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Welshbird

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Monday, January 4th 2010, 9:17pm

First Home Visit

Hi Ladies,

Quick few questions. We are having our first home visit soon and i was wondering if someone could anwser my questions ...

1 - Do SW's asses the 'dogs' in our house? We have 2 springer gun dogs, one is 4 and the other is just 16weeks old ... ive heard that they asses the dogs in your home too. Im a bit concerned as the dogs sleep outside and the older one is very protective over his territory! He will bark at someone new who comes into the house, u ntil he gets used to the person, but im scared the SW will take one look, Jack will bark (he's a big loud dog and sounds nasty but really is a softie) and say .... NO!!! And then the little one ... well she is just mental, jumps about everywhere and pee's when she gets too excited .... Ive thought about getting a safety gate so the dogs can sit and watch the SW and get used to her being in the house before she makes contact with them - hopefully this will calm them and make her see how wonderful they really are .... has anyone else had these questions come up?

2 - At the moment (i think ive asked this before) our DD's have a room each (we have a 3 bedroomed house) but we are willing to convert the 2nd garage into a bedsit for the eldest (she's 21) to make room for a child (should we be accepted) but i think the SW will take one look and say NO!! cos of the room situation. Is there anyway i can get around this? We dont want to convert the garage and pay out all that money in case they say NO for other reasons.

3 - Do i have to tell my employer? I heard that they like to have a reference from the employer too .... i really didnt want to say anything to mine at the moment, not until we know more about what is happening, and i KNOW my DH wont be best pleased about this as where he works is a nightmare for gossips etc ... he really is a private person and i would worry that this might put him off.

4 - This might sound awful, but can we ask (we know it may take longer for a match) for a pre-school child. The reason we want pre-school is because we want to bond with her/him before they start school and for them to become used to living at home with us before they are shipped off to a new school and a new home all in the first week.

Im being really thick i know, but these questions are really playing on me .... any advise wud be great, thanks ladies Xxxxx

Vezza

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:15pm

Hi Becky!

Sorry sweet but no answers from me. I just wanted to wish you luck and let you know that I am still stalking you on your journey :D

About the Springers though - I mean, can you expect anything less of a Springer. They are all mental so surely anyone would expect that. You know my situation and I have a Springer who is bouncy, too excited at times, very protective, barks to give the illusion of being big and scarey but really is a wet weekend. No-one is going to stop me bring the bubs home from hospital are they now.... I know it is different but things like that should really not matter one little bit.

The SW will see what a wonderful mum you already are and what a wonderful Dad DH already is. That is what matters - the rest is the hoops which you need to jump and get through. Play the game hun!

love always,

x

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:33pm

Just a point about your dogs. As they are working gun dogs you can say with confidence that your husband is an experienced and competent dog handler, that the dogs are well trained and their breed behaviour is well understood by you. It's not as if you have two bonkers dogs and you and hubby are sat there gormless and at a loss how to deal with them. I expect that the fact they sleep in outside quarters would only go to reinforce the fact that the dogs are firmly looked after and that they would not be any threat to a child. I'd get a baby gate so stop them jumping all over her and widdling on her shoes though :snigger:





Welshbird

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:44pm

:snigger:
Yeah i was already thinking about the safety gate, that way we can maybe leave the back door open, so they can pop their heads in an hav a look at who is there, and get used to her/him. I do know for a fact that the dogs are assessed along with us, i have logged onto an adoption site and lots of couples have been/are going thru their dogs being assesed and one solution was a safety gate ... i just hope that the SW who comes is dog friendly.

Vezz hun, thanks for stalking me ... i cant belive ur ticker!!! Where DID the time go to ... very soon u will be abck on the diet with me, egging each other on (i really need to get back on mine)

Anyhow, have to pick up Jack from the vets after 5pm today (he's had the snip Vez) so maybe that will calm him down a touch too ... who knows. Will let u all know when date of visit it ... will have to get the paint brush out and spruce things up a bit, DD could do with a new carpet too ... hmmmm lots to do me thinks!
xx

Vezza

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:54pm

he he he! Bells you have all the right words. I just say...."well they are Springers!". You give it all the proper and sensible words. And it is soooo right too. Safety gate all the way I think though and we had one when smudge was a baby (opps pup) to get her used to people as she was really scared of the world. Worked wonders.

I know, time has flown and getting all very real now. Managing to keep the weight to a reasonable level though and only put on 3.2 kg so far but already talking and making plans about afterwards and getting back on board the lard fighting effort. I really don't want to be one of those horrible fat mums that can't play with their children and wobble around looking flustered so keeping a constant eye at the moment and then once things settle down (you can tell i've not done it before can't you!) I will be all aboard the nagging train :D You always kicked my butt anyway with the results so one full on week for you would take me at least 2 months to achieve! I still do my fajita a'la Becky style you know with the lettuce leaves for wraps :D

Anyway....going totally off piste there! The dogs will be fine, you will be fine, everything will be fine. Get slap happy with the old paint brush and if you get bored with doing yours feel free to pop down to Kent

x

Bells

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:57pm

I have a baby gate for the dogs and it's sometimes very useful. I would expect that it's helpful to show that your dogs can be contained and aren't just left to tear around whenever they feel like it, it shows discipline.





Welshbird

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:58pm

Get swung .... ur my mate an all that - but i aint comming to Kent - have u seen the snow predictions for that place tonight!!! :thumbup:

Bells is great at 'wording' things ... cos she is Mrs Ceaser Millan lol (the dog whisperers lol) talking about Ceaser, he is comming to Belfast too .... i would love to see him in action ...

Welshbird

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 4:59pm

In action as in 'training his dogs' and not what u two were thinking :snigger:

Vezza

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 5:04pm

Whatever :D How come all your diarys/threads desend in tone rather quickly? hmmmm.......

I know, I am packing it about the snow. Had a bit of a fall which has knackered my pelvis muscles. I know, me with muscles who would have thought :P Doing an anti-snow dance as we speak.

Tutt about not helping out a friend....I mean :D

x

Welshbird

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 5:05pm

They only desend when ur in em rotf

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 5:34pm

Hey hunny bunny :D
Not sure how much help this will be as we adopted my bro yrs ago but we had 2 border collies at the time and the bitch was quite nervy (sp) we also had a 3 bed house with my older bro having his own room and me and my sis shared a room - plan was to split me and sis room into two and me and adoped bro shared a room as i was still quite young - social workers were fine with that so i imagine as long as you say what you plan to do they should be ok - difficult isnt it trying to work out what they will think, also my parents asked for a child upto the age of 5 but again that must have been about 19yrs ago?
good luck hun and try not to worry too much - just tell them what your worried about and be honest i'm sure it will be fine
blowkiss


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Marlene

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Tuesday, January 5th 2010, 7:40pm

home study visit

Hi Becs

I remember our 1st one so well, it is really nerve wracking but she/he will put you at ease. I will answer the questions I have experience with , sorry don'tknow anything about doggies as do not have one.

With the room situation, as long as you show them you will have sufficient accomodation to bring up a little one, they should not turn you down based on what you currently have. We did quite a bit of work to our house but its hard not to worry. They just want to ensure you are not going to be too tighter squeeze

Telling the employer, you do not have to tell them , I chose to share as they have known every step of my journey and have been totally fabulous with release for home study etc. Havent heard of them using them as a reference , these should be your personal references not who they chose

Asking for pre school child. You do get asked what your age range wqould be , so be honest say 0-3 or whatever. There are fewer babies that do come up for adoption but if you was considering 1yr plus I am sure somewhere out there there is a little one waiting for a forever family. We said 0-5 and our daughter is 4.



Hope that helps and loads of luck hun

xx


Beautiful Daughter and gorgeous Son through adoption, my family now complete , 2009 started our journey and complete Oct 2012 ....

parteepartee

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Wednesday, January 6th 2010, 1:24am

Just wanted to pop in and wish you all the luck in the world. We have a border collie and he barks like mad when people chap the door (someone actually chapped while I was on to the social worker arranging our first interview and it was that bad she took my number and phoned me back!!! :whoops: When she met wolfie she was ok about us having him although she herself was scared of dogs. It wasn't part of our assessment though as we are only just starting out on the journey it was just an informal meeting to give us information and take some preliminary details from us.

Hope everything goes well and look forward to hearing what they say about the dogs!

Sam xxx




TTC 5 years
May 2008 - 1st ICSI cycle :BFN:
August 2008 - 2nd ICSI cycle :BFN:
April 2009 - 3rd ICSI cycle :BFN:

November 2009 - Now we are on the journey to adopt

babydust to you all xxxxx


Welshbird

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Thursday, January 7th 2010, 1:42pm

Thanks Ladies blowkiss

How long after the initial phonecall does it take for the SW to ring u back with a home visit appt? I know i might seem pushy but its bedhlem here at work with people off left right and centre, and im afraid that the SW will arrange a visit while everyone is off on their hols (they have to ake lots before end of March - i however have mine all used up lol) so its gonna be difficult ... i may have to even ring in sick for it ... its been 4 days now, is this being a bit too pushy lol ... should i wait until next Monday (a week) before ringing them back and asking??? I just want to get the ball rolling s'all, is that too much to ask?
Xxxx

Welshbird

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Thursday, January 7th 2010, 1:56pm

Also (another quick question)
I have heard that there are many other adoption agencies that we can choose from. I didnt know that??? I just typed into google adoption in northern ireland and was given a list of local numbers? Does this mean i can phone them all and see which ones are best ... i think they are all the same here, i really dont know????
?( ?(

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Friday, January 8th 2010, 1:16am

Hi Becky

I've heard a lot of people on here saying that the pushier you are the better as it makes you look really keen. I don't see why it should take so long just to arrange an appointment although I think mine was about a week before they phoned with a date. I'd wait until Monday then call just to make sure they haven't lost your number or something horrible like that! I don't think it's too much to ask for them to phone you quickly but this is an everyday sort of thing for them, it's just for us it's the bee all and end all of things.

I spoke to loads of agencies (I'm in Scotland) however some only covered certain areas so we were restricted to 2 and I decided on the LA as the VA were sort of stand offish on the phone to me (like they could do without the inconvenience) and also was a wider age range we would be put down for (at the moment 0-2 with the LA but was 0-5 with VA because the LA place with their approved couples first hence less youngsters for the VA) but this was just personal opinion.

It's nice having someone at the same sort of stage as me. I was beginning to think everyone else had already been through all this and I was the only one at the moment!

Sam xxx




TTC 5 years
May 2008 - 1st ICSI cycle :BFN:
August 2008 - 2nd ICSI cycle :BFN:
April 2009 - 3rd ICSI cycle :BFN:

November 2009 - Now we are on the journey to adopt

babydust to you all xxxxx


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Friday, January 8th 2010, 11:45am

We have two springers also. If you are concerned that the dogs will give a bad first impression then why can't they be out on a walk when the SW arrives?

We sometimes put ours into a day care facility, for example when we were getting the house painted.

Have some treats ready for the doggies too :)
Apr '09 - Lap & Dye (I blocked tube - adhesions removed from other)
July '09 :BFP:
Sep '09 - 9w 3d - MMC
Oct '09 :BFP:
Bubba is a little girl!

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "wishdust" (Jan 8th 2010, 11:46am)





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