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-Gem-

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  • "-Gem-" started this thread

Posts: 1

Reg: Jun 2nd 2009

Location: Bradford, UK

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1

Tuesday, June 2nd 2009, 3:58pm

Hi all...Our Journey..

Hi all,

My name is Gemma, I am 21 years old. When I was 18 I was diagnosed with Androgen Insensitity Syndrome, I was born with no womb or ovaries and no chance of becoming a mum naturally. Its not all bad - I have never had a period and have the worlds biggest sex drive so its swings and roundabouts. One thing my disorders have taught me is that in life always see the silver lining. Never just see the clouds.


Luckily for me i have so much support from my medical team, my family and my long term partner. We have been together since i was 16.

I recently wrote to my specialist at Leeds General Infirmary who has been like a rock to me, infact i cannot thank him enough for all that he has done for me. Truly he is a great great man. I advised him that i wanted children by the time i was 25 (having discussed it with O.H of course).

My Professor/specialist invited me and my partner to a fertility clinic and we discussed surrogacy. If i am completley honest it seemed like the best option as my partner is fertile.

We were given lots of information and advised to start a baby book which i have done. The next step would be to test my partners sperm which is booked for mid July time.

Some of the information shocked me to my core. Neither of us are religous in any way shape or form yet we had to be married to apply for a parental order once the child was born and that the birth mummy had six whole long weeks to take our baby away and even though it was genetically ours there is nothing we can do about it. How can this be fair.

Just more hoops that we will have to jump through that seem completley unnessasary. Luckily its all NHS funded due to my condition however we must find the surrogate..!!

The only person willing to help is my mum who is 43 already. In four years time she will be 47 and not only is there an increased risk of other genetic disorders but i feel like im going to be waiting for my mums bloody menopause to start..!!

So here is the BIG £64m question do we have my mums eggs frozen now so that the babies will be gentically related to me incase my mum does go into menopause or do we bring the whole thing forward and start treatment striaght away.

The thing is that were really not ready yet and dont want to be rushed. Now is not the right time, ive still a year of my degree to finish and we have little money for a baby.

Also our families are from social backgrounds where we have been blessed with private educations and trust funds and would want to provide that for our children aswell.

We get one shot at this and we want to get it right first time.

Thanks for reading, its been good just to get it all out on paper to be honest..!!





I am starting a Diary/Book which i will publish when our Babies arrive. You will all have a front row seat to the entire process.
Wants to be a mummy :o)

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "-Gem-" (Jun 2nd 2009, 4:01pm)


  • "bouncytigger" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 6,782

Reg: Mar 9th 2008

Location: 100 Acre Wood

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2

Tuesday, June 2nd 2009, 4:38pm

Wow - hello!

I can't answer the question as it's so personal to you - you have to do what is right for you, but didn't want to read and run.
Welcome to FZ :bye:
ICSI number 5 - BFP!! :boy: :girl: arrived December 2010

Posts: 217

Reg: Jun 4th 2008

Location: fishbowl

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3

Tuesday, June 9th 2009, 10:41pm

Do whats right for you and your family
Me 43

TTC 6 years
12x clomid BFN
3 IUIS BFN
2 IUI's overstimulated
1 natural preg m/c Dec 07
Adoption journey started April04/09

Now a mummy

Posts: 711

Reg: Feb 4th 2009

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4

Wednesday, June 10th 2009, 9:25pm

Hi Gem

Welcome to FZ

I don't have any answers i'm afraid, you can only do what is right for you and your family.

Good Luck, nic xxxx

Posts: 388

Reg: May 28th 2009

Location: Buxton

Children: One day - I hope and pray!!

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5

Monday, June 22nd 2009, 3:08pm

Wow reading your story .. so much of it mirrors my life. I too have no ovaries and womb, Ive had to have a full hysterectomy due to being born without a cervix (MRKH) and getting severe endometriosis.

I am only 22 years old but since I had my hysterectomy at 17 I have been thinking about surrogacy. Incidentally I had my hysterectomy in LGI, I wonder whether we had the same consultant? He always told me that when I was ready to start a family to come back to him and I do intend to. My mum has offered her eggs to me also she is 44 so I am assuming that the doctors wont entertain that idea, we will find out next week when I do see my gynae. I am hoping that when I see my gynae in stockport next week we will be sent back to LGI as that is very much where I would like my journey to become a mum to be. I feel horribly enough at home there. Please feel free to get in touch with me. I wish you all the luck in the world. As far as your mum donating her eggs, if you truly want your baby to genetically related to you then do it, but just remember that the odds are not fantastic and with your mums age, the odds are going to be even more against you, it is a battle I have fought for a good long while myself.

I hope all your hopes and dreams come true

:xxx:




May 01 - diagnosed with Endo via lap.
July 01 - diagnosed with MRKH
April 02: 1st Reconstrutive operation.
August 02: 2nd Reconstructive operation
May 04: Hysterectomy
May 08: Ovaries removed



House Deposit: £800/£8k

lgft

Newbie

Posts: 17

Reg: Mar 31st 2008

Location: Cheshire

Children: Mummy of 4, 2 :) :) and 2 angel babies ...

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6

Monday, June 22nd 2009, 7:41pm

There is good news and bad news

Good news is that you no longer have to be married to obtain the prental order - http://surrogacy.a-little-wish.co.uk/sur…nd-answers.aspx

For the Patental order it can only be started at 6 weeks BUT it is not finalised for many months and so the surrogate can not support the order for many months and try to have the baby(ies) returned.

Good news is that most of the time the courts have awarded the baby to the intended parents (examples of this can be found on the website above)

Due to your mums age it would be unlikely that the clinic would recommend that she donate her eggs to you.

Surrogacy is espensive and host surrogacy even more so, that cannot be avoided :(

There is a lot of information to learn about surrogacy and many people do find a way though. It can feel impossible (we have been there) but often a way though can be found.

Dont give up.

hugs xx

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Michelle Hickman - Illigal n unnecessary post pregnancy hysterectomy





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