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  • "Baby Blue Eyes" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 520

Reg: Nov 6th 2009

Location: Winchester

Children: 14 yr old DD & 14 month old DS

Thanks: 69 / 109

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 11:24am

I am sooooooooo down?!

Hi Girls (and guys!), I've been trying to keep the whole PMA thing going on, but of late, it seems to have got up and gone?! Be warned...this might be a long one!

I feel silly as I know some of you have been trying for so much longer than us, but i'm struggling and really need a hug! I know it was dinner with the outlaws that started me off again but an evening of hearing about the other 'wonderful' grandchildren and their antics has reminded me yet again that my dd isn't 'theirs' and they'll be waiting a long time for one from us?! I've tried sooo hard to talk to DH but he just clams up and refuses to talk about it until we see the consultant..(and lets face it, thats not going to happen to quickly, i'll be surprised if the bloomin drs have even sent a letter yet?!)

For those that havn't met me yet, My DH and I have been trying to concieve for approx 2 & 1/2 yrs,(have always wanted/assumed another since my 1st beauty came along 9 yrs ago) I miscarried v early in dec 2007, but hubby has had mumps 2, possibly 3 times since then and his boys have taken the worst of it! The Dr initially told us that due to his 1st SA that icsi was our only option, then he changed his mind after speaking to a specialist and put hubby on antibiotics and Tamoxifen for 3 months, 2nd SA came back just after Xmas......NO change. ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHH! We are now being forwarded to the hospital apparently.

The pressure of the last few years finally took its toll in November, lots of things going on, and i've been off work with stress since. I'm due to go back tomorrow......helping families with young children and babies with their depression and lives, getting them back on their feet. Its a good job irony isn't lost on me [zx103] I'm dreading it !

Seriously though...from those of you that have been through the wait from dr to long did you wait? Are we looking at another 6 months of limbo?

All advice, hugs and general chit chat from likewise lovelies gratefully recieved ! x Blue x



    United Kingdom

Posts: 3,648

Reg: Jul 2nd 2009

Location: Suffolk

Children: Beautiful Jessica Mae x Holly and Elliot!

Thanks: 142 / 5

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 11:34am

Dear BBE,

So sorry to hear you are not feeling great at the happens to us all now and again and some more than others (me included sometimes).

I am not of the waiting times between consultants etc as I have gone straight to a fertility clinic after trying for the same amount of time for you guys. I feel very fortunate to have been able to go direct as there are so many others that have such long times to wait and so many conflicting stories and advice given by so called 'professionals'. I guess it's a difficult role for them as there are so many reasons why there could be problems, together with so many ways of dealing with them.

I am just waiting for my February cycle to start so that I can start medication. I have high FSH and low AMH so have been told to prepare for a low or no response to the medication. My other half already has three children which sometimes makes things easier, sometimes harder....

Let me know how you get on and good luck! BTW - your daughter is gorgeous!
Jessica Mae Duffety born sleeping on 9 January 2011 (21+2) - TS and HLHS
Holly and Elliot Duffety born on 16 October 2011 (25+6)
Natural Surprise - Matthew Evan Duffety born sleeping on 11 October 2013 (15+5)

  • "Baby Blue Eyes" started this thread
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 520

Reg: Nov 6th 2009

Location: Winchester

Children: 14 yr old DD & 14 month old DS

Thanks: 69 / 109

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 3:33pm

Hi HJP, Thank you so much for your compliment, she's a little big bigger than that now but I love the piccy non the less. Its nice to know that at my really low moments there seems to be someone at the other end of the keyboard in a similar situation.
As for Fertility clinics, I don't even know where to start! I'd love to make an appointment but DH wants us to try NHS 1st. God only knows why as we're not entitled to much help as I already have my little lass. I was informed about me being a possible donor, but again, I can't do anything until we're both ready. Its not just me going through this? I have however just signed us up for the waiting list for relate? I dont know whether it will help us, but we need to start talking soon. The JOYS of marriage hey !!! :)
I do hope that the meds help,and get things ticking along as you wish, I also hope that you cope with them ok.
I'll keep my fingers crossed that the roller coaster is kind to you both. And particulary for your BFP !!!
I'm hoping that a darn good cry will help me get it out, so I can pick myself back up.....back to my 'normal' self!
Thank you so much for just replying.....its tough feeling so alone sometimes
If you need a chat, ping me, my former personality will be back soon LOL ! x Blue x



Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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Monday, January 11th 2010, 4:21pm


Sorry you're feeling so down. Infertility is hard.

Not sure how long things take to move via the NHS. We went privately as in our area you're not entitled to treatment if one of you has a child, and we already had a DD.

It might be a good idea to check what options are available to you on the NHS as many areas have the same criteria, and that would mean you weren't eligable for treatment. It would certainly potentially save wasting time.

Maybe your DH would consider couselling? It could be a way to have a really open conversation?

Anyway, I hope you feel less blue soon.


My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008



Posts: 44

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Saturday, February 27th 2010, 4:08pm

I was also going to suggest seeing what they will actually iffer you so you don't sit on a waiting list for months only to find there isn't treatment on offer as you have a child. It's hard though, i know. Fingers crossed for a natural bfp /