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Bells

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1

Tuesday, June 5th 2007, 6:52pm

Welcome

Well I guess I'll just do a little post in here to get the ball rolling.

If you're in here then you're here for a reason and that's because you want to discuss your aim to have a family without having to justify yourself or without feeling any guilt for wanting another baby.

We hope that this board will be of use, we know that many people on this site feel uneasy about expressing a desire for more children and they feel uneasy about mentioning that they already have children while undergoing treatment or if they fall pregnant naturally after having treatment the first time. We have members who fell pregnant naturally the first time who cannot conceive this time without help and we have some members who feel like they belong to FZ but are not having any form of treatment, just need our support.

We want to be sensitive to everyone and we want to include everyone, we hope this new private board will help everyone feel like they belong on FZ.





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2

Tuesday, June 5th 2007, 8:36pm

Although i'm not having any treatment, although praying for a miracle natural BFP. xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



Bells

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Tuesday, June 5th 2007, 8:40pm

Oh Clare, I do hope you get a BFP naturally.

Do you feel like recapping on your history or any treatment from before the twins came along?





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Tuesday, June 5th 2007, 8:46pm

We tried to conceive for approx 18 months, after having investigations it turned out my DH had slow swimmers. We where very lucky that on our first attempt of ICSI we got PG with twins. Although i think the chances of a natural BFP is very very slim, we are hoping that it will happen this way. The reason we don't want treatment is because 1. we can't afford it!! 2. i don't want to put myself through the trauma of treatment. Dh is going to give up drinking and eat a better diet for the nest 3 months and see if things improve!! xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



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Tuesday, June 5th 2007, 11:02pm

This is a good idea, this new part of the board. I can remember if you're ttc for the first time that you can't always fully understand how the need for a second child must be so strong. I'm sure there are very few who would really begrudge us a second (or more) child, but it feels good to know we can post somewhere where we can be sure people aren't ranting at the screen as they read our posts.

I'm joining too. I really thought I would only want two children, so I surprise myself to find that I really long for a third. Because I'm 40 now, I want my children to have siblings to be there for each other when I'm not around (when they're grown up - I have no intention of disappearing for a few decades yet!).
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Pootle

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 11:39am

I'd like to join in please!

Have a beautiful daughter, who's 2, conceived with no difficulty (pregnancy and birth not quite such a smooth ride!). But have been trying since her first birthday for another, and have now been told I have PCOS and am ovulating "infrequently and sporadically", I believe is how it was phrased...........!

The shock of seeing a copy of the consultant's letter back to my GP stating I had 'secondary infertility' was enormous and has knocked my confidence a lot.

Anyway, I'm a bit of a chubba, so am trying really hard to lose weight before starting clomid in Aug/Sep.

I think this new board is a great idea, as I find it so hard to explain why I desperately want another baby, and if anything my desire to conceive is stronger than before I had Evelyn, which sounds a bit ridiculous really. But does anyone understand that?

So, hope to chat to lots of lovely Mums and support each other through this!

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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7

Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 11:52am

hi jodie

I totally understand im finding it so much harder emotionally this time round

Livvie was 4 a couple of weeks ago, my best friend is pg with her 5th baby which she wanted so much i am really happy for her, but livvie keeps asking why my bf is pg and mummy and daddy cant
ive tried explaining my tummy doesnt work properly livvie just gives me a hug and tells me we just have to be patient, bless her

I guess so guilty this time because livvie desperatly wants a brother or sister when we go to friends she cries when she comes home saying she is the only one who doesnt have brothers or sisters and is all on her own.


Daily she asks if there is a baby in my tummy yet and it is heart breaking to say the least. I guess i feel guilty for livvie and marty as they desperatly want another member in the family as much as me.

I get so emotional its really difficult all people say is at least you have 1, as they walk around with 3 kids saying maybe later in the year they will have another as they being a mum, like i dont?.

sorry im starting to rant now sat here sobbing

i am so pleased we have this thread i didnt feel i could talk much in the others i didnt want to upset anyone.

i am on fz all day but dont post often i guess now i will be able to

sorry for the rant i didnt intend on this it is just a relief i guess
thanks for listening take care
love zoexxx
me 31 dh 30
me severe pcos
iui dd born 25weeks gestation
6 failed stimmed iui cycles since may 2007





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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 11:58am

I had a very long seven year wait with intemittant treatment of metformin and clomid, I concieved in 2005 with Libby and she was born without major problems in January 2006. We started to try more or less straight away for a second child, knowing that we wanted more than 1.

I find the desire to have another alot harder to cope with, almost well I have done it once WHY can't i do it again.

I have had three lots of clomid with BFN and am waiting for a lap to see if I am ok inside to start Gonal - F. BUT I have to lose weight first and with having PCOS this is proving hard, although I do go to the gym most days and work my socks off. I try to eat healthy but sometimes it aint happening lol.

I still find myself looking at other women that are PG thinking look at them, why them, I'm better Mum than them etc. I can get very jealous and feel bad about it as I have no-one to talk to about it.

Binky

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:00pm

Starlight that really annoys me when people say that ... Well at least you have one..... OK I have one she is my world the best thing ever but I still have this HUGE pain inside me that I am missing another child, it is a physical pain for me. Grrrrr

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:14pm

I agree, its sooooooooo frustrating when people say 'at least you've got one'. I know I'm lucky to have her, she's fantastic, but in a way that's worse because I want it so much FOR my beautiful girl now, not just me, and as Mums we all know that not to be able to give your child something they desperately want is just the pits.

Evelyn goes to nursery a couple of mornings a week, and always wants to play with the babies. She now asks when we can get one, and can't understand why her friends get to go home with babies and she doesn't. I cried the other day when I picked her up and she told me she loved babies.

Zoe, I really understand what you're saying and yes, I too am jealous of the luxury other people take for granted, saying things like 'we're going to have another one next year'.

I worry that the desperate need for another child is going to become all consuming in the near future and that I won't be able to enjoy Evelyn because I'll be so focussed on having a baby.

I'm getting snivelly now, which is mad as I have an interview in an hour! Must go and reapply the mascara..............

This is going to be a great thread and I know we're going to help each other a lot.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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11

Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:28pm

good luck jodie

im sure you will be fine

i agree i think this thread is going to be fantastic

take care
love zoexx
me 31 dh 30
me severe pcos
iui dd born 25weeks gestation
6 failed stimmed iui cycles since may 2007





Bells

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12

Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:34pm

Ladies, it's great that you feel safe in here.

Feel free to start threads in these boards, if you want your diaries in here then let us know.





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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:38pm

hi ladies

this is going to sound silly but this is how i feel

i gave birth to livvie at 25 weeks gestation, she was taken straight to scbu after her birth

i feel as if i have never actually been pregnant its sounds crazy but i never had a bump noone felt livve kick not even marty which hurts as all our friends and family he has felt there babies moving but not his own daughter
.

I found it distressing when livvie was literally delivered then i watched tubes been put down her throat then she was gone, i never got to hold my baby or even see her really it tortures me to this day

i posted a thread a couple of weeks ago about livvies birthday and it was awful i am consumed with guilt over not carrying her to term, as she was so prem i had problems expressing and my milk dried up at 7 weeks i desperatly wanted to breast feed, i guess i feel like a failure, i do not want another baby to replace the bond i had with livvie when she was born i wouldnt change her for the world, but i desperatly want a sibling for her and also want to be pregnant have a bump feel the baby moving have people asking when im due i know it sounds so selfish.

i love livvie she is my life and i couldnt imagine not having her but even now i sometimes look at her and find it hard to believe she is mine it sounds crazy

as you say the pain is physical not just emotional i am at the end of my tether

i had open adhesiolysis and ovarian drilling in november as my pcos is so severe alot worse than when i had clomid and iui with livvie

i start synarel dr nasal spray on the 14 th of this month followed by daily scans and stimm injectios, i have to have daily scans as my pcos is so severe, everything seems so daunting i dont know whether i can go through with it and the tortureous 2 ww

i am so pleased i can explain myself here

sorry for ranting i just needed to get it all off my chest

thanks a million for listening ladies
take care
love zoexx
me 31 dh 30
me severe pcos
iui dd born 25weeks gestation
6 failed stimmed iui cycles since may 2007





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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:41pm

hi bells

could i please have my diary over here i have not posted in it much as i didnt want to offend anyone

thanks a million

love zoexx
me 31 dh 30
me severe pcos
iui dd born 25weeks gestation
6 failed stimmed iui cycles since may 2007





Bells

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:42pm

No problem Zoe x





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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 12:43pm

thanks bells

zoexxx
me 31 dh 30
me severe pcos
iui dd born 25weeks gestation
6 failed stimmed iui cycles since may 2007





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17

Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 7:23pm

I'm here too, nd like Diddle praying for a miracle! Good luck to us all!!

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 7:52pm

Zoe- I know exactly how you feel hun. T was born early too at 30 weeks. and i too feel "cheated" out of a pregnancy. Whilst i would deary love him to have a sibling, I'm so scared that this one will be the same, or even earlier. I would love to be pg again- almost just so that I know i can conceive naturally, and carry a baby to term.

A bit scared of trying again really. Am i really ready?? I don't know for sure- i guess nobody knows do they????

xx





angel

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 8:17pm

hey all

room for one more :))

a bit about me...ll

i have got to great twin boys (who are now 15 8o)
they were born at 40wks +3 days and were 7lb 2 and 8lb 2

they were conceived naturally.

and have been ttc on and off for the last 14 years

my af's have always been up the wall but it was not untill 2003 that i found out i had pcos.

i was put on met but it made me really ill so they took me off it and put me on 4 months of clomid thats did not work so then moved onto iui with clomid, had iui once as all the other months the clomid did not work.

got so fed up took a year off
then in 2005 went back to see what they could do for the pcos and the doc put me back on the met (started off very slow) and have been ok on it

then this year i was put on met and clomid, had 3 months so far but nothing so far.

got to say as well as me have pcos and Arthritis
my dh has Epilepsy,Depression and ocd


and thats me...lol

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Wednesday, June 6th 2007, 10:38pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Rose
Zoe- I know exactly how you feel hun. T was born early too at 30 weeks. and i too feel "cheated" out of a pregnancy. Whilst i would deary love him to have a sibling, I'm so scared that this one will be the same, or even earlier. I would love to be pg again- almost just so that I know i can conceive naturally, and carry a baby to term.

A bit scared of trying again really. Am i really ready?? I don't know for sure- i guess nobody knows do they????

xx


Evelyn was also a premmie - 32 weeks, and I have that desire to 'do it properly' as well. I want to start maternity leave, have decorated a nursery, packed a hospital bag etc.

Rose, when we decided to start trying, I was really scared of having pre-eclampsia again, a baby in SCBU etc, but the desire for another child took over fairly quickly. Never would have guessed that actually getting pregnant in the first place was going to be difficult....................... :rolleyes:

x






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DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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Thursday, June 7th 2007, 10:39am

Shove over and let me in too!

I can relate to so much on here. I too have a lot of guilt over the way DD was born and my problems breastfeeding her and I want another baby to get it right. I feel really bad about this because its a bad reason to have a child. I do have other more positive reasons for wanting another baby like being able to provide a loving and stable home and also because I don't want DD to be an only child, but I worry that the bad reasons will overtake the good ones. I really don't want to get a obsessed with TTC as I was before DD was concieved but I can already feel myself getting that way.

Also I don't know how I'm going to get pregnant when I'm so bloomin' knackered all the time. We had sex about 4 times since DD was born, thats not going to get me up the duff is it! And part of me wonders do I really want another child just yet, how knackered would I be then!

Edited because I really wnated to say that had I never had problems concieving D D, I never would have known you lot on here so I'm very grateful for that.




This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "mrsjasper" (Jun 7th 2007, 10:40am)


Binky

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22

Thursday, June 7th 2007, 11:00am

I can relate to wanting another baby to put things rights, I struggeled with breastfeeding and also being to uptight about being a new mum in general, but I know deep down that I have always wanted more than one child and the pull is as strong if not stronger now i know what its all about.

But i also panic about can i really love another as much as Libby, and do I really want to go through it all agian.

As it took so longer from Libby to be concieved I feel like I had to start straight away and that I have to see it through, as if I give up trying I will regret it in the future.

I have set limits for myself in order to stop the obssessive state I was in ttc Libby, I have given myself a further 2 years, which in ttc terms is not a long time...but how long do I put my life on hold for?

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Thursday, June 7th 2007, 11:48am

Don't know Binky - difficult to say. DH is 40 next year and had originally said he didn't want to try past that but obviously that seems really close and I'm trying to persuade him otherwise. I suppose its whatever feels right for each person.

Evelyn is 2 so I kind of had in mind that if it doesn't happen by the time she's 6/7 then that'll be enough trying for us.

x






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DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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Friday, June 8th 2007, 7:03pm

Hi, my ds is 6 now and I thought the gap would be too large but to be honest it is only now that he is showing interest in having another sibling. He has often been upset about not having Lucy to play with but never asked for a different one! Anyway, now I have a 6 year old I reckon the gap thing is less important. I teach a lovely boy at school who is 10 and has just got a new baby brother and he seems pleased.


Me 39, DH 40 Children, Lucy and DS (7)
Lucy lost in car accident 8th April 2002
TTC 6 years - ICSI x 4 - :BFN: x 4







Spider's Diary


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Friday, June 8th 2007, 10:14pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Binky
But i also panic about can i really love another as much as Libby


Believe me, it's perfectly possible. It was one of my main worries too, but it's nothing to worry about. I knew I was having another boy when I was pg second time, and had always thought it would be possible to love a girl and a boy because they're so different, so worried about having another boy. All I can say is, I'm besotted with both. So much so that I want another!!!... which is why I'm on this board!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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26

Saturday, June 9th 2007, 9:11am

Hello to All,

This is my first post on the site and am currenly on my 3rd fet, going through the long 2WW. I too have a 4 year old daughter who constantly asks why her friends have baby brothers and sisters. She plays 'babies' all the time with her friends, and asks why we can't have one. I just say we have to be really lucky to have a baby and maybe one day we will!
Daisychain


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27

Saturday, June 9th 2007, 9:59am

Welcome Daisychain! I know all about that 2ww after FET. :rolleyes: It is such a loooong time, isn't it. Did you have embryos transferred, or blastocysts, and when is your test date? How are you feeling? Imagining/feeling any symptoms yet?! Was your 4-year old conceived naturally or through IVF?

Nice to have you here on this board!
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Pootle

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28

Saturday, June 9th 2007, 12:35pm

Hello Daisychain and welcome to FZ! Look forward to talking to you!

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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29

Saturday, June 9th 2007, 2:54pm

Hi Limpet,

Thanks for the welcome, my 4 year old was conceived naturally although we took about a year to get PG, was beginning to wonder back then if something was up!

I had 2 embryos transferred on 30th May so test date on 13th June. Not really getting any obvious signs of any kind. Not sure if thats a good or bad so i will try not to think about it! But we know thats impossible too.........
Daisychain


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30

Saturday, June 9th 2007, 6:24pm

Will keep my fingers crossed for you for Wednesday. I think Rivka will be thrilled if you get a BFP as I reckon she must be getting lonely on the trying again pregnancy chat thread!

x






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DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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31

Thursday, July 5th 2007, 12:29am

Hi, I hope you don't mind me joining you.

DD is a year old now. I am having problems with sweats and hot flushes so have come off the pill. We have decided to start trying after Christmas or at least after we have moved to Portsmouth and got settled - but as I am no longer taking the pill I guess anything could happen.

We really hope to get pg naturally, I am not sure that I want to go through ICSI again, for various reasons. I am very very lucky to have DD and I am more than happy with her but as I am travelling with my husbands job every 3 years, I thought it would be great for DD to have a sibling to have some fun with and her moans with and a bit of security and familiarity when moving schools/areas, etc.

Anyway, DH has poor motility and morphology. We do know that if he stopped smoking and took his vitamins like last time that it will improve so that is what we are planning to do once we are settled in our new house. But in the meantime, you never know what can happen with no pressure!!!

So I hope to be updating you with some good news within the next few months or so. I look forward to keeping up with everyones progress .

Good luck ladies :D



Rivka

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32

Thursday, July 5th 2007, 8:11am

hello everyone who has recently decided to try again. Sending positive thoughts your way :D







Pootle

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33

Thursday, July 5th 2007, 8:33am

Hello Lady Luck! There's quite a few of us 'trying again' ladies keeping diaries - why don't you join us!

Wishing you lots of luck.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008





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