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  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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1

Sunday, May 20th 2012, 10:53pm

Filling in our section of medical reports - how much should I include?

Hello everyone.

We are near the end of assessment process before standing before panel for decision. Finally we have received forms to complete medical reports required.
The section of report that we need to complete ourselves has asked if I've ever had emotional or mental health problems including stress depression anxiety and if I've ever needed to see a counsellor psychiatric nurse or therapist in relation to mental health.
8 yrs ago I became emotionally and physically exhausted following a M/M/Carriage at 12 wks. This also happened after only 18mths of the birth of my son after over 5 yrs of ttc, also my 14 yr relationship was in a terrible state as my now x became unbearably physically and emotionally abusive towards me. I was working very long hrs to provide for our son whilst his Father was blowing all his wages on himself while awake all night with our son who for the first yr of his life had been in and out of hospital and was constantly been sick it turned out thankfully to be reflux but because of this my son was always hungry and I breast fed him for the first 12 months so it was every couple of hrs day and night then him been sick till next feed very very difficult at the time. As he was breast fed and I worked in walking distance of home I had to run home on all my breaks to breast feed as his Dad isn't have the patience to bottle feed breast milk.
Eventually I could take no more and was medically diagnosed with post natel depression sent for counselling with psychiatric nurse because I was refusing to be put on anti depressants . I believe that it wasn't just post natel but a bit of everything during the 18 mth period that caused the depression. I did eventually agree to the anti depressants with gentle advice to do so from psychiatric nurse.
A few months later I plucked up courage to leave my home to get away from ongoing abuse from my sons Father and began to rebuild my confidence and life and therefore build a much better home environment for our son too.
Twelve months later I stopped taking anti depressants I'd met a wonderful man and life was far from the exhausted no confidence person I had become.
7 years on I've never looked back and never felt the way I did 8 years ago.
Now I'm afraid that putting this info on my medical may stop us from continuing to panel although we have passed everything so far and home assessing social worker also says everything is going great so far. Over next 2 weeks our social worker is carrying out interviews with all our referees and gathering final info about my relationship with hubby and my son before completing our portfolio as such. I need to be honest but afraid it will put a stop to application, this would be so unfair on my hubby who very much wants to foster care also.
How many years back do we need to disclose and when our GP completes his section will he go back as far as 7-8 years?
I would like to point out I have told my home assessing social worker everything about difficult relationship with my X but not mentioned my M/m/carriage or post natel depression.

So sorry to go on & on here but needed to put you in my shoes as much as possible .

Thank you all so much, take care & good luck with what ever you are trying to achieve.

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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2

Sunday, May 20th 2012, 11:30pm

Me again,

Would love your opinion on this .

Really appreciate u reading my very very long post........sorry!

Huge thanks to u all. ;)

Take care.

Sharon80

Newbie

Posts: 5

Reg: Jun 18th 2012

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3

Monday, June 18th 2012, 9:44pm

I am an adoption social worker (who ironically is struggling to conceive) and I would advise you to fill the form in with anything. An episode of stress or depression following something like a miscarriage will not be a negative, you can show how you've over come this really difficult time so that you could make a decision to adopt.

I hope this is helpful. Good luck a panel!

Lynsey

MEMBER

Posts: 4,474

Reg: Dec 3rd 2008

Location: Cambridge

Children: Adopted Son @ 10.5mths old Feb 2014 xx

What's Up?
FINALLY I am a MUMMY!!!!

Thanks: 226 / 196

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4

Tuesday, June 19th 2012, 11:00pm

Hi I had a meeting with my sw today, but already been honest about a spell on anti d's and she says not a problem. Partly as it was something we knew was there didn't try hiding it and came through the otherside, knew what had triggered it and everyrhing.....so not an issue....be totally honest
LYNSEY xx

After x3 ICSI X2 FETs resulting in :BFN:s Apart from the last one being a faint :BFP: (only lasted a day or two) I was turned down as an egg donor so we called it a day with TX
WE ARE ADOPTING
APT Apr/May 13 HS June-Aug 13 PANEL Sept 13 YES!!
LINKED to 7mth old bab22 Oct 13
MATCHING PANEL JAN 14 YES. HOME with us 11th Feb 2014 (10.5mths old)
Finally I AM A MUMMY

Lynsey

MEMBER

Posts: 4,474

Reg: Dec 3rd 2008

Location: Cambridge

Children: Adopted Son @ 10.5mths old Feb 2014 xx

What's Up?
FINALLY I am a MUMMY!!!!

Thanks: 226 / 196

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5

Tuesday, June 19th 2012, 11:03pm

Also I was told today at least 60% of people suffer with post natal depression, which is about the same amount of people that suffer with post adoption depression too
LYNSEY xx

After x3 ICSI X2 FETs resulting in :BFN:s Apart from the last one being a faint :BFP: (only lasted a day or two) I was turned down as an egg donor so we called it a day with TX
WE ARE ADOPTING
APT Apr/May 13 HS June-Aug 13 PANEL Sept 13 YES!!
LINKED to 7mth old bab22 Oct 13
MATCHING PANEL JAN 14 YES. HOME with us 11th Feb 2014 (10.5mths old)
Finally I AM A MUMMY

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

  • Send private message

6

Monday, June 25th 2012, 6:13pm

Hi Sharon,

Thank you so much for popping in and leaving me advise, this is very helpful. I did tell our assessing social worker everything at the very next meeting and she was lovely about it. As the depression had been a result of difficult life experiences she said it wouldn't have a negative affect on our application.

I am sorry to hear the difficulties your suffering ttc, we know very well how difficult this is as my hubby & myself tried and tried for a baby for over 6 years now. This would of been hubbys first baby and my second. We had 2 cycles of IVF ICSI during 2009 too.....both :BFN:


Wishing you lots of luck with :BFP: Result very soon.


Take care.

  • "aniandan" started this thread

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

  • Send private message

7

Monday, June 25th 2012, 6:30pm

Hi Lynsey,

Thank you too for leaving a message. As mentioned to Sharon I did explain everything. It was easier than I thought, as I had already explained the difficult time with abbusive X while my son was a new baby and then suffering the M/m/carriage te following year. Although my relationship was terrible this was hard for me to deal with as I had problems ttc with my X also. I had became pregnant with my son after 5 yrs of ttc. My X refused to be tested Vernever found out the cause. I thought I had fertility problems. Only discovered tat my fertility levels were normal when I had problems again ttc with new hubby. Tests confirmed low sperm count for hubby :tears:
I'm so sorry to hear of your difficulties also ttc, it's so unfair isn't it. Would like to wish you a much smoother journey on your adoption journey. We have a date in August to find out the decision at panel for our fostering application after 2 years from our very first enquiry to apply!!! Disgraceful when there is so many children out there needing love and support and security. Only problem is my hubby as thrown a huge spanner in the works today and asked if I would try IVF again as he has sold some shares at work for £10k.


Good luck & take care.