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  • "ashastar" started this thread

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Tuesday, October 28th 2014, 10:15pm

Working during ivf

Hi ladies,

I was just wondering what everyone's thoughts are on working during treatment. I had my first cycle of ivf during the summer and just took the week off between ec and et. I took this as annual leave as I hadn't told work about the treatment. I went straight back to work after et and didn't take any time off.

I'm now about halfway through my meds for a FET and am still working as normal. My problem is that my job is incredibly busy and stressful and involves long hours and a lot of travelling. During the summer it was less busy and so didn't bother me as much during treatment but at the moment I feel like I can't cope with it. I've actually come home in tears several times in the past week. I know that we are told to pretty much carry on as normal during ivf but at the minute I'm getting myself so worked up that I can't see how it can be having anything other than a negative impact on my treatment. Unfortunately I don't have any holidays left so booking time off isn't an option. As far as I can see the only thing I can do is go off sick but I'm a bit reluctant to do that. Can anyone tell me what their experience of this was? If I go to my gp will they sign me off and if so can my employer penalise me for this in any way? I've asked my manager for a meeting later this week and I'm going to bite the bullet and tell him I'm having treatment in the hope that he will at least lessen my workload a bit for the next couple of weeks. I'd really like to be off at least during the 2ww so try to relax and give me the best possible chance. Would be interested to hear what others have done!

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Tuesday, October 28th 2014, 10:42pm

Ashastar I was something similar too I really didn't want to tell work and had planned on taking this week (ec was on Monday) on hols as I have loads built up and nobody would know anything but unfortunately only 2 ppl can be off on hols at one time and it's a first come first serve basis and while we have a great staff team and ppl do swap with each other depending on who needs it more that would mean I would have to give a reason to someone of y I really need it off. Think the timing didn't help considering its mid term. In the end I was getting myself stressed out over it and thought to myself I am never off sick and my boss can always rely on me when she needs something done as I always get called first to organise for her. I know if I told her what I was doing she would really be supportive but I just don't think it's ppls business. So I told them that I had to have a procedure done on Monday that it was personal because it's a gyne issue and could be off for two weeks. I know there's plenty of talk going on as some of my close friends have told me so in hindsight might be better to come up with something else. Although I went with that as I was talking to another girl who has just announce her pregnancy following ivf 2 time round and she said she didn't take off work first time and that it's the only difference she has made this time she got dr to write her a sick note for 4 weeks and he put on it gyne.
I'm so glad now I have the option of being off as don't think I could face work right now and I don't have to worry about it.
Do what's right for u trust ur instincts don't regret something that u feel u should of done no one will thank u for it!!

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 6:42am

Hi ashtrar I'm in a similar position, I told my boss on my last attempt she was really nice about it but then did ask allot of personal questions as I had more appts and it ended up being another person to explain things too. This cycle I am keeping it quiet and plan to just phone in sick. I'm sure ur gp will sign u off. If u r as stressed as coming home in tears then stay off it can't b helping u
xxx

sasha146

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 6:42am

Hiya

First time round doing icsi I was off for the full treatment process mainly coz I'd had a mini breakdown, not just over treatment but we had a lot of other things on the go as well, for our first fet I only told my boss and knowbody else, I continued with work but unfortunately there were a lot of stressful things going on, they tried to help but I actually think they made things worse, I don't think it was personal they just didn't know how to deal with the issue. This fet was a negative, now I'm not saying I blame work stress but I very much doubt it helped.
So I have one last shot and I've decided nothing is more important than giving it my all, I'm been off sick for a few weeks and plan on staying off until after treatment, my dr is fantastic and has put dibility on my sick line, think it means unwell, it doesn't really go into the ins and outs of it although she knows why I'm off.
Your employer would be incredibly stupid to penalise you for being off sick due to Ivf.

At the end of the day I think you need to do what feels right for you, others may not understand your thought process but that's because there not in your shoes, i def don't think stress helps any of us going through this, but at the end of the day it's a stressful time with added work stress.
Do what you feel is right and take care

X

  • "ashastar" started this thread

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 8:25am

Thanks girls. I feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one in this situation. I think you're all right. This is far more important than work so I think I will have a chat with my boss tomorrow to give him a bit of a heads up then I will go and see my gp next week. I never take time off work and my boss always relies on me to do everything I'm asked. Hopefully he will respect and understand how important this is. Thanks again for your replies. Will let you know how I get on! xx

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 8:33am

Hi ash, I am in exactly the same position as you, I have had a word with my higher boss this week, although not really supportive has said if I am entitled to things I can have it. Do you work for a large firm? I ask because most large firms now have an IVF policy in place, ours is after transfer if you take sick it is taken as pregnancy related and therefore even tho it's recorded as sick your not penalised for it. That said when you never take time off your head and your heart still have a massive bat and ball game over what is right and wrong with having time off, this is because we care and have a conscious. How many people take sick at the drop of a hat and don't bother about the consequences? Having said all that I'm still playing bat and ball at the moment simply because of what I have to tell people why I was off. I think suzies idea is good just to say it's gyne related, that could be anything and then say when you get back I would rather not talk about it. I am going to use that one.

Thanks suzie :thumbsup: it awful why we have to go through all this add pressure to an already pressurised procedure. Good luck with treatment everyone xxx

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Cheree 76" (Oct 29th 2014, 8:36am)


  • "ashastar" started this thread

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 6:13pm

Hi Cheree, yeah I do work for a big company but I've been through my employee handbook and can't find anything about fertility treatment. Even the maternity benefits are pretty rubbish to be honest so I can't see them being the sort of company to give time off for ivf. I guess I never know though unless I ask so will see what my manager has to say tomorrow. It's ridiculous to be feeling guilty about phoning in sick, isn't it? I've been in my job 7 years and have literally only had a few days off sick in all that time. You're right though, there are several people in my office who are constantly off sick and not a word is ever said! I think I will go with the gynae related absence too and hopefully no one will ask many questions. My boss can be a bit of a big mouth though and is always saying stuff to people that he shouldn't be. I've no choice in this though other than to just trust him to shut up for once. Fingers crossed he's in a nice understanding mood tomorrow!! X

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 7:05pm

Ashastar I would stay to your boss if it gets out about treatment it's a breach of confidentiality between you and your boss, that will soon shut him up :)

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  • "ashastar" started this thread

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 8:02pm

Hi sasha, yeah I'll make sure I stress the importance of keeping it quiet to him. I just hate the thought of everyone whispering and gossiping about me! I'm starting to feel really nervous about having to even bring the matter up with him. Not a single other person knows we are having treatment so it's going to be weird talking about it!

sasha146

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 10:24pm

I totally understand we hadn't told anyone either

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Wednesday, October 29th 2014, 11:11pm

Oh hunny, don't mention treatment, just say your going through a gyne issue it's woman's problems so I am going to need time off probably two weeks and I will have a sick note, I just wanted to let you know in advance. If he presses say I'd rather not talk about it, or say I'm having fibroids removed he won't have a clue he's a man lol that way you don't have to worry about people talk about you (I do the same) you will feel in control when talking to him and once it's done you will feel so much more relieved as it's your pass out to concentrate on treatment. Your boss sounds so much like mine, a bloody busy gossip I hate it!!! Good luck with the talk tomorrow xxx

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Saturday, November 22nd 2014, 7:20am

Hi ladies... Probably a little late with this reply but, I have done a lot of research into what I was allowed to do with time off from work during treatment. I also work for a huge company, I've had to tell them everything regarding all six cycles as they have a strict drugs and alcohol policy. They still refuse to put an IVF policy in place!! But legally during tx employees clinic appointments are treated in the same way as other appointments. Usually means you have to try and book in your own time or take half days with proof of appointment blah blah blah.... But the minute you have et until two weeks after a negative test result you are protected by pregnancy laws. So as cheers said you cannot be penalised for taking sick leave. I was signed off for my last treatment. . Dr just wrote IVF on my certificate. I went back to work following my te

Pip

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Saturday, November 22nd 2014, 10:29am

Hibirdii thanks for posting in here congratulations on ur son : D
I'm still in turmoil over it, currently signed off for. A couple weeks but don't know whether to stay off another 3 weeks through to transfer or go back for a couple weeks and go off again,not sure which they will look on the worst
xx

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