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Scooby2

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Thursday, August 5th 2010, 12:18am

Pincushion Pals - Multiple IVFers yet to have a BFP

Evening ladies,

A few of us ladies have discussed that as we've followed a longer journey than most, that it would be good to be able to share and exchange ideas/advice that may help going forward.

Although many ladies have had many transfers, most have had some form of early loss along the way unlike the handful of us yet to experience a BFP nomatter how brief.

We're probably just the tail of the distribution of unexpleined infertility that takes a wee bit longer to get there (ever the optimist) but also needing some extra encouragement and support to continue the journey after yet another dissapointment.

We also don't want to depress the majority of ladies who's journeys are that bit shorter and hopefully won't experience too many dissapointments along the way.

Welcome Nix71 and Itchers. Feel free to add to the discussions when you feel up to it. Itchers, we'll hopefully hear from you after your next clinic visit/discussion. Please take care in the meantime.

I'll start us off:-

Me 39 DH 44
TTC 6+years
Abdominal Ectopic 2004 (removed and all tubes etc completely intact)
Referred for IVF post usual tests and failed laparoscopy ( unable to be performed due to severe adhesions from above ectopic)
Sperm/ovulation good. All standard tests good. Hysteroscopy and biopsy good. Unexpained Infertility.
IVF from Jan 2007
#1 fresh IVF (12 eggs, 10fertilised, 2 transfered good grades (day2), 4 frozen) Pessaries. BFN
#2 FET (day3) completely natural - no progesterone support. BFN
#3 fresh (10eggs, 9fertilised, 2 transfered good grades (day3), 3frozen) Pessaries. BFN
#4 FET (day4 Morula) completely natural - no progesterone support BFN
#5 fresh ( 9 eggs, 9 fertilised, 2 trasnfered good grades (day3), 0frozen) Clexane & Pessaries. BFN
#6 fresh (12eggs, 12 fertilised, 2 transfered good grades(day2), 4 frozen) Clexane, prednisilone & Pessaries. BFN
#7 FET ( 2thawed) 2 transfred good grades (day3) Clexane & prednisilone. BFN
#8 FET (remaining 2 thawed with new clinic) 2 transferred good grades with assisted hatching and Pregnyl support, Clexane & Prednisilone. BFN

Starting again soon with clinic review 12/8. Not ready to give up as on paper everything is fab!

Good luck my pincushion pals!

Scooby2 x

Scooby2

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 3:15pm

Conscious I posted this in the middle of the night so may not have been obvious on the 'new posts since' filter.?! Ooops! Hope there are a few of you out there with some suggestions/advice/BFPs after a long time to keep the positivity going!

BraveGirl

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 3:23pm

hi there

this is a good idea for a thread!

My onw view would be that for people like us immune testing and treatment is the way forward. If you have not considered this, now might be the time. See the immune boards and my diary for more info x
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
Oscar Miles arrived 15 April 2011 weighing 6lbs 14oz
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Friday, August 6th 2010, 3:56pm

Hi
I am about to have my 3rd fresh cycle but it will be my 5th transfer. We are having Array CGH at Care in Manchester.
I have had one miscarriage at 7 weeks and oine m/mc at 11 weeks (1st go at ivf)
I think this is a great thread.


Me 45 DF 44
1 m/c 2004
1st ICSI BFP Mm/c 11 weeks 2008
4 ICSI x 4 BFN[/color
2 x DE cycle BFN
2x FET DE cycle BFN
1 x FET DE cycle BFP!!!!!!!


Scooby2

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 4:05pm

Thanks Bravegirl,

I have your list of tests that I'll be discussing on the 12th! I think I mentioned that at my last clinic they didn't see the benefit of testing when the treatment would be clexane and prednisilone (which I've been on for a while now).

I haven't had the discussion with my new clinic yet about their approach and am interested in the Intralipids as both you and DeeDee have had sucess. I'm keen to investigate further and I assume some form of testing will be required to understand if this is suitable for me? so I'll keep you posted.

Hi Nicole, Glad this thread may help you too! So sorry about your losses. What triggered the CGH? did you get chromosome testing and it highlighted an issue? What was your history of treatment?

Scooby2.

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 4:32pm

Nother BFN'er only here

#1-Fresh cycle, 6 eggs, 3 fertilized, no ET as lining too thin
#2-FET cycle with usual drugs, no ET as failed to thaw
#3-Fresh cycle, 18 eggs, 12 fertilized, lost 3 (didnt progress), 2xday 2 ET, 7 frozen, BFN
#4-FET cycle usual drugs, 2 transferred. BFN (5 left)
#5-FET cycle usual drugs, 2 transferred. BFN No more frosties.
#6- Currently in work........

Never had any supposrt other than the usual cyclogest etc....No steriods, no clexene (until this cycle), no investigations. My clinic go on the thought that theres no proff steriods work so they wont try.

All my ET's have been day 2 and all the embies have been top notch according to the embryologist.

My 'problems' lie with blocked tubes, endo and my womb lining hasn't been as thick as some.

Other than that, according to my cons, i'm a perfect IVF case!!!! lmao So wheres my BFP???? :mmmmmm
Me 38, DH 39
TTC for 8 years +
1st IVF & FET= No Transfer
4 x BFN

"Some days you're the dog........Most days you're the tree"

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 4:38pm

Hi
Sorry I am having Cgh because I am an oldie ( 43!) and we have good lookiong embryos each time but of course no one knows whether they were normal or not. Dp's friend in the cons at Care and we have a place on a trial that is only available in America where they perform array cgh on the embryo not the egg. This way it rules out 100% of the abnormalities. The only downside is if you get to blast and because the tissue samples have to go to America the embies have to be frozen and then a fet the following month, so it is a bit drawn out.
Everything always goes well but still no luck so this is our best chance with my eggs then its down the donor egg route we go :happy:


Me 45 DF 44
1 m/c 2004
1st ICSI BFP Mm/c 11 weeks 2008
4 ICSI x 4 BFN[/color
2 x DE cycle BFN
2x FET DE cycle BFN
1 x FET DE cycle BFP!!!!!!!


Scooby2

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 4:48pm

Hi Billie,

I'm so sorry - I know what iot's like on paper all fab but nothing to show for it!!

It's a wee bit concerning that your clinic is being so strict. I have just transfered treatment to a new clinic but both have taken the approach that after 3 failed transfers - you are classed as 'repeated or recurrent implantation failure' and go onto treatment as per repeated miscarriage which is where clexane comes into the equation.

They then started me on predisilone 40mg per day post transfer and then from egg collection on a further cycle as there is evidence supporting an immune issue being treated by low dose steroids. The clinic took the approach that irrespective of whether there are immune issues, that there is no harm to use low dose steroids and infact saves you the expense of immune testing as the treatment would be the same.

I'm a wee bit further on from that hence the immune investigations ( possibly) and maybe looking into Intralipids.

I was also advised by the consultant that after a few attempts it's advisable the try a different clinic - so maybe something you should consider too? He advocated that it's not necessarily that the clinic might be a problem but that you should always be looking to exhaust variable/options to be sure you've given it your best shot ( he also consults at the other clinic I'm now using so probably why he's not biased! but in fairness he has highlighted other clionics in the UK too).

Scooby2 x

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 5:20pm

I don't agree either that it's always immune issues.. it took me five fresh cycles and I got to thinking that in some cases, it's down to luck. We did go to Care on our third cycle and I think sometimes they can be too quick to suggest immune issues. We did change clinic twice during our journey, but if I'd of started with our final clinic, I wouldn't have left as I couldn't fault the care and the service.

ICSI 1 - 17 eggs, 9 fert, 2 trans, BFN, no frosties
ICSI 2 - 18 eggs, 2 fert (only had six to play with as we egg shared), 2 trans, chem pg
ICSI 3 - 13 eggs, 1 fert, 1 trans, BFN
ICSI 4 - 15 eggs, no fert
ICSI 5 - 11 eggs, 5 fert, 2 trans, BFP, no frosties

I was always convinced we could get there.. our egg quality or maturity wasn't great, our fertilisation rates haven't been great, the only thing I was convinced on was that the pessaries weren't any good for me, always in a lot of pain after I started using them. so we used Gestone for the last cycle which wasn't fun, but I'm positive it made a difference to our outcome. I found it helpful to read other's diaries as well who had had multiple cycles to see what they have changed / worked for them. Kara and Duffymoon were two.. I found our final clinic really open to anything we wanted to suggest / try..

I know it's easier said than done, but we just felt we had to keep going until the money or our strength /sanity ran out..

I wish all of you lovely ladies all the luck in the world..

blowkiss

Lynsey

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 5:39pm

I know mine is nothing compared to many on here but it feells like peoples IVF journeys are getting shorter and shorter and im still stuck here without a sniff of a bfp!! The nearest iv got is dreaming about them at night on my 2ww!!!

My history

ICSI #1 = Freeze all after EC due to OHSS
FET #1 = 2 thawed 1 ET 1 lost = BFN
FET #2 = 8 thawed 2 ET 6 lost = BFN
FE T#3 = 8 thawed 2 ET 5 lost 1 re-frozen = BFN

ALL WERE BETWEEN 2 and 4 CELL at ET
ICSI #2 Sept/oct 2010 short protocol AND going to BLASTACYST!!!! xfingers
LYNSEY xx

After x3 ICSI X2 FETs resulting in :BFN:s Apart from the last one being a faint :BFP: (only lasted a day or two) I was turned down as an egg donor so we called it a day with TX
WE ARE ADOPTING
APT Apr/May 13 HS June-Aug 13 PANEL Sept 13 YES!!
LINKED to 7mth old bab22 Oct 13
MATCHING PANEL JAN 14 YES. HOME with us 11th Feb 2014 (10.5mths old)
Finally I AM A MUMMY

Scooby2

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 6:49pm

Hi Lynsey, It may not be quite as long a journey as some unfortunately you're definitely in the repeated implantation failure category! a club none of us really want to be in but hopefully collectively we can share ideas/info such that we'll all get there!

Nicole - do they need any more guinea pigs fopr the trial??!! Seriously though - best of luck for your next transfer.

Bouncytigger - you're another positive story for us so thankyou! I too think the progesterone could be the key. I didn't get any support on my ntural FETs until I changed clinic and actually convinced myself last time ( after AH) that as I was spotting 1week into the 2WW that maybe it was implantation bleeding and that this time it was going to happen. I suspect after my review we'll continue with the AH approach and give it at least another go ( and with pregnyl too!).

BraveGirl

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 7:34pm

while I am so pleased that BT has broken the mould and got her BFP without immune treatment I am afraid that she may be the exception rather than the rule.

Intralipids in particular are a newer treatment than steroids and clexane and I am sure have made the difference for me, DeeDee and Bunty amongst lots of others. My clinic and Nottingham are getting results way above their own expectations and ARGC are about to stop IVIG and look at doing intralipids instead.

If you rea Dr Beers is your body baby friendly? book and I think its hard to ignore the evidence that immune issues do cause recurrent miscarriage and implantation failure, for us repeate IVFers I think its essential reading. You can of course reject it once you have read it but for people and clinics to dismiss it out of hand seems to me short-sighted and so silly when it clearly works for so many people. Even St Marys recurrent miscarriage unit prescribe steroids and they dont subscribe to everything Dr Beers and his lot have to say.


While there is an argument that progesterone support is not needed, for me when my chicago results came back the amount they put me on tripled - there is you see antiboides to progesterone where your own body fights it and of course the pregnancy cannot be sustained without progesterone.


Not only that but I have not simply been on steroids and clexane, I have been on intralipids, aspirin at certain point in the cycle, climaval, steroids, high dose folic acid and B vitamins, viagra etc etc. There is more to a full immune protocol that popping steroids and aspirin.

Egg quality can also be affecte by immune issues, if you have high TNF and or NK cells then that can impact on egg quality and womb lining too.

Billie Dr Beers says that if you have endo removed you chances increase by 50% (not to 50% mind) and if you aslo have immune treatment AFTER the endo has been removed his results improved by 72%. The lasting affect of endo in his opinion even after its removal is the creation of the NK cells. So, we have the same problem there. BUT what I also found out after testing was the DQ alpha match the high TNF and the high NK cells.

Anyway it is of course up to each and every one of you to decide what you want to do but it worked for me and here's praying that this time my LO stays with me. Even if she does not, we will go again on a full immune protocol.
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
Oscar Miles arrived 15 April 2011 weighing 6lbs 14oz
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Friday, August 6th 2010, 8:03pm

Hi there,

Great idea Scooby to start this thread.

I am also a multiple failure girl, but ended up with a BFP on my last cycle. My disasters are as follows:

No 1: ICSI, cancelled after EC, OHSS. 24 embies frozen
No 2: FET, Cancelled mid cycle, crap lining
No 3: FET, 2 blasts BFN
No 4: FET, 2 blasts BFN
No 5: FET, 2 blasts BFP mmc at 11 1/2 weeks
No 6: FET, 1 blast BFN
No 7: ICSI, cancelled after EC, embies didn't make it to blast
No 8: ICSI, BFP, currently almost 17 weeks pregnant.

Like Bravegirl, I really believe in immune testing. My clinic are very progressive and are willing to try anything. I was put on IL's for cycle No 4 (when IL's were only being trialled, resulted in my first BFP) after my NK cells were found to be really active. I know its not the answer to everything, but its definitely worth a look at for anyone with multiple failures, where everything else looks good.

I was also lucky in that my clinic were willing to try every different protocol out there with me - no cycle was the same, so it was a matter of trial and error until they got the mix of protocol and drugs right for me. Expensive guinea pigging though.....

I also suffered from a rubbish lining and it always felt like pulling teeth trying to get my lining to behave - I was on Trental, viagra, Vitamin E, extra oestrogen - you name it, I tried it!!.

But the perserverence paid off - what I'm trying to say is never accept a brush off from the clinic - sometimes it can be just down to luck but there is also usually something different to try. Just stick with it and it will happen :hugs: .

BraveGirl

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 8:37pm

my journey

IVF 1 - 2 4 cell day 2 embies - BFP miscarried 7 weeks
IVF2 - 2 blasts BFN
IVF3 - 2 3 day 8 cell embies BFN
FET 1 - 1 day 3 9 cell embie BFN
IVF 4 - 2 4 cell day 2 embies BFP- hoping for a good outcome. (3 frosties)

I have also always had rubbish lining and been a poor responder, this cycle on immunes I got best womb lining and most eggs and most embies and best quality embies too. GOt 3 frosties. All my embies have been grade 1 or 2 and we have luckily got 80-90%fertilisation which has compensated for my poor response.
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
Oscar Miles arrived 15 April 2011 weighing 6lbs 14oz
My Diary

Billie

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Friday, August 6th 2010, 8:48pm

Well we have discussed changing clinics if we get another BFN.
I think its worth looking into but i'd like to know the options of clinics. I have spoken (albeit briefly) to a few of the ARGC girls but i know there are other clinics willing to try the new stuff.
I think i'll look into that book too BG, again should this cycle fail. I know nothing about this Dr Beers so a bit of research might be needed later on.

I agree with BT though about finding inspiration from some of the friends i have made on here. I can name Kara, Duffy, Emmsy, Mrs Smiff and now i'm adding Dee-dee and BT too.
BT, you've had your 4 failed cycles and on your 5th, you got it girl!!!!
Inspiring stories like these make me want to keep going until i get my dream too. (As long as the funds are there of course).
Me 38, DH 39
TTC for 8 years +
1st IVF & FET= No Transfer
4 x BFN

"Some days you're the dog........Most days you're the tree"

Scooby2

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 1:01am

Thanks Ladies - some great feedback and suggestions.

I think the main thing is to keep trying/questioning/researching as 'if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we've always got' in other words we need to try something different or nothing will change!

I've always been keep to explore something different each time (and in fairness the clinics have too) and the Intralipids are something I'm specifically going to ask about and the progesterone support (which is just a hunch I have but really interested BG on your comments).

Deedees only BFPs have been on Intralipids which is clearly significant although other immune ladies have had instances of BFPs without immune treatment (with early losses) and BT got there without immune treatment, so I guess it just highlights that there is no single magical solution ( or we'd all be preggers!) However the more informed/enlightened we are - the more we can question and explore options with our respective clinics.

Billie, I've been with GRI and now GCRM and my consultant has highlighted ARGC and CARE to me as I think the Scottish clinics will be a bit limited on some of the more advanced stuff but I'll find out more next week at my review. The other gals may be able to give more info on the clinics paving the way with more progressive approaches south of the border?

Lynsey

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 8:02am

Very interesting Reading about immunity testing etc. My DH has only recently heard about this......even though I spoke to him about it months back!!!
Anyway as has kind of been said on here already, I think as much as having it all done does work for a number of people, sometimes I think some people are too quick to jump at it. It got mentioned to me by someone not at a clinic or anything about getting tested etc after my 2nd bfn. I felt felt quite upset about it as they didn't know ANYTHING about the quality of my eggs what my linings had been like etc. I'm not being niave about immunity testing as I am going to talk about it IF this ICSI cycle ends in a BFN. But my clinic are trying a different protocol with me this time due to gettng OHSS last time. Plus they said about another drug can't remember what, which they will give me if a have a fair few follies when I go my day 6 scan. I know FETs do work but with such a low success rate I was feeling positive but didn't hold a huge amount of hope. I don't see how I could suggest immune testing when I hadn't even had a full fresh cycle.
Sorry my little rant over!!!
LYNSEY xx

After x3 ICSI X2 FETs resulting in :BFN:s Apart from the last one being a faint :BFP: (only lasted a day or two) I was turned down as an egg donor so we called it a day with TX
WE ARE ADOPTING
APT Apr/May 13 HS June-Aug 13 PANEL Sept 13 YES!!
LINKED to 7mth old bab22 Oct 13
MATCHING PANEL JAN 14 YES. HOME with us 11th Feb 2014 (10.5mths old)
Finally I AM A MUMMY

Scooby2

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 10:37am

Hi Lynsey,

FET at my clinics actually have a slightly higher hit rate than fresh cycles for ladies in the 37-39 age range. Not sure about other age ranges but keep positive!

My embies are great quality and response&fertilisation are all good. All tests are good and so there really is nothing to go on as to why we're not implanting (ever!). Although we don't want to jump to any conclusions - we'll literally try anyting if it works so trying to keep an open mind so I'll ask all the appropriate questions next week and we'll see what are options are.

My last clinic suggested that for every subsequent cycle, the chances of success diminish therefore after so many attempts we should think about egg donation. The problem I have with that is that if I have an implantation problem then why would a donor egg implant ( other than due to a chromosomal issue)? So - lots to explore in my discussions next week.

deedee1

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 10:56am

I think Scooby hit the nail on the head when she said to keep trying/questioning/researching. That is the key and don't allow the clinic to tell you its continually bad luck. Also good to try other clinics if you're not getting what you want where you are. I remember my consultant once saying to me that IVF protocols change so rapidly that what they were doing last year is completely different to whats working for them now. That impressed me as it means they're always looking for new and better ways. The downside to that is that they're trialling methods without proven successes. But clinics should always be looking out for whats new and adapting fo themselves.

Lyndsay, I agree with what you say that often Immune problems are thrown into the mix very early. But for people shelling out £5-6k for a cycle it makes sense to rule it out. Otherwise its money down the drain. I was tested before I ever had a fresh cycle and found to have a problem, so mayble I'm biased buut , lots of ladies can't be wrong and there are a lot of success stories here on FZ to back that up.

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 11:10am

Hi
I thought I would quickly detail my journey:

Ist icsi full frozen cycle due to being hospitalised for ohss - 21 eggs, 8 fertilised, 7 frozen
Fet - all 7 thawed, 3 implanted BFP m/mc 11weeks
2nd icsi - 24 eggs, 12 fertilised, all frozen due to ohss again
Fet - 3 thawed BFN
Fet - 3 thawed BFN
Fet - 3 thawed, 2 survived BFN

We have now changed clinics from Leeds to Care. Leeds seem to not care about you they group everyone into age and then treat everyone the same. My Fsh has always been really good for my age and we get good qyuality embryos everytime but because I am 43 they treat me as a hopeless case!! Care so far have been different and are changing my protocol in the hope I avoid ohss again, I over respond very quickly!! They are also giving me clexane and calcium. Anyone know why the calcium, I havent had chance to ask yet .
I am so nervous about this cycle because for the first time we HAVE to go to blast otherwise we cant have the screening and I have onley had day 2 or 3 transfers before. The good thing about the trial is that if the embryos dont look like they will go to blast they transfer on day 3 but you forgo the screening.I feel at my age the screening is paramount because as the cons says the embryos that most clinics would discard are often the normal ones!
I am really going to need some pma this cycle as I am terrified :tear:
Sorry about the moany post I am not normally like this honest smile2


Me 45 DF 44
1 m/c 2004
1st ICSI BFP Mm/c 11 weeks 2008
4 ICSI x 4 BFN[/color
2 x DE cycle BFN
2x FET DE cycle BFN
1 x FET DE cycle BFP!!!!!!!


Scooby2

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 11:54am

Hi Nicole,

I wouldn't be too concerned about taking to blast as you have good embies that are being frozen and thawed so I'm sure they'll grow on to allow you to do the screening next time.

I asked my 1st clinic about blastocyst and they advised to go with the standard 2/3 day transfer and if it was negative, they would investigate blast for us on the next cycle. I had read about the improved success rate with blast but appreciated that there was a risk was that you wouldn't get to transfer.

As you know, once they freeze your embies the subsequent FET ensures that the embies are a day older anyway so with the 2nd transfer it was day 3 which resulted ina BFN so a fresh cycle was started. The clinic who weren't too experienced and setup to do blastocyst culture were willing to give it a go however on day 3, 2embies were streets ahead of the rest so they wanted to do a transfer on day 3. I agreed and with another BFN the subsequent FET meant that the embies were day4 and at that point were at morula stage and compacting so, my history suggest all should be well with blasts and I suspect you are the same too.

Only good embies can survive a thaw so you've obviously got 'strong uns' there but I totally understand - the more you know about this process, the more nervous and anxious you get at each stage!

I've read about ambryos arresting when maybe they looked fab in the first few days and actually sometimes the slower ones end up doing better so, the ability to do screening would really give you the best possible chance to pick the right ones to go back so, I really wish you lots of luck. I'm sure you'll get to the screening bit and then get the opportunity to select the best genetic ones for you both and have the odds stacked much more in your favour.

Take care and keep positive.

Scooby2 x

BraveGirl

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 11:57am

The calcium is just because blood thinners such as clexane mean you don't absorb calcium and weaken bones so calcium is to counteract that. You should never be on blood thinners without calcium supplements.
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
Oscar Miles arrived 15 April 2011 weighing 6lbs 14oz
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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 1:24pm

I'm on clexene this time BG. Should i pop to the chemist and get some calcium supplements or should i ask my clinic?
Me 38, DH 39
TTC for 8 years +
1st IVF & FET= No Transfer
4 x BFN

"Some days you're the dog........Most days you're the tree"

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 2:30pm

I am on 1.25g twice daily. thats a lot. ask your clinic to prescribe and if you cant get that then at least you know how much I am on.
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 3:20pm

1st long protocol 5 eggs 2 fertilized no frosties BNF
2ndlong protocol 5 eggs 2fertilised no frostisties BFP then BNF
Awating 3rd cycle Nov/dec

Am really loving this thread. Gives us recurrent failures something to focus on. I have my review appnt next week and am following BG and all u ladies who have had immune drugs. Problem is my clinic dont do immune testing. However onlast cycle they put me on prednisolone as a trial without testing and bfriefly got my BFP. With the next cycle obviously we are paying nearly 5500 for this and willingto go blasto and assisted hatching. Im now thinking of pushing for IVGS ? what is best recommended? Do I realy need to test before IVG or can get a trial? Every little helps xxx
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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 5:35pm

Wow BG I didn't know about the calcium - I've never had any and I've been on clexane several times! I will definitely be bringing that up next time!

Hi Champagne, I'm not too sure on the IVG treatment other than I know it's really expensive and I believe Intralipids are getting good if not better results and at a fraction of the cost so, may be the prefered oiption. BG/DeeDee and the other immune ladies would be best placed to give more info.

I too haven't had immune testing but the clinics I've attemded decided that they'd treat me as if I had issues hence the prednisilone (they also don't do the testing but I think they can liaise with the clinics that do?) I'm going to be asking them about Intralipids next week at my review appt so maybe we can share notes?

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Saturday, August 7th 2010, 11:28pm

Scooby2 Will be good to compare notes. Goodluck for the 12th. Mine is the 13th x
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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 9:14am

Good luck to you both for you appts.
I would so love to see this thread explode with BFP.

While we were speaking of the pro's and cons of immune testing, i have no doubt that it works for some people.
I must say though i'm with Lindsay and BT to a certain degree.....For my own experiences obviously.

Thing is, my other clinic put me on a protocol that i think they give to everyone. Ok, i know they did bloods and everything along the way but i dont think it was enough.
Baring in mind I was an IVF virgin so didnt really have a clue, the things I look back on and find odd are as follows:
For starters, i think they DR'd me too long. I was given an injection of Gonapepetual and then went back 30 days later for baseline. At baseline, i was given synarel for a little while of 2 sniffs per day (think this was about a week). Not sure why coz my BLS showed a lining of under 3mm already.
I was then on 450 menopur for the whole time i was stimming with no adjustment. First cycle i got 6 eggs, second cycle 18 eggs?????
Then cyclogest 2x daily for the 14 days.

I feel with this clinic they are trying a slightly different way, 225 GF reduced when my follies went into overdrive, ONLY synarel to DR and ONLY for 2 weeks, Crinone instead of Cyclogest and Clexene after EC.

Maybe it doesnt look like alot of change but at least i know that if this results in a BFN, i've tried something different before moving on to immune testing.

For the girls at CARE....Do you get the daily monitoring on your cycle that ARGC give? Is it as intense as ARGC's way of doing things?
Me 38, DH 39
TTC for 8 years +
1st IVF & FET= No Transfer
4 x BFN

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 9:40am

Hi
My protocol at Care is as follows:
Day 21 - Start Buserelin inj everyday. Af 5-10 days later, then phone for a scan
Down reg scan and blood test
Start stimms - Menopur 300iu and 225iu on alternating days ( this is because I always overstim)
Day 6 of stimms - Scan and blood test
Hcg
EC
Any Blasts we get are then frozen because we are having screening.

I seem to only ever downreg for 2 weeks, my lining ususally behaves very well xfingers
I dont think there will be daily monitoring but I know they are scanning me earlier than I have been scanned before due to ohss. It seems to me all clinics do things differently but only some tailor the treatment to the individual.
I so hope we get some BFps on here and that we can keep this thread going :happy:


Me 45 DF 44
1 m/c 2004
1st ICSI BFP Mm/c 11 weeks 2008
4 ICSI x 4 BFN[/color
2 x DE cycle BFN
2x FET DE cycle BFN
1 x FET DE cycle BFP!!!!!!!


Scooby2

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 10:23am

Morning Ladies,

My protocol has been pretty consistent:-
Down regulation injection ( no idea what the name of it is)
Call when period starts
Start scans from about 2weeks to determine start of drugs
Daily injections on GonalF 225ug ( which was increased to 325ug on my last fresh cycle)
Scans every 2nd days from about 1 week after jabs waiting for 2 follies to get to 17mm at least
HCG jab at a precise time
EC
ET (pessaries and clexane and prednisilone after a few attempts were BFN)

Champagne - will definitely let you know how I get on and their thoughts at the clinic! I'm actually looking forward to the discussions as it's witha new consultant and I'm keen to expolkore what his views/ideas are.

I'm also actually quite interested in the ability ( where possible) of monitorting bloods post transfer and prior to outcome. I was involved in FET research (as there are no HCG drugs to influence the bloods) to monitor bloods which I think are aimed to identify early stage blood results on future outcome. Where I think this might be really useful for ladies like us is to identify if implantation is actually happening and not sustaining or just not happening at all. If the former, then the course of action is as per miscarriage treatment (drugs and possible immune treatment), if the latter, then treatment may be more towards chromosomal and or egg donation routes.

I think we are some way away from the results of this research and it being available to help us ladies - but another example of the constantly changing approaches in Infertility reasearch and treatment so, we need to keep asking to ensure we get the latest and greatest treatment.

ktb

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 11:06am

Morning ladies - Can I join too?!

My history is TTC since 2004.

unexplained infertility for both of us, investigations include hycosy, hysteroscopy, 1st and 2nd immunes - normal. nk cells only slightly high (0.7 out of 'normal range')

1st IVF long prot 10 eggs, 8 fert, 2 blasts BFN pessaries

2nd IVF long prot 10 eggs, 3 fert, 2 3DT BFN pessaries

3rd ICSI short flare, 14 eggs, 7 fert 4 blasts 2 transferred 2 frosties BFN gestone, clexane

4th FET 2 frosties survived and transferred BFN gestone, clexane

5th ICSI 14 eggs, 8 ferts, 2 blasts no frosties Gestone, clexane, prednisolone, ritodrine, aspirin OTD tuesday 10th august.

So thats my history, so far. At least for now!

Just had my last cycle at the ARGC, they have thrown a lot more at me than ever before and hoping that my test date on tuesday can bring some hope to this thread. However, no symptoms at all so far, so who knows. At least i know we have tried everything possible so far to date. I have had ivf, icsi short and long protocols with varied drug regimes, and varied post ET regimes. If this one does not work then back to the drawing board. Reading about Intralipids is interesting, however as i don't really have any immune issues it seems other than an only slightly elevated NK cell assay, I assume it is not something that they would suggest for me as we are unexplained.

HO HUM!! I guess i will just have to wait patiently until tuesdays blood test at the ARGC.

Good luck for everyone else in their conquests to overcome all this crap, lets hope we can move out of the pincushion pals into the pink section. xfingers xfingers xfingers

big hugs and good luck with your cons coming up girls.

kt.xx
Cycles 1-6 2008 - present. All BFN's too boring to list now! (5 fresh & 1 frozen) :faint:
Cycle 7 - October 2011 3 x LIT, Intralipids, 60mg clexane, 100mg Prontogest, 25mg prednisolone. :BFN:

Check out my blog here - KTB's lucky number 7 Blog.......

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 11:32am

Hi Kt, fingers and toes crossed for you for Tuesday!

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 7:28pm

Hello ladies



Today I got my 6th negative test.... I am very fortunate that I have no problems - DH and I use DS and each time we have good embies but they never stick. Why oh why is the question I have and one that I appreciate may never be answered....



Has anyone heard of the steroid DHEA? Do you think it may help with the embies sticking?



Does anyone else feel that maybe it is just not meant to be? I am trying so hard to be positve but then I look around at others and think 'maybe it is something I have done in the past and thta is why I am being punished'. I know this may seem strange but I am so angry and sad
SaraH

April 2009 - IUI :BFN:
June 2009 - IUI :BFN:
November 2009 - IVF :BFN: ;(
Jan 2010 IVF :BFN:
April 2010 IVF :BFN:
July 2010 IVF :BFN: :bawl:

3 frozen embies (day 5) and two IVF in Denmark left before it is over.

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 7:40pm

Good luck for Tuesday ktb..
ICSI number 5 - BFP!! :boy: :girl: arrived December 2010

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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 8:14pm

SJH I am so sorry about your BFN, I cannot reccoment immune testing strongly enough. PLease buy dr beer's book as mentioned earlier on this thread.
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
Oscar Miles arrived 15 April 2011 weighing 6lbs 14oz
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Sunday, August 8th 2010, 10:22pm

Hi SJH, so sorry to hear you news - you must be so raw just now.

With a few IVF transfers drawing a blank you should be being treated as a 'repeated implantation failure' case and you'll see Clexane and Prednisilone being mentioned quite a bit. Clexane is a blood thinner used for recurrent miscarriage ( repeated implantation failure could be spontaneous miscarriage) and prednisilone is a low dose steroid being used to combat immune issues.

It would be worth you exploring a change of approach for your next FET with your clinic to make sure you give them the best possible chance.

I think we can all relate to feeling that it's not meant to be. I know it takes me a few days to lift myself out of the dissapointment that a BFN brings. Maybe give yourself a few days to come to terms with it and then you can start to swat up ahead of your review meeting at your clinic on what you would like to do next. There are ladies here that have managed their BFP after many attempts which gives us all something to aspire to.

Take care x.

SJH

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Monday, August 9th 2010, 6:39pm

Thank you both for your kind words and advice.



DH and I had an NHS treatment this time (after years of fighting for it) and we havent told them that we had IVF in Denmark 3 times before and so we are a little worried about telling the nurses at the clinic in case they make us pay for the free NHS tx we had....



I had a termination when I was 18 (almost 20 years ago and deeply regretted now) and so I know that the embies used to be able to attach. My DH says that each time we have a tx I have a cold or ear infection - do you think this may have stopped them attaching.



The clinic have just called and I cannot have the FET until this AF and another two so it is a long wait ahead.



I am so very grateful for your help and support - as I am sure you will agree this is a lonely journey sometimes



Sara
SaraH

April 2009 - IUI :BFN:
June 2009 - IUI :BFN:
November 2009 - IVF :BFN: ;(
Jan 2010 IVF :BFN:
April 2010 IVF :BFN:
July 2010 IVF :BFN: :bawl:

3 frozen embies (day 5) and two IVF in Denmark left before it is over.

SJH

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38

Monday, August 9th 2010, 6:43pm

KTB



I am thinking about you and have everything crossed for tomorrow - I really hope that we can have a BFP on this page!
SaraH

April 2009 - IUI :BFN:
June 2009 - IUI :BFN:
November 2009 - IVF :BFN: ;(
Jan 2010 IVF :BFN:
April 2010 IVF :BFN:
July 2010 IVF :BFN: :bawl:

3 frozen embies (day 5) and two IVF in Denmark left before it is over.

Mrs MacP

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Wednesday, August 11th 2010, 11:11am

Hi All,

I've joined this forum this week & wanted to introduce myself as unfortunately today I've had another BFN after a blast transfer, so I'm joining the club & have never had a sniff of a bfp.

Our fertility journey is as follows:


TTC #1 since Oct 2006
Me 33 with PCOS, AMH result 18.89 ~ DH 32 initial SA was borderline for ICSI due to infection but since been v.good so no known problems.
6 x clomid Jan - June 09 all BFN.
1 x ICSI Nov 09 (9 eggs mature, 5 fertilised, 2 x 8 cell transferred) BFN. Clinic review stated due to thin lining of around 7.
1 x ICSI&IVF Apr 10 with oral viagra (12 eggs mature, 7 ivf/5 icsi 100% fertilisation 2 x 8 cell icsi embies transferred) BFN lining only around 6.

1 x IVF Jun 10 with oral viagra (8 eggs mature, 100% fertilisation 1 unexpanded grade 3-4 blast transferred) BFN lining only 5.1 X(


I need to call the clinic later today to give them the news & will request a meeting to discuss the cycle as part of me wishes that the clinic had never even transferred. We've tried oral viagra twice now & its made very little difference, I also tried acupuncture last cycle & that made no difference.


As I'm so exhausted with it all we have decided to take 6mths off to get head & heart back in a more positive state. I've already read various posts about progynova, oestrogen patches, trental etc which makes me wonder why my clinic haven't suggested trying these already? I need to hear whether they will be open to this before we decide whether to stick with them or think about moving to Care Sheffield or Nottingham. I'm also well aware that my weight won't be helping the situation so I want the 6mths to try & lose 2 stone. I previously lost 4 st before we could start ICSI but I'm put on nearly halfst so want to get back to the gym & back on the low gi diet... urgh!


So that's our story. Good luck to those of you going through tx at the moment or about to start the rollercoaster again.


Mrs MacP
Me 33 PCOS DH 32 TTC 4yrs
2009 6mts clomid & 1 ICSI BFN
2010 2 x IVF + viagra BFN

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Mrs MacP" (Aug 11th 2010, 11:14am)


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Wednesday, August 11th 2010, 2:51pm

Hi ladies, been reading this thread for a few days now, but after being in a strange mood after another BFN 2 weeks ago, I'm just about getting round to it.

Mrs MacP, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I saw something you posted the other day and was so hoping that it would be a different story for you this time. I think taking some time out is a very good ide. I did the same last time, and think that it helped me to deal with this BFN more easily. I'm with CARE Manchester, and although we've never seen a BFP, I still trust them implicitly and would highly recommend them. I honestly think I have immune issues as I've got at least 3 inflammatory conditions, and am going to my review appointment in two weeks armed with loads of questions and info and am going to be asked to be given an immune protocol. This next attempt will be our last, so I want to make sure that we've thrown everything possible at it so that I can't reproach myself in any way.

Good luck to all you ladies. I never realised how difficult this journey will be, and don;t think I will ever have to deal with anything so difficult again in my life xxx

Scooby2

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Wednesday, August 11th 2010, 5:56pm

Hi Mrs McP and Demi, sorry to hear about your recent BFNs - it is really tough to keep bouncing back , so I know it must be really difficult and I hope you feel more positive soon. Demi - you're absolutely right, only us multiple IVFers really know what it's like physically and mentally so time out to let the body and mind get back on an even keel is definitely the right way forward. Rest assured we all understand and sometimes it's easier to have a wee rant here than with family/friends who despite wishing well, never seem to understand or they end up saying the most insensitive things!

I have my review appt tomorrow afternoon and although we know we'll be giving it another go ( hopefully with some new approaches/ideas), I too want to take a bit of time out. The steroids in particlular just make my face blow up and I feel really bloated and so a wee rest is on the cards.

Please take care and use the other ladies on the thread as inspiration - Dee, BG and BT are all inspirational with slightly different stories and we're also hopeful for some new BFP ladies from our club soon so, lots to give us hope.

Scooby2 x

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Wednesday, August 11th 2010, 6:06pm

Demi,



Sorry to hear you have recently had a BFN also. It certainly doesn't get any easier & the hardest thing is having to break the news to family.



Unfortunately my DH works in the family business with his mum & dad so there was no chance of us keeping our tx a secret. We tried to in the early days but they started to get really concerned about us going to hospital so we had to come clean. Sometimes you just wondered why this journey is so hard for us? I thought losing my mum to cancer when I was 10 was horrendous but somedays this really does take the biscuit & it is so hard to stay optimistic. My SIL has had 3 babies in the time we have been ttc so whilst they try to understand, I can't really expect her or my MIL to know what it feels like, its so isolating.



Good luck with your review tomorrow. Have Care done Level 1 & 2 bloods on you? After our 2nd cycle I went to my GP with a list of Level 1 bloods & thankfully they agreed to do them. The Clinic were happy I'd taken the initiative & the results came back fine & haven't shown up any issues, dispite me having PCOS. I don't fully understand it all but have purchased Dr Beer's book so I don't really understand if we would need to have Level 2 tests done if Level 1 results have been clear. I'm still certain that our main issue so far has been my lining issues so I want to tackle that first as the way I see it is it's a process of illimination!



I hope your review can give you some reassurances that they will change your protocol & you come out feeling positive about your next cycle.



Good luck



Mrs MacP x
Me 33 PCOS DH 32 TTC 4yrs
2009 6mts clomid & 1 ICSI BFN
2010 2 x IVF + viagra BFN

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Thursday, August 12th 2010, 12:06pm

Hi. It's so good to be able to talk to ladies who are in similar position to us. I convinced myself that this would work for us first time and really got knocked hard when it didn't. Last time, I had a feeling probably the day after EC that it wasn't going to work again, and to be honest, even though I'm going to ask them to throw everything at this next cycle, I already hold out little hope for success. I don't know if that's some kind of coping mechanism for me, but I guess, if it does work then that will be a wonderful surprise for us as opposed to a crushing blow if I convince myself it's all going to be wonderful this next time.

Scooby, good luck for your review appointment this afternoon. I can understandyou wanting time out. As for the steroids, I've never been on them for ivf, but have had to have many courses, both iv and orally for the Crohn's and arthritis, and they always have an awful effect on me. My mood swings all over the place and I always feel that I look loke Michelin man after a couple of days. It takes so much longer for the effects to wear off once you stop taking them too. That said, it is one of the things I am going to suggest for this next cycle, along with clexane, intralipids and maybe the oestrogen patches, though I'm not sure that they will agree to that as I do over respond and had OHSS on my first cycle - I do not want a repeat of that!!

Mrs MacP, I know exactly what you mean about breaking it to the family. The first cycle we had was just before Christmas and we'd told everybodythat we were doing. When we had to break the news, I felt that I had just let everyone down and ruined their Christmas and New Year celebrations. This time, we kept it very limited as to who we told, but I couldn't face my parents. I rang them, asked to speak to my dad and broke the news over the phone, then asked them to stay away for a few days, I just couldn't face them. DHs parents already have grandchildren, so it made it easier with them, but mine are desperate for a grandchild, so it's heartbreaking. DH sometimes says that he thinks I'm putting myself through all this more for him and my parents than for myself, and maybe he has a point? I was so sorry to read that you lost your mum, and at such a young age, that must be so hard. I agree about your SIL and MIL, as I'm in the same position there. SIL was really annoyed with us this time because we didn't tell her we were trying again until after our BFN. We only told her then because we had no choice as there was a family get-together the weekend after our test, and I just wasn't fit enough to go, so we had to let her know why, and apparently she made it clear to DH that she wasn't happy about being kept out of the loop. We're not close anyway, so I'm really not fussed, she can think what she likes. It's one of those situations where we only hear from her when she needs a babysittter, and after the hell I went through with the OHSS she has never once asked me if I'm ok now or if there are any lasting effects from it. As for the immune bloods, we had level 1 done before this cycle which came back clear, but I know from talking to the other girls on here that the same happened to some of them, but that level 2 bloods did highlight problems and with the right protocol they now have their BFPs. The problem we have is that we can't afford the £1100 to get them done, so I'm hoping that if I plead enough they'll let me do the protocol regardless. Our pct agreed to fund for freezing embryos on each cycle and as we've never been fortunate to have any to freeze, I reckon that we've saved them enough cash there to justify a more expensive protocol, but we'll see.

Scooby2

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Friday, August 13th 2010, 8:58am

Morning All,

Well my clinic appt went quite well - the consultant was very pleasant ( this is my first review appt at my new clinic as we transferred our last 2 frozen embies there for FET with AH).

Upshot is another constructed IVF cycle with focus on growing to blast ( they do it a matter of course whereas my last clinic weren't really setup for it). I've had day2,3 and 4 transfers so nothing to suggest that next time they won't grow on.

He was very positive and said we have good fertilisation and quality and that we don't need to start thinking about ED just yet as all is good.

I have had chromosome bloods but my husband hasn't so we'll get that done before next time just incase there is an matching issue which apparently will render 50% of good looking embies not good enough to develop on.

I asked about Intralipids and immune testing and basically they don't see the point of testing when the treatment would be the same ( which I'm on). He offered that we could have Intralipids next time if I wanted but to give them notice to ensure it's done in time. He was a bit flippant about Intralipids and said that my vitamin/fat absorbtion was fine and actually a few fish suppers around the right time would be just as effective. Saying that they have 1 lady at her request who had Intralipids and is pregnant so their own sample so far is 100% effective! He did point out that they have no way of knowing what it was that did the trick though.

We agreed that a new cycle to blast is in order with all the usual meds/drugs and given we usually get frozen on every assiated cycle. If we get anothet BFN we'll try the Intralipds on that. We've got time ( probably October start) and so we may decide that we'll change our minds andjust throw Intralipds at it too. At £300 per infusion - It may be worth the punt!

Take care ladies and hope to hear some good news from you all soon.

Scooby2 x

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Friday, August 13th 2010, 9:31am

Good Morning all!!
Scooby_ I am glad it all went well at your review appt. Its so much better when you have a plan. We have had each cycle frozen because I always over stim and have been in hospital twice with ohss. That is the thing I am so nervous about this time. I can take all the inj and drugs and the et but the ec terrifies me. I know how bad I have felt each time :tear:
I can feel my ovaries working overtime even after only 2 days of stimms.
I am just hoping we get to blast this time as I have only ever had day 2 or 3 transfers but we need blasts for the screening. If this doesnt work its donor eggs for us!
Demi _ Mr S is back from a wedding on Sunday , one of our other friends got married in Gibraltor so he should be all relaxed and raring to go and make us some babies happydance
Hope everyone else has a good day lurve


Me 45 DF 44
1 m/c 2004
1st ICSI BFP Mm/c 11 weeks 2008
4 ICSI x 4 BFN[/color
2 x DE cycle BFN
2x FET DE cycle BFN
1 x FET DE cycle BFP!!!!!!!


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Friday, August 13th 2010, 11:13pm

Scooby, sounds like the appointment went well, sorry I'm just getting on to check on you.

Nicole, that is really good to know, I'm counting the minutes now until we see him. I didn't realise you'd suffered with OHSS. I got rushed in after my first EC, so this time they put me on cabergoline from the night I did the pregnyl. It had it's own side effects, but as they were telling me I was at risk again of OHSS again I would have put up with anything. I never want to experience that pain again and almost gave up because I was so scared. I remember telling DH that if he wanted children he should leave me and find someone who was strong enough to go through the ivf process with him because I wasn't. I think we're both in good hands though, and to be honest, if we hadn't been allowed to go back to Mr S I would have ended my journey at Christmas. BTW, this may seem like a strange question, but is Nicole your actual name? I only ask because mine isn't really Demi, I just wanted to stay anonymous on here because I don't want DH checking on what I'm talking about and trying to censor me :snigger:

I'm praying that this year will end happily for all of us xxx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Demi" (Aug 13th 2010, 11:15pm)


Scooby2

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47

Saturday, August 14th 2010, 8:57am

Morning ladies,

Thanks for the positive words.

Nicole - it sounds as if you have a pretty tricky time on stimulation so fingers crossed it's not so bad this time. The things we put ourselves through- eh?! Just keep thinking of the positive outcome and use this space to vent through the process - we'll send you lots of hugs along the way!

Champagne - thinking of you - hope you're well and this week's review went well too.

Scooby2 x

    United Kingdom

Posts: 3,163

Reg: Feb 17th 2008

Location: leeds

Children: 21 year old son and 24 year old son

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48

Saturday, August 14th 2010, 9:55am

Hi
Demi - Yes Nicole is my real name. I have no worries about my DP being on here he is useless with computers :snigger:
I have had OHSS twice and been hospitalised twice which is why I am so nervous this time. The first was worse than the second but each time it took me between 4/6 weeks to feel normal again. But I trust Mr S and because of this trial we are on we have to have the embryos frozen while they get the results back from America so if I do get it again I will have chance to recover before et.
I hope everyone is going to have a nice relaxing weekend, its pouring down here so I dont know what I am going to do!!!
Better put my wellies on and go walk all the hounds :snigger:


Me 45 DF 44
1 m/c 2004
1st ICSI BFP Mm/c 11 weeks 2008
4 ICSI x 4 BFN[/color
2 x DE cycle BFN
2x FET DE cycle BFN
1 x FET DE cycle BFP!!!!!!!


Mrs MacP

Newbie

Posts: 11

Reg: Aug 9th 2010

Location: E.Yorkshire but Scottish

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49

Wednesday, August 18th 2010, 12:58pm

Hi Girls,

I hope everyone is ok & had a nice relaxing weekend. I am just back from 5 days in Edinburgh visiting family and I am absolutely shattered.

It was such bad timing, I thought it would take my mind off things but in hindsight I ended up taking on all sorts of family issues & just felt overwhelmed. To top it off on Sunday we met up with my dad & step-mum who imparted the news that my step brothers wife is pregnant again with their second baby. They got married 6 months before us in 2006 & when she told me the news it took all my strength not to burst out crying & run off. I have just felt so angry & sad since. We don't really have anything to do with each other & my reaction is not based on anything to do with them. I just feel so sad that in that time we have tried & failed so many times that even one baby just seems like such a miracle, never mind two. It has really hit me hard & I find at odd times during the day the tears just flow... thank god for sunglasses! To make matters worse we just got in the door last night around 9pm & the phone went. It was my SIL asking if I would babysit my 3yr old nephew today & tomorrow as she's already farmed out her other two kids to family but was struggling for anyone to look after him. I just felt like streaming inside as she left me with no option really but I just don't feel up to it. She has 3 beautiful children & doesn't seem to realise the constant pressure she puts on people to look after them. I just feel like I need space to heal but how could make someone who gave birth to 3 kids within 7 years understand that right now is not the best time to be babysitting? I feel such a selfish cow for even writing this, but that's how I feel & I know I'll love having him here but then when he's gone & the house is quiet I'll feel this huge horrible sadness that maybe we will never experience having our own children..... its so horrible isn't it to live like this?

On a positive note, I have received our cycle review appointment which is on the 3rd Sept so not long to wait. I have also bought two books, The ultimate PCOS handbook by Colette Harris & Optimum Nutrition Before, During & After Pregnancy by Patrick Holford so I'm hoping these help me get my mind back into a more positive place & give me back some sense of control.

I've also got Dr Beer's book to read at some point so I'm going to be pretty engrossed for the next few weeks.

Financially we also made some decisions whilst we were away. We have decided to trade in my lovely C-Max with leather seats, sat nav, 6 cd-changer (the perfect family car....how ironic!) as my FIL is looking for a new car & we will take ownership of his old 05 reg Fiesta as it doesn't look like I'm not going to need a big family car anytime soon & its just costing us so much money running two big cars. Initially it was a bitter pill to swallow but I know it doesn't make sense to have a big car as I don't do that many miles anymore & when I do I take DH's Octavia. We can put the extra towards tx but I just always looked forward to having 2 or 3 baby's in the back seat, sad I know! We also decided to look at seller our beloved caravan which is only a couple of years old. We love it but we also know that the money we get for it could cover one or two more cycles. It just feels like everything has come at once & whilst I'm not a material person, I'm just feeling a little sad that we are having to make all of these compromises for what comes so easily to others.

Still, I hope as my dad would say that its characture building & in the long run we will look back & think it was all worth the sacrifice.

Hope everyone is having a lovely Wed.

Mrs MacP x
Me 33 PCOS DH 32 TTC 4yrs
2009 6mts clomid & 1 ICSI BFN
2010 2 x IVF + viagra BFN

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Mrs MacP" (Aug 18th 2010, 1:03pm)


Posts: 3,164

Reg: Feb 16th 2009

Children: Yes please

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50

Wednesday, August 18th 2010, 1:23pm

OMG. Can't believe I have only just found this. Can i join ladies?

My journey, 2008 - 3 IUIs all BFN
2008/9 - 3 IVFs and I bled early on every single cycle
Dr said could be egg quality so cgh is the way. Thought I would get another opinion, and went for Immunology testing. I don't have an extreme result by my NKs are just over 18. So that means I have a good chance of my body killing little babies.

So, on to treatment. I've just had my fourth cycle postponed owing to high LH levels. I was on a short protocol. The clinic are now switching me back to a long protocol, and I start DR on the 4th.

If anyone has views on helping to get the best, then I would love to hear.


I've lost a little weight, but not enough. I've cut down on the bad stuff. I take masses of vits. I've given up work for a while. I'm now on Clexane 20mg , Aspirin, 25mg Prednisalone plus Gonal F from the start. I've requested Gestone rather than the other progesterone supports. Depending on tests etc, might need to use Estrogen patches but don't know yet.

I hope our journies reach happy conclusions very soon and congrats to all of you who have your BFP. It gives me the hope to carry on.

Sam x


3 IUI and 5 IVF :BFN:
What's the future?
MY DIARY


High NK and high PAI-1
On Metformin & Immune Cycle

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