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  • "rose2032" started this thread

Posts: 20

Reg: May 3rd 2012

Location: Yorkshire

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Wednesday, September 5th 2012, 3:05pm

Advice Needed Urgently!!!!!


One my first cyle i had a BFP and then unfortunatley a miscarrage in July i was informed by my clinic after being told at the outset that we had 2 attempts that the first attempt was our one and only. My husband took back our sharps bin yesterday and a member of staff asked why they had not seen us, he explained the phone call we had at the end of july about us only being funded for the first try and that we would not get another attempt, the staff member asked if we had been offered councelling or been sent paper work about us appealing. he explained we had not and the staff member was furious and said this would be discussed with the head consultant he had a phone call today saying that they would honor the 2nd attempt

However the dilema is i had resigned myself to that fact that i would not have another cycle of ivf or children of my own and we have applied to foster. Emotionally i feel drained and do not know whether i could go through another cycle my head is all over the place, the catch is we have 48 hours to decided if we should go ahead,

|f anyone can give me any advice as i do not want to tell family and friends, i want an unbiased opinion from other people who have been through cycles and know the rollercoaster of pain and emotion that you feel

Sorry if i have rambled on but i really need some advice!!!

xxxxx Rose xxxxx :S



Posts: 5,839

Reg: Jul 15th 2007

Location: Hampshire

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I now have double the trouble :)

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Wednesday, September 5th 2012, 3:28pm


Firstly, I'm sorry to read about your loss :hugs:

No one can tell you what to do as it is a decision that only you and your DH can make. I personally had a total of six treatments, not all IVF, but it was very hard. It does take over your life and I actually ended up resigning from my job because of stress. It was well worth it in the end though as my daughter is wonderful.

Have you had any counselling at all? I had a very good counsellor who was attached to my clinic and she really helped my husband and I through everything.

If you time limit to accept treatment is short I think I would be tempted to say 'yes'. Is that 48 hours to accept or 48 hours until you can start? If it is the former then you'll have put yourself on the list but you'll have a bit of breathing space until you are ready to cycle. You can always back out, no one can make you go ahead. If you are truly happy with your decision to foster and there are no niggling doubts about trying IVF again then maybe it's not for you, however, if you are always going to wonder 'what if' then perhaps it is worth another shot?

Sorry, probably not the most helpful advice, if it was me I would give it a go, especially if it's on the NHS!!



Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
TTC since 04/06
6 x TX to date, inc 2 DIVF in Barcelona

One early loss, 04/09
Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

Amazing natural :BFP: on 12/02/12
Poppy Ann arrived on 13/10/12 - Born at home weighing 6lb 12oz

We got there in the end! happydance

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Reg: Aug 1st 2009

Location: burton on trent

Children: 4 boys 3 living 1 deceased

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Wednesday, September 5th 2012, 3:36pm

hi rose,

first off, i am sorry to hear about your mc, believe me i knw how it feels.

i cant offer advice as such, but i can give my opinion as to what i would do in your position. if i had the opportunity to go for another round of ivf gratis and i had managed to get pregnant 1st time round, even though it sadly ended in mc i would certainly give it a shot. i know emotionally it is a real rollercoaster ride, but i would have to ask myself could i in a couple of years time feel ok with my decision not to try again? could i live with the fact that id have the opportunity to try again and i didnt take it?

but really i cannot advise 1 way or the other. that has to come from yourself and your husband, what you can or cant live with it.

i wish you every succes with whichever choice you make.

After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done



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Reg: Jul 4th 2011

Location: North West

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Wednesday, September 5th 2012, 3:39pm

Hi Rose, I totally agree with Gracie and jade. I would def say yes and give yourselves some time to decide. We are all different, but I think the greatest stress is not knowing when the roller coaster is going to end. If however you know you are only going to do one more cycle I am sure the process will be easier psychologically. I found the second cycle much easier to handle as I knew what to expect and could plan accordingly. If it were me, I'd go for it. Good luck in whatever decision you make.
IVF 1 - m/c at 5 weeks
IVF 2&3 - BFN
FET1Sept 12- DS born May 13
FET2 Jan15 - mmc at 8 weeks 1 day ;(
IVF 4 Aug 15 - :BFP: woohoo :pray: :heart: seen at 8 and 10 weeks lurve babydust

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Wednesday, September 5th 2012, 4:09pm

I am with the others, say yes to give you time to think about it. There will be a waiting list and as long as you give them plenty of notice if you cancel I don't see the problem. Gracie has offered great advice and I would say the same, if you don't feel like you would look back with "what ifs?" them maybe it isn't for you. Everyone is different.

What is your gut about it all? It really is just a decision you and DH can make, but I would think wisely and carefully because ultimately you have just been given another chance to have a baby! If it were me, I'd grab the opportunity with both hands.

Wishing you good luck with your decision making. Whatever decision you make together WILL be the right one. Let us know how you get on. Xxx

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