You are not logged in.


Unread posts

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

1

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 1:28pm

Money Worries- Are we alone???

Hi everyone,

I feel quite alone with this problem, but I'm sure we can't be!!! We used to be relatively comfortable and things were OK while I was on maternity leave but the last few months we have really started to struggle. I work 26 hours a week and our little boy is at nursery 30 hours a week. Our childcare bill is huge (£770 this month!). Our joint income is just over the cut off for tax credits so we are not entitled to anything. I am sure I have friends on lower incomes that are actually better off as their money is topped up with tax credits. I never bring the subject up as I know the answer will make me angry. I have been getting more and more stressed about this and along with lack of sleep I have been getting very snappy with DH and not as patient with our LO, which really upsets me. After a few tears this morning I chatted to DH and we have come up with a few ways to save money but not sure what other cuts we can make. Any ideas anyone????? Most of our money goes on food and petrol, we have had a few weekends away but have no spare money to save for a holiday or other luxuries!!!! Are savings have almost all gone which is making me feel very uncomfortable. We are planning FET at the moment but I'm scared that another baby will just put too much strain on things.

Our plan so far is to reduce our Sky package ( maybe we should cancel it!), shop around for new car insuarance quotes, set a weekly food and petrol budget and try our hardest to stick to it. We have looked at remortgaging but we have such a good interest rate that our payments would actually go up!!!! What else can we do????!!! :bawl:


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

gemmab

FORUM MENTOR

Posts: 15,592

Reg: Feb 8th 2008

Location: stoke-on-trent

Children: 2 miracle icsi boys and 2 step kids.

What's Up?
Getting ready for another egg donation!!!

Thanks: 116 / 31

  • Send private message

2

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 4:53pm

Is there anyway family can help with the childcare cause that is a massive amount? Kj goes to nursery one day a week and then family have him and when LO is born
he will get 15 hours per week funding.

Can you drop your hours, stop nusery one day and claim extra benefits?

Is there anything you can sell?

Its really hard trying to juggle anything and I feel the same at the moment just getting by and no extras.

ICSI 1 Apr 08-m/c 9.5.8
FETJul 08-BFN
ICSI 2 Dec 08 (ES) -I'm a mummy Kaynan arrived 19.8.09! :heart:
ICSI 3 Dec 10 (ES) -BFN
FET Mar 11- BFP- M/C ;(
ICSI 4 (ES) -:BFP: 1.7.11 Cobi arrived 09.03.12 [zx160]
Egg donation Aug 2012 BFN for recipient- gutted
Egg donation Dec 2012 Recipient :BFP:
Egg donation 27.05.2013- not great - please pray for the recipient :dust:





Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

What's Up?
Stressed.

Thanks: 62 / 30

  • Send private message

3

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 5:13pm

We struggle. You are not alone. I work part time and I start uni next week so will need to pay for childcare. However I am going with a childminder because they are cheaper (about £2.50 - £3.00 per hour)

Is it possible to reduce the time he's at nursery?

Sky is also expensive so to reduce it is a good idea, especially if you don't watch it much.

We don't get any tax credits either. DH earns just over the threshold whic totally sucks. Have you told the tax credit people you work and hes in childcare as they may provide some of the childcare element.

Car insurance is also a big saver. I found one over 200 quid cheaper than my renewal quote.

Also how about shopping about for gas and electric suppliers to get a better rate.

We also do lists and decide our meals for the week, write down what we'll need and just get what we need.

Also thinks like smoking and drinking cost more than you think so if you do those you could cut back and save.

http://www.moneysavingexpert.co.uk (not FZ endorsed) is a forum full of people trying to save money so maybe an idea to check that out for some tips too.






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

4

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 6:01pm

Thanks Flic & Gemma its nice to know we are not alone, but sorry you are in similar boats!!!!

Family can't help out as they all live a few hours drive away. It would be great if they could have him one or 2 days a week that would make alot of difference. It would be difficult for me to drop my hours by a day as the type of work I do ideally means I need to be in the office 5 days a week but I manage to cover it in 4 at a push!!! I have considered leaving and getting an evening or weekend job but I know that long term I wouldn't be happy with that. I really like my job so need to hang on in there!!!

I have told them that I work and we have to pay for childcare but their answer was that it was irrelevant how much childcare we pay, its our income which is the decding factor. It would be interesting to hear if anyone knows differently. I may call them again to check.

Other than my nody I am not sure that I have anything to sell don't think I'd get much anyway!!!! :snigger: But, seriously we are even thinking about cancelling our life insurance but I am scared that would be tempting fate!

I'm literally counting the months until he goes to school and that £700+ is in our account each month and not the nursery!!!!!

We don't smoke but will be cutting back on the booze, we only drink at home but it still adds up. I will have to make do with this.... :wine:


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

gemmab

FORUM MENTOR

Posts: 15,592

Reg: Feb 8th 2008

Location: stoke-on-trent

Children: 2 miracle icsi boys and 2 step kids.

What's Up?
Getting ready for another egg donation!!!

Thanks: 116 / 31

  • Send private message

5

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 7:30pm

If you don't mind me asking what will happen in terms of childcare and costs if you have another?

We are lucky cause when I go back off maternity kj will get free childcare so we only have one pay for.

Sorry short post but its fireman Sam time lol

ICSI 1 Apr 08-m/c 9.5.8
FETJul 08-BFN
ICSI 2 Dec 08 (ES) -I'm a mummy Kaynan arrived 19.8.09! :heart:
ICSI 3 Dec 10 (ES) -BFN
FET Mar 11- BFP- M/C ;(
ICSI 4 (ES) -:BFP: 1.7.11 Cobi arrived 09.03.12 [zx160]
Egg donation Aug 2012 BFN for recipient- gutted
Egg donation Dec 2012 Recipient :BFP:
Egg donation 27.05.2013- not great - please pray for the recipient :dust:





Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

6

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 7:35pm

TBH Gemma, I'm not sure. I think that's why its getting me down so much, maybe we have to accept we can't afford another child, even if we are lucky enough for me to get pg again. I just don't get it, we both have good jobs, we should be able to afford 2 children, I feel like we must be overspending somewhere!!!!


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Posts: 251

Reg: Dec 20th 2009

Location: Dorset

Children: Hayden -7/08/05 and Cerys 31/01/11

Thanks: 0 / 2

  • Send private message

7

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 7:45pm

Hi
Just wanted to say we are in a similar situation, I have decided not to return to work, mostly because i dont want to leve DD but also because chilcare costs are so huge. I work in a nursery and if i wanted to take her with me i would be paying up to 48 pounds a day-id hardly earn that not to mention fuel!! So DH is working round the clock and the sweetheart has just paid for my next module towards my degree whcih i have to complete in the next two years, my maternity allownce stops next month so we have made a list of cut backs-sky being one of the maybes!!

One thing we have found helpful is doing our shopping online, its suprising how the little bits you see on offer etc (not to mention cute girly outfits-naughty mummy!!) add up-Just a thought.

Hope you sort things soon

ME - 31-PCO DH -32-All fine
DS- 07-08-05 (NATURALLY) DD-31/1/11-(CLOMID 1ST CYCLE) Natural :BFP: 6/10/2014


[/url

babydust TO ALL X XX X

Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

What's Up?
Stressed.

Thanks: 62 / 30

  • Send private message

8

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 8:09pm

Ok, so I just worked out some stuff. My MIL is a childminder and for 30 hours per week you're looking at £90 for the week. Which in total for an average 4 week month comes to £360.

Childminders are a lot cheaper than a nursery. All I'm thinking is that £770 for a months childcare is a hell of a lot of money. The money you're paying now you could get 2 children in for 30 hours per week.






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

9

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 8:25pm

I didn't realise they were that much cheaper. I may have to look in to it, may be even if I split his time between the 2 as he loves it at nursery and loves spending time with the other children of the same age. I'll give that some thought over the next few days.....


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

What's Up?
Stressed.

Thanks: 62 / 30

  • Send private message

10

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 8:29pm

At a childminder ge would still be with other children ad probably his age. My MIL can have 3 under 5's at one time so it's a lot smaller group of children but they still all play together. And try go our an do things, like go to the woods to collect leaves then come back a make a picture for Mummy! She has to follow the same stuff as a nursery, so has to do reports and make sure they are learning through play. They go to play groups and then go to school to collect older children. He wouldn't be the only child there.






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



    United Kingdom

Posts: 951

Reg: May 13th 2009

Location: Manchester

Children: One gorgeous little boy called Daniel

Thanks: 1 / 0

  • Send private message

11

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 8:59pm

Hi Jasper, I could have almost written this post myself...we have never felt so poor. Even when I was on maternity leave we felt more comfortable than now. I have gone back to work three days a week and my DH had to take another job so he could spend some time with us and that was £10,000 less than his last job. Our wages are so low that we now fall under the cut off for Tax Credits and have qualifed for £40 a month Child Tax Credit which is the almost standard amount.

Our biggest expenditure is also the running of cars & food and so I also plan our meals for the week and do a shopping list but even doing this it comes out quite expensive. We also take packed lunches to work which helps keep costs down. I shopped around for my car insurance and have capped my electricity. We have done some car boots but now all rubbish has been sold and we did two nearly new sales, selling Daniels baby stuff as we know we aren't planning anymore so that would be different for you.

I have just made a £300 a year saving by swapping my phone calls over to AOL. I already had broadband with them but my phone was with BT. They have now offered me a combined phone and broadband deal of £20 a month so saving me quite a lot now. We have just the basic Sky package which I am not willing to cancel as it really is the only pleasure we have now because we never really go out. We too have had a few weekends away because of weddings etc & did manage a holiday but that was only because we paid for it before our money dropped. Next year will be out of the question unless things change financially.

I think the only change you can make which is going to make a significant dent into your outgoings is the childcare. I know that initially I planned on putting Daniel into a nursery but then we decided to use one of the Childminders on the estate where we live. She literally lives on the corner from me. She has a fantastic reputation as do a few others near me & Daniel loves her. She has three children in her care during the day, although one of them goes to nursery half a day. She also has children before and after school (which I will find handy when its my turn). On top of that she takes the children to a playgroup twice a week where he gets to play with different children and toys and they do activities. He still brings home pictures and cards etc like they do at nursery. Since deciding to use a childminder I have never looked back. Each morning I drop him off he just runs to the drawer in her playroom and gets out some cars & gives me a wave and a smile & off I head to work with little guilt because I know he is happy. My childminder charges me £20 for a full day & I provide him with his lunch (usually sandwiches but she is willing to cook for them if you provide the food). It wasn't the cost of the childminder which dictated I went with one, it was the fact that he has such a varied day when he is with her, still gets to play with other children, she follows the key stages curriculum (I think its called that) & I know that Daniel is fully aware of who his carer is and I have total trust in her. It feels like I am leaving him with a relative. She texts me too sometimes throughout the day to let me know how they are getting on, especially if he hasn't been very well or his teeth have been bothering him. Oh and also, if we go on holiday or I take Daniel out of care for a week etc & she has had plenty of notice she only charges half of her fee & if she is away (which is only 2 weeks in summer & one at Christmas) she doesn't charge at all.

Also lots of employers now offer a childcare voucher scheme where basically they use a company which pays your childcare but they money is deducted from your salary before you are taxed. This has made a real difference to my pay. It saves me around £500 a year! Could this be available at your work & if not currently, could you ask Human Resources to look into setting a scheme. The company my employer uses is called Fideliti. The childminder still gets paid exactly like they would if it were you paying them, mine opted to be paid into her bank so its no different for them but they just have to register with the company.

I really think changing childcsre is an option you could consider. It might be something you don't end up doing, but if it will ease the financial burden, don't discount it thinking of it as a lesser option. Just a very viable alternative.

I hope this helps xx

    United Kingdom

Posts: 951

Reg: May 13th 2009

Location: Manchester

Children: One gorgeous little boy called Daniel

Thanks: 1 / 0

  • Send private message

12

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 9:04pm

Oh, I almost forgot, we cut out buying lots of fizzy pop too (not that Dan has any) & now drink cordial which has saved us about £4 a week! We have also mostly cut out booze. We just have spirits in now really & if I rarely want a drink I have a Gin & Tonic. A good idea with this, is that you can ask people to buy you booze for birthdays and Christmas and you really appreciate it as a present then!

Posts: 1,193

Reg: May 30th 2010

Thanks: 107 / 11

  • Send private message

13

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 9:45pm

Hi Jasper,

I am so sorry you are in this awful situation. Everyone deserves the right for a family and it is not fair it is so expensive for some of us :-( I really hope you don't have to give up your FET dreams.
I am still on maternity leave but your nursery costs shocked me! Could you perhaps swap one of your working days to a weekend day so then your DH can look after your little one and one less day of nursery? Or is your job customer related? Are you the only one who can work 4 days a week or is it also possible for DH (if he is willing to)? People's advice of childminder and childcare schemes at work sounded very good (and also got me thinking in advance).

Are you still paying mortgage? That can unfortunately be a huge factor but you might be able to negotiate to shift things until children are in school.

Here are some other things we do (which might or might not suit you in your situation)
1) No landline, just two mobiles on contract at the same mobile company as that means free calls to each other apart from our monthly limit. You can also try one contract, the other pay as you go. My mum also has a Skype contract which she lets me use so I can call landlines.
2) No TV, just internet.
3) No car, 3 bikes (one reserved for visiting friends), 1 child seat and 1 trailer :-)
4) Bought most baby things second hand (baby fair, E-bay, gumtree) or in IKEA and everyone comments on how cute they are!
5) Less eating out, more house-parties (bring & share)

Hope your next post will be a lot more cheerful.............

x Rianon

Posts: 1,193

Reg: May 30th 2010

Thanks: 107 / 11

  • Send private message

14

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 9:51pm

OH and try not to cut out holidays life is awful without them. You can try to use cheap flights to cheap countries where you barely spend anything compared to the UK.

Posts: 981

Reg: Aug 26th 2009

Location: united kingdom

Children: no children

  • Send private message

15

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 10:14pm

Hope you don't mind me commenting on this thread. Just to let you guys know, that I am in a very similar situation. Every month we go into our overdraft of up to £300 a month into it, trying to pay off loans and credit cards. We both work fulltime but both have a fair way to travel (both doing night shifts) so we need 2 cars. The only difference for us (which is a big difference and quite scary really) is that we don't even have children yet so things can only get worse. We do have far too many animals (3 cats and 1 dog) but I would never re-home them (they are my babies).

We have already cancelled our sky package (much to dh's disgust).

We try to buy home brand foods.

we don't have the heating on.

Our biggest outgoings are our mortgage and loan and I am counting the months down until the loan has ended and the mortgage has lapsed the "tie in" period. Looking back we have had a crap deal from the mortgage advisor but you have to trust these people when you ask for their advice don't you??!!

Hope things pick up for everyone and I know it's easier said than done but hang on in there and do the best you all can for your prescious families...!

Love to All.

Jilly-bean.xxx
ME-31 DH-34
TTC 5 YRS
1st ICSI Feb 2010 - BFN :bawl: 2nd ICSI July 2010 - BFP m/mc :bawl: 3rd ICSI Jan11 - BFN :bawl: Our IVF Journey is now over! June 11 Natural BFP m/c :bawl:

MY DIARY

Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

What's Up?
Stressed.

Thanks: 62 / 30

  • Send private message

16

Wednesday, September 21st 2011, 10:23pm

OMG, I forgot about childcare vouchers. Most childminders take them which is great and like Lynne said, it's not a lesser option, just a different one. They have to do the same things as a nursery despite not having as many kids a beig in their own home (which is crazy sometimes). My MIL even has to have sufferer towels for the kids to dry their hands with before dinner and after the loo and stuff!! Crazy!! And she has to plan and structure the day too.






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



Posts: 3,147

Reg: Jul 3rd 2008

Location: South West

Children: 2 beautiful twin daughters :)

  • Send private message

17

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 11:17am

No, you're not alone!!

We are just surviving at the moment on DH's salary, which covers our mortgage, bills, running 2 cars (although I can only have 1 tank of petrol a month, so trips with the girls need to be local), food and nappies. We have freeview, I shop around for everything, buy 2nd hand toys/clothes most of the time and I have a budget of £60 a week for groceries for the 4 of us and £40 a month for nappies. We've not had a holiday for 3 years and can't even stretch to a weekend away. We could cut back by only having one car, but as DG works 30 miles from home it would mean the girls and I would have less freedom to go out and about, as we'd be confined to walking distance. This is our luxury!

If I went to work, there's no way I could earn enough to cover childcare for the twins. We looked in to putting them into a playgroup for one session a week so I could have a few hours to myself (to do housework etc) but it wouldn't be worth it.

So, I'm just in the process of registering to be a childminder. It's not going to be a massive earner, but it'll give us that little bit extra to play with each month. I'm just planning on looking after a friends baby as she needs flexible care due to her job. I'm also doing after school pick ups for our neighbours kids a couple of times a week. The going rate for childminders around my area is £3.75/hour per child, but may be more depending on the experience of the childminder, and whether they include food/outings/nappies etc in their costs. As Flic says, it is a more cost-effective way of getting childcare, they accept childcare vouchers and are governed by Ofsted (both personally and their home environments) to the same degree as nurseries are. Just be aware though, that they will operate the same sickness and holiday poilicies that nurseries do, and may charge you even if your child is not there that day.

It's such a tough time for most at the moment and people who earn money are certainly not being rewarded for it, just squeezed dry :(

:hugs:


Moonshine



Posts: 1,953

Reg: May 28th 2009

Thanks: 5 / 0

  • Send private message

18

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 2:57pm

Sacrifices!

Hi,

Just thought I would add that I am struggling too. Like what has been said before, DH and I are both in full time employment, with okay paying jobs. I have just returned back to work and had to go full time as it was the only way I could afford the cost of childcare and my horse.

But things are tight - tighter than they have ever been. We are starting to slip in to the overdraft each month, and the credit card which always have an average balance of £0 is now creeping up and up.

My DD is with a childminder and that costs £40 a day. That's about average for where I live. I am very jealous of the mummy who has a childminder at the corner of her street for £20 a day! The cost is about £880 a month. Luckily both DH and I get childcare vouchers - £486 combined - a month and that comes out and doesn't impact too much on our take home salaries.

I struggle to be good with the groceries, but shop around and try to stick to £60 a week. £40 a month on nappies and formula. £350 in petrol a month for two cars and then the other bill - £300-£400 for the upkeep of my horse.

So the other week I made the decision to loan my horse out. I am so gutted but financial worries have really kept me up at night and caused arguments with DH. I don't get to ride as much as I use to and I am starting to resent the strain the horse puts on my time and the finances. So he is going to another family for 12-24 months. Ideally I would like him to come back when DD starts nursery, that way there would be enough money saved from childcare.

And the best news is that by taking out the bills from the horse, I would be able to afford to go four days at work. I haven't approached work yet about that though... not going to until the horse leaves.

Still I am so gutted. The horse is a part of the family and I want DD to grow up with horses..... why can't we have everything?

Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

19

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 6:44pm

Sorry for starting such a depressing post!!! :bawl:

I had a quick look online at chilminders and it seems that £3.75 seems to be the average in my area, compared to £5.35 that I am paying for nursery! I am going to think about perhaps sending him to nursery 2 days and childminders for 2 days. My little boy is extremely content and I have started to think that maybe he is getting a little less attention than the others at nursery as they appear more demanding, so this good be a good compromise.

Cancelling the telephone landline is a good idea, we never use it!!!! Would the internet still work though??? Sorry, I am a bit clueless about these things!!! I am going to plan our meals and then shop around for the ingredients. Does anyone find if Lidl and Aldi really are cheaper? I have no idea how much we spend on nappies but maybe we should start buying them monthly to keep track of it.

We are both in Childcare voucher schemes already so are benifiting from this saving. It's interesting that if you are below the tax credit cut off you only get £40 so it's not even worth considering reducing my hours to try and benefit from this.

We have got 4 cats, we have already moved them on to cheaper food! :cat:


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

What's Up?
Stressed.

Thanks: 62 / 30

  • Send private message

20

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 8:06pm

I stock up on nappies whenever tesco has them on offer and I make sure I get my points. It's amazing how many points you can collect!! Wipes too!

Asda baby event is also a good one. I find nappies and baby stuff is the biggest expense.

We also get a lot of clothes and stuff second hand from friends which is great!

Ring around childminders as you may find they do a full day for a bit less.

You sound a lot more positive today which is good!






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



Posts: 1,193

Reg: May 30th 2010

Thanks: 107 / 11

  • Send private message

21

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 8:32pm

No you won't be able to have broadband internet, but there are other types e.g. mobile internet with a dongle you might get a good deal from your existing mobile company. However mobile internet is slower and often comes with a limit which can be very pricey to go over.

Or you can try other landline offers where line rental is cheaper I am sure someone more knowledgeable will come along and tell.

We are also using cloth nappies not for the price but for reducing the bad environmental impact. Or so I am hoping. However it means a lot of washing and drying which uses up water, energy & your valuable time (tbh I hate washing those nappies so really do hope they are good for the environment!!!).

I didn't find your post depressing I found it very useful; never realised a lot of things we could do & still live a happy but cheaper life :-)

xxx Rianon
PS: poor cats :D

Posts: 1,341

Reg: Feb 9th 2010

Location: Ireland

Children: 1 perfect boy born after icsi tx

Thanks: 27 / 9

  • Send private message

22

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 8:33pm

Hi, I posted on this thread last night but it has vanished! I was going to say that we've only had an aldi and lidl here in our town a couple of years and I never really used them before but in an effort to reign in the spending I have been going a lot more. They are both really good, Aldi is my favourite. I know you can't get everything there as I prefer certain brands on certain items but on the whole I've been really impressed. Example on a Jamie Oliver pasta recipe, costs about 9 euro to buy ingredients from scratch in tesco and costs 4 euro in aldi with bread/salad to go with it. Don't know how they compare to uk supermarket prices but they are good here.

On another note, NH nice to see you post here, wasn't sure if you were still around, I hope Lily is well. x


FET JAN 2012 - 2 embies :BFN:
2 still on ice for another day xfingers

My Diary

    United Kingdom

Posts: 951

Reg: May 13th 2009

Location: Manchester

Children: One gorgeous little boy called Daniel

Thanks: 1 / 0

  • Send private message

23

Thursday, September 22nd 2011, 11:13pm

Don't apologise Jasper, this is a great post. Its good to know that we are not alone in this. I feel as though we should manage a lot better than we do because we aren't on a meager wage & yet are just scraping by. I never realised before how little money we would have but I remind myself all the time of how lucky we are to have Daniel and that I really know only a tiny amount of parents that haven't felt poor in their childrens early years.

With regards to Tax Credits...do not consider using this to help fund dropping a day at work. This financial year the cut off is a joint income of £40,000 but from next year I believe the cut off drops to joint income of £20,000 which will mean almost every family where both parents work will be eliminated from Tax Credits and yet most parents don't even know its about to happen!

I am currently at risk of redundancy and so have no idea what job or salary I will end up on if I end up being given notice & really annoyingly, I have worked full time for almost 20 years and will have done 5 months part time yet my redundancy payment will be halved because I am part time ;(

mrsjasper

Megastar

Posts: 8,532

Reg: Nov 2nd 2005

Location: Lancashire

Children: 2 gorgeous girls

Thanks: 15 / 4

  • Send private message

24

Friday, September 23rd 2011, 7:16am

We ring sky and threaten to cancel on a regular basis, it always gets us a better deal for a few months, then we just ring back and do it again! Same with BT as we have our landline and broadband with them.

Also don't turn your nose up at supermarket value brands. Nappies are nappies, they get full off wee and poo and put in the bin. We had some really cheap ones from Wilkinsons but they did the job.

We are currently shopping at Morrisons, it's smaller so I buy less stuff we don't need and it's cheaper for what we do buy too. It's taken about £30 off our weekly bill compared to tesco. I find if I shop around I spend more because I buy more whereas if I stick to one supermarket, it's cheaper even if a few items cost a bit more.

GemH

Star

Posts: 2,814

Reg: Nov 27th 2006

Location: Romford - Me 30. MC @ 14 wks Aug 03. 7 courses of Clomid all bfn, waiting for af to start iui when shock natural bfp. M/C 29/06/2010.Separated from ex-DH in 07/10. In a new(ish) relationship with an old friend and ttc no 2 :)

Children: George 21/11/2008 - my surprise natural bfp. Oliver 09/05/2013 - my little happy chappy

  • Send private message

25

Friday, September 23rd 2011, 10:19am

I struggle as Im on my own, dont get a hell of a lot benefit wise (doesnt cover childcare which is 4 days at £35 per days). So although Im in a slightly different situation youre not alone! G goes to nursery 1 day, its more expensive, to socialise and mix with lots of kids so i can afford one day but he loves his childminders, he calls her nanny jenjen. I only have a mobile, £20 per month on a great deal (thretening to leave as Mrs J says is a great idea). I make a list of food for the week and stick to it, Im soo boring I literally plan each meal, this works as I was being silly at weekends and buying stuff I didnt need. I also bought cheap nappies at baby events like the Asda one, fortunately G doesnt need them anymore so I save there. I shop around lucky on my way to work and back I drive past a lidl so the bulk is bought in there, I buy frozen stuff from Iceland (only eat what we need then as the rest can be left) and fruit and veg from the farm shop down the road, again I roughly pick what we eat for the week and literally only buy that. Clothes (if not second hand which is harder now his bigger as kids wear them for longer), I wait until theres a sale or discount ie 20% off a Sainsburys and buy for a while, eg I bought this years winter coat in the spring sale . Hols weve had one (it rained) in a caravan and I only booked it last minute as they were offering 25% off. I found that I was spending stuff on rubbish I didnt need but not thinking about it first.

Hopefully things will start getting better for you soon. x

Oh at first it really wound me up as I couldnt do stuff with G as I felt Id had this child and he was missing out but now we go to the park or to the library to pick books (again free!) and he gets enjoyment from them. Toys I only buy on birthdays and Christmas and plan for the year (he got a bike in the sale last year). I try and make it a game now with G as well, I really am the lady that rumages.





Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

26

Friday, September 23rd 2011, 6:34pm

It's really good to get all these tips of everyone and I am feeling much better about things! It has helped to talk to all of you lovely ladies that I imagined lived in mansions, went on exotic holidays, had meals out, but it seems so many of us are all in similar boats!



I discovered Iceland a couple of weeks ago it sooo cheap! Tonight we have a £1.50 pizza each, not like the old days when we used to be one of Domino's best customers!!! Iceland also do great individual bags of frozen veg that you can microwave in 3 mins, they are perfect for my LO.



Lynne- Sorry to hear about your job. I hope everything works out OK for you. You are right although we may be skint but I wouldn't swap the life I have now for all of the money in the world. Apart from when I am thinking about my money I am extremely happy and there is one very special litttle boy that I have to thank for that!

Its amazing how many things you can do for free with the LO's. The Surestart Childrens centres are great and I don't think they ever get bored of going to the park!

My mobile contract is up for renewal in a few weeks so I will be pushing them for a better deal. I might try Sky too but I am a bit scared that they will say OK, and just cancel it!!!!


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

27

Friday, September 23rd 2011, 6:37pm

I forgot to mention that I got a list of childminders today. I am going to start ringing them next week with the aim of finding one for 2 days a week. I estimate it will save us just over a £100 per month and another £15-20 in petrol as the nursery is out of the way but there are loads on childminders living on the same estate as us.


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

GemH

Star

Posts: 2,814

Reg: Nov 27th 2006

Location: Romford - Me 30. MC @ 14 wks Aug 03. 7 courses of Clomid all bfn, waiting for af to start iui when shock natural bfp. M/C 29/06/2010.Separated from ex-DH in 07/10. In a new(ish) relationship with an old friend and ttc no 2 :)

Children: George 21/11/2008 - my surprise natural bfp. Oliver 09/05/2013 - my little happy chappy

  • Send private message

28

Friday, September 23rd 2011, 10:30pm

I thought everyone was doing better than me too but weve all got worries and niggles I think, unless there are any millionaires out there?!

I really do love iceland and its not all ready food thats rubbish anymore, the fish in there is nice, also i prefer their pizzas. I eat out if I get a coupon maybe twice a year. Pizza express does bogoffs on main meals a lot so if i go out with the girlies we half it, that way im not missing out.

I find that what i thought it would be like having a child and what it is like (in relation to financial stability etc) is vastly different, but when he wakes up singing or puts his little arms round my neck and gives me a snoggle (snog and cuddle) its all worth it, as you say.

I think its a shame surestart doesnt do anything at the weekends, id love to do something like that with g x





Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

29

Monday, September 26th 2011, 7:37pm

Tesco Clubcard vouchers are great for eating out. We use them at Pizza Express all the time!

I went to Aldi to get a few bits today and I kept the recipt to show DH how cheap some things were as I was amazed. Later this week we are going to go shopping and stock up on a few things and then try to be much more organised and budget this month and see how that goes. Maybe we'll do well that we'll have a little left over for a treat!!!


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

30

Saturday, October 15th 2011, 12:17pm

I made some money yesterday and just wanted to share it with you all as I was shocked at how much!!!!!

I sold some jewellery to a local jeweller. 1 necklace, 1 bracelet and about 5 cheapy gold rings, weding and engagement ring from my first marriage and I got £420!!!!! Amazing! I feel a bit guilty as some of it was presents but I haven't worn any of it for years and can't imagine I ever would have done again!


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Flic

MODERATOR

    Italy Poland

Posts: 12,239

Reg: May 8th 2008

Location: North Lincolnshire

Children: Had my first daughter on 25th February 2010!

What's Up?
Stressed.

Thanks: 62 / 30

  • Send private message

31

Monday, October 17th 2011, 7:15pm

Wow! That's great chick!!






Our miracle was born on 25.02.2010!!



Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

32

Monday, October 31st 2011, 8:26pm

This is a little bit off topic but I know but here goes....childminders....can they have visitors during the day?

In a bid to save money as of tomorrow DS will be going to a childminders for 2 days a week but I have just seen something on Facebook that has worried me! The childminder is an old school friend and I noticed that someone has written on her wall asking if she is in tomorrow as she will pop in. I keep checking for a reply but there is nothing. I know the girl that has written this and I feel sick at the thought of her spending time with DS, I really don't like her! DH says I am getting carried away and she will probably say she is working, or it could be meant for the evening. If she does plan to visit during the day is this normal/acceptable for a childminder???? Should they have visitors popping in whilst I am paying her to look after my child? This is all new to me, maybe I am expecting too much!!!


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

    United Kingdom

Posts: 951

Reg: May 13th 2009

Location: Manchester

Children: One gorgeous little boy called Daniel

Thanks: 1 / 0

  • Send private message

33

Monday, October 31st 2011, 11:59pm

Hi Jasper, I am not really sure if they should have friends around during the day if caring for children. I would presume its a 'no-no'. I know that my childminder has occasionally spent some time with another childminder who lives across the road but this is very rare & I don't mind that. I also know that my childminders daughter has just had a baby so I have presumed she might pop around with the baby which hasn't bothered me either but I would be bothered if I thought she was having her mates round for socialising when she should be working, looking after my LO. Its tricky though because how would you approach this with her without seeming bossy or controlling??

I don't envy you being in this position. Is there a reason why this girl that might call around is distasteful? If so you could perhaps ask your childminder if this girl will be calling around and explain the reasons for your concern.

I know that my cousin has avoided using childminders because she hated the thought that the childminder might do her household chores instead of providing proper care but that has not been my experience. I don't know if she does or not but I wouldn't mind if she pops the occasional load of washing in because thats all part of Dan being raised within her home. So long as I know he is happy, being well cared for and well fed than that is most important to me.

If you can't face broaching the subject with your childminder and the reasons you don't like this girl aren't serious then it might be that you have to just try to let this go, at least for now. Give it time to see how your LO settles with her and if you feel happy with the care being provided. If you do then it might be you can broach this subject in a few weeks/months.

If you feel you will need to say something to the childminder then I await with interest as to how that goes. Sorry I couldn't be more help honey.

Is using the childminder helping to ease the financial burden?

Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

34

Tuesday, November 1st 2011, 7:14am

Thanks Lynne. Its just really bad timing I was starting to get worried about his first day with her and how it will go etc and then I see this message on FB! Facebook has alot to answer for!

I plan to ask lots of questions about what they plan to do during the day and what they have actually done. At some point I am going to ask her if they spend time with other people and if so who???? Thinking about it, this isn't unreasonable,I have met her and her husband and I think I should know who else ( if anyone!) is spending time with my son. He will be going to her 2 days a week and on one of the mornings they will be going to a childminders group at the Surestart centre and on the Tuesdays they will be going to our local toddler group which I have been to. I am sure I am worrying about nothing but I guess thats being parent!

Financially it will save approx £130 per month. Since facing up to the fact that we are skint we have actually managed to save some money!!! We are watching the pennies very closely and thinking about what we buy and planning ahead. I also got a payrise last month and we both got great bonuses which has helped build our savings back up. We will need the savings because as you may have seen I discovered I was pg last week! This also means that the childminder is only for the short term.


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Dusky7

FORUM MENTOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 8,988

Reg: Aug 12th 2008

Location: South West

Children: Two beautiful little girls, so so lucky!! :)

What's Up?
:hello:

Thanks: 516 / 162

  • Send private message

35

Tuesday, November 1st 2011, 7:30am

Hope it all goes well today hon. I text my friend whom was a childminder and she said they can have visitors etc, but if it is a regular thing the person has to be CRB checked. I would be the same as you but it is just parental worry :) Sounds like he will be getting out and about to different groups which I think is great for them, socialising in different places and with different people. I love surestart, they always have great toys :) .

Congrats on saving money hon, and your Laurier, fantastic! You definitely need it now too :yes: xxxxx



1st ICSI - Oct 08 - :BFP:!!! DD born July 2009 : D
1st FET - May 11 - BFN :-(
2nd FET - Sept 11 - BFN :bawl:
3rd FET - Jan 12 - :BFP: DD2 born October 2012

DUSKY'S FET DIARY



Dusky7

FORUM MENTOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 8,988

Reg: Aug 12th 2008

Location: South West

Children: Two beautiful little girls, so so lucky!! :)

What's Up?
:hello:

Thanks: 516 / 162

  • Send private message

36

Friday, November 4th 2011, 3:38pm

How is the childminders going hon, been thinking of you xxx



1st ICSI - Oct 08 - :BFP:!!! DD born July 2009 : D
1st FET - May 11 - BFN :-(
2nd FET - Sept 11 - BFN :bawl:
3rd FET - Jan 12 - :BFP: DD2 born October 2012

DUSKY'S FET DIARY



Jasper

MEMBER

  • "Jasper" started this thread

Posts: 2,630

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: Wiltshire

Children: A boy and girl - ICSI and a natural miracle!

What's Up?
soooooo happy!!!!!!

Thanks: 125 / 92

  • Send private message

37

Friday, November 4th 2011, 5:38pm

He's only done one day at the childminders so far. I found it really hard leaving him. ;( It didn't go to well ...she called me at lunch time as he had a rash and I ended up having to take him to hospital as the GP didn't know what it was. Thankfully he is fine so I am putting this week behind us and we'll start again on Monday!

Thanks for checking with you friend about the visitors. I have since seen on FB the girl that I don't like chasing the childminder up for a response to her message so from that I can see that she didn't visit on Tuesday! :happy:


Jaspers Journey-My Diary









Feb 15 Shock BFP (8 o)

Dusky7

FORUM MENTOR

    United Kingdom

Posts: 8,988

Reg: Aug 12th 2008

Location: South West

Children: Two beautiful little girls, so so lucky!! :)

What's Up?
:hello:

Thanks: 516 / 162

  • Send private message

38

Friday, November 4th 2011, 7:48pm

Blimey! How scary, so pleased all is o.k. hon. Hope next week goes well. My typing keeps getting changed to words I don't want it to...blooming thing! Xxx



1st ICSI - Oct 08 - :BFP:!!! DD born July 2009 : D
1st FET - May 11 - BFN :-(
2nd FET - Sept 11 - BFN :bawl:
3rd FET - Jan 12 - :BFP: DD2 born October 2012

DUSKY'S FET DIARY



Similar threads




FERTILITYZONE



MEDHURST – PROUD HOSTS OF FERTILITYZONE