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Sun Flower


  • "Sun Flower" started this thread

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Tuesday, October 14th 2008, 11:04am

What is next??? Donor???

Hi everyone
we had very bad news yesterday, DH SSR showed a few sperm which were severly abnormal and dead, the other tissue samples taken showed niothing at all :bawl: we are devasted and we spent the night talking and thinking and being angry and being upset and just hugging each other. We understand that there is nothing there to freeze or use for ICSI so now we feel ready to get our heads around stuff and thing about the next step, we have review with con on 20th Oct, what will he suggest? Will we be offered the chance to use donor sperm? What is the process for that? Not sure this is what we want to do yet, but we have chatted about it as an option, we feel it is our only option at the moment ?(

Anyone been in this position and been offered other options? We are trying to be realistic and honest with what is possible, we know we need a mircale and as we dont have a magic wand, we realistcally want to know what our options are??

any ideas??

Thank you xxxx



Posts: 1,337

Reg: Apr 21st 2008

Location: Northern Ireland

Children: Pregnant with baby #1 due 24/11

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Tuesday, October 14th 2008, 11:08am

Hi Sunflower,

So sorry it was bad news yesterday :hugs:

I just didn't want to read and run.
DS born 03/12/09



Posts: 5,851

Reg: Oct 25th 2007

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Tuesday, October 14th 2008, 12:46pm

Hello there

So sorry to hear your news, you have an awful lot to think about right now and so take some time! If you do decide to go the donor route then feel free to give me a shout and I can give you some info then!

Till then sending you lhugs :hugs: xxx

3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP :D
Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076] [zx076] TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09



Posts: 3,648

Reg: Jan 30th 2008

Location: Outer London

Children: Soon !!

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Tuesday, October 14th 2008, 10:08pm

Hello Sweetie xxx

Well I dont know to much myself , as Indie said when you have had some time to digest all of this and get your head round it , Indie is a font of info and will help you loads xxx

I can imgaine that you want to weigh up your options and think about things
but if you are wanting to know whats involved to help make choices
It could be worth while, reading the diui and iui diarys .
I imagine, should you choose to go with the donar route , Iui and Diui will be the route that you will be taking.

Here the link to those dairys hun xxx

AZOOSPERMIA confirmed 01/2008
TESE sucessfull 08/09
Reconstruction failed 11/09 .
Icsi June 13 - Bfn
Feb2014 = Natural cycle icsi bfn



Posts: 9,468

Reg: Jun 11th 2007

Children: Boy/girl twins born 2010

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Wednesday, October 15th 2008, 9:22am

Hi Sunflower

Oh sweetie - what a day you must have had :sadface:

I can only imagine how upsetting it must have been not to have good news. :cuddle

By the way you described it, it sounds like he had a TESE ?( I thought he was having a PESA though it may be that they tried that first and then proceeded on to taking tissue samples.

It's just not the news I wanted for you honey :tear:

As far as what happens next.... well of course there's donor sperm and as you know, Indie is the expert on this one and has a very happy ending to her struggles.

Indie had DIUI (donor sperm using IUI) though some go straight for IVF with donor sperm. You wouldn't have ICSI as this is only for couples with male factor issues and any donor sperm has to be of a certain quality so it would be IVF and therefore slightly cheaper.

If I were you, I'd just take this time to come to terms with yesterday's huge disappointment and go to the consult on the 20th and just see what they say. I've no doubt the above options will come up and in addition, they may raise adoption though if you're like me, I'm sure you'll want to exhaust all other options first. I'm not saying adoption is a last resort at all! but I know for me, I'd need to know that I'd tried everything if that makes sense ?(

All I mean by this is that if you're not ready to face those *other options* just now, your clinic may suggest a repeat procedure in six months. However, they are the experts and if they say six months won't see any change then you would have to go with their advice.

Whilst my DH's SSRs have always been successful and we've had three ICSI cycles, all of which had varying degrees of fertilisation of eggs and sperm, just to say that they still mention donor sperm to us. I think in their eyes it would definitely increase our chances of having a baby and for them I guess that's what they're trying to achieve.

I guess the frustrating thing for you both at the moment will be that the reason behind this is unknown and I hope your clinic will help pursue this further.


5th time :BFP:
:boy: :girl:

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