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Welshbird

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1

Friday, November 27th 2009, 10:51am

We have applied ...

We have applied to our local authority for info pack about adoption ... they asked us lots of questions when i rung up asking some info ... going ahead with another cycle isnt for us. Can anyone tell me ... in Northern Ireland, are the laws different here, i have logged onto their site, but was wondering if anyone had any experience on the waiting lists etc??

chatterbox

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Friday, November 27th 2009, 12:43pm

:weehee: how exciting Bec. :hugs:

Me 40 DH 35 TTC 10yr
peritoneal mesothelioma, cystectomy 97 & 00
peritonectomy, lost both tubes & most of left ovary Aug 07


Dec 07 BFP b/ov m/c 9.6wk
July 08 BFN
Dec 08 BFP b/ov m/c 9.6wk

July 09 BFN
Nov 09 BFP 2 x sacs 1 b/o 1 no hrtbt m/c 9.2wk
May10 BFP at 8+4 m/mc @10wk scan ERPC

Found: High NK cells, DQ Alpha match, LAD neg & PAI-1 pos...

NOV 2010 - Immune IVF at CARE Manchester
:BFP: [zx076] :girl: born 25/8/11

OCT 2012 - Immune IVF at CARE Manchester
:BFP: [zx076] :boy: born 24/6/13

deedee1

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3

Friday, November 27th 2009, 12:46pm

Hi Welshbird,

Congrats on your decision. Onwards and upwards from here :D

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4

Friday, November 27th 2009, 1:06pm

Wishing you all the best Becs blowkiss

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5

Friday, November 27th 2009, 1:09pm

can't offer any advice but just wanted to wish you the very best of luck xxx

1st time Mum following IVF
born 22/12/09 6lb 7oz
tx @ St Judes
Lisa xxx

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6

Friday, November 27th 2009, 1:24pm

Awwww well done hunny - wishing you all the best of luck for your new and exciting journey
love ya
blowkiss


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- BFP
Trying for No 2 - BFP


Marlene

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7

Friday, November 27th 2009, 4:31pm

Oh Becky, I am so thrilled for you that you have taken your 1st steps to start your new journey. :D :D :D

I just want to say how wonderful it feels to be a family and even thought this journey will at times seem exhausting and never ending believe that your dream will come true

Unfortunately, I have no knowledge of the rules or processin Northern ireland so i am unable to help with that. I can only say our journey was 18 months from the start and we have now had our gorgeous daughter for 5 months, just amazing.

Please feel free at any time to PM me, I pop in as much as I can but am over the moon for you hun

xxx


Beautiful Daughter and gorgeous Son through adoption, my family now complete , 2009 started our journey and complete Oct 2012 ....

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Friday, November 27th 2009, 4:44pm

Good on you Becky, if IVF doesn't work for us we'll be following in your footsteps xxx

2 ectopic pregnancies - 2005 & 2009
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IVF#3 April/May 2012 - BFN
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Maria72

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Friday, November 27th 2009, 4:47pm

Hi Becs, I can't help you, I just wanted to say good on you girl! blowkiss

gemmab

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10

Friday, November 27th 2009, 7:56pm

Hi hun

Just wanted to say I am so excited for you and hoping to go on this journey myself one day so keep me updated.x

ICSI 1 Apr 08-m/c 9.5.8
FETJul 08-BFN
ICSI 2 Dec 08 (ES) -I'm a mummy Kaynan arrived 19.8.09! :heart:
ICSI 3 Dec 10 (ES) -BFN
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11

Friday, November 27th 2009, 11:17pm

Hiya hun.
Just want to say congrats on your application.

I dont know anything of this at the mo (hopefully one ay we will though) but i have this link for you that might give you some more info. xxxxxxx

http://www.adoptionuk.org/adoption_facts.asp?session=Ireland
Me 38, DH 39
TTC for 8 years +
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12

Saturday, November 28th 2009, 3:43am

Bec, you are and your DH are amazing, I was so happy to see this thread! I so admire your persisstance (spl!), you will be the best mummy in the world (again), good luck, you are amazing! clap

Feb 09 God's Miracle - Natural BFP.
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13

Sunday, November 29th 2009, 7:38pm

Hi

No idea re laws in Northern Ireland but good luck am nearly at the end of the process myself and we have panel in 16 days to go.

If can always PM me or pop into my diary if you wanna ask any questions.

Good luck its been an amazing and so far joyous journey.

Basil
Me 43

TTC 6 years
12x clomid BFN
3 IUIS BFN
2 IUI's overstimulated
1 natural preg m/c Dec 07
Adoption journey started April04/09

Now a mummy

Welshbird

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14

Monday, November 30th 2009, 1:59pm

Hi Ladies blowkiss

First off ... thank u all for ur messages, im a little crap at keepin things up to date lately .. but there really is nothing to tell just yet. We still havent had the info pack yet, hopefully it will be at home when i get in from work.

I have a few issues that im really concerned about, will run them by u guys an u can let me know what u think ...

Obvisouly we will have a SW visit and asses us ... we already have 2 children (aged 21 and 19) that live with us ... will this effect the decision. Im worried cos we only have a 3 bedroom house and the girls have a room each. They will take one look and say we have no room for another?? Yes the older one is looking for somewhere to live and might even be gone by the time a child comes to live with us, but would we need this room emptied and ready for a child when the SW comes, im concerned and dont want to shove my DD out. We had been talking about converting the 2nd garage into a bedsit and this was going to happen if our recent cycles had worked. But obvisouly we would have had time during my pregnancy and then with the baby sharing our room, at least a year and half. Understandably we dont want to go ahead with this unless we are accepted by the panel ... it wud be a waste of money etc ... im really winding myself up about this :sadface:

Also, my DH has a kidney problem and cant even get health insurance because of it, they wont go near him ... will this effect our chances of being accepted???

Sorry this is so long, but im hoping maybe some of u will have anwsers ...

Thanks Xxxx

chatterbox

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Monday, November 30th 2009, 2:14pm

Ooooh I dunno Bec. ?( I could ask one of my closest friends. She is a SW and manages the Loc Auth adoption teams.

I'm sure the social worker will be lovely and thoroughly understanding though. It's fairly obvious that 2 young girls would eventually be moving on and the whole adoption process could take upwards of 12-18 months anyway. I wouldn't worry yourself about the garage just yet - unless you eventually need it as a hide away for yourself from the clan :snigger:

I'm also pretty sure that his medical conditions won't have any bearing on your assessment at all. Why would it? You're both physically competent at being parents!! :D

Me 40 DH 35 TTC 10yr
peritoneal mesothelioma, cystectomy 97 & 00
peritonectomy, lost both tubes & most of left ovary Aug 07


Dec 07 BFP b/ov m/c 9.6wk
July 08 BFN
Dec 08 BFP b/ov m/c 9.6wk

July 09 BFN
Nov 09 BFP 2 x sacs 1 b/o 1 no hrtbt m/c 9.2wk
May10 BFP at 8+4 m/mc @10wk scan ERPC

Found: High NK cells, DQ Alpha match, LAD neg & PAI-1 pos...

NOV 2010 - Immune IVF at CARE Manchester
:BFP: [zx076] :girl: born 25/8/11

OCT 2012 - Immune IVF at CARE Manchester
:BFP: [zx076] :boy: born 24/6/13

Welshbird

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16

Monday, November 30th 2009, 3:31pm

Quoted

Originally posted by chatterbox
I could ask one of my closest friends. She is a SW and manages the Loc Auth adoption teams.


Ohhh wud u mind hun? Another thing i meant to ask was about my dogs ... now u might be wondering why on earth am i worried about the dogs, but i read on an adoption site about pets etc, my dogs are lovely (of course they are mine lol) but Jack the older one, he tends to bark if someone comes to the door, and continue to bark at them until he settles down. Im worried that he will bark and scare her/him ... so we have come up with a plan of action :snigger: im going to buy a safety gate and let the dog peep in from the kitchen so they will get used to the SW and not be so aggressive (he isnt aggressive honest, he just protects his territory with strangers) he is very friendly once u get to know him.

Ohhh, and the ex husband - he lives in Wales, will they still ask him for areference? Hmmmm im not sure i will get a good reference off him tbh, we parted on bad terms and he doesnt see the kids now ... he is a very bad father and doesnt deserve his name on their birth certificates and im scared he will be selfish and hold it back or say summit nasty ....

:rolleyes: this never ends does it!!

Mavis

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17

Monday, November 30th 2009, 3:48pm

Oh Becs, when I saw this I just welled up!
I am so happy for you and your DH!!!

I am sure if there are any deal-breakers to you adopting, they will come out sooner rather than later. I don't know very much about the process, but everything you are concerned about doesn't seem to change the fact that you and your DH can provide a stable, loving home for a kiddywinkle. THAT is the most important thing.

One day at a time Becs, I am SURE you will get there!

I am just over the moon for you both,
M
x

My Diary
10 years, 5 cycles, and 3 beautiful children.
My family is complete :heart: :heart: :heart:

Welshbird

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18

Monday, November 30th 2009, 4:00pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Mavis

I am so happy for you and your DH!!!


We havent been accepted yet :snigger: but i know what u mean .... im off an day dreaming already :snigger: i never ever dreamed i wud adopt ... had always said it wud be DH's baby/child or nothing ... but u know what, thats just not gonna happen :sadface:... and since we have given up 'cycling' :snigger: the more and more we have thought about it - its having a family thats more important :D

ells77

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19

Monday, November 30th 2009, 6:03pm

RE: We have applied ...

Hi Welshbird
Ive done a lot off research on this and spoken to some social workers. The process from application to panel takes approx eight months. A fantastic site is adoptionuk.org it has great message boards on every subject.
Ellie

ells77

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20

Monday, November 30th 2009, 6:10pm

re adoption

Also should have said ss view is that it takes nine months to make a baby so it should takes at least that long to prepare so dont worry they will help you get ready as the process is on going. Yes they will contact the ex this is a subject everybody worries about but ss know a lot of break ups are acrimonious and they dont take much weight from it. They only want to know there was no violence on your part. Theres a whole section again on it on adoptionuk.
:-)
Ellie

Welshbird

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21

Tuesday, December 1st 2009, 2:57pm

Thanks Ells ...

Still no dam info pack from them tho ... i rung and asked for one on Thursday ... i did have to give my full name (and maiden name and former married name) do they do some checking up before they send the info out do u think??? I cant think why this pack hasnt arrived :rolleyes:

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Wednesday, December 2nd 2009, 2:20pm

re pack

Hi
It took about 2 weeks for our information pack to arrive. I think they do it just to make sure you are really interested.:-)
Ellie

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23

Thursday, December 3rd 2009, 4:42pm

Hi Becs!!!

Can't believe that I missed this and I am sooooo excited that you are exploring adoption.

I reckon, like everything that the road will be rocky and there will be obsticles put in your way but I know you are such a determined woman and obviously a wonderful mum that you and DH can overcome them all :D

As for the pack not arriving yet - calm down paranoia woman! Do you reckon it is more likely to be because you are dealing with social services and then the wonder of the post office. Two places not known for their prompt actions????? Just a thought :snigger:

It is going to be an interesting 2010!!!!!

xxx



5 August got a natural out of the blue:BFP: after 7 years of trying!!! How the heck did THAT happen - oh yeah by losing weight :D


Dreams really can come true.......


Welshbird

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24

Thursday, December 3rd 2009, 4:50pm

Thanks hun - It arrived last night :snigger:

Me and DH had a good read, but there are a few things in it that we are not sure about and had us umming and arring about the whole thing.

There is a section that says if you have had any medical condition that has has lead to seeing a consultant, then they want all reports from this consultant.

Like ive said previously, DH has bad kidneys. I dont mean that they ache now an again, i mean they are BAD! One doesnt work and the other works just 90% - he see's consultants every 6-12mths for different sorts of scans and tests etc. he hasnt been able to get health insurance because of this - as soon as the insurance company gets his medical reports, they refuse him!! For him to actually get in touch with all consultants (also at our own expense) would take an age, he has been seeing them since the day he was born ... im really not sure he could go thru with another rejection of this kind if he belives we were refused because of this. Does anyone have any idea about this???

chatterbox

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Thursday, December 3rd 2009, 5:00pm

I phoned my friend last night Bec, and we're meeting over the weekend for a cuppa and a proper chat about stuff! :D

Me 40 DH 35 TTC 10yr
peritoneal mesothelioma, cystectomy 97 & 00
peritonectomy, lost both tubes & most of left ovary Aug 07


Dec 07 BFP b/ov m/c 9.6wk
July 08 BFN
Dec 08 BFP b/ov m/c 9.6wk

July 09 BFN
Nov 09 BFP 2 x sacs 1 b/o 1 no hrtbt m/c 9.2wk
May10 BFP at 8+4 m/mc @10wk scan ERPC

Found: High NK cells, DQ Alpha match, LAD neg & PAI-1 pos...

NOV 2010 - Immune IVF at CARE Manchester
:BFP: [zx076] :girl: born 25/8/11

OCT 2012 - Immune IVF at CARE Manchester
:BFP: [zx076] :boy: born 24/6/13

Welshbird

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Thursday, December 3rd 2009, 5:06pm

Lol, ok hun - print off my questions hehehe an see what she thinks lol

Xxx

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27

Monday, December 7th 2009, 5:37pm

Hey Becky
I just noticed the change in your sig on the NI thread, and just wanted to wish you and your DH all the very best on your adoption road. I am adopted and I feel truely blessed to have had the life I have had.....
Good luck with it all, patience and perserverance!!!!

A
8 X BFN Clomid & Metformin
9th round - Mar 09 150 Clomid :BFP: SHOCKED

BraveGirl

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Monday, December 7th 2009, 5:48pm

that is so amazing, congratulations becs. Hope you get a little one soon.

I am adopted (aged 4 months) and I had a wonderful experience.

Dont know about waiting lists but in my area you have to have stopped trying to concieve before they will let you apply.
IVF 1 :BFP: baby5 in heaven 6 weeks
IVF 5 :BFP: Immune protocol Care Sheffield
Oscar Miles arrived 15 April 2011 weighing 6lbs 14oz
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This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "BraveGirl" (Dec 7th 2009, 5:49pm)


mrs_smiff

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29

Tuesday, December 8th 2009, 4:42pm

Oh Becs I've only just seen this, what a fabulous lady you are!! I wish you and B all the very best with this. It takes someone special to even consider it. Fingers crossed there will be no obstacles and one day soon you'll be breaking the news that your special little one has been found and is waiting for you. xxx
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



Val123

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Wednesday, December 9th 2009, 10:12am

Good luck with everything. I hope all goes well and you are approved for adopting. From what I've heard it can be a really long drawn out process - took my cousin about 5 years to get a baby - she got a little boy at 18 months, but after waiting all that time, one year later she was given his little sister from birth as a foster carer and went on to adopt her too :happy: Now she says the 5 year wait was worth it, cos she ended up with her perfect little family, one boy and one girl and also had the joy of a newborn.

Did you ever consider surrogacy, as you wanted this to be your DH's baby? Straight surrogacy could be an option for you if the whole adoption thing doesn't come to fruition. That's what me and DH had to do because of our ages, and I had a deep desire that DH should have his own biological child having been such a great dad to my daughter.

I look forward to following your updates and hope that everything works out perfectly. But try not to worry about ancillary things like dogs, garages etc. etc. I know it's easy to say and you will be really apprehensive about it - but I remember when my DH adopted my daughter, the social worker was really lovely. They won't expect you to do building works at this stage, as long as you tell them what your future plans are that will be fine.

Good luck with everything.

Val x
Val & Mike - expecting our little Miracle Princess after 15 years of ttc - all thanks to our wonderful friend and surrogate Sharon :happy:

Welshbird

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31

Wednesday, December 9th 2009, 10:49am

Hi Guys,

I feel a bit bad cos I haven’t updated here at all. There really isn’t much to tell tbh, we have read an read the info pack (just a few leaflets) and have now got to make an appt for a home visit. Not sure how long that takes, but I know that we are to ring them, as I recall the woman on the phone saying that they would ring me or my DH at work to see how we still felt after reading the info. I don’t want to take personal calls about summit like that at work, so she said we were to ring them!

Still haven’t plucked up the courage for that either. Think we going to wait until after New Year to see how we feel. Its going to be so hard this year it being the first anniversary of my m/c and also this Christmas was meant to be our best ever yet with our baby.

Going off the subject for a bit … I was putting up the decorations, and came across a box of cards from last year – as I was reading them, I came across the card I had bought for DH … with a teddy on the front saying – Happy Christmas for the Daddy to be …. And the wording inside broke my heart all over again …

Anyhow … im trying not to dwell on this and to look fwd, its just so dam hard sometimes!!




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