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  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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1

Friday, August 24th 2012, 2:07am

Just got an approval for our Fostering application.....waited nearly 2 years from initial enquiries!!

Hi all

Would love to hear from any one who has been in this position, we got the approval at Panel Tue 21st August & we are now wondering when we should hear from our Supervising Social Worker & how long likely before we are called about a child who needs to stay with us. We are approved to take 1 child aged 5 - 8 with potential ( if I give up my employment) 2 children aged 0-8.

Panel did explain that although we are approved it has to be officially written up with head office and this could take 2 wks. Do we not hear from Supervising Social Worker until after that? We did ask this question to our assessing Social worker who was with us at panel but she didn't seem to know herself! As she put it her job is only to get us thru Panel after that she has nothing more to do with us!

So although we are very pleased with outcome we fell a little lost at the moment.

Thank you for reading.

Take care everyone.

Posts: 315

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

Thanks: 3 / 0

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2

Saturday, August 25th 2012, 9:36am

HI Anita

I foster too. We had our 1st child placed the day after panel but didn't recieve our approval paperwork for about a month! I should also add that 2 weeks later they called & asked us to take another baby, when I questioned if it was ok to have 2 babies in our room they hadn't realised we already had 1 8| I would like to say that this was a 1 off but it wasn't. Fostering will exhaust you & keep you on your toes & thats just working with the adults! No seriously fostering is amazing, it is by far the hardest thing I have ever done but 1 of the most rewrading.

Good luck, give me a shout if you need anything xx
Proud mummy of 4 & surrogate mummy of 1. 4x Egg donor
Baby girl due 31/08/16

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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3

Saturday, August 25th 2012, 4:53pm

Hi here's hoping ( sorry....I don't know your name )

Thank you for sharing with us. Wow! I dread to ask what authority your fostering for In case it's same as ours lol. I can't believe they didn't know you was already caring for a baby when asking to bring a second baby.
My Aunt fostered for many many years and she has said how much they will try and make you do. We have currently been approved only to take 1 child at a time aged between 5 & 8 yrs. do you think we may hear quite soon or could be a while with such a short age category?
We still haven't had a call from our supervising S/w yet, don't even know the name yet. I was thinking we would meet or at least speak with our Supervising S/w prior to been contacted with details of a child who will be placed with us.
We have to purchase fire extinguisher first aid case and also a single bed for our spare room, it currently had a double in but we sold that so there would be more room in the room. We said to our Assessing S/w that we'd wait to find out if approved prior to purchasing and assessing S/w said she agreed we wait to find out first.
We planned to do the purchase of items needed B/h Mon so we had time to give the bedroom walls a fresh coat of paint and put new curtains in tomorrow first. ( my first day off work tomorrow ) now I'm worried we may be called before the room is ready!!
TBH I thought we would of been guided a little better at the end of our Panel meeting, my hubby is thinking we won't be contacted with details of a child needing us till after we have met the S/w too.
I hope this isn't the way things will be going forward with our authority, I have since learnt they not the greatest regards support. Was even adviced from our assessing S/w to reconsider changing to an independent Fostering agency but we had been waiting sooooo long to complete we didn't dare pull out and start over!
All we want to do is help the children who don't get treated they way they deserve to be, yet like you said "the adults" well they don't make it easy do they. Lol
How long have you worked as Foster Carer? Hope you don't mind me asking.

Take care

Posts: 1,217

Reg: Oct 16th 2010

Location: Ayrshire

Children: 2 baby girls in heaven, 1 beautiful boy

What's Up?
Very grateful lady

Thanks: 30 / 71

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4

Saturday, August 25th 2012, 6:30pm

Well done and good luck :thumbsup:
TTC 6yrs

IVF Feb 2009 :BFN:

DE IVF Jan 2010 :BFP: 2 little pink angels in heaven 30/6/10

Shock natural :BFP: 6/3/11 M/C 11/3/11

FET Oct 2010 :BFN:

MY DIARY
WE have been matched our LO will be with us for Christmas bab11

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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5

Sunday, August 26th 2012, 2:30am

Hi Optimistic2,

Thank you so much lovely.

Wishing you so much luck with your adoption journey.

Take care.

Posts: 315

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

Thanks: 3 / 0

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6

Sunday, August 26th 2012, 9:11am

Hi,

Can I ask you you are fostering for? Our LA has just changed all foster carers approval status to 0-18. We have a preffered age of 0-5.

I was a little shocked to get our 1st placement so soon especially as we were not prepared. Like you we needed equipment but didn't know what, 0-5 is a big age range. On the day the little 1 arrived we had to go & purchase, a cot, bedding, car seat, pushchair, milk, nappies & clothes. All of this 3 weeks before Xmas. Luckily we had already prepared for Xmas but it did leave us really short until our 1st allowance was paid a month later. We have learnt now though that this is how things generally work ;) We have learnt that deadlines & time scales mean nothing, SW always run late & that you have to do most things yourself, or keep nagging until they get done for you. I wouldn't change a thing though, I think I thrive on the chaos.

I love working with children, they are amazingly strong & resilient. The little ones we have had have really become part of our family. Some have returned home, some have gone on to adoption but we still have contact with nearly all of them .

We have had some rough times over the last 6yrs & have thought about working with a private agency, the support network is supposed to be much better. However we had a new supervising SW 18 months ago & things have really gotten better. She is amazing, a previous foster carer herself so she knows exactly how we feel. Our 1st SW was not so good & we even though about walking away from fostering all together. Don't be afraid to air your views & opinions. I was for many years & put up with a very poor service my new SW has taught me that we don't work for SS, we work with them. Our opinions & views do matter & should be valued. 1 child previous SW once reffered to foster carers as glorified babysitters 8| Thankfully a recent system shake up has stopped those kind of comments & we do seem to be valued much more.

I wish you lots of luck, you will have lots of fun xxx
Proud mummy of 4 & surrogate mummy of 1. 4x Egg donor
Baby girl due 31/08/16

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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7

Monday, August 27th 2012, 12:02am

Hi Here's Hoping,

First of all let me just say.......WOW! I have just read your post about your overwhelming urge to host surrogacy. You sound like an amazing kind of girl! Even after your 7 yrs trying for baby 4 and having to go through IVF yourself you would still consider this. Donating eggs and Foster Caring too. :thumbsup:

Thank you so much of sharing with me your experience as Foster Carer, it is very helpful to me.
Birmingham City council authority is who we are approved with, still not had any contact btw. It is only 6 days since Panel approved and it's a B.Hol wkend.....didn't think that would affect though. Your new SW sounds amazing fingers crossed for you that SW keeps up his/her good work.

We have made essential purchase today of carbon monoxide alarm, house fire extinguisher, new quilt & pillow, mattress and pillow protectors, new curtain rail. The spare bedroom has been freshly painted today in a lovely (happy.....like sunny day, I hope) shade of happy daze yellow. Tomorrow we need to purchase a bed, quilt covers & curtains to go straight in the room. Then just wait for call I guess. I do have a little dilemma you may be able to help with ( if it's no bother ) should I purchase unisex curtains & quilt covers or should I buy seperate girl sets and boy sets ? I did briefly look today for suitable kids curtain but they all seemed very boy style or girl style not so much unisex. I also was going to only purchase a single bed but am now wondering if we should put in bunk bed or bed with a futon in case we decide I give up work and then I'm allowed 2 children if siblings in spare room or 2 children if 1 is a baby in our own room.

Would love to hear any ones thoughts on my dilemmas as well as yours Here's Hoping as you have much experience already.

Did you have to take a break with Foster Caring when going through IVF tx and pregnancy with baby last year, do they then let you start taking Foster children again as soon as your ready or after a certain amount of time. Do you have to be re assessed before you continue? Oh dear, So many questions......I am sorry.

Thank you so so much for sharing,

Take Care.

Posts: 315

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

Thanks: 3 / 0

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8

Monday, August 27th 2012, 9:21am

Hi Anita,

My name is Krissy,

First our fostering bedroom - gosh I have changed our arrangment in there so many times! We started out with a cot in our room, & bunk beds in the spare room. The bunks then got swapped for a cot & toddler bed, then a cot & single bed. Then back to a toddler bed & single bed. It currently has just 1 single bed for our foster daughter who's 3. However I have a single bed, cot , toddler & a travel cot stored away just in case! I gave the bunk beds away as it is unlikely that we will look after children over 6 for a while. Also as we only have 1 spare room unless we have siblings or 2 children under 3 the new rules state that they need their own rooms.

No rules are set in stone though, if you are needed to accomodate outside of your age range they will ask you. Once a few years ago on the morning we were going on holiday I had a call to take 2 little boys age 2 & 3. I already had 2 age 1 & 2 plus my own 3. I told placements that I was going on holiday in a caravan that very morning , there answer was it's ok you can take them with you! I had them for only 10 days until another placement became available , it was fun but manic! I have also had an emergency call in the middle of night to take 3 children . Again on paperwork I was full, what was even stranger is that I wasn't on the emergency list but all carers previously called refused to take them. After putting our 3 in our bed we then had 3 spare beds & hubby & I slept on the sofa!

I have been asked on many occasions to go above & beyond, it is in my nature to help if I can. However I can see in hindsight that I was taken advantage of, I was the carer that never said no. My SW never offered any advice my new puts her foot down & tells me enough is enough!

So for now I would say stick to your single bed for now as this is best suited to your age range. As for curtains & bedding, I have always had both girls & boys bedding & curtains, they are easily swapped. Once settled I have always purchased their own duvet cover & accessories, it helps with the settling in process & makes the space their own. Cheap coloured picture frames from Ikea can then be filled with their own photo's or pictures if they have any, if not as time goes on you can fill them with happy photo's of time with your family.

I didn't take anytime off from fostering while pregnant, or anytime after. Infact I gave birth & was home in the full swing of things with 2 little ones in placement. I will say though that fostering told me I would have to, but once again needs must & It never happened. I suppose what I'm saying in all of this is that if you want something the rules will stand , if they want something the rules are ignored ;)

I will PM you about my treatment later today if that ok xxxx

Take care & good luck xxx
Proud mummy of 4 & surrogate mummy of 1. 4x Egg donor
Baby girl due 31/08/16

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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9

Tuesday, August 28th 2012, 9:00am

Hi Krissy,

YOur old SW sounded awful, I'm guessing it was the quickest way to gain all the experience you now off though. I'm so glad your new SW is giving you so much more support now.

I have been told if we are lucky enough to have a baby of our own I would have to take a break for 1 year! I asked if we could let a child stay if already in placement with us, because it would be awful if they needed to go to a new family unless it was going to be a permanent family, and I was told only under certain circumstance.

They have alo told us 2 children can only share a room if they are siblings, they never said if they under 3 they could share even if non sibling.....interesting.

Thank you so so much for sharing more of your experience with me, especially with your guide on helping with the chilrens settling in process too, ths is very helpful to me. :)

You can PM anytime Krissy, it is great to hear of you.

Now hopefully this will post because tried yesterday and it said I wasn't allowed :huh:

Must dash, take care.

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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10

Tuesday, August 28th 2012, 9:01am

:thumbsup: It worked!!

Posts: 315

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

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11

Tuesday, August 28th 2012, 1:23pm

Hi Anita

You last post made me giggle!

It's funny you should say that Birmighma said you would need to take time off. I actually called all of the local authorities I could to ask about their regulations. Birmingham said that they didn't make carers take any time off. They were of course allowed to if they so wished. A SW told me that most carers took between 2-4 weeks holiday. As any longer would mean that children would placed elsewhere. Armed with their advice ( they are a neighbouring borough) I used this against my fostering manager who told me I HAD to tale 2 years off!

Mmmm once again I think it depends on who you speak to. I wouldn't take it as gospel. My managaer was adamant that I would have to take 2 yrs off. 1 little left to return home when I was 7 months pregnant (last Sep), I then only had H who is still with me. I was told she would be returned home before I was due at Xmas. That lasted 10 days & I then had news that H would be staying & they then asked me to take a little one for respite for 2 weeks ....she stayed until May!

Hope your bank holiday shopping went well. We braved the Merry Hill center yesterday....such a bad idea!

Take care xxx
Proud mummy of 4 & surrogate mummy of 1. 4x Egg donor
Baby girl due 31/08/16

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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12

Tuesday, August 28th 2012, 7:13pm

Hi Krissy,

I am beginning to learn that I will have to find things out for myself like you have had to do. It was our Assessing Sw who told us not actually anyone from Birmingham Fostering. She seemed to know what she was talking about and I believed her. I was surprised with how many mistakes there was in our form F as its called a multitude of errors.

Shopping went well we decided to buy DS a loft type bed for his room so he has desk & chair underneath plus chair/bed for his mates who currently have to kip on air beds. Still not got curtains for Foster children's room but got set of girl & a set for a boy quilts & bed sheets plenty of them too. Ds single bed will go in Foster room when the new loft bed is delivered Saturday, my Mom in law is also donating a set of bunk beds to us to collect Saturday too. They can be stored for the use if siblings come to stay with us. We then had a lovely dinner in a pub on our way home.....yum & no cleaning up.....bonus : D


I did try and reply to your pm but again it said I want allowed ??? Very strange it said I wasn't allowed to open my own pm's and one point ! Is it just me or is this happening to anyone else :?:


You will get a reply eventually, when it allows me. ;)


Take care.

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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13

Tuesday, August 28th 2012, 7:13pm

Glad that one worked!! :snigger:

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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14

Monday, October 15th 2012, 10:47pm

Hi all,

All my panic buying was most definitely unnecessary. We will be 8 wks post panel approval tomorrow & still waiting for a placement. Only actually met our link social worker last Monday.....she had been off sick with broken ankle and her boss had come out to see us to do our set up meeting 2 wks prior and told me when our names would go live as available.

Our link worker has confirmed our approval is for children age 5 - 7 explaining that foster children have to be 3 yrs younger than my birth son. At our panel meeting we were told we were approved for children aged 5 - 8 and the foster children have to be 2 yrs younger than my birth son ??? I have had my link worker look into this and she confirmed it has to be 5 - 7 :(

I understand our age range is very small but my link worker said she thought we would only wait a further few days to a wk but it will be 2 wks this Wednesday since our names went live as available. As I drive and don't tend to start work till 9.30 at earliest on a school day I'm not too restricted on getting to foster child's school if its not to close to home, in fact since reducing my hrs at work for Fostering I tend to not start till 10.30am so that gives me plenty of time getting from birth sons school to Foster child's school then to work.

Any thoughts very welcome.

Take care & good luck everyone.

Posts: 6

Reg: Dec 26th 2012

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Wednesday, December 26th 2012, 11:56pm

adopting in UK then taking child to Australia

Hi, not sure if this is the best place to post - finding the search button to be a little difficult/sloppy. I called the SW as I want to adopt and they wanted to know my inside leg measurement and all I had were some general questions, I wanted to have an informal chat - not fill out a form to get some preliminary answers, I asked het to stop her form filling and just gave her my general circumstances and asked her to guide me about what is or isn't acceptable - this is my first contact call to Social Services, she said she would have to speak to a supervisor and get back to me - that was 3 weeks ago and they have not bothered to call me. I assume that I will have a painful journey - the system sounds very disorganised. Reading your experiences with SW is frightening.

Can anyone help guide me?

I usually live in Australia (I am British) but am here looking after a sick parent. I have been back for a year now and will be here for another 12 months. There aren;t any children to adopt in Australia - the websites pretty much tell you not to bother registering. So can I adopt here and then take the child back to Aus? Should I do it as a single person or with my partner - who, due to his business has returned to Aus. Or is the fact I want to take a child or three back to an amazing country a big no no for the social workers?

Would welcome some advice as no one from the adoption agencies seem to want to bother talking to me.

We have tried IVF as it litterally is a simpler process to adoption in Australia - as mad as that sounds - I wish it wasn't like that. Or you can spend 40k trying to adopt from Russia when that would be 8 rounds of IVF - it maddens me that it is so hard to adopt a child that needs a loving home, when we have so much to offer a child.

Any advice?

Thanks,




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