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  • "AllTheGear..." started this thread

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Reg: Jul 25th 2016

Location: Shropshire

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Tuesday, July 26th 2016, 12:58am

Is this all for real?

Hi All,
We are just starting off on this process (journey) and I am feeling lost. It does not quite feel real. I mean who ever plans or thinks about fertility problems, you sort of assume you will have kids one day. Right person, right time, it will just happen, you are sensible, use contraception, don't want any accidents. Then the time comes, you stop using anything and let nature take it's course and then.... nothing. Give it time... still no joy, then well lets see the doc, get things checked out and before you know it tests and hospitals and it all seems very real.

We have been together 9 years now. Married for about 3. We had a scare with a late period in the early days, which was scary but it would not have been the end of the world, just not what we planned. So we got married and thought we would try for a honeymoon baby, well it could happen! But it did not. Then we decided to settle down to married life so started back with contraception for a few months, until we were ready. We used condoms as the Mrs. had to come off the pill a while ago as it caused migraines. We then found the "family home" a nice big 4 bed house, lots of land, nice village with a good school. We move in and get on with things.

Nothing happens. So out of 3 years of marriage we have been waiting for things to happen for about 2 and a half years. We finally decide to see the doctor. We both have different doctors as I have not quite got round to changing mine.

We start with the Mrs. Dr. He tells us to start with my Dr. as it is easy to check out the mans side. Well it made sense. So I go to my Dr. and ask to get my sperm counted. After some resitance and suggesting it should be through the womans Dr. I get reffered. I am not too sure to where or for what.

Anyway I get a letter and a pot in the post with some instructions. I have to change the appointment as it clashes with a holiday we have booked. So the day comes.

I have to "produce" the sample and get it to the hospital in an hour for 8.30 am. Well the hospital is about 45 minutes drive. I am very nervous and embarressed about it all. We have told no one about trying for a baby, despite the obvious comments we get, married got the house etc. I get up early, have a shower, get dressed and ready to leave. All that is left is to "produce" the sample.

The Mrs is stressing and making my stress worse, so I go off the the downstairs toilet, put the seat down and sit on the lid, trying to well get excited. I should say I am a bit on the big side, too big as it turned out. The toilet seat broke beneath me. You could not make it up. Hillarious I am sure to all you reading this but I was mortified at the time. I am under pressure of time here, running late by now. So I scuttle off to the spare room and have to spend a while composing myself, I mean my head was all over the place. Finally I decide that I will jsut get there when I get there and finally get things going again. Just as you are getting somewhere you have the problem of, well getting the sample into the pot, you are a bit busy getting there and then the thoughts of the collection process is a bit of a distraction.

Anyway sample was produced and in the pot. Then I have to get ready and write the time on etc. and head off to the hospital in rush hour traffic. Needless to say I was very late, got lost in the hospital building, end up having to ask for directions at a reception, so stressed I ask the way to the "infertility clinic" and not fertility clinic!

I arrive stressed out, embarressed and confused hoping beyond hope that all the threats in the letter about services being oversubscribed and missed appointments resulting in cancelation of the whole process were not going to extend to being half an hour late. I was prepared to tell the whole story, toilet seat and all, as embarressed as I was I was more scared of the Mrs. if I had messed it up for the both of us.

Anyway they were none too bothered and after a short wait I was called in to dicuss the form and hand over my sample. It went well I suppose in the end. I needed to stop off for some breakfast and to relax before heading off to work.

I will continue our journey and experiences in another post.

But here is a bit about us.
I am early 40's and my wife in ealry 30's, we really want kids, most of our families have kids, we are seriously pissed off with them saying wait 'till you have your own, then it will all be different, or what you messing about for you're not getting any younger, you need to get on with it. The Mrs. is addicted to One Born Every Minute and I keep thinking about how old I will be when, if, we have kids and they are teenagers.

I don't want to jump ahead too much but today has been a big day in the process and I got the first test results back, that is why I am here. I am exploding inside not able to tell anyone what is going on.

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sasha146 (26.07.2016)



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Tuesday, July 26th 2016, 4:48am

Hi and welcome

I hope you like it on here, we have very friendly and supportive members that are sure to make your TTC journey that little bit easier, I hope you feel right at home with us all soon.

Here are some links that you may find useful.

There is an abbreviations section HERE so you know what we're all going on about.

There is an IVF/ICSI section HERE with a FAQ section HERE where you will find a great introduction to IVF/ICSI.

There is a cycle buddies section HERE so you can get to know others having TX at the same time as you.

There is a 2WW section HERE and a 2WW CHAT thread HERE so you can compare every twinge and symptom with everyone else.

There is a clinic feedback & chat section HERE so you can look up your clinic and ask others any questions about it.

There is a ** GETTING STARTED - FZ FACTS, TIPS & HELP ** thread HERE this contains everything you need to know about getting started on FZ. We would appreciate it too if you could take a quick look over our brief terms of the site HERE so you can familiarise yourself with the one or two small rules we have, which help to keep FZ the safe and friendly site it is!

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Wishing you all the luck in the world with your TTC journey

6 x IVF, 3 x FET
3 x MMC, 3 x :BFN:, 1 x failed thaw
Two gorgeous boys.



    United Kingdom

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Reg: Apr 18th 2010

Children: One gorgeous boy

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Tuesday, July 26th 2016, 4:54am

Your post made me smile as it brought back a lot of memories of our early days of investigations. I'm afraid the early days take time, especially if on the NHS and there will be a lot of waiting between appointments.

Infertility is cruel and stupid so it is great that you are approaching it with a sense of humour. Good luck to you and your wife, in my time on this forum I have found that most people get their family in the end, although not always quickly or easily.


6 x IVF, 3 x FET
3 x MMC, 3 x :BFN:, 1 x failed thaw
Two gorgeous boys.



Posts: 1,753

Reg: Aug 13th 2011

Location: Scotland

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Tuesday, July 26th 2016, 8:40am

Hi and welcome.

Your post also made me smile and shed a few tears all at once, such a lovely honest post and reminded me of the start of our journey as well.

I hope your results bring some good news, either way this site is fantastic and there is always someone around to offer help, advice and support.

Good luck

ME 30 DH 37

ICSI Oct 11 :BFP
bab11 July 12
FET Aug 14 BFN
FET Nov 14 BFN
What's next??



    United Kingdom

Posts: 2,792

Reg: Jul 24th 2010

Location: Suffolk

Children: one beautiful daughter at last!

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Tuesday, July 26th 2016, 10:01am

Good luck on your journey as the other girls have said I think your post has taken some of us back to the start of our journeys and my gosh can it be stressful! You seem to have found the humour in it and if you continue in that vain you will do well!!!

Wishing you nothing but the best! X

TTC = 10 yrs +
4th ICSI - Gennet Prague BFP!!!!
:girl: shes arrived!!! 1.6.14

My Diary - Onewish's ICSI journey

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The guest access to this forum was limited. Overall there are 19 Postings in this thread.
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