You are not logged in.



Unread posts

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

  • "kerrieannharries" started this thread

Posts: 64

Reg: Sep 26th 2010

  • Send private message

1

Friday, January 7th 2011, 3:09pm

So Confused

:drunk: Hi everyone, thought I would write on here to see if things become clearer for me as I write it down because right now i really dont know what to do. Im 36 years old and have had 3 failed IVF attempts, chose IVF as my remaining tube is severley scarred and I have had cervical cancer, so convceiving naturally is impossible for me. The thing is I am now at a crossroads as to whether to try again for a 4th attempt and hope that it might work, or do I consider adoption?? Any advice on adoption would be greatly appreciated.



Thanks

Kerrie xx

taxihome

MEMBER

    United Kingdom

Posts: 2,710

Thanks: 63 / 0

  • Send private message

2

Friday, January 7th 2011, 4:00pm

Hon welcome to FZ.
I am afraid I can not help with adoption info but there are some fantastic adoption Diaries on here.

I can help with the IVF failures though as I have been there myself.

Was your cycles implantation failure my lovely or response?

x

[zx071]
2 x man boys -MC,Ectopic IVF x 4 Natural BFP/Born sleeping 22/WksRIP LO
Jan/11:ICSI:BFP: bab21 [zx115] Our dream has finally come true
MY DIARY

  • "kerrieannharries" started this thread

Posts: 64

Reg: Sep 26th 2010

  • Send private message

3

Friday, January 7th 2011, 4:04pm

Hi there

Was implanation failure every time, just dont seem to be able to get past day 11!!!! Need to make the desicion or whether to give it another go or not, why do things have to be so difficult ALL the time

taxihome

MEMBER

    United Kingdom

Posts: 2,710

Thanks: 63 / 0

  • Send private message

4

Friday, January 7th 2011, 4:10pm

I know Hon I know. Its a bloody nightmare.
Have you been immune tested? I know a lot of ladies on here get that done after several implantation failures.
If you have the funds & the emotional ability to cycle again I personaly would look at what is going wrong there & see if there is a way round that first.
I didnt get to the ET stage last time & I will be lucky to get to EC this time with the way things are going at the mo.
When I was younger though I id have 2 x failed implantations as well so I do understand.

What were you advised at your last follow up?

[zx071]
2 x man boys -MC,Ectopic IVF x 4 Natural BFP/Born sleeping 22/WksRIP LO
Jan/11:ICSI:BFP: bab21 [zx115] Our dream has finally come true
MY DIARY

  • "kerrieannharries" started this thread

Posts: 64

Reg: Sep 26th 2010

  • Send private message

5

Friday, January 7th 2011, 4:31pm

Vile aye ???


Immune tested?? whats that about then, have not had a follow up either no one has been in touch from the hospital and my last IVF failed in October !!!!

So whats the next step for yourself???

taxihome

MEMBER

    United Kingdom

Posts: 2,710

Thanks: 63 / 0

  • Send private message

6

Friday, January 7th 2011, 5:23pm

Hon I would chase up that follow up & arm yourself with a ton of questions.
For Immunology have a look at the immunology thread. I am sure someone who knows what they are talking about will be along soon to help with that.

For me I am keeping everything crossed that I get to EC and have an ET this time as it is my last cycle. If I dont then well I think I have to decide on an alternative.
I may look at a mild IVF cycle as a final route which is heaps cheaper & my body obviously doesnt respond well to the drugs anymore. (age related I pressume now).
We will continue on TTC naturaly. Very small chance as Male Factor as well but hey ho, worth a go.
Last chance saloon we may save, (Take a year) go abroad & have donor egg (If I still cant get to an ET stage this may be our only option) but DH is not convinced on this scenario as yet.

[zx071]
2 x man boys -MC,Ectopic IVF x 4 Natural BFP/Born sleeping 22/WksRIP LO
Jan/11:ICSI:BFP: bab21 [zx115] Our dream has finally come true
MY DIARY

Marlene

MEMBER

Posts: 2,094

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Somewhere near to a rainbow

Thanks: 18 / 38

  • Send private message

7

Friday, January 7th 2011, 5:36pm

Hi Kerrieann

First of all please can I say how sorry I am to hear about your previous treatments.

My situation in brief was at the age of 38-43 I had 5 cycles trying with my own eggs, couple of cycles were abandoned couple the embryos had no cleavage and 1 cycle which had implantation I got a negative reslut. We then went to Kiev, in the Ukraine and had 2 cycles of Egg donation , again those did not turn into any pregnancies.... we then found ourselves looking at why we wanted a family andf sat down long and hard to understand whether another route was going to the way in which we had our long long wanted family ... here we are today with a beautiful soon to be 6year old daughter, we were placed with her since she was 4 1/2...

Life cannot be better and I never imagined I could have the bond and strong heartfelt love I have for Elliemay, even though in the last 10 minutes she has streamed at me and called me a "silly girl"" lmao, the process was stressful, emotional, hard work, sometimes thought why are we doing it ... but now I would al;ways say to anyone , think about why you want a family ??? that answered my question and it was more about nurturing of a child, seeing them develop little personalities like mine.... at the stage of deciding to adopt I did not have that yearning to have a baby in my womb...

I could go on forever Kerriann, so feel free to ask any questions but I do remember being in a simualr place as you 2 1/2 years ago.... good luck


Beautiful Daughter and gorgeous Son through adoption, my family now complete , 2009 started our journey and complete Oct 2012 ....

parteepartee

Calypso

Superstar

Posts: 5,464

  • Send private message

8

Friday, January 7th 2011, 8:26pm

Hi Kerrieann, like Marelene I am very sorry to read of your failed cycles, and difficulties. You are at a difficult point at the moment, and it's one I remember only too well as I was there exactly a year ago and to be honest I stayed there for several months. We considered trying to fund further treatment due to my eggs being rubbish and were thinking about (very expensive) donor treatment, but like Marlene, we had to address what it really was we wanted and why we wanted a family. We could also have considered (very expensive) immune treatment. However, we don't have that sort of money and simply couldn't justify creating a huge debt for ourselves when really all we wanted was a family - and if that meant our children didn't inherit our genetic make up then so be it, so we opted for adoption. We got to a point that we just wanted to get on with our lives and find our family (as I'm not getting any younger) and stop faffing about with IVF treatment that even with the added funds, better eggs and so on, there was still (at best) a 50/50 chance of success for us!

We are now nearly midway through the homestudy process. It's not an easy road to take, and adoption is a very loaded experience. Children that are available for adoption these days, are there because they have been taken into care for their safety and welfare. Many are badly traumatised, they may be younger than their years, and some will present with challenging behaviour in a more pronounced and intensive manner than birth children. Nevertheless, adoption is also extremely rewarding, exciting, interesting and emotionally fulfilling. We have also been very impressed with the support, resources and networks available to adopters and it is indeed a whole new world to be involved with - and very exciting too!

I would recommend doing what we did, and that is go to a couple of information meetings - see what your Local Authority have got going on, plus I'd have a look at a couple of Voluntary Agencies as well (eg Child Link, Action for Children, Barnardos). We did this and it was really helpful. Then, we decided to have our final free cycle (just in case). When that didn't work, we fiddled about with the idea of remortgaging and paying for a donor cycle, but just couldn't bring ourselves to do it, so applied to adopt.

So in essence, the decision to adopt is a long-winded and big one, but an exciting one too!

Good luck with whatever you decide, and please feel free to PM me any time.

xxx





Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning how to dance in the rain



Jan 08 Fibroid removed. May 08 IUI - BFN :sadface:
Nov 08 IVF 7 eggs (just one fertilised :sadface: - BFN
May 09 ICSI 1 - 7 eggs (two fertilised) BFN :sadface:
Aug 09 Another fibroid removed
Nov 09 ICSI 2 - 1 mature egg (it fertilised) BFN :sadface:

My journey is now over

  • "kerrieannharries" started this thread

Posts: 64

Reg: Sep 26th 2010

  • Send private message

9

Monday, January 10th 2011, 8:10am

Thankyou all for taking time to reply to me, at the weekend we have decided that what is best for us is to have some counselling to make me a little stronger mentally and then maybe I might be able to reach a desicion, not having a family is not an option I just have to consider my self and my husbands wellbeing and whether we can take the pressure of another IVF cycle. Thnak you all so much for you advice and its nice to know that Im not on my own, because sometimes thats just how I feel.

Thanks again xxx




FERTILITYZONE