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  • "amyeliz87" started this thread

Posts: 3,964

Reg: Jul 21st 2009

Location: Halifax

Children: 2 angels watching over us & our precious DD Scarlett Leigh <3

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Tuesday, December 21st 2010, 1:13pm

Pain of yet another friend announcing pregnancy! :(

I need help, I need support... I feel like I am going under...

For those who don't know me...

I have severe PCO and large ovaries, and no oral drugs work for me (Clomid/Tamoxifen).. So I had Gonal F, and on the 1st round I got a BFP back in August...
By September I had a miscarriage/ectopic <-- they don't know to be sure... :sadface:

So... I'm back on the Gonal F, and currently in the 2ww again :innocent:

Anyways, DF texted me just before lunch (so now I don't want to eat cos I feel sick with upset)... That another of our friends has announced she's pregnant and he thought he best tell me, cos I'd boll*ck him if I found out he knew! Which is true!!

I have tried to be calm, I rang my mum to have a rant about her, and why do they deserve a baby! He doesn't work and has hit her in the past!! And they are thousands in debt, and the lying little b**ch told me she didn't want kids anytime soon (approx 2 months ago) X(

I don't know what to do.. Nothing.. nothing I can do, but I thought I'll ring DF for a little chat, see if it helps, and he just flies off at me, having a go, like that is going to help ?( :cross:
Nothing we can do.. Our time will come, and all this sh*t!!! Is 2 years not long enough, whilst every1 and I mean EVERY ONE of our mates now has a little one!?! And they started trying after us! :bawl:

I am soooo close to :bawl: ... I am teary... And I am at work of all places!! :bawl: :bawl: :bawl: :bawl:

I did text the girl.... saying... I believe congrats are in order, your a lier though, cos you said you didn't want kids yet!!

People who deserve it I don't have a problem with - I.e... our other mates who already have a 3 year old.. They had a baby boy in August and I see him all the time, and love him to bits, and they let us be involved in their kiddies lifes etc... BUT, within the same group of friends who I am on about, we are godparents to their boy, and yet never see him ?( Wtf is all that about....... It's like they don't trust us with their boy? And we can't even get round with his xmas card cos they are "always out"

I am so close to :bawl: and just had to tell people at work, cos they can see I'm that upset and won't eat!?
And ALONE.. Cos DF doesn't get that we're being excluded from our "friends" now cos it's even more apparent we can't have kids!

I asked him.... Bet you wish you never got with me don't you? And he started ranting on being a kn*bhead X(
That is how I feel... And he makes me wish it was him with the problem, cos at least that way I would show I care!!

Sorry to rant on... Just so upset :bawl:
April 12 - IVF - :BFP:

April 17 - Here we go again!

Why Bee

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Reg: Sep 10th 2010

Location: London

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Tired but happy!

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Tuesday, December 21st 2010, 1:28pm

[zx127]
You're not alone with how you feel, honestly everybody under the sun has got pregnant once, if not twice in the 4years we've been trying. One of my cousins I think had their second after I told them about our fertility issues, I think I scared them into it! And another of my colleagues had her second accidental pregnancy at the age of 43 (she thought she was in early menopause) 11years after her first son, go figure, but she knew about our issues and told me she didn't want to be pregnant and I had to tell her that she had to be happy otherwise I'd take her baby away!
It totally sucks, there's a rant corner on here that reminds me I'm not the only person feeling left out of the baby making queue. As for your DF be kind to him, they don't think the same as us and at least he told you as you had wanted. You need his support so don't aim your stress at him. You're in the 2ww so you're obviously PUPO, the 2ww has it's own issues, you're full of hormones mind all in a a pickle, getting worked up won't be good for you, hard though it stop worrying about the others in your circle and concentrate on looking after yourself!
[zx102]

IUI Nov 09 BFN ..... 1st ICSI Oct 10 BFP m/c 8weeks ;( ..... 2nd ICSI June 11 [zx076] [zx076]
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Valentine's day twins 2012
And a surprise DS 27/1/15

taxihome

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Tuesday, December 21st 2010, 2:27pm

Oh Hon.

It is hard my lovely. It is very difficult indeed.
It has happened to me for many, many years & will probably continue to happen. It can sometimes take your breath away for a second. However you have to smile, congratulate them & move on. You just have to deal with it I am afraid. There is no other way around it. Take a few days for the news to sink in but do not allow yourself to dwell on it. That is not good for you, your relationship or your attempt to conceive.
Remember it is yours & DF's baby you want, not theirs.

Yes many couples fall easily. A friend of mine just seems to stand next to her hubbie and BOOM, bun in the oven again. Is it fair, well yes it is. It is fair to be able to fall pregnant naturaly. Is it fair to need fertility treatment. No... thats not fair. However when you have your baby, you can tell them of how many people it took to make such a precious bundle. From the person who invented the treatment, to the doctors & nurses, mummy & daddy.

No one can take your pain away my lovely but be strong. No matter how bloody hard, be strong. Remeber if your friends/family member offered you their cargo right now would you take it. Would DF take it. The answer is no doubt no. You want your own precious cargo on board.

I wish you all the very best in your journey my lovely I really do.

x

[zx071]
2 x man boys -MC,Ectopic IVF x 4 Natural BFP/Born sleeping 22/WksRIP LO
Jan/11:ICSI:BFP: bab21 [zx115] Our dream has finally come true
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Posts: 2,472

Reg: Nov 26th 2009

Location: manchester/Doncaster for 12-18m

Children: none as yet! HOPING 2012 WILL BE OUR YEAR

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Tuesday, December 21st 2010, 2:36pm

It compleatly sucks hun i know. All my friends have children now i am the last one standing, i am happy for them i truely am, but can't help thinking how un fair it is when you see all these other Jeremy kyles popping them out like peas and not giving a crap.

My cousin who i have not spoke to for years and is only 2 weeks older than me had her first baby last year and decided to text me last week to tell me she was pregnant again!!. She knows i am going through ivf and has not bothered speaking to me for years, so why text me that?? to rub it in me thinks.



Try not to let it get you down though hun otherwise it could consume you, it will happen be strong and keep up your PMA whybee is right in saying focus on yourself good things come tothose who wait my lovely blowkiss blowkiss blowkiss

I wish you lots of luck in your journey xxxxxxx


MY DIARY

TTC SINCE JULY 2008
ME 34 ( couple of immune issues Inc low progestrone)
DP 40 LOW [zx151] COUNT
2 x ICSI 2010/2011 = BFN's :bawl:
Icsi no.3 with immune meds nov 2011 = BFN! :bawl:
Round no.4 FET March 2012


Posts: 366

Reg: Oct 9th 2010

Location: North East

Children: Twins a healthy boy/girl and a baby boy in heaven xx

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Tuesday, December 21st 2010, 3:45pm

Amy hun, I am so sorry, I can really relate to how you feel.

All of our friends have now got a baby....one of them after been together for 1 frigging month!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then another couple weren't even together properly when they got pregnant, so they weren't planned.

Yesterday I was so upset as it was my best friends little boys 1st birthday. She started ttc 1 month after me...and now her little boy is 1. I still haven't ever got a bfp and today af is in full flow and i swear i feel so bloody angry!!!!!!!!!

It is so unfair how people can just click their fingers and become pregnant and then theres us who so desperately want a baby and it feels like its never gonna happen.

I too end up thinking similar thoughts to you about DF why is he even with me, surely he wants to be with someone who can actually get pregnant instead of all this crap.

The things which keep me going is there is technically no reason why I shouldn't get pregnant and from knowing a little about ur background Amy I think you are the same. For whatever reason we are having to go the hard way about it, but when it does happen - and IT WILL HAPPEN, we will be so grateful and we will have the most loved and spoilt babies in the world :)

Initially a few of my frineds knew i was ttc and that we were having problems. It all got too much earlier this year and me and my DF agreed to basically lie to people and tell them we have decided to take a break and we are not ready for children at the moment. This has really really worked for me as I know longer have the pressure of people constantly asking 'are you pregnant yet' or 'so have they found anything wrong' a'are you having more test's' the list could go on. Now they never even ask and there is no awkward moments when they are around me with their baby (even though it hurts me inside).

Take care hun and if you need to cry/shout etc etc just let it all out dnt try and keep it all in xx [zx127]
Dec 2011 beautiful angel baby5 twins Nov 2012 :boy: :girl:

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