Host surrogacy. Has anyone done it ?

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here's hoping!!!

Ace

Posts: 319

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

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Sunday, August 26th 2012, 5:14pm

Host surrogacy. Has anyone done it ?

Hello,

I'm after a little advice & guidance please.

After having my 4th baby last year through IVF (due to previous sterilization) I finally feel that my family is complete (gosh I never thought I would say that!) I have donated my eggs & I'm waiting to do so again next month. However I have been thinking alot about host surrogacy. I feel that this is the next step , I can't explain why? I just have an overwhelming urge to help. I suppose the 7yrs of me longing for baby no4 has left me with a slight inclination of how it feels to not be able to have children. I have been through IVF so I understand how that part all works & the feeling that go with it. I want to share the magic, my family is complete , my body works, I know I can do it.

So where do I go from here? I'm 31, in perfect health & I sail through pregnancy. If anyone has been through surrogacy either as a surrogate or Intended parent, I would really appreciate some advice. I have googled but it's a minefield of information & looks scary. I trust this site & the people here .

Thanks for reading xxx

Proud Mummy of 4 girls & 1 boy. Surrogate mummy & 4x Egg donor

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thejadematthews

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Reg: Aug 1st 2009

Location: burton on trent

Children: 4 boys 3 living 1 deceased

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Sunday, August 26th 2012, 6:22pm

sorry dont know anything about it, but i thought youre post was so lovely i didnt want to read and run.

all i can say is have you thought what impact this would have on your children? how would explain it all. is your partner/dh on board or is it just a thought at the moment.

not trying to put you off, just another angle. i wish you all the love in the world. i think you are a truly amazing woman. i wish someone would make that offer for me, no moderators not asking at all. just saying.

regards

jade
xx

After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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Gracie

MODERATOR

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Reg: Jul 15th 2007

Location: Hampshire

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I now have double the trouble

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Sunday, August 26th 2012, 6:24pm

Wow, that's an amazing thing you are offering to do! I'm afraid I have no idea where you would start to look into doing such a thing though. I guess you need to find out what the legalities are in the UK and if there are any clinics that support surrogacy. Perhaps the HFEA might be able to help or possibly the Donor Conception Network? I am just guessing though I'm afraid.

Are there any surrogacy forums you can have a look on?

:goodluck:

to you!

xxxx

Me - 40 AMH 1.79, DH - 45
TTC since 04/06
6 x TX to date, inc 2 DIVF in Barcelona
One early loss, 04/09
Freya Grace arrived on 6/11/10 - Perfect at 6lb and 1/2 oz

Amazing natural :BFP:

on 12/02/12
Poppy Ann arrived on 13/10/12 - Born at home weighing 6lb 12oz

We got there in the end! happydance

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here's hoping!!!

Ace

Posts: 319

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

Thanks: 3 / 0

Sunday, August 26th 2012, 8:01pm

Thank you for the replies ladies.

After posting I realised it may have come accross a little insensitive to those having treatment. I'm sorry if anyone viewed it that way. I'm just so excited.

I think my role as a foster carer has prepared myself & my family , well as much as it can do. We are used to loving & nuturing little ones fully knowing that 1 day they will leave us either to return home or to go to new adoptive parents. I see surrogacy as an extension of this - I can love & nurture an embie until it is ready to meet it's parents

I love fostering & I'm all for adoption but I also believe that its ok for people to want to be parents to a new baby/ their own biological .The system in this country makes adopting little babies more difficult. Don't get me wrong fostering hasn't made us hard in anyway but we have toughened up a little over the years. We are a very loving family , we are as honest about situations as we can be with our children. Whom I must say are beautiful, loving & empathetic. They knew about my egg donation & my IVF , they even helped with injections & visited the clinic. I would hope to meet a couple with whom we could have an open realtionship & that would become family friends.

I have spoken to my husband & he fully supports me , he did question why I didn't just want a quiet life?! He knows how much I love pregnancy, I'm very lucky that previously I have sailed through them. He knows that although I have donated my eggs , I do not have any emotional feelings towards my recipients baby. I do think about the baby as I will do when I donate again next month but its my recipients baby & any baby I carry for intended parents wouldn't be mine either.

I have researched further today. I'm a little wary of agencies as although I know it costs money I'd hate for anyone to be exploited. It seems though that in the UK this is the way forward. Clinics only get involved once a surrogate & intended parents have come to an arrangement. So I have applied for some information packs. I have also spoken to a lovely lady who has 3 birth children & has had 3 surrogate babies. She has offered to share her experiences with me in more detail but she sounds so positive & proud.

I wish all of you on here lots os love & luck on you journeys. I know some are easier than others, I hope to ease the pain of at least 1 couple at what they must see as their last chance of becoming a family. xxxx

Proud Mummy of 4 girls & 1 boy. Surrogate mummy & 4x Egg donor

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "here's hoping!!!" (Aug 26th 2012, 8:02pm)

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aniandan

Ace

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

Monday, August 27th 2012, 12:14am

Hi again Here's hoping,

Please don't think I am stalking you but I felt I had to post to you here too

You, your hubby & children sound like an amazing family, I hope you get all the info you need from the inspirational lady you have found who has already experienced 3 surrogate babies.....wow!

I wish I could offer the same amazing help to couples struggling but my hubby & myself have been, still are one of those couples!!

Hope you have found more lovely ladies on this type of amazing journey to find out everything you need to continue with your dream to help. I'm sure there re threads on FZ for you.

Lots & lots of luck.

Take care.

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aniandan

Ace

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

Monday, August 27th 2012, 12:24am

I have just read on a thread called Surrogacy- minefield! COTS - childlessness overcome by surrogacy is an agency you may like to look into.

Good luck.

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THE FZ TEAM

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Reg: Oct 19th 2006

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Monday, August 27th 2012, 10:17am

Hi

Have you read our thread here?

SURROGACY

It gives links to some excellent sites and hopefully will give you a good starting point

What you are considering is an incredible gift xx

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Komolafe

Ace

Posts: 837

Reg: Jan 29th 2012

Location: Merseyside

Children: 2 beautiful Angel babies xx

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Monday, August 27th 2012, 10:49pm

Wow, here's hoping! You and your family are just amazing and your empathetic nature that you all share is just wonderful and so refreshing. It is a truly selfless thing that you and your DH want to do, offering a couple the chance of a baby is incredible! You certainly do not come across as insensitive, quite the opposite. You appear to be so calm and content because life has been kind to you and you don't take it for granted, you appear to value everything you have so much. Your family are lucky to have you and each other

I understand what you mean about the minefield of info regarding surrogacy though, I've tried to understand it by researching on the internet and maybe I'm not in the right frame of mind but I just couldnt understand much of it so sadly I think that puts a lot of people off

I recently registered with a company called "Surrogacy UK" and they seem to have a direct email address just for ladies considering becoming a surrogate, so maybe they could give you some basic advice? I can always PM the email contacts if you have any problems finding them cos I'm not sure we are allowed to post email address on the open forum ?o(

Also as COTS is associated with another company called Triangle so maybe check the web for info from them.

I wish you all the luck in the world in fulfilling your dream and in turn possibly fulfilling someone elses dream helping them to become parents. :goodluck:

My Diary

Sep 10-IVF abandoned ?o(

Jun 11:BFP-Premature Twins-too tiny to survive

1 day old

25 days old.Jun 12 :BFP:

mc 6w1d

Oct 12

mc 7w2d

Apr 13

Our wonderful surrogate is carrying our baby!

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thejadematthews

MEMBER

Posts: 1,614

Reg: Aug 1st 2009

Location: burton on trent

Children: 4 boys 3 living 1 deceased

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Tuesday, August 28th 2012, 7:11pm

heres hoping.

i dont think youve been insensitive at all either.

you are such an inspiration. i wish you every success with this and hopefully your intended parents when you actually do this.

bless you

love jade

xxxx

After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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Sweetnatalie

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Thursday, August 30th 2012, 5:02pm

Ladies, a little while back i was looking at surrogacy as we have had quite a few failed IVF treatments and are getting a little disheartened. We have 8 snow babies left but were going to give up when these have gone. Then we though of surrogacy, we looked on line, Saw COTS and Surrogacy UK and had a little read. but at this point didnt want to pay out. I posted on another forum and a lady told me of a private Face book group which i have now joined. It was the BEST thing i have ever done. For me i didnt think there were any surrogates out there and never knew what type of people they were or basically knew nothing about surrogacy at ALL.

Since joining this groupl i have made some amazing friends, and can not believe how many surrogates on there have found matches and are now pregnant. if you want any information please feel free to pm me!

Its a great group full of wonderful people, Surrogates and intended parents alike!

Me 42 DH 43

2 x Natural :BFP:

resulting in M/c
1 x IVF (NHS) :BFP:

Chemical Pregnancy
1 x FET (NHS) :BFN:

Sept 11 (Norway) 2 Embies on board (12 on ice) :BFP:

MC at 5 weeks!!
Jan 2012: FET 1 :BFP:

MC + Ectopic?? at 6 weeks
Jul 2012: FET 2 :BFN:

Sept 2012 FET3 :BFN:

Nov 2012 FET4 :BFP:

- No heart beat at 8 weeks gutted. our Ivf journey is over!!

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here's hoping!!!

Ace

Posts: 319

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

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Saturday, September 29th 2012, 9:23am

Hello

I just thought I would pop back & update my post post.

After Natalie invited me to join the facebook group , I have met an amazing couple. We have been speaking daily & have met in person, my husband & children have met them too & we are now officailly matched. We start our surrogacy journey in early 2013 !!! I'm so happy & can't wait to make their dreams come true.
My family have been amazing & are very supportive of my decision to become a suurogate. It all seems to have happened so quickly but the treatment itself will take time. I did attend an officail agency meet up but the formality made it all alittle uncomfortable.

I will report back when I have more to share xxx

Proud Mummy of 4 girls & 1 boy. Surrogate mummy & 4x Egg donor

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Sweetnatalie

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Saturday, September 29th 2012, 10:09am

Thats amazing news

and i wish you all the luck in the world, you are a truly amazing person!!!! And i cant wait to hear of all your news and follow your journey! x x x

Me 42 DH 43

2 x Natural :BFP:

resulting in M/c
1 x IVF (NHS) :BFP:

Chemical Pregnancy
1 x FET (NHS) :BFN:

Sept 11 (Norway) 2 Embies on board (12 on ice) :BFP:

MC at 5 weeks!!
Jan 2012: FET 1 :BFP:

MC + Ectopic?? at 6 weeks
Jul 2012: FET 2 :BFN:

Sept 2012 FET3 :BFN:

Nov 2012 FET4 :BFP:

- No heart beat at 8 weeks gutted. our Ivf journey is over!!

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Komolafe

Ace

Posts: 837

Reg: Jan 29th 2012

Location: Merseyside

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Sunday, September 30th 2012, 12:01am

Ohh wow, what fab news for all of you. You will be making a couples dream come true, [zx055]

I wish you all the luck in the world :xxx3:

My Diary

Sep 10-IVF abandoned ?o(

Jun 11:BFP-Premature Twins-too tiny to survive

1 day old

25 days old.Jun 12 :BFP:

mc 6w1d

Oct 12

mc 7w2d

Apr 13

Our wonderful surrogate is carrying our baby!

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here's hoping!!!

Ace

Posts: 319

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

Thanks: 3 / 0

Saturday, June 8th 2013, 8:43am

Just a quick update to say that I'm now 5 days post transfer with 2 beautiful 3 day embabies

. Our OTD is the 14th June & this 2ww is a killer! Xxxx

Proud Mummy of 4 girls & 1 boy. Surrogate mummy & 4x Egg donor

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Rachael*

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Children: Two boys & One girl :)

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Keep growing little baby :pray:

Mummy & Daddy love you xx

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Saturday, June 8th 2013, 1:12pm

I know we spoke last night, but im going to wish you luck again & fingers crossed both implant or you never maybe one will divide & your be carrying triplets :yes: