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  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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Monday, October 9th 2006, 5:36pm


Does anyone feel the same as me? I feel really guilty that I am unable to give DD a little brother or sister. She talks about it all the time and asks why everyone else has a sister or brother and she doesn't. Sometimes when she is playing on her own she invents siblings, it is so sad.

TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x



  • "Bon" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 151

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

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Monday, October 9th 2006, 5:56pm

HUge huge hugs hun xxx

  • "SingingNun" is no longer a member of FZ
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 2,125

Reg: Feb 8th 2006

Location: Here, There & Everywhere

Children: Rebecca, born 12th March 2008

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Monday, October 9th 2006, 6:47pm


xxx Lorraine xxx

Me: 39 & DH: 42 ~ TTC: 5yrs; M/c@7.5wks (20/1/03) & became a mum after our 2nd IUI attempt in June 2007 to 6lbs 4ozs baby girl called Rebecca after an emergency caesarean section at 6.29am on 12th March 2008



Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

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Monday, October 9th 2006, 6:59pm

Wish I could think of something clever to say to make you feel better. [zx127]

At least she has parents who love her very much.



    United Kingdom

Posts: 21,402

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

What's Up?
Manners are appreciated
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Monday, October 9th 2006, 7:01pm

Like Mrs J, I can't think of anything clever to say. Only that you have nothing to feel guilty about, you know that don't you? Your daughter is so lucky to have a mummy and daddy who love her very much indeed. Can you talk to her about some of her friends who don't have brothers or sisters?

Hugs hun


Have we supported you? Can you support us?


My journey has now ended. 6 babies in Heaven.

'It'll be all right in the end - if it isn't all right yet then it isn't the end!'



  • "cookie" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 5,210

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Tuesday, October 10th 2006, 8:35am

debs im right there with you hun, i asked dan what he wanted for his birthday a few weeks ago, and he said a sister, my heart just broke, all i could think was 'im sorry' my heart aches for him to have someone to play with, he is such a loving carling little boy, and even walking around the supermarket he will say....' aww mommy look at that baby, isnt he/she beautiful?? mommy can we have a baby?' ;( oh my darling little man, if only you knew how i was trying.

we will get there in the end debs. keep faith and if you want to chat, im here,


love kerry xxx

I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!

Posts: 97

Reg: Feb 3rd 2006

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Tuesday, October 10th 2006, 8:58am

Hi Debs
I know exactly what you mean. My DD is 4 and all her friends at school have either just got baby brothers or sisters or there mums are due. She asks every time she sees a baby why we aren't going to have a baby and it breaks my heart. I can't even take it in myself so I can't explain to her. I feel so guilty.

Hope you will get there. I'm here if you want to chat

Me 27 DH 35
Natural Pregnancy 2001 miscarried at 10 weeks
Natural Pregnancy Daughter born May 2002
TTC baby #2 since 2003
ICSI #1 September 2005 - BFN
ICSI #2 February 2006 - BFP miscarried at 8 weeks



Posts: 1,259

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: N Ireland

Children: One son, aged 8, daughter 1

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Tuesday, October 10th 2006, 10:30pm

Hi Debs, been there for a long time now. My heart breaks when Joel asks for a sister ( and he has been since 18 months old). It has made a real difference for us to have something to tell him. I don't honestly know what we'll do if not approved as adopters. I just used to tell him to ask God to make mummy's tumy all better because it was sick adn mummy can't grow any babies. that was enough for him - but I know not all children would understand that. I also have told him about the baby that we lost, so he knows that he is not alone. I have found being close to his cousins has helped too. I hate it when poeple asssume that you want an only child though - sometimes they are so tactless. Thinking of you. Pm me anytime, love Lesa xxx
Keep smiling :happy:

Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

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Friday, October 13th 2006, 8:58am

Oh ;( ;( We all remember fights and arguments with our siblings, but underneath that relationship is such a blessing. Debs, Cookie, Emma, Rufus: I wish you all that miracle that you and your little ones are seeking.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D

Posts: 818

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: West of Scotland

Children: DS#1 (clomid) 1999 -vb - DS#2 (natural BFP) c-sec

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Friday, October 13th 2006, 9:59pm

I had the same from Callum from when he was about 3 - he'd stand at the top of the stairs and ask why he couldn't have a baby brother or sister as everyone else had one .... and even Holly next door had 2!!!! nothing we could say except mummy and daddy are trying very hard to get a brother or sister for you but we just have to wait until its our turn ... and I know it happened a long time after we thought it would (Callum's 7 1/2 now) but Callum now has his little brother and loves him to bits :D

Don't give up hope girls -- I know it may seem easy for me to say because I have my two mircales but I'll never ever forget all those years of ttc and all the heartache that goes with it . It took us a long time but we got there in the end ;)

DS#1 FEB 1999 (CLOMID)
DS#2 MAY 2006 - MIRACLE !!



  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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Thursday, October 19th 2006, 5:13pm

I lost this thread haha, found it now though. We have explained things to dd that mummy and daddy are trying to have a baby and she seems to have accepted it, I was laughing though as she said "why dont we go out a walk and see if we can find you a seed and you can eat that and have a baby lol", (my fabulous birds and the bees education).

Thank you to you all for your lovely words of support it means so much to me and really helps to know I am not alone. Thanks girls xx

TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x

Posts: 511

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: infront of the pc!!

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Thursday, October 19th 2006, 8:30pm

hi debs,
i`m in that same situation with my dd. it`s so hard. dd thinks that i can just have a baby at the drop of a hat. she loves playing midwives with me, where she cuts my belly up and takes the baby out! last week i had 6!! 8o she`s always saying `mummy, you have a baby in your belly!!`
i asked dd today why she`s been so naughty and her reply was that it`s coz she`s not got a brother to play with ;(
hugs hun.

me 25,
partner 33,
7 year old daughter
3 step daughters aged 9, 5 and 3
3 m/c 01, 04 and o5



Posts: 22

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005


Children: 1 daughter 7years old

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Sunday, October 22nd 2006, 6:58pm

hi Debs

i am also in the same situations my 5year old keeps asking when she is going to get a brother or sister.i just keep saying to her she will have 1 one day.

chloe's friends have brothers and sisters and that upsets her as they say to her that she will never have a baby, and that is coming from 5years old kids.
i just hope one day her dreams will come true. kerryjones.
1st ivf bfn nov 2005
2nd ivf bfn may 2007
waiting until after our hoilday in may for our last go.