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  • "jilly-bean" started this thread

Posts: 981

Reg: Aug 26th 2009

Location: united kingdom

Children: no children

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1

Monday, May 2nd 2011, 10:43pm

Adoption and fostering

Hi All.

Does anyone know if you can start out with Fostering and then go on to Adopt at a later stage or is it a case of once a foster carer always a foster carer? Also does anyone know if you can go on to adopt a child that is originally a foster child?

Any information would be greatful.

Jilly-bean.xxx :happy:
ME-31 DH-34
TTC 5 YRS
1st ICSI Feb 2010 - BFN :bawl: 2nd ICSI July 2010 - BFP m/mc :bawl: 3rd ICSI Jan11 - BFN :bawl: Our IVF Journey is now over! June 11 Natural BFP m/c :bawl:

MY DIARY

Posts: 319

Reg: Oct 6th 2010

Thanks: 3 / 0

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Tuesday, May 3rd 2011, 7:43am

Hi Jilly-bean.

Sorry for the quick reply. I am a foster carer . We were told at our initial consultation that fostering isn't a back door into adoption. However the paperwork is basically the same just a little more in depth for adoption eg counseling.

I have known many foster carers to go onto adopt the children they have fostered. SS do not like losing foster carers though. & If you adopt they like you to stop fostering for up to 2 yrs.

In my honest opinion I would try fostering first. I care for children 0-5. I also have 3 children of my own which I thought meant I knew a thing or two about children. I knew nothing! It is far more challenging than I could of ever imagined. It is however the most rewarding thing I have ever done .

I wish you all the best xxxxxx
Proud Mummy of 4 girls & 1 boy. Surrogate mummy & 4x Egg donor

  • "jilly-bean" started this thread

Posts: 981

Reg: Aug 26th 2009

Location: united kingdom

Children: no children

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3

Tuesday, May 3rd 2011, 1:18pm

Thanks Here's Hoping for your response!

Why would you suggest to foster care 1st? Would it be difficult then to go from being foster carers to adoptive parents? The way I am seeing it at the moment is that as we don't have any children I would love to experience all aspects of bringing a child in to the world (being pregnant and giving birth looks like is not going to be possible for us) So the next best thing would be young baby/toddlers. I want to experience changing nappies, feeding, drawling, 1st words, 1st days at shool and everything inbetween. Can you give me an idea of what foster caring is like on a daily basis, does everything stay as nrmal as possible for the child, do they go to nursery/school. Do you go to work or have you given up work to foster care??...... I am just trying to get lots of info by talkig to people that have done fostering/adoption and looking on websites and I am going to go to the library tomorrow too to get some books. Dh has agreed that early next year we can start to enquire more seriously by phoning local authorities and getting info pack and attending meetings so I am using the next 8-10mths to gather more info!

I really would love all the info you can give....

Jily-bean. xxx :happy:
ME-31 DH-34
TTC 5 YRS
1st ICSI Feb 2010 - BFN :bawl: 2nd ICSI July 2010 - BFP m/mc :bawl: 3rd ICSI Jan11 - BFN :bawl: Our IVF Journey is now over! June 11 Natural BFP m/c :bawl:

MY DIARY

Posts: 491

Reg: Apr 17th 2009

Location: Midlands England

Children: After Ttc for over 5 yrs 1st Natural preg May 2002 gorgeous DS 2nd natural preg resulted in missed m/c at 12 wks Jan 2004 both with my ex fiancé.

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Monday, May 7th 2012, 11:42pm

Hi Jily bean.

Firstly I am so sorry to hear about your difficult ttc journey.

We are currently been assesed to become temporary Foster Carers. So far we have passed telephone interview, attended information meeting, had screening meeting at our home with social worker and attended the preparation course. I can tell you from what we have Learnt so far and believe me there is a huge overwhelming amount to learn. If you become a Foster carer you can apply later on to adopt but you would have to be investigated completely separately as an adopting parent. We have been advised as like youself we have been through fertility tx if ultimately you want to adopt you should consider this from the offset.
You can adopt a child who is already in foster care, there are many children in foster care with temporary foster careers who are awaiting to be matched to adoptive parents.
If a child is in your care as temporary foster child awaiting to be placed with adoptive parents and it is in the child's best interest for many different reasons to stay with you, you can apply for long term foster carer for this child this means you care for this child until they are adults but you will not be legally this child's parents or you can apply to adopt this child, then you are legally this childs parents. However it would have to be special circumstances to become adoptive parents to a child already in your care as the application process you would need to go through will take a long time......hence why ultimately you should go down the route of adoptive parents from the offset.

Could you care for a baby or toddler as temporary foster carer knowing you will at some point have to let this child go just when you have grown to love them this could be soon or be after many months? If the answer is no you maybe should consider applying to become adoptive parents straight off. You could then consider Fostering a couple of years after adopting.
Fostering will vary from child to child depending on their circumstances but we have to try as best as possible to keep their lives as normal as possible such as take to their nursery/school let them have regular contact with family members if allowed again depending on circumstances allow them to continue with any clubs or after school clubs they are taking part in. Allow them to keep in contact with friends if allowed. Try to continue with their normal routines if appropriate. We would be expected to adapt to them. Let's face it it is already traumatic enough for these children having to leave their home environment and stay with complete strangers!


Myself I've always wanted to help out as best as I could with the children in care, it breaks my heart knowing children are been neglegted or much worse. However i thought this would be when my own children were grown up, although after 5years of ttc I've been lucky enough to have a son of my own I've been unable to have a much wanted second child. My son is now almost 10 years old and even after 2 cycles of Ivf icsi is still an only child. So my plans changed and we should find out in next few months if we have been approved. We plan to foster 5-9 year olds to see how we manage. I can continue working as the children are 5& over but would need to reduce my hrs. We said 9 so our own child hopefully won't feel intimidated if say a child older than himself came to stay with us.
To care for babies and children under the age of 5 you would have to give up working.
If we still feel the same after a couple of yrs we will apply to adopt ourselves and continue fostering as long as possible, then hopefully after a couple of years we would be allowed to begin fostering again.

Hope this helps a little. Wish you all the best with whatever you both decide.

Take care.




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