You are not logged in.


Unread posts

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

kim

Ace

  • "kim" started this thread

Posts: 409

Reg: Feb 6th 2008

Location: worcester

  • Send private message

1

Wednesday, October 21st 2009, 3:12pm

Surrogacy - Minefield!

Hi All
After 3 failed ivf and some health worries this year i now am at the point when i have to look at other ways of having a baby.However i must confess surrogacy is so scary,i though ivf had its ups and downs but i fine this topic a minefield.we need a host as eggs and sperm are fine.
I have joined a chat site ,but i dont know, i guess im just scared !
Has anyone done or is thinking about doing surrogacy ?
Could someone please give me some advice ? ?(

thanks
:rolleyes:



April 08 - :BFN
August 08 - :BFN
January 09 - :BFN


Marlene

MEMBER

Posts: 2,094

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Somewhere near to a rainbow

Thanks: 18 / 38

  • Send private message

2

Wednesday, October 21st 2009, 10:11pm

Hi Kim

I didnt want to read and run, but I am afraid I do not have any knowledgeof surragacy. I Hope someone will pop along and be able to give you some personal advice or point you in the right direction.

I hope you find some answers and goodluck for the future

x


Beautiful Daughter and gorgeous Son through adoption, my family now complete , 2009 started our journey and complete Oct 2012 ....

parteepartee

Posts: 2,505

Reg: May 2nd 2007

Children: A boy and a girl, both living in London

  • Send private message

3

Thursday, October 22nd 2009, 10:46am

RE: Surrogacy - Minefield!

Hi Kim,

Surrogacy can be problematic for emotional and legal reasons, but it has been around for a long time and most surrogacy goes ahead quietly and successfully behind the scenes without problem. But it is still a big, big decision to go into surrogacy.

COTS (Childlessness Overcome by Surrogacy) is the oldest surrogacy agency, started by your namesake Kim Cotton. Kim was the first public surrogate and battled for the rights of people who needed this approach, and who became well known because of her work. I knew Kim some years ago and she is a very genuine woman who worked hard for COTS. For a little while I was a counsellor for COTS, seeing both commissioning couples and surrogates, and can fully support the work done by COTS. There are other good agencies doing similar work, and many HFEA licenced fertility clinics are happy to work with surrogacy. If you get hold of a copy of the new HFEA Guide for patients, this may help you in finding medical support and advice.

Keep in touch and PM me if you want to discuss this further.

Paul

Good luck
Fertility Scientist and Andrologist
Fertility Counsellor, Holistic Therapist and Hypnotherapist
Providing Fertility Information, Assessment and Enhancement.
Natural family planning teacher.

Posts: 323

Reg: Aug 13th 2008

Location: London

  • Send private message

4

Tuesday, October 27th 2009, 11:19am

Hi Kim


I totally understand what you are saying. the whole surrogacy thing scares me but it is something that i am seriously considering doing. I spoke to a friend of a friend the other night who had done it. She had a daughter about 9 years ago and then for some reason she just couldnt get pregnant and after doing ivf for 8 years she decided to opt for host surrogacy. After looking into to all the legal logistics she opted to do hers in America. Apparently California and Massuchsettes (spelling?) is the best option when it comes to all things legal. Apparently if you do surrogacy in the UK and the embryo is yours the surrogate will still have legal rights over the baby. whereas in both those states the child is legally yours.

She had her 2 (frozen) embryos transferred over to the clinic in the US and was lucky her surrogate got pregnant and she now has twins (2years old). She started the whole process by speaking to her clinic in the UK then finding the right match clinic in the US, she also sort legal advice and had a lawyer here and in the UK. They took the babies home after 2 weeks (they were premature) and has occasional contact with her surrogate just to let her know how the girls are getting on. She said the experience was a minefield and costly but as long as you got the right clinics and surroagate (of course) she would do it all again in a heartbeat and wished she hadnt put herself through all the ivf cycles had she know what an amazing experience surrogacy would of been.

Anyway this is just what i have been told and i am sure other people will have their own thoughts and experiences. Im just about to go see my consultant to dicuss doing a hysteroscopy before starting ivf again, but i am going to speak to him about the surrogacy idea as well. I hope all your dreams come true whatever you decide to do next.

Monkey xx
] xfingers

kim

Ace

  • "kim" started this thread

Posts: 409

Reg: Feb 6th 2008

Location: worcester

  • Send private message

5

Thursday, October 29th 2009, 1:25pm

Hi All
Thank you for your replies.Paul thanks for your kind advice and we are looking into it.
Monkey you are a star ,i thought i was losing the plot !Now i know others have thought the same i dont feel so bad.Your friend has the rite idea so we will look into the the U.S side of things.Good luck with your app and let me know how you get on.
Again, you all are very kind to take the time to reply



April 08 - :BFN
August 08 - :BFN
January 09 - :BFN


Posts: 323

Reg: Aug 13th 2008

Location: London

  • Send private message

6

Friday, October 30th 2009, 9:15am

HI kim

all went ok with consultant. they want me to do hysteroscopy and then either go straight into a fresh cycle or use my (4)frozen embryos they will decide once i have had hysteroscopy. I didnt realise but under surrey i have 2 funded cycles (i thought i just had one) and as my lining was ok over 6 with last cycle they think maybe doing a fresh will work better for me...

So i am going to give it one last shot and in the meantime try and find more about surrogacy. I have given my details to a couple of online ageniies but havent heard anythng back yet...

Let me know how you get on to please! I hope we get there in the end whatever way we choose.xxxx
] xfingers

Posts: 3,962

Reg: Jul 21st 2009

Location: Halifax

Children: 2 angels watching over us & our precious DD Scarlett Leigh <3

Thanks: 9 / 0

  • Send private message

7

Friday, October 30th 2009, 9:30am

There is a new-ish woman on here, who acts as a Surrogate for loads of different people.

It's not the first time she's done it, and would be able to offer great support. Sorry I can't remember her name, but sure it had surrogate in it. Hopefully she'll be able to come along and help soon :smile:

Good luck :happy:
April 12 - IVF - :BFP:

April 17 - Here we go again!

kim

Ace

  • "kim" started this thread

Posts: 409

Reg: Feb 6th 2008

Location: worcester

  • Send private message

8

Wednesday, November 11th 2009, 2:25pm

Thank you ladies,hey monkey that all sounds good news well done and keep in touch.lets hope that lady pops in and offers some advice as i dont know what to do next !!i have to wait until next year on health grounds so i have time to think !
thanks again



April 08 - :BFN
August 08 - :BFN
January 09 - :BFN


Tinkerbell09

Member left

  • "Tinkerbell09" is no longer a member of FZ
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 4,123

Reg: Aug 31st 2009

Location: Uk North West

Children: LWH

  • Send private message

9

Thursday, November 12th 2009, 4:11pm

I thought about surrogacy a while back because i have had multiple missed miscarriages " unexplained" i talked with a lady who is a member of COTS and they do seem to be a really good site and its professional etc but the cost to be a member of the site is really expensive nearly £1000 thats before anything elsa and the membership does run out so if you have not found a surrogate before your membership ends then you have to pay that fee again :sadface: I know that quite a few ladies have found there surrogate mum from cots so if its somthing you really want to do and can afford the membership fee then i would highley recommend cots :smile: :hugs:

Posts: 2,505

Reg: May 2nd 2007

Children: A boy and a girl, both living in London

  • Send private message

10

Thursday, November 12th 2009, 7:59pm

I used to do some counselling work for COTS, both of couples and of potential surrogates. This was some years ago, but I had a high regard for COTS and for Kim Cotton, whom I got to know.

I can't speak for how they are now, nor about the £1000 joining fee, which sounds way out of proportion, but I would recommend that you make contact and at least consider what they are offering. I might also get in touch directly and let you know what I come up with.

Paul
Fertility Scientist and Andrologist
Fertility Counsellor, Holistic Therapist and Hypnotherapist
Providing Fertility Information, Assessment and Enhancement.
Natural family planning teacher.

Tinkerbell09

Member left

  • "Tinkerbell09" is no longer a member of FZ
  • United Kingdom

Posts: 4,123

Reg: Aug 31st 2009

Location: Uk North West

Children: LWH

  • Send private message

11

Friday, November 13th 2009, 1:59pm

Here is the link to cots about the 1yr fee if you click on expenses
it tells you what this fee includes etc http://www.surrogacy.org.uk/ip-info.htm :smile:

Posts: 323

Reg: Aug 13th 2008

Location: London

  • Send private message

12

Saturday, November 14th 2009, 5:23pm

thanks I will deffo have a look at this. Have been looking at international surrogacy and which is also incredibly expensive. xx
] xfingers

Posts: 4

Reg: Nov 25th 2009

Location: South

  • Send private message

13

Wednesday, November 25th 2009, 12:18pm



Hi

Unfortunately you are right that surrogacy can be very expensive.

I am a specialist fertility solicitor at ***** who have a team of fertiltiy lawyers that have experience in both domestic and international surrogacy.

** moderator edited: please contact the team if you wish to advertise your services to our members **

lgft

Newbie

Posts: 17

Reg: Mar 31st 2008

Location: Cheshire

Children: Mummy of 4, 2 :) :) and 2 angel babies ...

  • Send private message

14

Wednesday, December 16th 2009, 10:44pm

*a little wish* surrogacy group

Surrogacy does not have to be a minefield and can be a wonderful experience for all involved :)

There are other groups as well as cots. We had our babies via *a little wish*

To start you off there is a booklet to read 'notes for surrogacy' and if you read over the membership forms that will give you more information to to discuss to know what is involved.
*a little wish* are stakeholders for many professional bodies and are involved in many consultations.

They are informed, friendly and welcoming

:cuddle xx
Michelle Hickman - Illigal n unnecessary post pregnancy hysterectomy


Posts: 4

Reg: Nov 25th 2009

Location: South

  • Send private message

15

Thursday, February 4th 2010, 9:44am

Hi all

Please be aware that if you are considering international surrogacy you really do need to get legal advice from an English solicitor too - specifically a fertility specialist.

Increasingly I am coming across people that have been told by the clinic in eg. US, India, that once all the contracts are dealt with in US/India they are the legal parents of the child. Unfortunately that is not the case. You need to obtain an order in the English courts and involve immigration authorities too.

I don't want to put you all off of international surrogacy, just wanted to warn you to do a bit of legal research too when planning.

x

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Eeyore" (Feb 6th 2010, 4:41pm) with the following reason: We have requested that you contact us before advising our members/advertising your services


Posts: 2

Reg: May 19th 2011

  • Send private message

16

Thursday, May 19th 2011, 12:44pm

surrogacy in asia

We were recommended a clinic in india and now chose surrogate mother with them. we know we will need to go through the embassy and also in uk, but we were told that they will take care of everything. our friends did a surrogacy with this clinic last year, there were some delays in baby registration, but in general they have positive experience.
What would you advise to take into account when working with clinics abroad? I would not want any troubles... Any feedback is much appreciated.

jnine

Newbie

Posts: 6

Reg: Apr 17th 2012

  • Send private message

17

Tuesday, April 17th 2012, 6:20pm

Surrogacy Abroad

Hi,
There are a few options for Surrogacy abroad - not all the clinics are as good as each other, so research is important and speaking to past patients. UK parents require a single/divorced surrogate- otherwise the surrogate's husband is regarded as the father under UK law and makes the parental order process far more difficult and expensive. Countries that offer legal surrogacy may offer to put both your names on the birth certificate, however you need the surrogate's name on the birth certificate and if unmarried, your male partners name on as the father. The surrogate, after 6 weeks, will need to sign an official document surrendering rights to the baby/babies. The good clinics are aware of this process and will help you with the paperwork. It's also a good idea to contact the Embassy in the country you're proceeding in to check what they require for the baby's travel documents to return home.
If a clinic tells you they'll 'take care of everything', don't assume they will- do your own research. Hope that helps.




FERTILITYZONE



MEDHURST – PROUD HOSTS OF FERTILITYZONE