You are not logged in.


Unread posts

The guest access to this forum was limited. Overall there are 23 Postings in this thread.
To read them all you should register yourself.

Dear visitor, welcome to FertilityZone . If this is your first visit here, please read the Help. It explains in detail how this page works. To use all features of this page, you should consider registering. Please use the registration form, to register here or read more information about the registration process. If you are already registered, please login here.

  • "kimarie" started this thread

Posts: 122

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: England

  • Send private message

1

Wednesday, March 4th 2009, 12:37pm

Chance of having to use donor sperm

We are going for our fertility consultation at LWC in Darlington due to a bad sperm analysis and my OH keeps saying we will probably have to use donor sperm or asking what I would want to do if they didn't find any sperm.

However his SA didn't say there was no sperm, just a very low count and the sperm that was there had low motility and morphology and there was no chance of conceiving naturally but I was under the impression this wouldn't matter if we were using ICSI and we could use whatever is there even if it doesn't move?
Natural :BFP: with sperm antibodies

Jo101

Star

Posts: 1,033

Reg: Mar 18th 2008

Children: None yet

  • Send private message

2

Wednesday, March 4th 2009, 12:49pm

Hi Kimarie,

Well my DH has just has SSR and not much sperm was found in our case but enough for one round of ICSI i.e. 4 or 5 that were viable options.

We were told that the changes of fertilisation with immotile sperm would be very low luckily we found enough motile ones.

Best of luck

Jo x

2nd IVF :BFP:

Posts: 2,505

Reg: May 2nd 2007

Children: A boy and a girl, both living in London

  • Send private message

3

Wednesday, March 4th 2009, 9:03pm

RE: Chance of having to use donor sperm

Quoted

We are going for our fertility consultation at LWC in Darlington due to a bad sperm analysis and my OH keeps saying we will probably have to use donor sperm or asking what I would want to do if they didn't find any sperm.



Hi Kimarie,

You are quite right that virtually any sperm collected can be used for ICSI.

However I think that OH is anticipating the worst scenario, and would like to talk about your thoughts on using donor sperm. This might not arise, but he is obvious anxious to talk about donor sperm - and I feel that you need to give him the opportunity to do so, and for him to hear what you feel about this. It is a very important discussion to have and needs to be had before you have to - calmly and privately, in the privacy of your home. Certainly not at the last moment in the clinic.

Lke most men he will have his fears about using donor sperm. Many questions come into men's heads in this situation. Will you still respect him if he cannot give you a baby, what's the point of making love now that he cannot get you pregnant, will he be able to love this baby that is not genetically his, will the baby grow to love him, will you always fantasise about the donor - this man who really got you preganant? All questions that he may need reassurance about.

Silly or irrelevant though most of his fears may seem to be, he obviously needs to talk them through with you.

So make the time to talk, and come to some conclusions about donor sperm, which hopefully you may never need. He will then feel much happy about the future.

Good luck

Paul
Fertility Scientist and Andrologist
Fertility Counsellor, Holistic Therapist and Hypnotherapist
Providing Fertility Information, Assessment and Enhancement.
Natural family planning teacher.

  • "kimarie" started this thread

Posts: 122

Reg: Feb 5th 2009

Location: England

  • Send private message

4

Wednesday, March 4th 2009, 9:18pm

Thanks Paul, we have talked about it on many occasions when looking into ICSI and after he got his results back, most of the time he is saying he wouldn't mind, would love the baby etc. (He adopted a child in his previous marriage, so knows he can love a child which is not genetically), but then other times, he keeps questioning me about it, the most recent at 5am this morning!

I think I would have a bigger problem with him with it actually, I'm one to dwell on things and he asked me if I would love it the same this morning and in my half asleep state apparently said "no, i'll always be wondering where it came from".

I hope they give you counselling for this X(
Natural :BFP: with sperm antibodies

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "kimarie" (Mar 4th 2009, 9:19pm)


Posts: 2,505

Reg: May 2nd 2007

Children: A boy and a girl, both living in London

  • Send private message

5

Wednesday, March 4th 2009, 11:43pm

Quoted

I hope they give you counselling for this


What ever is going on in his mind, he clearly has some way to go before he will feel totally right about donor sperm. Which is normal!

There has to be a counsellor available in the unit, but how available and when, can vary from unit to unit.

You may need to ask, and perhaps push for this. Also you need to have your counselling with some time afterwards to consider and talk about what 'came up' for you both.

Counselling should not simply be a preliminary to your saying 'Yes'. It should be a full discussion about how you both really feel, plus information and question answering about what is involved. Then you go away, and next morning, at 5 am you talk about the counselling session!!

Using donor sperm is just the start, not the end, of the process. You then have to live with the results of your decision. In practice from having run a donor insemination clinic for 20 years plus, I know that this can work, and once decided on, it works out well, with happy results for all concerned.

Good luck,

Paul
xx
Fertility Scientist and Andrologist
Fertility Counsellor, Holistic Therapist and Hypnotherapist
Providing Fertility Information, Assessment and Enhancement.
Natural family planning teacher.

The guest access to this forum was limited. Overall there are 23 Postings in this thread.
To read them all you should register yourself.




FERTILITYZONE



MEDHURST – PROUD HOSTS OF FERTILITYZONE