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  • "Cherry C" started this thread

Posts: 733

Reg: Sep 8th 2008

Location: Between Belgium Zim and SL in Africa

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Sunday, June 19th 2011, 9:46pm

urgent hysterectomy today and foster girls and baby daughter without me for first time

;I'm writing from Zimbawe.&nbsp;on 19th April I got word that we could foster the little girl we've been tryong to adopt for five years. I travelled back with baby from Eritrea to take her out of the home on the 21st and got word a week later that we could also foster her "sister" from the home too. I have them both with me since and her blood brother form another children's home comes to me every weekend. I could talk anout them forever.They are incredible and the sudden change from one baby girl to a gaggle of three has been lovely&nbsp;but difficult. Their big brother is an extra bonus form the&nbsp;Creator of Miracles.&nbsp;THE PROBLEM =.I have been bleeding alot becase of fibroid problem and&nbsp; my plumping has degenerated despite almost two years of kegel exercises which have done nothing to staunch the leaks, Worn out&nbsp;and&nbsp;I was either a lazy sloth or&nbsp;&nbsp;a roaring lion of a mama&nbsp;to my&nbsp;three&nbsp;kittens&nbsp;.&nbsp;I went&nbsp;to doc on Friday to cry for help and he booked me in for surgery on Monday&nbsp;when he got&nbsp;blood results&nbsp;.&nbsp;I didn't know I was so sick. &nbsp;I am dreading leaving the girls for five whole nights. I have had almost no time to make arrangements or to prepare them or myself. I hardly know what surgeons will do and I am terrified of web surfing but really what is awful is that I know the girls will be bewildered and I don't know what to expect from them or have much of a notion of how to prevent them from being upselt. The baby and i have not been separeted since her birth. I'm scared about the operation but am terrified about the girsl.What will my sudden departure do them?. I told the girls I had to go in because I swallowed a spoon when I was little . sstupid but It was all I could come up with. </P>
<P>I'm on my own but&nbsp;Thank God have&nbsp;a&nbsp;nanny who will stay with the girsl at the house&nbsp;. &nbsp;apart from the special needs teaching for an hour they do every weekday, they have been with me every other hour of the day and night. My DH is in Eritrea snd can't get out ( volcanic activity has closed down airspace)&nbsp;and we've been trying to get hem out so we can be together as a family.</P>
<P>=&nbsp;I will have computer and my newly reconnected internet access in hospital - please advise on dealing with the girls' and the baby's anxieties. Any ideas on the op and&nbsp;how to get better quick would help too.&nbsp;&nbsp; I will still have ovaries - a pity - I wanted toget rid of PMT for the girls sake. I feel utterly useliess for being miserable and emotional about "losing" a womb when I have so much to think about for them and I'm tryomg to keep cheery but I keep losing my temper and the hurt and confusion in their eyes is what makes me certain that I'm doing the right thing. I have to be strong and fit but it is all so rushed What can I do to help them?
Miracle Baby girl arrived 22 Aug 09. Still trying to adopt our little love in Zimbabwe

This post has been edited 3 times, last edit by "Cherry C" (Jun 19th 2011, 9:58pm)



    United Kingdom

Posts: 1,053

Reg: Feb 14th 2009

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 dd 1978 ds 1980 And 1 gorgeous granddaughter 2010 and a handsome grandson 2012

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Monday, June 20th 2011, 12:35am

Hi Cherry,
Sorry you're having such a hard time just now. I know how worried you are at leaving your children. If they're going to be with a nanny they know I'm sure they'll be perfectly fine. Children are very resilient and adapt to situations much more readily than adults. As long as they know you are OK they'll be happy. Can they visit you in hospital, or can you phone them so they are reassured that all is well and you will be coming back soon.
I'm sure you'll be given information about looking after yourself when you leave the hospital. You will have to be careful and not do any lifting for a few weeks. I hope it all goes well. Take care.



Posts: 4,906

Reg: Oct 23rd 2007

Location: South Glos

Children: William aged 3

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Tuesday, June 21st 2011, 4:56pm

Oh Cherry honey how wonderful to hear from you (but not under your anxious circumstances) I agree with Fi's Mum that what the littluns will pick up on is how you are doing and if you can act breezily with them, children can adapt very quickly when they understand why things are changing for a little while - is there any way you could make it seem like an adventure for them while you're away? How about wrapping little gifts or notes that they can open at given times during your absence and with visits and phone calls (hopefully) the time will soon pass for you all. I am over the moon that your long quest to be with your little girl from the children's home is finally over and your family has grown into a gaggle! :happy: Sending you lots and lots of love and do please keep us updated xxx

1st IVF July 2008 BFN
2nd IVF Nov 2008 BFN
3rd DE IVF July 2009 BFP!
4th DE IVFJan 2012 BFN

5th FET April 2012 BFN

  • "Cherry C" started this thread

Posts: 733

Reg: Sep 8th 2008

Location: Between Belgium Zim and SL in Africa

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Sunday, June 26th 2011, 10:58am

Scarlett and Fi's mum - Thanks to you both. The girls are wonderful and they did so well. I am proud of them. They did lots of happy pictures. I missed them much more than they missed me. I got a phone call from the provincial director of SW, boss of case officer of one of the girls, onTuesday,day after op. She said case officer did it wrong, we are not entitled to girls and she wants the girls taken away. I will open a thread somewhere to talk about this I am battling and need an outlet.
Miracle Baby girl arrived 22 Aug 09. Still trying to adopt our little love in Zimbabwe

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