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Curlytails

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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 5:17pm

NEW PARENT CHAT THREAD

A new thread for Mums (and dads) to share any concerns/experiences in the early days of parenthood.

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Curlytails

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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 5:22pm

I thought I'd start this off as I really benefitted from the support of the first, second and third tri chat and thought it would be great to have a chat thread for the early days when there are so many questions that you want to ask.

Hopefully some more experienced Mums will drop by too!

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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 5:34pm

Hi, what a great idea CT :)
I've felt a bit in limbo since zachary was born haven't been sure where to post!!
It will be nice to chat with other new mums :)
Hope you and little Isaac are doing ok xx
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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 5:42pm

Thanks Cheenab. We're good but today DH had to go to work and it suddenly hit me that we are parents and it is going to be me and DS at home alone every day. He is getting better at sleeping during the day but every time I went to do something like put the washing out he started crying!! Hopefully it'll get better with time!

We've got the HV over tomorrow and I hope I get on better with her than last time. I've got a few concerns about my stitches and the amount of pain I have down below but I think I'm going to wait until I see the MW on Fri and speak to her about it.

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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 6:08pm

Good idea CT. I think the Daily Routines thread was started when a few of us had LO's that were between 7 & 12 wees old, and we're still going strong now!
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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 6:52pm

Bless ya, it is a bit of a shock to the system when they go back to work ay!!
All my conversations at that moment consist of me talking baby jargon to Z!! Everyone is just so busy and you forget life goes on around you!! My sister is back to work after her mat leave next month, I will be on my lonesome then!! Been looking into local groups to get out and about more!!
I have the same problem with Z, when I leave the room he cries but since yesterday ive been snuggling a little blanket up to him and it seems to be helping, I think he just needed a bit of comfort!!
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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 7:11pm

Thank you, thank you, thank you, I love this thread. Dh went back to work this week too and I havent left the house in 2 days :snigger:
Got hv tomorrow too, see how much Lily weighs now.
CT, hope your pain gets better soon xxx
Cheenab, personal question but are you still bleeding after c section? Mine doesnt seem to want to stop and my scar has been really aching the last two days xxx
Lily born 30/04/12
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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 7:14pm

I am still bleeding as well, it's actually doing my head in keeps stopping and starting!!
I've got my 6wk check next Friday so going to mention it then, also keep getting alot of pain from my back!!
Have you still got the 'numbing' feeling on your belly? It feels so weird and some people keep saying to me it never goes away!!!
Good luck for Lily's weigh in tomorrow, we've got our next one on Friday, bet my little chunk is over 10lb now!! :P x
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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 7:58pm

C, definitely speak to your MW and get your stitches checked. x






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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 9:09pm

Great idea to start this thread CT. I'll be hanging around in the back ground until my LO arrives! When I had DS i found that everyone disappeared after the third tri chat and it would have been nice to chat to people at a similar stage.

I remember feeling such a sense of acheivement when DH went back to work as I had looked after our baby all day on my own!!!! Before having DS I had never looked after a baby before so it was abig thing! x


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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 9:45pm

Cheenab, yeah I still feel numb and bruised in some places :-( Just when I think my bleeding is stopping it starts again. Lily should hopefully be over 6lb tomorrow, seems like it will be ages before she's 10lb :snigger:
Jasper, not long for you now :smile:

Is anyone having trouble with their lo's sleeping at night? Lily is doing ok until her feed around 3 or 4am and will then grunt and groan until her next feed xxx
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Tuesday, May 29th 2012, 10:41pm

Hi ladies

Cheenab - I had a fair bit of back pain after DD2 was born, it took a few months for it to get better but did improve with time for me. I think its to do with the amount of weight we carry at the front when pregnant and then it changing suddenly it takes you body a little while to adjust, having said that I didn't get it with DD1 but I may have carried her differently.

Kat - When DD2 was little she used to wake up at 3 or 4am and then be hard to settle, it was also this time of year with the light mornings and you could bet that within 15 minutes of us getting up she'd be fast asleep :rolleyes:

CT - I had stitches with DD1 they were sore for a couple of weeks and went through stages where they seemed to irritate me more, one of the MW's gave me some instagel (sp) it cools it down and takes the edge of it a bit. Flic is right it still worth mentioning it to your MW.

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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 3:04am

Hi Girls
Congrats on being new mummies : D
CT I was in terrible pain also with my stitches esp when I sat down but turns out I had a pile also :S from the labour. Is it possible you could have one also? Thankfully it went away with creams after a few weeks but boy was it painful :pinch:
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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 5:50am

Great thread Curly :)

I remember being petrified when dh had to go back to work, but then it wasn't as hard as I'd thought. I read a book my friend gave about the first 3 months of new baby's life being like a fourth trimester. Your baby has been snuggled up inside you for 9 months, so when they come out they just need that closeness still while they gradually adjust. Have you tried putting him in a sling and wearing him whilst you get some jobs done?

Hope you have a better meeting with your HV honey.

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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 9:21am

Wow thank you all for your advice grouphug. There are so many strange things going on with your body after giving birth you just don't know what is and what isn't normal!

I thought Isac had piles yesterday as his bottom looked really red. Luckily my sister was over and reassured me that it was just a little sore before I went rushing to the doctor with him :snigger:

Kat we seem to have a wake up at 3am too and it does take a while to settle him again, I think it is because it is so light like Polly says.

HV today and I'm hoping she is better than last time. Or that she is off sick and I get someone else rotf

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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 10:03am

For sore bums, Bepanthen. Its AMAZING. Far better than sudocrem. Its breathable and doesn't clog up bum pores! And we've never had nappy rash whilst using it, and whenever weve had a hint or soreness on it goes and it clears up!






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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 12:54pm

I second the bapanthem! And when really bad from teething, a yellow cream beginning with M is even better (i shall find out the name!). I hope you are taking it easy Curly wurls?? You must;t over do it hun - you have only recently given birth, so take things slow and chill with your little man Isaac. blowkiss


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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 6:12pm

Hey

Great thread Curly!

Just to answer a couple of things - my bleeding lasted for about seven weeks, you feel like it's never going to stop but it does eventually, you do get through that annoying stop/start stage, it's so tedious apart from anything else!

I've got an old scar down my middle from over 20 years ago and it's still numb so try not to worry about that Cheenab, I think they must destroy nerves when they slice you!

The other thing I would say is try and go out every day, even if it's just for a walk around the block - it will save your sanity! Even now I go mad if I have to spend more than an afternoon in doors with Freya. Coffee shops are your friend :snigger: (I should have shares in Neros)

Congratulations to all you new Mummies and enjoy!

xxxx






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Wednesday, May 30th 2012, 11:04pm

CT, is Isaac's bum any better today? When Lily had nappy rash in SCBU they gave me Metanium and it worked wonders. A tiny bit goes a long way xxx
Lily was weighed today and is now 6lb 9oz and one month old :) it still doesnt seem real to me xxx
Lily born 30/04/12
6 weeks early via c section


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This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "kat13" (May 30th 2012, 11:04pm)


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Thursday, May 31st 2012, 7:41am

That's it! What Kat said! It's called Metanium! Is brilliant!


goodgreen

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Thursday, May 31st 2012, 5:35pm

I tried sudocream and it is rubbish!!! Have got a little sample pot of bepanthen, will see what thats like instead!!!
Got the HV coming tomorrow, wonder how much our little chunk weighs!!! :P

The past couple of days ive had a really hard time settling Z in the day, at night time he goes down fine but in the day he wont settle without me rocking him to sleep!!! Have gave him a little blanket to snuggle up to which is helping a bit, ive tried him with a dummy(as much as i really was against it at first!!!) he really doesnt seem to like it anyway!!!
I dont no what else to try, i really dont want him to get used to me rocking him as obviously hes got to learn to settle himself!!!
Any advise ladies??? xx
FET August 2011-1 Blastocyst onboard :BFP:
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Shock natural BFP 15/3/15 :faint:
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Thursday, May 31st 2012, 5:58pm

Cheenab, bepanthen is amazing! Re the self settling, your LO is still very young. My LO was in bed with me for about 7 or 8 weeks because she wouldn't sleep in a Moses basket. After then I moved the cot into our room and put her in a sleeping bag and we were away! She self settles amazingly now. Goes to bed on time and goes to sleep! So or now I really wouldn't worry about self settling. Also the other best advice I got was to just go with the flow. If LO wants to sleep let them sleep, if they want to feed then feed! That way try settle into their own little routine!






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Thursday, May 31st 2012, 6:34pm

I'm so pleased you've said that Flic as DS just wont sleep in his crib at night. He has been in with me and we both have a lovely nights sleep as he barely disturbs me other than to feed. I've been worrying that I'll never get him to settle but if you let DD in your bed for 7 weeks then I'm going to relax.

I've got the MW tomorrow so will show her my stitches. I think they are starting to feel better but I'd still like to get checked out. This is probably tmi but it still stings when I pee and I'm not sure if that is normal or not but I'll ask.

Hope your HV visit goes well Cheenab

x

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Thursday, May 31st 2012, 11:11pm

Neither of my girls would settle in the crib for long either, they both ended up with us.

Definitely get your stitches checked out CT, I'm pretty sure mine were starting to feel much better by then.

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Thursday, May 31st 2012, 11:52pm

Yeah, I think after that 8 weeks I seem to remember that she'd started to try take over the bed which is why we put her in a cot in a Gro bag cos she couldn't take it off or anything and would stay warm and cosy. And as soon as it went on and in the cot with all the room she carried on having good sleep! Do not worry about not settling and this young age. I think with the cot, because she could see me through the bars that helped too, and I always made sure she could see my face.

Oh, and definitely get the stitches checked out.






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Friday, June 1st 2012, 6:35am

I totally agree :D
Ben wouldnt sleep in the Moses basket either. They are so tiny and have been all snuggled up with you for months inside, so expecting them to just lie there on their own for long periods seems quite unnatural. That comfort, security and warmth they get from being with you is really important too.

If it feels right, do it. I got bogged down with all the books and what people say about skeep training and none of it worked for Ben anyway! Going with the flow and following your baby is the best way. Trust your instincts and you and Isaac will be fine :D

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April 09-IVF-BFN :sadface:
Oct 09-ICSI - BFP :happy: - Little boy born on 14/07/10
June 12-ICSI - BFN :sadface:
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April 13 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Aug 13 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
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Greeny's trying for another little froggie diary!

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "biggreeneyes" (Jun 1st 2012, 7:20pm)


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Friday, June 1st 2012, 5:19pm

Greeny is absolutely right about trusting your instincts. Remember that no-one else will know your baby better than you, and that goes for other mums, HVs, MWs, Docs etc etc. And also remember that it is you who has to live with the consequences of your decisions, 24/7, so if you find that a dummy, or having LO in bed with you at night-time, or whatever, works for you and makes your life easier, then don't worry about what anyone else says. Something is only a problem if it's a problem for you, personally - if your in-laws or the HV says something's a problem but you don't find it so, then don't be undermined by them! Having a baby / small child is very much about picking your battles!

CT, yes, your stitches should be feeling better by now, I would have thought. It's definitely the right thing to do, to ask your mw. In the meantime, remember not to sit flat on your bum as that just puts unnecessary pressure on them - try sitting on one hip, with your legs up beside you, if that makes sense, and lie down whenever you can! Oh, and tea tree oil in a bath is a very good way of relaxing and helping the healing process!

As for settling in moses baskets, it is tricky and like BGE says, why on earth would a new baby want to spend time in one when they are used to being cuddled up inside/with you. My mw suggested a flannelette cot sheet so baby is lying on something nice and snuggly and that worked for us but having LO in bed is fine too as long as you follow the co-sleeping rules of course, and it makes for easier night feeds!

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Friday, June 1st 2012, 5:48pm

Well I saw the MW today and the stitches are fine but I have a water infection. I've been prescribed antibiotics and should start to feel much better soon.

I went to collect my final Bounty pack from Boots today and they said they haven't had them for months. Have you managed to collect yours Kat or Cheenab? I also collected the Emmas Diary one and it was RUBBISH!!! All leaflets and no freebies rotf

Any plans for the Jubilee weekend?

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Friday, June 1st 2012, 6:34pm

Can you get your Bounty pack from a Sainsburys? They have an extra voucher in for money of their clothing range!

When I was feeding DS I would take the mattress out of the basket and lie on it myself so that it was warm for him and also had my smell! Could be worth a try.


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cheenab

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Friday, June 1st 2012, 6:39pm

Yeah I got mine from SuperDrug, it wasn't very good to be fair!! I also got the Emma's diary one and totally agree that's rubbish!!!
xx
FET August 2011-1 Blastocyst onboard :BFP:
Zachary William born on 27/4/12 at 10.12am weighing 6lb 12oz
Shock natural BFP 15/3/15 :faint:
Finley Thomas born on 5/11/15 at 9.39am 7lb 14oz
Another shock natural BFP 6/8/16
Teddy George born on 30/3/17 at 4.34pm 7lb 9oz






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Friday, June 1st 2012, 7:28pm

I found the jersey cotton (like flannelette) sheets best too. less rustily and more cosy.

Jasper good idea about lying on the mattress! I'm going to keep that tip in my head in case i get lucky soon!

Curly - sorry to hear you have a urine infection, but glad you now have meds for it - should be feeling better in no time :)

I think my bounty pack was pretty naff too tbh :snigger:


goodgreen

April 09-IVF-BFN :sadface:
Oct 09-ICSI - BFP :happy: - Little boy born on 14/07/10
June 12-ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Oct 12 - ICSI - BFP - followed by mm/c (blighted ovum) :sadface:
April 13 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
Aug 13 - ICSI - BFN :sadface:
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Friday, June 1st 2012, 9:09pm

Great thread Curly! Great post from Kitty - DITTO everything she said! Trust your own instincts. A friend of mine told me to throw away all my books and start reading my baby and that was the best bit of advice anyone ever gave me.

Just wanted to add that N would sleep in her moses basket, but only if she was swaddled tightly and with her arms out! They all have their little likes and dislikes even from the very beginning!

Try not to worry and enjoy those first precious weeks and months because they go SO quickly. My baby is 9 and half months already and I feel like I gave birth just yesterday.

Also, make sure to take lots of photographs of their little feet and hands because those grow quickly too!! Such a special time - I want another! xxxx

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Saturday, June 2nd 2012, 2:58am

Hi
Boots have great offers if you join their parenting club online. I got a free changing bag with goodies inside, a cow and gate starter weaning kit and even now I'm getting some great money off vouchers.
Casey hated his moses basket and slept in his pram carrycot instead. He just loved that and hated being swaddled!! It's funny how babies are so different and so sure about what they like and dislike lol.
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Saturday, June 2nd 2012, 7:33am

It's so true! Babies are born with a huge personality and are so individual. The little things you notice now about your LO now, will still be noticeable when they're 1 or 2! It's amazing what little people they are already :D so special.

I am hankering after a cuddle with young Isaac :) I saw an 8 day old baby at a toddler class the other day. He weighed the same as DS did at birth and I could not imagine that he had ever ever been that tiny ::P

My DS could get out of his swaddle and hated it! Always been strong minded and known what he wants :snigger:


goodgreen

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Saturday, June 2nd 2012, 7:50am

Just wanted to pop by and say congratulations to all you new mums. I can guarantee this will be a great thread for you all as I started one similar last year when I was trying to figure out what my LO wanted and I wanted to see what other new mums were doing. Those first few weeks are very hard (well 12 weeks in my case LOL!), especially if it's your first as it is a massive shock to the system and you're trying to understand this tiny little thing who means the absolute world to you.

It's great to share tips and get advice with other new mums. I use to think people got fed up of me cos all I wanted to talk about was my son so it was nice to know that there are people on here who know exactly what you're going through and happy to listen.

If I have any valuable advice or tips I will definitely share it. Oh and I agree with trusting your instincts over any book. You will know your baby better than anyone but I do admit that books are good for referring to now and then. I particularly liked The Baby Whisperer book as she talks about the different signs to look out for when your baby is tired etc. I definitely missed my son's tired signs when he was younger and he became overtired and screamed.

I totally agree with what Kitty says too about knowing your own baby and that sometimes you have to ignore advice from other people because you will know what is best for your baby. I use to get annoyed by grandparents telling me 'in their day they did this' and I had to learn to bite my tongue a few times. I know they mean well and at first I welcomed their advice but now I find it a bit patronising LOL!


Anyway, just wanted to say hi and enjoy the jubilee weekend.

:xxx3:
An almost 4 year old son and a 21 month old daughter :)

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Monday, June 4th 2012, 6:34pm

My little man has baby acne and has a spotty face :sadface:. It's only mild and will hopefully clear soon but I've read that spotty babies are more likely to be spotty teenagers. Do/did your LO's suffer from it?

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Monday, June 4th 2012, 6:58pm

DS didn't have that but I thought it was common for baby's to have spots on face. Like milk spots?

Hope it clears up soon tho so you can stop worrying Hun :hugs:


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Monday, June 4th 2012, 7:25pm

Curlytails, Lily gets a spotty face, mostly around her chin and neck. Looks worse when I wash her face, they came up when she started being sicky. Think its quite common for babies to get spots. When you say your lo sleeps with you do you put him inbetween you and dh? Its something im considering to get a few hours sleep. Xxx
Hope everyones had a great weekend, we took Lily to Colchester zoo today :) xxx
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Monday, June 4th 2012, 9:49pm

CT, I'm not an expert but I think Isaac is still so new he's not really what you could call a 'spotty baby', his skin is just adjusting to the world outside you and I have to say chances are he'll go through a few flaky / spotty periods before it all settles down. I remember it seems to last forever but one day, in a few weeks, you'll suddenly realise his spots have gone. Try not to worry, and just be patient, I'm sure it will sort itself out.

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Monday, June 4th 2012, 10:01pm

Kat as you know my little one has always been a bad sleeper, in the early days waking every 2 hours.. A few things which helped me get a little more sleep was , firstly swaddling him but with his arms out, also rolling a small towel and lying it in his Moses basket and using it to support Jayden on his side, this really helped and finally I set a rule tht once he woke any time after 5am I'd put him in be with us, this is then when he'd sleep the longest sometimes till 9:30am! I'd put a pillow next to bedside table so he couldn't fall anywhere and I'd lay on the otherwise as I knew I wouldn't roll onto him . DH on the other hand sleeps to deep and is heavier so didn't want to risk it. Hope this helps x

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Monday, June 4th 2012, 10:38pm

Hi ladies,
hope your all well?
Ct- Hope little Isaacs face clears up soon, Zachary occasionally gets a few spots but they clear up quite quick!!!
Kat- We sometimes have Zachary in with us when he wakes first thing in the morning, i just put pillows around him so he cant roll and we cant roll on him either!! I think your just more aware that there anyway so im sure nothing would happen!!!

Got a quick question, just wondering if anyone else has felt or feels like this.....
There seriously must be a baby boom in my area, everywhere i look i see pregnant people... And it makes me feel a bit sad :(
I think i feel like that wont ever be me again!!! Why would i thinking like that already?!?!!
Dp's sister is PG, and i saw her for the 1st time in a little while yesterday and she's getting big now and i felt a bit teary!! Is this normal?!?!!
Has anyone else felt like this??
I'm absolutely fine with babies, it's just baby bumps that seem to be tugging at my heart strings :(

Please tell me i'm not going mad!!!! :P
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Monday, June 4th 2012, 11:02pm

Cheenab, I get similar feelings when I see bumps, firstly I get a bit sad that I never got to the stage that my bump was huge coz Lily was 6 weeks early (although I cant complain coz lily is here and healthy) and secondly that its extremly unlikely i'll ever be pregnant again and have the labour I had my heart set on. xxx
Thanks Lisa, will try your ideas and hopefully lily will settle at night xxx
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Monday, June 4th 2012, 11:11pm


I'm absolutely fine with babies, it's just baby bumps that seem to be tugging at my heart strings :(


I felt like that too, it really shocked me how broody I was so soon after having DD1 and I continued to rub my empty rather saggy belly for about 3 weeks after she was born.

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Monday, June 4th 2012, 11:31pm

Soooo glad im not the only one!!!
Was starting to feel like i was being extremely ungrateful for what i have!! although he means the world to me and everytime i look at him im extremely grateful :D
I think like you Kat i feel a bit cheated, as i didnt get to experience the labour part!!! I think for me, the actual giving birth bit would have been closure for the pregnancy after experiencing all the aches and pains etc!!! But instead i got handed this gorgeous precious little being after not working very hard to get him out!!!!! :P
xx
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Shock natural BFP 15/3/15 :faint:
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Another shock natural BFP 6/8/16
Teddy George born on 30/3/17 at 4.34pm 7lb 9oz






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Wednesday, June 6th 2012, 12:25pm

Kat I think the others have answered this already but I put DS at the side of me not inbetween me and DH in bed as he just isn't as aware of him when he is asleep. We have managed to get him to sleep in his crib for a few hours each night now but he still spends the majority of time in with us.

Yesterday I learned that nothing bad will happen if I don't rush to him as soon as he cries. We had a really bad morning where he just wanted to feed and wouldn't settle, and in the end I popped him in his cot and walked out of the room because a) I was close to tears and b) I was bursting for the loo! It was only for 5 minutes but it was enough for me to get my head together. He didn't cry for too long and we had a lovely cuddle afterwards.

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Thursday, June 7th 2012, 12:05pm

When my LO arrives can you remind me thats its OK to let them cry! It is something I really struggled with last time and I know that this time realistically there are going to be times when I will have to do that as I have DS to look after too.


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Thursday, June 7th 2012, 12:33pm

Jasper I did too. In fact I still do!


goodgreen

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Thursday, June 7th 2012, 2:23pm

I still struggle with leaving Z to cry, i am getting a little better!! But i just feel so bad listening to him :(
Anyone that has dogs, any tips on getting baby to settle with dogs barking?? My dogs tend to bark whenever some one walks past the house, we have a business outside the back of our house where lorrys come and go, so they bark at them also.. then just generally when people knock at the door or the postman comes!!!! Sooo they bark quite a bit!!! rotf
It didnt bother him at first when he was younger, but now i think he is more aware of the noise!! And they always seem to do it just as he drifts off!! :( so then he wakes up screaming and is really hard to settle back to sleep!!
Our house is split level so i cant even put him in another room to sleep, else that means him being on a different floor to me!! Im not sure how comfortable i feel about that at the moment, but it may be the only way he can get a decent kip?!! Any suggestions?? xx
FET August 2011-1 Blastocyst onboard :BFP:
Zachary William born on 27/4/12 at 10.12am weighing 6lb 12oz
Shock natural BFP 15/3/15 :faint:
Finley Thomas born on 5/11/15 at 9.39am 7lb 14oz
Another shock natural BFP 6/8/16
Teddy George born on 30/3/17 at 4.34pm 7lb 9oz






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Thursday, June 7th 2012, 5:53pm

Cheenab, I think your LO will get used to the dogs barking. My DS didn't use to bat an eyelid when my dog barked in the end. I would try not to worry as its early days.

And don't worry about going to your baby when they cry straight away. It's our most natural instinct as mothers and our baby relies on us to go to them as they can't do anything for themselves. They are still getting used to being out in this world after months of being safely snuggled up inside us : D


goodgreen

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Thursday, June 7th 2012, 6:41pm

ive had all my babies in bed with me. my 23 mth old still sleeps with me. my 4 yr old creeps in at about 2 am and finishes his sleep in my bed next to his brother. when youngest was little I used to have him in the middle over the duvet with his own special blanket. if my dh got in the bed, even in my sleep I knew when my dh was turnin over & id scoop the baby away just in time. men are useless at being aware in their sleep. I have never rolled on my babies, never will. mums are very aware, no matter how exhausted. when they were really little, they used to sleep face down on my chest.very easy to get milk, without disturbin mum much, oe nestled in the crook of my arm, nipple not too far away. hence 1 boob bigger than the other, but thats another story.
funny enough, when my 4 yr old gets in next to my youngest, he dont roll on lo either. they wake up most mornings wrapped around each other.

as my youngest has got older ive pushed my bed yp against the wall, but he now can climb off it anyway.

enjoy your babies

xxxxxx :thumbsup:
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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