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51

Friday, February 16th 2018, 1:29pm

Hi girls,

JMcK - my first FET was 3.20 and my last one was at 2.15. Glad all looking good for you. I had Dr Mc Manus last week and she was lovely. The first time I actually saw the transfer on the screen.

Hope you are being kind to yourself Annie.

Ashastar- good to know about private appointments. Wish I had of known that in the past instead of stressing out for 12 weeks

I have thankfully got myself back on a even keel again. Rollercoaster of emotions is an understatement!

Look after yourselves x

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52

Monday, February 19th 2018, 9:17pm

Thanks Little Orchid. Yeah, Dr McManus is lovely. The doctor used the screen for my first transfer and actually gave me a wee picture. I've still got it. How are you keeping? Xx

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53

Tuesday, February 20th 2018, 3:39pm

Hi Ashastar and JMcK- hope you are both keeping well and staying positive.

Unfortunately things didn't work out this time for us. I swear I never had so many "pregnancy symptoms" - and had convinced myself that it had worked. I am so thankful for what I have, but also very disappointed that this wasn't to be. I have to be realistic about my chances of success in the future as I am 40. I want to give it my best shot, for myself, my partner and my little girl but ivf isn’t for the faint hearted. I have already ‘beaten the odds’ and the financial and emotional toll of potentially unsuccessful future ivf cycles weigh heavy on my mind. In saying that I don’t feel I have totally closed this chapter yet, and I am considering a Prague clinic with genetic screening (pgs) in the summer. But in the immediate future - a bottle of wine!

Girls- I really wish you every success. Will be keeping a wee eye on how you get on. Fingers crossed x

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54

Tuesday, February 20th 2018, 7:28pm

Awww Little Orchid I'm so sorry to hear that, really I am. The disappointment and every emotion you are feeling are all completely natural and understandable. Unfortunately I know all of those feelings. There is nothing anybody can say to make it any better. Take some time, weigh up your options and do what's best for you and your little family. Hug that little girl of your's a bit tighter tonight. She is a precious little thing. Look after yourself. Xx

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Tuesday, February 20th 2018, 7:58pm

Thank you for your very kind words JMcK.

I will be thinking of you on Friday. Stay positive x

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Tuesday, February 20th 2018, 9:02pm

Thanks Little Orchid. Xx

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57

Tuesday, February 20th 2018, 10:18pm

Oh little orchid, I'm so sorry to read this. I hope you are ok. I know where you are coming from about not being sure about having further treatment. If this cycle fails it will be the end of the road for me as we just couldn't afford a fresh cycle yet it will be very hard to accept. As JMcK has said, take some time to think about it and just spend time with your little one. I'm sure like me you already know how very lucky you have been but at the same time it's so very hard to not want more. This is such a difficult and unfair journey. Thinking about you tonight xx
Ashastar

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58

Tuesday, February 20th 2018, 10:39pm

So sorry to hear that little orchid. Thinking of you xox

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59

Wednesday, February 21st 2018, 8:05pm

Ah little orchid. Keep the chin up. There's no words to comfort you. Enjoy your wine xx

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60

Thursday, February 22nd 2018, 5:46pm

Thanks for the messages Ashastar, fifs, and Anniebell.

Hope you are finding strength Anniebell.

Best of luck for tomorrow JMcK

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Thursday, February 22nd 2018, 6:04pm

Thanks Little Orchid. How are you? Xx

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62

Thursday, February 22nd 2018, 8:04pm

TBH my head is racing.

I keep telling myself I need to take a bit of time to deal with this disappointment, but then I am looking at ‘what next’. Do I be ruled by my head or my heart? The statistics at my age makes grim reading- but even if there’s a small chance surely that’s a chance. Going round in circles. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t realise how fortunate I am, but so hard to let my dreams go. But in so many ways having my little girl is beyond my dreams ... I am exhausting myself with so many thoughts. Emotions probably not helped by the hormones. Will go for some counselling and get some reflexology sorted to try and help me make more rational decisions about the future.

I am sure you don’t need to hear my noisy brain!

This is to all the girls on this forum- be so proud of yourselves for being so strong to do this. I know it isn’t a choice any of us would make, but it takes strength to do it, which you will find. I pray and hope that things will work out for you all x

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63

Thursday, February 22nd 2018, 9:56pm

Good luck for tomorrow JMcK. I'm not far behind you. Had my scan yesterday and all is good for transfer on Wednesday.

I know what you mean little orchid. When I found out I was pregnant with my son I was absolutely certain that one child would be enough for me and that I would never consider more treatment. Yet he was only a few months old when I was already imagining having another. In a way I feel guilty about it as I've been so lucky but then I think it's so unfair that we have to feel this way when all we want is what comes naturally to so many others. Definitely take some time to think it all through though. The gut reaction after a failed treatment is always to try again as soon as possible but that's not always the best thing. You can always come and rant here. Everyone understands how you are feeling. Look after yourself xx
Ashastar

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FET Nov 2014 :BFP: smile2

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64

Friday, February 23rd 2018, 9:18pm

Awww Little Orchid, I totally understand. This is a total psychological roller coaster and it takes over your whole life. The come down from a failed cycle is mentally very difficult. I found it was anyway. But I was always thinking but I can go again with another cycle but where do you draw the line and give up on your dreams. There is no doubt you have been very blessed with your little girl but why shouldn't you have another child. I think some you time and time out is needed, as you say maybe some counselling, reflexology, etc. Rant away as much as you want. Lol.

I had my embryo transfer today. I had 4 embryos left and when I rang the embryologist i was mentally trying to prepare myself for all eventualities including being told none of my embryos had survived. The embryologist told me they had to thaw 3 of my 4 embryos as the first 2 didn't survive but thankfully the third did. I know how lucky I am to have back up, it could have very easily been game over for me today. Dr McManus did the transfer and it was very straightforward. So I'm officially on my 2 week waitagainI! I said to Dr McManus on the way out hopefully it will be third time lucky for me.

Good luck for Wednesday Ashastar.

Xxxxxxxxxx

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65

Friday, February 23rd 2018, 10:43pm

Thanks ashastar and JMcK.

Delighted all went well for you today JMcK- hope you have nice relaxing things planned or whatever will see you through the next wee bit.
You too ashastar - hope you have a relaxing weekend before Wednesday. You had mentioned you went for a private review Ashastar- do you know if the consultant had access to your medical file from Rfc?

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66

Friday, February 23rd 2018, 10:56pm

Great news JMcK although a bit scary about the 2 not surviving the thaw! I hope the 2ww flies in for you. I will keep everything crossed.

Little orchid, he had some very limited information. To be honest I felt like it must have been the easiest £150 he had made that week. I was in for about 10 minutes max and all he did was get me to sign the form to proceed with the fet. I asked if he could tell me the grade of my embryo and he didn't have that information. I guess you could maybe request a copy of your file from the RFC and then take it with you to a private review?
Ashastar

IVF June 2014 :BFN: :tear:
FET Nov 2014 :BFP: smile2

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67

Saturday, February 24th 2018, 12:00am

Hope the 2ww goes quick for you jmck, fingers crossed!

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Saturday, February 24th 2018, 7:38am

Thanks Ashastar & Fifs. Xx

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Tuesday, February 27th 2018, 6:11pm

Best of luck for tomorrow Ashastar x

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70

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 10:00am

Thanks little orchid. My wee embie survived the thaw and was transferred yesterday. The waiting has now begun! I'm already symptom spotting - don't have any so already starting to worry. The 2ww is mental torture.

How are you JMcK? x
Ashastar

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71

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 11:20am

Thanks great that it survived the thaw- you have a real chance now-best of luck xx

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72

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 12:33pm

Girls, I'm having a rant and I don't know where to post it. I cannot wait for my FET to come around. How long is the waiting list again? If I were to pay privately for full FET how long would I wait do you know?

My brother in law and his wife just announced their pregnancy to us. I'm heartbroken and slightly livid. They know our story and our journey and thought the right time to tell us she is 3 weeks pregnant is exactly to the day 3 weeks after my transfer which failed after 4 days. I had tried not to let our failed go get to me but this news has opened the floodgates and I feel horrendous.

On another note (and I feel so so so silly asking this) I last tested at 14dp5dt and had a bfn. I havent had no blood test and no urine test since but I feel horrendous. Tired, low energy and sick stomach most early afternoons. Am I being crazy to think maybe? I know I've a low mood but that's because of the above. Whatever I buried has came right to the surface. I have to admit I broke down on hearing the news and them felt immediately guilty.

Thank God for snow storms I get to hide away and try to recover!!

Sorry for ranting and raving.

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73

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 1:04pm

Hi Anniebell - sorry you are going through such a difficult time.
I had my nhs fet over a year ago, so waiting times may have changed since then. Maybe someone who has had nhs fet treatment could tell you better, or ring Rfc to ask.

As for my private FEt, after my review with the consultant I could ring up to start whenever I was ready. It took maybe 4 weeks to get an appointment with the nurse to go through meds etc. The usual waiting for day 21 etc

I can understand you wanting to start as soon as you can, although make sure you recover from this too- which is hard. I don’t know if you had fertility counselling but I found it useful to express my feelings to someone not emotionally involved. Not for everyone but it help me offload. Or something like reflexology to help with your anxiety. I know none of these things will ultimately ‘fix’ the yearning for a baby, but may help you deal with the emotional hurt.

Couples who haven’t experienced fertility issues have no idea of the deep hurt it can cause. So your brother in law and wife probably don’t get it. Not their fault, but it still hurts. Don’t feel guilty about feeling sad.

Look after yourself x

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74

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 1:56pm

I rang them. It's 3-4 months. Gives me a good while to lose some excess weight. We did have couselling but it was based around donor sperm rather than our feelings for IVF. I think it was pretty insensitive of them to be honest as they have a whole 9 months to break that news. They knew our struggle. 3.5 years we have been going through IVF for one cycle.

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75

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 2:04pm

Anniebell did I read that right and they’ve announced that to you and she’s only 3 weeks?? If I haven’t read it wrong I would be annoyed too, they could have afforded you another few weeks to prepare for that news if she’s so early in the pregnancy!!!!

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76

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 2:20pm

Yes she is 3 weeks and they told me exactly 3 weeks to the day I had the transfer. They told us Tuesday past. It was like taking a bullet. I did know they were trying and could have prepared myself if they hadn't previously told me (just last week) that she was having problems conceiving and was being booked for a laparscopy. I sort of put the possibility of them being pregnant to the back of my head. So it was a huge shock to me.

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Anniebell" (Mar 1st 2018, 2:22pm)


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77

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 2:24pm

It has transpired now they knew they were pregnant when they told us about laparscopy. I know I shouldn't allow it to hurt or annoy me but my emotions are so low already it has.

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78

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 2:37pm

Even if you weren’t prepared, with your attempt so fresh they could have easily waited a few weeks, it’s very early for them to be telling people, even if it’s family, a few weeks to let you get further away from your transfer date wouldn’t have done them any harm!!

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79

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 2:42pm

That's what I thought. Im trying to turn the hurt into motivation to lose some weight and prepare for my FET. It's not easy. Thanks for replying and not making me feel mad or selfish. X

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80

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 3:07pm

Not mad or selfish at all, completely natural feelings and with everything happening at once all the emotions will be heightened as well.

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81

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 3:47pm

Anniebell,

We cannot understand other people’s motivation/ lack of empathy etc.
We all have our ‘crosses to bear’, and although it is hard to understand why this happening- but believe everything will be ok in the end and if it’s not ok it’s not the end.

You have a frosty- and there is every reason to think that this will be the one.

Fifs

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82

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 4:20pm

Aw Anniebell, that would always be difficult to hear but yes you would have hoped that the news could be broken more delicately.

We're having similar good news stories all round us, within the space of 24 hours last weekend we were told my brother in law are expecting (also told us at 3 weeks) and my husband's best friend. Neither know our journey but still hard to hear. Esp when I know both were effectively produced on demand!!

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83

Thursday, March 1st 2018, 5:03pm

So pleased for you Ashastar, I have been trying to get on here the last few days but couldn't and I was dying to hear how you got on. How are you feeling? Who did your embryo transfer. I'm feeling absolutely fine, no symptoms. I am now 6 days post transfer. Eekkk! Xx

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84

Friday, March 2nd 2018, 11:10am

Hi JMcK, I couldn't get on to the site to update either. Was wondering how I would get through the 2ww without it lol! I am feeling the same as you, no symptoms other than a bit of cramping after the transfer and feeling very tired although I'm putting that down to having a 2 year old who has suddenly decided he doesn't like sleeping! I'm a bit stressed by the lack of symptoms as I'm sure at this stage last time I was having a lot of cramps and that was a successful cycle. Saying that, if I was cramping I'd probably be freaking out that it was a bad thing so I guess I just can't win! When will you test? Was yours a 5 day transfer?

My transfer was carried out by a new consultant, dr nicoletta or something? To be honest my heart sank when they said it would be the new consultant as I was worried she wouldn't have enough experience etc but she was very nice and really thorough. She kept the ultrasound on the whole time and I actually got to see the wee embryo enter my womb which I've never experienced before. Quite a surreal moment! I just have to hope it's still there! xx
Ashastar

IVF June 2014 :BFN: :tear:
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85

Friday, March 2nd 2018, 2:53pm

Ahh Ashastar I’m sure that was lovely to see.... and when you get a wee BFP you can always say you say it right from the start!!

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86

Monday, March 5th 2018, 6:04pm

Hi Ashastar, how are you? I'm now 10 days into my 2 week wait. I'm getting very nervous as my test date approaches. Over the weekend I've convinced myself it's worked, then I'll get a pain and then I'm convinced it's failed. Who knows. Time will tell. Yes, it was a day 5 transfer.

Yes, Dr McManus used the ultrasound for my transfer. It's amazing isn't it when you see that wee flash!

Xxxxxxxxxx

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Monday, March 5th 2018, 7:48pm

Hi JMcK, not long to go for you! You have done well to hold off without testing this long. I will definitely give in earlier if I get that far lol. How are you feeling? Have you had any symptoms? I've still had very little although I vomitted all day yesterday and was very queasy today although I'm pretty sure it's just an ill timed stomach bug as it would be way to early for anything else. Yeah, seeing the flash was amazing! None of the doctors have ever used the ultrasound during transfer for me before so I was fascinated!

Good luck for when you test. I really hope you get good news xxx
Ashastar

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88

Thursday, March 8th 2018, 8:37pm

Hope you are both holding in there JMcK and ashastar.

We have agreed to give it another go, even though I realise the odds aren’t in our favour. Just waiting on my cycle to get back on track so I can get my blood tests done, god knows how much they may have changed in the three years since my fresh cycle. Then hoping to go to a Czech clinic as our finances don’t really allow for treatment here. Don’t know if I am wise, but time will tell.

Really hoping this works out for you girls x

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89

Friday, March 9th 2018, 3:58pm

Hi ladies,

Little orchid, good luck with the next cycle! Some of the clinics abroad seem to get better results so definitely worth a try.

JMcK I have been thinking about you and really hope you got the result you were hoping for.

I'm pretty sure things haven't worked out for me this time unfortunately
Ashastar

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90

Friday, March 9th 2018, 5:34pm

Hi ladies. Great news that you have decided to try again Little Orchid. I have a friend who had 4 unsuccessful cycles in RFC Belfast then on her first cycle in a clinic in Prague had success. Her little girl is now 3. As Ashastar says the clinics abroad seem to have great success rates.
Believe it or not I actually got a positive test on Wednesday!! I can't quite believe it. I was convinced it hadn't worked and hardly slept the night before worrying. I couldn't believe it when I saw those 2 lines appear on the test. We have been trying for 3 and a half years. A laparoscopy, a hysteroscopy, numerous visits to RFC, scans, procedures, injections, nasal sprays, dozens of tablets, 1 failed fresh IVF, 1 failed FET and finally got a positive test.
I know it's very very early days and I've a long way to go. I've had an ectopic pregnancy in the past so I know how things can go wrong. I just hope that everything goes ok for me.


Xxxxxxxxxx

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91

Friday, March 9th 2018, 6:15pm

That's fantastic JMcK. Massive congratulations to you, I'm sure you are over the moon! You really deserve this and I'm delighted to hear some good news xxx
Ashastar

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92

Friday, March 9th 2018, 6:17pm

JMCK, that’s such great news. Sounds like it has been a difficult road to get here- so makes this even more precious. I hope this is your time. Keep us posted how you get on. Very happy for you.

Ashastar- I hope you aren’t right and you get good news in the next few days. Fingers crossed for you.

Take care of yourselves x

Fifs

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93

Friday, March 9th 2018, 6:49pm

Fantastic jmck! Imagine sure the worry never stops, but great to get the two blue lines!
When is your test date ashastar?

CQCQ

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94

Friday, March 9th 2018, 8:39pm

Congratulations JmcK!! Ashastar stay positive time isn’t up yet!! X

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Saturday, March 10th 2018, 10:35am

Tested this morning 2 days early and it's definitely a BFN for me. Very disappointed but know I'm already so lucky to have my little boy. I just wanted this to work as much for him as for me.
Ashastar

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Saturday, March 10th 2018, 11:23am

Ugh ashastar I’m so sorry!! R u in the position to try again? You are very blessed to have a little boy already but I’m sure it dsnt make this any easier.... just give him extra hugs and kisses today just because you can!! Thinking of you!! X

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97

Saturday, March 10th 2018, 12:13pm

Ashastar- sorry that this was the outcome.

I totally know where you are coming from. I too am so grateful for my little girl, but it still hurts.

Hope you are being gentle with yourself and getting lots of tlc.

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Saturday, March 10th 2018, 1:21pm

Thanks girls. Will definitely be having a wee glass or 2 of wine tonight! Unfortunately no option for us to try again. This was our last wee frostie and we couldn't afford another fresh cycle. Even if we could I doubt we'd have any success due to my age x
Ashastar

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99

Saturday, March 10th 2018, 6:08pm

thinking of you ashastar, sorry to read your news xx
sparkle
me 33
IVF march 2018
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100

Saturday, March 10th 2018, 7:16pm

So sorry to hear your outcome Ashastar. Take care of yourself. Xx

Huge congratulations JMcK! Wonderful news!! Hope the rest of your journey goes smoothly xx




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