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  • "broody4another" started this thread

Posts: 19

Reg: Jun 22nd 2006

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1

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 12:17pm

What is the etiquette for attending clinics with a toddler?

Ladies, any of you who have had IVF for no 2, can I ask, is it ok to bring your toddler with you for consultations, scans etc? I really really would not like to be insensitive to other patients (I remember the awful silence of those waiting rooms), but DD is not at nursery and my and DH's family live miles away, and I wouldn't want to burden friends for all the appts. If it is not really the done thing, then we will have to leave any future treatment until DD is at pre-school/school.

kar1

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2

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 12:24pm

i know at my clinic children are not allowed into scans etc with mummy and i have never seen a child there saying that there are toys in the waiting room

i would phone and check
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

  • "broody4another" started this thread

Posts: 19

Reg: Jun 22nd 2006

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3

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 12:34pm

That is as I expected kar1. Oh well, that makes our decision for us I guess.

Ethel

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Reg: Oct 4th 2005

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4

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 1:13pm

The clinic I went to - there were sometimes children there in the waiting room - think they waited with dad when mom went into scan- to be honest I quite liked it it gave me hope

Good luck with your treatment


kar1

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5

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 1:25pm

i must admit it wouldn't bother me, like ronan says it gives hope
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

  • "broody4another" started this thread

Posts: 19

Reg: Jun 22nd 2006

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6

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 1:39pm

Thanks girls, I was just thinking about clinics and it hit me, I don't think I ever saw children in the waiting rooms. (I did see a toddler with his parents on the day of my egg collection, the mum was having hers done as well, and I remember thinking, 'well, at least she has one' :O. Maybe units attached to the larger hospitals have creches? I mean, the scans is ok, she could be with DH, even outside, but it's the appts that we would need to attend together. But I always said that any futher treatment would not take over my life and I would never allow myself to neglect DD. It's just that in the past I have had a rather elevated FSH level so on the other hand if I did have any more treatment I don't think I should leave it too late. But I'm sanguine really, if I need to postpone/cancel it, so be it.

Posts: 2,792

Reg: Oct 1st 2005

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7

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 1:40pm

I would check with your clinic first, but tbh lets face it as much as TTC is hard there are those of us who do it twice and who can't concieve without assistance after our first etc. xxx
Mum of 3 year old twins.
Had ICSI worked first time


Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!!



  • "londonchic" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 218

Reg: Oct 18th 2005

Location: surrey

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8

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 1:40pm

i took my little boy with me once but as he is nearly 7 he just sat quietly and waited while i went for a scan. I remember seeing a child of about 18 months who was allowed out of the pushchair to run around the room screaming and going through the other patients handbags! i think that took the p*** a little

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9

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 2:08pm

im sure some people have to take their children, i have had to take ds with me to cons appointments and for my most recent scans, but this was in a gynea dept, not a fertility clinc. i would ring them to be sure hun.
hope this little hurdle doesnt stand in the way of you starting your next tx.

love kerry xxx



I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!



mariej

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Posts: 70

Reg: Oct 9th 2006

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10

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 3:55pm

i agree check with clinic

but

where we went there were toys for children in the waiting areas and other people did sometimes take their youngsters along

far from feeling envy/jealous etc, I loved watching the little kids play and it did make me feel that IVF could obviously work for other people, so why not us. Yes it did give me a lot of hope and it made for a nicer atmosphere than people sat around looking despondent and glum

They also had a fantastic load of baby photos sent in from successful couples, i remember one that had a cake in front of a baby with the message "Thanks for our Miracle" that made me want to cry but in a good way

hope this issue doen't delay your treatment


TTC for 5 years
3 failed attempts at IUI ;(
Surprise BFP on 1st attempt IVF with ICSI :D

Awaiting our first little miracle due 22nd June 2007 ...




Posts: 366

Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

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11

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 4:16pm

i took my Ds to an appointment when i was having my follies scanned - he found it interesting.
When it came time for me to have a blood test, he went into the waiting room with his game boy.
The staff didnt mind at all, he was 5 at the time and was on half term.







  • "broody4another" started this thread

Posts: 19

Reg: Jun 22nd 2006

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12

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 7:52pm

Aww, thanks for your kind words ladies, it does sound a bit silly in the grand scheme of things doesn't it? I will call them up before hand just to be sure, when I finally settle on a clinic!

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Reg: Sep 27th 2005

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13

Thursday, February 1st 2007, 10:42pm

Our clinic had toys, and sometimes there were children there, sometimes not. For about half my appointments before having DS2, I took DS1 with me, and nobody seemed to give me disapproving looks. While there are some places where having a child around can be really insensitive, at least at a fertility clinic, it's fairly likely that a child that's in the waiting room is also the product of fertility treatment, so the mother has already ridden the emotional rollercoaster herself.

I agree, though - phone the clinic and see what they prefer.

You say you don't ever want to neglect DD, but a few appointments over a few weeks to produce a sibling for DD - that's not neglect, but a wonderful thing you'd be doing for her as well as for you. Don't put it off just because you want to wait till she's at school so you can go to appointments - that doesn't make sense to me.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

  • "broody4another" started this thread

Posts: 19

Reg: Jun 22nd 2006

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14

Friday, February 2nd 2007, 1:23pm

You're right Limpet, that is just the kick up the bum I needed. I'm just making everything so complicated (sigh). I know what it is, it's cos I'm still half thinking maybe I'm being selfish wanting another so soon, maybe I should be grateful for DD and if I'm blessed with another naturally great, if not, then not. But what you say about it being wonderful for her to have a sibling, that has got me. A friend of mine has just had her second baby and DD was looking at him and was obviously curious, and the big sister of this little boy looked so proud and protective (even at the age of 18 months), that I thought I would really love DD not to be an only child.

Ok, that's my last post for now, you must all be sick of me by now ;)

Posts: 366

Reg: Nov 14th 2005

Location: berkshire

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15

Friday, February 2nd 2007, 2:45pm

my ds told his teachers i was going to hospital to get a baby .........

if only it was that simple !!







kar1

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16

Friday, February 2nd 2007, 3:29pm

have you phoned the clinic and asked about this ?
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

  • "broody4another" started this thread

Posts: 19

Reg: Jun 22nd 2006

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17

Friday, February 2nd 2007, 7:38pm

Kar1, no I haven't. I'm at a v. early stage in all this and am still considering changing clinics due to the fact that my old clinic has become more difficult to reach.

I think I might have come across badly, with all my dithering about should I have more IVF and my guilt over DD . I haven't really gone into this before for annonymity reasons, but what the heck. This is all due to something personal that happened to DH and me. When DD was 5 months old we had a menningitis scare and DD was admitted to the peadiatric ward. She was fine, it turned out to be a nasty virus and she was discharged the next day, but at the time it was the most frightening moment of my life. And I had one of those crazy, irrational, desperate, making-deals-with-God moments, when I more or less prayed 'Please let DD be alright, she is all I need, I don't need any other children, I promise I won't have any more fertility treatment, as long as she is ok.' So, for a while after that I was in turmoil. I had my natural maternal instincts to have a sibling for DD, but I felt uncomfortable because of my pledge. If it wasn't for this I can honestly say I wouldn't think twice about further IVF. Since then I have made peace with God (I am not madly religious, but I do have faith), I know God is not in the business of doing deals. But lets just say I occasionally have the odd supersititous moment, when things look complicated on this journey into trying to make babies when your body lets you down.

OK, I really am going now, and won't be back until I have something a bit more definite to report x




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