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  • "2lovelygirls" started this thread

Posts: 2

Reg: Mar 6th 2017

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Monday, March 6th 2017, 11:18pm

7 year old with really low self esteem

Hello Everyone :)

I used to chat on this forum several years ago while I was ttc but have had to create a new login.

I am really struggling with my eldest DD at the moment. I'll give you a bit of background.

When DD1 arrived she was a fiesty, chatty, quite loud at times, fun, confident little girl. She was quite the opposite of me and DH who are both quite quiet and reserved in our nature. DD2 is 3 years younger and is too quite quiet and reserved.

DD1 is now 7 nearly 8 and is wonderful in many ways. She is so friendly and warm towards other people. She is sensible and trustworthy and so helpful when it comes to my job as a childminder. Quite often when we arrive back from school she''ll organise a game with the little ones and I am forever telling her how grateful I am that she is so helpful. On the flip side she cries an awful lot, can be quite competitive/ jealous with her sister, and can be very controlling (tries to be with me, dh and dd2). She finds it hard to stick at tasks and is often of the opinion that she cant do things (of course I tell her she can - DH and I are both quite positive people).

Now this school year in particular I am getting alot of feedback from all her teachers that she has excellent behaviour, tries her best but has really low self esteem :( This makes me so sad :( She does find it difficult separating from me and has only just started going to her best friends house for tea and that took an awful lot of persuasion and I even had to walk her from school with her friend to their house and stop for 10 mins. She worries endlessly about being without me (she's quite often with me because I work from home and my family live a couple of hours away) and I try encouraging her. She will go places and always has a great time but worries herself sick before hand. I am so concerned that her lack of self esteem is going to affect her growing up and I feel scared that it is mine and Dh's nature that have made her feel under valued (e.g what we might perceive as being bossy and corrected her for might not be bossy to others).

How can I help build her up again? Are some kids just born prone to low self - esteem?

I have been busy making a chart for her today called 'DD1s goal chart' and I was going to put it in her room and get her to think of 3 things she'd like to achieve and get her to write these down on posits to put on the chart. Then in a couple of weeks we can revisit the chart and see what she's achieved and if some are still in progress write down what she could do to achieve it for next time. Im not sure if this will work but I read that problem solving/ coping strategies will help improve her self esteem.

Any ideas what we can do to help her?

thank you :)

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