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Posts: 194

Reg: May 5th 2008

Location: London

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51

Sunday, July 27th 2008, 5:50pm

Fee

Have you been to see the clinic about the pain you are having? I know that after ec for at least a couple of months I had all manner of gripes and grumbles in my ovaries and was told quite normal. Its just ovaries getting back to normal. But think it would be worth checking out.

Bet both Mel and Buhito having fun on their hols. 8)

How are your little kittens. Our one is growing up really fast. Let her out in the garden for the first time. She loved it. :cat:


Bx

Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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52

Sunday, July 27th 2008, 7:00pm

Bunny,
Yes i bet they are having a great time - mind you it's been hot enough here hasn't it over the last few days.
Our kittens are great, they also went out for the first time a week or so ago after being spayed and microchipped. They are having a lovely time chasing butterflies and even climbing the tree. I took my dog swimming today at a big lake it was lovely to see her having such a great time [zx145]
No i didn't ring the clinic about the pains, like everyone has said it is everything settling back to normal, it is alot better than before, but like you say loads of funny gripes and twinges! My second AF after treatment is 5 days late at the moment, but i have read this is normal.
What colour is your kitten? One of ours is a tabby with flecks of ginger and the offer calico - white with tortoseshell, black and ginger on the back and head. We called them Bramble and fudge.
Bunny, i am feeling really down at the moment and really dispondant (probably spelt wrong!) You know how it gets. Just can't seem to get interested in anything :bawl: Hopefully it will pass. We had a lady out from fostering this week on the phone they said it didn't matter if we were going through ivf we could still apply. But when another lady came here she was here 10min and said we would have to wait till we had finished ivf for good! :8o: Left abit shell shocked.

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Fee" (Jul 27th 2008, 7:04pm)


Posts: 194

Reg: May 5th 2008

Location: London

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53

Sunday, August 3rd 2008, 5:30pm

glad you are feeling a bit better. I just remember it that whole womb area feeling just wierd. And yes my second af was late. I think in fact they count it as your first actual period. You know I actually think it took at least a whole 3 months to feel more normal. My 3rd af after period was horrid - terrible pmt but am finding it much better this month.

We called our little kitten Tala, shes so sweet. Black and white fluffy, looks just like the felix cat. Now I really hope you dont think me completely mad. I have never had a female cat before, female dogs we've had but not a female cat. Well we are also getting round to the time to get her spayed.... is this mad, but did you have a bit of a problem with this. Somehow it feels all a bit ironic. I keep thinking that because of what I am going through can I really stop my cat having kittens. God I am sure anyone who doesnt have cats reading this will think I have gone utterly mad. That maybe. I really dont want to be a cat breeder and know that cat aids means I have got to get her spayed but i just keep ignoring the issue!... oh dear where have my marbles gone.

Following on from what you said about feeling low. I SOOOOOOOO know what you mean. I have though spent the last month totally throwing myself into work, socialising and it has helped. I do think that its helped to know when I am going to start my next attempt. But I was saying to dh today that when I stop work for next attempt I have to keep busy. An idle mind is a sure fire way to see my plummit back to those depths. I dont find anything really helps because its always there in the back of your mind... but finding some distraction has to be the only way until go no.2. When are you planning your next cycle?

I am sorry to hear about the foster situation. I had heard about this happening before to a girl who was on just clomid. She was told she wouldnt be considered until at least 6 months after coming off clomid. I think this is so unfair. I totally believe that if you make the decision to adopt that you would still go ahead with it even if you got pregnant. After all most of want more than one kid....even though just one kid would be better than none... right.

Am off on my hols for a week this friday. Just cant wait. I see it as another week of complete escapism and distraction!

bx

Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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54

Monday, August 4th 2008, 4:25pm

Hello ladies!
Well I am back! Had a great time although very tiring so knackered now! Little Holly had a fab time, she found a couple of friends and they were inseperable for the whole 2 weeks which was nice for us as we were able to relax a bit more and do stuff together. Even managed a few evening out on our own!! Which resulted in money being blown at the casino and a hangover the following morning :headache
Worth it tho as we had a real laugh which we desperately needed!
Anyway, back to things with a bang!
Got home Saturday expecting to find the results from DH DNA de-fragmentation test and he asked me to open it to read only to discover it was the result of my anti mullerian thingy me bob test. The results werent good.... but then given the crappy luck we have there is no surprise there! Apparently my reserve is low for my age at (13.8 with a satisfactory level being 15) and they think this could be the reason for no fertilisation last time. They have said that although it is on the low side they still believe it worthwhile having another attempt with ICSI.
I just dont know what to do. thinkthink
DH hasnt had the results from his test yet and he is convinced that there will be a problem there to. Help me girls? What would you do? These are our options (according to us, not the docs)

1-Another go at ICSI - next AF - just my eggs
2-Another go at ICSI - next AF - mine + donor eggs
3-Another go at IVF - all donor eggs (possibly abroad as massive waiting list!!
3-Give up and curse my reproductive system to hell?

If anyone else out there reads this and has a low reserve and has acheived fertilisation I would be pleased to hear from you.

Can things get much worse?? Surely DH result will be ok! Starting to feel like I have done something hideous in a previous life!

bigcloud

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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55

Monday, August 4th 2008, 6:08pm

Hi Mel welcome back, glad Holly and you both had a good time, that two weeks went really quick.

Mel you must do what your heart tells you to do. We are all gambling on our next go aren't we, do what you want to do. I do not think you are ready to give up yet, so you can cross off no.3! We are going to try half DH and half DS so i might have more of an idea if it is my eggs if it fails again. We are not in a financial position to use half donor eggs but if you are, go for it girl i would :smile:
Would you be happy going straight for donor eggs without giving yours another chance? Half and half is a safer back up.
On the note of donor eggs i looked at a clinic in czech Republic £4,500 including flights accommodation etc. But a 3 month wait then they freeze the fertilised eggs until 6 months when they test for hIV.
How many AF's will that be since your last go Mel? (also how long in time?) I posted a thread earlier as still waiting for my second AF after EC and it is 12 days late. If it carries on like this it will be Christmas before i get another go? [zx037] Don't really know how long to wait. :sadface:

B,
I know what you mean about the kitty thing, but they can get pregnant so easily and at such a young age it is safer for them to be spayed. Mind you if i hadn't taken ours to the vets i would have had to keep all the potential kittens and we would be over run! Two are a handfull! Like i have been saying to Mel i wanted to start my next cycle day one Sept 25th and Day 21 October but everything is late, all my plans have gone out the window. That would have been on my third AF. nearly 4 months after EC. Perhaps it will come soon. Sick of running to the chemist everytime i am late and getting that huge disappointment. No point dreaming i am pregnant tho again.
Also rang the adoption people lat week again as i thought you also have to wait 6 months till after treatment and it you are going through the process and you conceive naturally you can't adopt as they require 3 years between a newborn. What got me is one fostering lady was lovely on the phone and said the ivf didn't matter and then a stuck up cow came round and stayed 10min and said the ivf was a problem. Make their minds up.

Fee :hairout Sorry to go on and on and on but i now feel cleansed and tranquil again. :zipit:
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

This post has been edited 4 times, last edit by "Fee" (Aug 4th 2008, 6:19pm)


Posts: 194

Reg: May 5th 2008

Location: London

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56

Monday, August 4th 2008, 6:39pm

Welcome back Mel.

I am sorry to hear about your results, but you know what I am just starting to think all these tests dont help a damn bit. I cant see why this would mean lack of fertilization. Of course I am not a doctor but I understood that reserve test was only used to determine how well you would respond to stimulation drugs. You got 9 eggs? so thats bloody good. Of course you need to take it into consideration but I dont think it means game over.

We were in the same dilemma. We were told half dh and half ds for our next try.... or all ds for that matter.

It is hard to advise you as its a balance of all things including and very importantly the money. But we have decided, after much discussion that we would give ivf/icsi 2 more trys. We owe it to ourselves to try once more with dh..... just in case. We are preparing for the worst but we just have to know. Just in case something went wrong. I am going to go for it again and probably will take up some councelling to get me through. After that we will make decision on what to do third time...lets hope there isnt. Thats what we think we can handle both financially and emotionally.

You have to know that when I think of your situation I think about the fact that at least some of the eggs did do something, didnt they fertilize but abnormally. If its any consolation ours did de nada... not a flicker... nothing, not a thing. And didnt they say a few of your eggs were damaged due to the icsi process... again on our side that all went fine.

I guess at the end of the day both you and your dh are the only ones who can know how far to take it. I am so sorry you came back to bad news... I feel like I am just getting used to it now. Every time I go to the clinic they seem to have bad news.. its almost laughable... I brace myself every time. My dh sperm fragmentation was a just over normal... my fsh is jumping up and up.... not bloody surprising really with all this stupid stress

We must not give up hope.

Fee, you must be tearing your hair out. I know what you mean every time your period is late you just think ... what if... could we be that miracle couple. I just hope it comes soon for you so you can just get on with it. ( ps thanks for advise about kitten)

Bx

Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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57

Tuesday, August 5th 2008, 9:49am

Hi Fee and Bunny,
Thanks for your replies, I cant tell you how much it means to have you girls here for support. [zx050]
I think I have had 3/4 a/fs since last e/c on 23rd April (will never forget that date!)Went straight back to 25 day cycle which is good. I think the 1st a/f was late by about 5 days and I (like you) thought "Oh what if I am like one of the women you read about in Take A Break, who get a miracle pregnancy"! But I dont think I am that lucky. I do feel more relaxed about things now tho for some reason. When we got the latest news I was really upset for that evening but then Sunday felt like its just another thing and I guess I was half expecting it. Bunny, same as you, feel like its a bit of a joke sometimes! I mean, how unlucky can you get eh! We went from being a really good case as just me with the dodgy tubes, then we found out about DH high abnormal count so had ICSI, then no fertilisation and then now my poor reserve! WHAT IS GOING ON!!! :hairout
Think thats why we are both now expecting DH's de fragmentation test to be bad to as just our luck.
Fee, have you thought about having the anti mullerian test for you eggs? Its £90 approx, but before you have another go and spend all the money it might give you an idea of your reserve and quality of your eggs. Just a thought....
I hope you dont have to wait til Christmas, I hope we can all do it at a similar time and be there for each other! [zx181]
Bunny, you are right, I think I have almost decided that we will have another go just with my eggs and see what happens as last time there was some sort of fertilisation, even if it was abnormal! I wonder if they selected the abnormal sperm or something since DH count is so high? Anyway, def worth another go, even if I have one good egg left it could be THE one! xfingers
What a lousy day! It hasnt stopped raining since I got home, so much for bringing the nice weather home!
Speak soon
xx
P.S anyone know how to get rid of that ticker? x

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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58

Wednesday, August 6th 2008, 1:32pm

Hello!
How are you all today?
Finally a bit of good news! DH Got his DNA De-fragmentation results back and all fine! happydance
Cant believe for once we got some good news, we were all prepared for the worst to be honest, I was almost sick when the call came through!
Also, I have spoken with the embryologist again about my results and he said they were borderline satisfactory and the test is really more of an indicator of quantity not quality of eggs and since last time I had a good number the have no reason to suspect that next time wont be the same. However, they are now wondering if the AMH result could indicate an ovarian problem and wondering whether my eggs just dont take kindly to the ICSI process and perhaps next time just IVF. Apparently 95% of cases are fine with ICSI but there are obviously cases that arent and it may just be that we fall in to that category.....
So......now we have all the facts etc we have decided to go ahead with our next treatment which will mean day one of next a/f is 18th August (approx)!!! Yikes! I am scared but at the same time, we know what we are dealing with this time and will try not to get too excited.
Fee, any sign of the witch? :witch:
I am off to change my ticker now!
Speak soon.
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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59

Wednesday, August 6th 2008, 4:24pm

Mel & Bunny,

Mel brilliant news that the DNA results came back fine :smile:

I wasn't sure whether to say anything or not, but i did a test last night - and it was a really faint positive. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I don't know if i am or not. Did another this morning and it was the same. The doctor sent me for a blood test this afternoon and i will have another on Friday. I am petrified - i had a blighted ovum in 2006 and that can give a positive result that gradually gets less and less as time progresses. Again i didn't know whether to keep my mouth shut as i know how much we all want this, but i just wanted to tell you.

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Fee" (Aug 6th 2008, 4:25pm)


Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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60

Thursday, August 7th 2008, 10:52am

Fee! OMG! How exciting, cant wait to hear the news, when will you know for definite? You are gonna be one of the women we read about in Take a Break! Please let it be positive, please!
Good luck, you deserve it.
Speak soon.
xxx
P.S - out of interest, what is a bighted ovum??

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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61

Thursday, August 7th 2008, 11:35am

Thanks Mel,

Hopefully i will know Friday afternoon 3pm, if the hospital has the results ready. The doctor knows how worried i am about this being a viable pregnancy so sent me for two blood test to see if it is a pregnancy and to see if the HCG levels are increasing normally. I am scared stiff, i don't know if i can cope if it is not.

A blighted Ovum (another cruel twist) The egg creates a sac, and the pregnancy progresses normally, but when i had an ultrasound at 12 weeks the baby had never formed.

I was the worst thing that has happened to me, i don't think i have ever recovered from it. This pregnancy was with a previous partner (i was with him for 9 yrs).
He was the type we'll have a baby one day, maybe. He had 2 daughters so wasn't really too bothered. I got pregnant while on the pill and he made my life hell, and didn't want it. I had a miscarriage at home and he didn't want anything to do with me after and would not consider children thereafter. So in Aug 2006 i left my home, job and moved to live with my mum for a year. I then started seeing my best friends brother, we married last year (i'd known him for 35 years!) and then we found out he had male factor problem and the rest you know.

So this has been a bumpy ride to now - and we both want this soooooooooooo much, as i know we all do.

I am so scared Mel, i can't function properly till i know for sure, too many bad thing have happens and it taints everything. The phone call for the failed fertilisation etc. If you don't hear anything Friday it may be bad news. But i am praying for a miracle. jilly

Fee x :bye:
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Fee" (Aug 7th 2008, 11:39am)


Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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62

Thursday, August 7th 2008, 1:19pm

Oh Fee, you ex sounds like a real treasure, not! Sounds like you a well shot of him.
Is there any reason this shouldnt be a viable pregnancy? Is a blighted ovum a reaccurring thing? I can imagine how worried you must be as I would be exactly the same, but I am under the impression that a blue line is a blue line and as far as I am concerned you are Pregnant! I feel like getting really excited and putting lots of excited icons on for you but I think if you are worried then I will wait til tomorrow. What a fantastic thing tho if you are, after zero fertilisation last time!
I am not religious but I pray to god you have got a little miracle there! :angel2:
Put your feet up Fee, you are PUPO! Looking forward to hearing some good news on our thread for a change!
Take care xxxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Posts: 194

Reg: May 5th 2008

Location: London

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63

Thursday, August 7th 2008, 7:04pm

OMG.....!!

I just came on the thread and thought I'd clicked on the wrong site.... I too want to get very excited but can pick up the caution in your email. If it is a pregnancy though you dont know how much that will mean to us girlies because it will mean that zero fertilization means sh*t!

I wish I could report good news too... but once again the clinic call to say my fsh is climbing. I am now at 14. something... didnt really hear what she said because I just was expecting bad news

Am off on hols tomorrow to bring the fsh down!

Fee I will keep my fingers, toes, everthing crossed for you that it is positive.

Bx

Ps sounds like you are with the right man now

Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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64

Thursday, August 7th 2008, 11:34pm

Bunny,

Have a lovely holiday. :cheeers:
i think agnus castus is supposed to help (i think) with high FSH but it's not recommended to be taken while having IVF. I took it before treatment and i started ovulating on a more regular basis and AF was not painful at all.

Bunny yes it will mean zero Fertilisation means sh*t, i didn't think about it like that. I had read that straight after a failed cycle the bodies normal fertilty is boosted so we took full advantage of it! No i suppose there is no logical reason why this shouldn't be viable but over the past couple of years so many 'unusual' and 'rare'
things have happened i don't know what to believe. Zero Fertilisation, blighted Ovums, etc and the amount of times when i have been late, rushing to the chemist and nothing.

I had convinced myself this would never ever happen. Apparentely if you have had one blighted ovum you are not prone to another. Myself and DH just keep saying OMG. Off to try and get some sleep. Thankyou for your support.

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Fee" (Aug 7th 2008, 11:36pm)


Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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65

Friday, August 8th 2008, 4:38pm

Mel and Bunny,

It dosen't look like good news :bawl: I don't know how but i just knew. Yes i am pregnant but the levels are low and not increasing as they should do. I have to go for a scan Monday, but they may not be able to see anything anyway. The only way it could be ok is if i am alot earlier than i thought, and i don't think so.

Not going to be on the board for a while need some time

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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66

Friday, August 8th 2008, 4:49pm

Oh Fee, I am so sorry, I feel for you so much. Life keeps throwing these cruel blows at us, when will it end! I dont know what to say, I am so desperately sorry for you and your DH, it just isnt fair.
I will pray that this little one stays with you and gets stronger, take it easy.
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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67

Monday, August 11th 2008, 7:19pm

Hello! How are you all? I dont think anyone is around but I thought I would pop in and check.
Fee, I know you have said you are having a break from the site but just wanted to check how you are doing? I have been thinking about you, hope you are ok.
Bunny - Hope you are having a fab holiday with lots of R&R to bring that FSH level down! :cheeers:
Buhito - you must be back by now surely? Seems like you have benn gone for ages!
Well, a bit of news from me.... :comp:
Had a hectic weekend, it was my birthday on Friday, flippin 33 now! Anyway, had a lovely day DH treated me to a new watch which we bought whilst on the ship (cheaper!) and went out for a lovely family meal in the evening. Saturday I went on a hen do, or should I say hen dont! It was a long day and without sounding too bitchy, not really my scene! Must be something to do with being 33 now, but when I arrived they were sat down drinking tea and watching the olympics! All of them mums and around 27 years old. Made me grateful for the last 5 years of fun to be honest.
Anyway back to business.....spoke to my consultant today about our next attempt. They are planning on putting me on an antagonistic protocol, basically no d/r, straight to 2 weeks of stimms then e/c. Apparently, the quality of eggs selected by the ovaries should be better this way. They dont seem too concerned about my AMH results as I had a good number last time which is reassuring. They are going to wait to see how many eggs I get (if any) before deciding whether to do half with icsi and half just ivf, we are hoping for 10 minimum. Soooo.......roll on 5th September! Oh my god! I cant believe I am putting myself through this again. I am really worried that I will get the same result but at the same time, I feel a bit excited to! I guess you have to have some hope and PMA!
Better go for now as have been waffling.

Take care girls, speak soon.

xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

Reg: Jun 22nd 2008

Location: WARWICKSHIRE

Children: Samuel - born Dec 6th 2009

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68

Monday, August 11th 2008, 8:49pm

Mel,

Hi, the fifth of September that's not long at all is it. 33 you are still a spring chicken! Hope you had a nice time for your birthday. Things are still up in the air for me. They couldn't see anything on the scan this morning so we were obviously down. I had another blood test and the HCG levels have doubled??!!!
So i am watching out for ectopic signs or i could be in the early stages of pregnancy. Off to work tonight so will be leaving at 9pm. Take care Mel, i know your mind may be on what happened last time but try to relax and think positive things, i know it is easier said than done.

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

Posts: 1,273

Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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69

Tuesday, August 12th 2008, 2:34pm

Hi Fee,
Keeping everything crossed for you, very good news that the HCG levels are rising still, it really is looking like you are in the very early stages of pregnancy doesnt it? Have they booked you in for another scan?
xx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



Fee

Ace

  • "Fee" started this thread

Posts: 132

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Tuesday, August 12th 2008, 8:18pm

Mel,
I have got to go for another blood test in the morning straight after work as the hospital is on the way home. The nure will ring me in the afternoon. Hopefully my HCG Levels will have doubled again and then i will have to go for a scan on Thursday morning. I am getting an ulcer worrying that they won't have doubled.Not sure what they would see if i had to go for a scan as there was nothing on Monday. Anyway one thing at a time. Thankyou for your support Mel.

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

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71

Friday, August 15th 2008, 9:06am

Hello! How are you? Anyone around yet?
Fee, how are you doing? Hope those HCG levels are still doubling?
xx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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72

Friday, August 15th 2008, 5:25pm

Hi Mel,
Looks like it's just you and me still. Still rising but not quite doubling 149 to 236 back for a scan on Monday.

Hope you are ok :smile:
Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

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73

Sunday, August 17th 2008, 1:56pm

Hi Fee,
Just popped in to wish you good luck for the scan tomorrow, hope everything is ok for you.
xx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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Location: London

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74

Monday, August 18th 2008, 3:33pm

Ladies ....

I am back from hols....

Oh dear its just going to be one of those years i think. Holiday kind of ruined by me. On day one decided to throw myself into the pool and gave myself quite severe whiplash!!! I am actually quite embaressed, what a thing to do. I feel more like 66 than 36! Neckbrace and everything! I am back now but still not great. Was all a bit of a nightmare, which peaked on tuesday night when a big fat, sweaty greek doctor arrived at the villa and said the only solution was to give me two injections.... now I am sure you ladies might appreciate this ... but I just freaked.... the whole idea of going on holiday was to forget bloody needles and injections....

Anyway... good to be home. Will try another holiday later in the year.

However, looks like I wont be able to do my next ivf cycle for a while. My fsh is gone up so high and dh has got bladder infection and now on antibiotics. I sometimes wonder who/what and why we are being tested so hard.

Mel not long now then for you. I am going to be here for you all the way if you need to chat.

And Fee, I so hope it all went well today. Firstly for you, but also for us....this is the hope us girls really need.

Wheres Buhito?

Bx

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Monday, August 18th 2008, 7:08pm

Hello!
Welcome back Bunny, we have missed you! Sorry to hear about your holiday, although I know its not right but you have made me giggle! Just imagining you throwing yourself in etc! Can completely understanding you freaking about the injections, at least you could have done them yourself tho and not let the sweaty Great doc near you! :snigger:
Sorry about your FSH level to, do they know why is has gone up? What is it at now and how can you get it back down?

Fee, how did it go today? Good news I hope xx

I dont know where Buhito is, I thought she was on holiday for 2 weeks but think it has been at least a month?

The :witch: arrived today, no great surprise there, but why is it when you know there is more chance of winning the lottery, do you still think 'Maybe'!? Anyway, I am pleased to see her as I was able to ring the clinic to book my day 19 appointment. So, got to go to clinic on 5th September and think I will start stimms around 12th with e/c being 14 days after! Not long at all really, very very nervous! Keep having real panics about it, you know when your heart sinks in your stomach and you feel sick?!!

Anyway, better go, got a nice milky coffee waiting for me. Actually, that reminds me, were any of you advised to drink 2 pints of milk a day whilst on treatment?

Speak soon

xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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Monday, August 18th 2008, 7:18pm

Hi Ladies, welcome back Bunny,

Not good news today, levels are up but not by much. They suppect an ectopic. Will rescan tomorrow and if they cannot find anything again i will go into surgery.

Sorry not to be all cheery and talk more feeling poo

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

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77

Tuesday, August 19th 2008, 11:42am

Hi Fee,
So so sorry to hear this, its awful news. I dont know what to say, none of this is fair, you have been through so much already! It makes me angry, you dont deserve anymore sh1t!
I am here for you if you need me, take care blowkiss
xx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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78

Tuesday, August 19th 2008, 11:45am

Fee,

I am sorry to hear this. I dont want to give you false hope but i do need to tell you something.

My sister got pregnant and they couldnt see anything on the scan until 5/6 weeks and also told her it might be ectopic.

Are they sure? I understand its common not to see something on the scan so early and it is still so early isnt it? This is a very trying time for you. I cant imagine. I am so hoping that this turns out okay. Are they going to leave you for a bit to see what happens?

Mel, yes I have heard something about milk... I will check, I think thats what my new clinic advises.

My fsh - well no-one knows. Stress... well who wouldnt be. I have had to give up work for a bit. This is a bloody big decision but my work is so full on. I am 36 and just feel that have to do it... for the short term anyway. I am not good at doing nothing though but have got to find some way of chilling out. Time to explore hobbies I think....anyone got any good book recommendations?!! - not to do with babies, pregnancy, fertility....

Are any of you girls having counselling? I just am thinking I might do this. I am generally fine during the day but get into these big panics at night, feeling completely fraxious. I also have never felt so depressed before. Just wondered if you had tried and if it had helped.

Fee will be thinking of you.

Bx

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Tuesday, August 19th 2008, 2:09pm

Hi Bunny,
I have considered counsilling yes but not actually got around to it yet. The clinic offers a counsilling service and I think I may go and talk to them once I have started next treatment, to help me prepare for the worst again! I know exacly what you mean about the panics, I wake up in the night sometimes in sheer panic and I know its because I have been thinking about babies etc and the thought of never having one. I am not sure I can describe my feelings about not being able to get pregnant, I sometimes feel trapped if that makes sense? I guess in the way that I cant do anything about it ?(
A massive part of me has given up on ever being a mum and when I think about it the overwhelming sense of dread and depression just consumes me! Is this normal? Is this what you are talking about or am I just even more of a freak than I thought!!
I can suggest some excellent books (well I enjoyed them!) the Author is Lisa Jewell, I have read Thirtynothing, Vince and Joy and One Hit Wonder and they are all brilliant, a really funny read, just what you need! My DH read Ben Eltons Inconceivable on holiday (got some funny looks as got blue sperm on front cover!) and he said it was really good and he found he could relate to it alot! I havent got up the strength to read it yet tho...
xx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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80

Tuesday, August 19th 2008, 2:20pm

Well,

Firstly yes Mel i have heard drinking a couple of glasses of milk is good during treatment and also after egg collection, also eating protein rich food, chicken etc.
Not sure about 2 pints thought! Wow September for treatment i am excited for you.

Bunny i am sorry you are depressed, no i have not tried counselling but it can be a very positive experience. My mum tried for 2 years with my sister and gave up work as the doctor advised her to - she fell pregnant a few months later. So i think you have done the right thing, especially if it is less stressfull.

Well,
I was scanned this morning by another nurse, bearing in mind i have been scanned what 2 or 3 times in the past week, not very carefully i might add made me bleed yesterday as was so rough. She went straight to a sac with a yolk (she said the sac looked a bit malformed) She said it would not be a viable pregnancy as my levels were so low. But it was in the right place, it had fertilised and it was nearly there.
Obviously we are both very sad it will not go any further it is the furthest we have got so far. We don't know if the icsi drugs boosted my fertility so i could conceive, we will have to keep trying to find out. I started bleeding at the hospital so i think the enevitable is on it's way.

This does mean there is hope for all of us so Mel, i wish you all the luck in the world. I know it is easier said than done but try to put our zero fertilisation behind you and go for it girl!

In a very strange place at the moment actually happy it wasn't ectopic, while i am going to go through a miscarriage, perhaps i've finally lost the plot :smile:

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Fee" (Aug 19th 2008, 2:24pm)


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Tuesday, August 19th 2008, 7:54pm

I am so sorry Fee for you and you dh.

What a thing to get your head around. What a bloody rollercoaster. It just shouldnt be like this.

Mel - thanks for book recommendations... and no what you say is exactly right... its like being trapped isnt it. Always worse at night. rotf

Have booked with a counsellor.

Fee - my thoughts are with you. Cant believe they were so rough with you on the scans... unbelievable really. Arghhh makes me so angry for you.... I hope you can get some sleep and rest

Bx

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "bunny2tot" (Aug 19th 2008, 7:56pm)


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Wednesday, August 20th 2008, 10:21am

Fee,
I dont know what to say, I guess in a way you can take this as a positive thing? It mean you CAN get pregnant! It sounds strange looking at it like that, but I think that is how I would feel. There is hope for you that it can happen again naturally and there is definitely hope that next time you will get some fertilisation with ICSI. Are you planning another go? It is probably too soon for you to be thinking about it as you are stilltrying to get your head around a miscarriage!
Dam those nurses for being so rough with you. I remember when I went for a scan at the Southampton General, the nurse were really rough and rude to me! As if it is not bad enough waiting in the same place where all the pregnant women are waiting to find out the sex of their babies etc and I was waiting to find out what the hell was wrong with me!! Soooo inconsiderate!
Well, I had the call yesterdya from the drug company, they will be arriving on Friday! I am feeling pretty low at the moment, like the worst is going to happen again and I am not sure I can cope. I dont know what we will do next, if we will try donor eggs or if we will just give up and try to get on with our lives?!
Take care girls.
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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Monday, August 25th 2008, 9:58am

Hi Fee and Bunny (Buhito if your back!) how are you?
I have been away with DH to Leeds to see my brother this weekend, havent lifted a finger since last Friday! How lazy, had a lovely time tho and the weather was actually nice enough to site out, which is rare for Leeds I hear!

Well, I am well and truly off again now, my drugs arrived on Friday, I have Puregon again and Orgalutran which is a new drug on me so hope I respond OK. I have been having more panics over the weekend, convinced that I will get the same result as last time, I just keep hearing the phonecall over and over again and cant imagine it being a positive call next time. :bawl:
Sometimes I think whether I actually want to put myself through it again and if I do, will I cope with the bad news again? I think not.
I keep going over and over in my head thinking what could have happened to my eggs, I have been pregnant twice before, a long time ago but the eggs were fine then, can things happen to eggs? I had an abortion at age 16 and wonder if that could have caused it? Thats screwing me up to, the fact that I have wasted the only chance I ever had of being a mum.
Sorry girls to be so doom and gloom, struggling with the PMA at the moment.
Hope you are all ok?
Take care
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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84

Monday, August 25th 2008, 8:38pm

Mel

It is so extremely hard... ( i have also sent you a pm). :tear:

So how does your protocol work?

The drugs you have ordered have different names to the ones I used.
Whats the plan, dates etc. Are you waiting for your next period and then starting straight away... which I understand is a short protocol. Or doing the long protocol. Has your clinic put you on the pill for a month beforehand?

When is it likely, if all goes to plan, you will go for egg collection?

I am here to give you lots of support and courage.

I completely understand why you feel doom and gloom. But having another go will at least answer all these horrid questions with no answers....

Bx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "bunny2tot" (Aug 25th 2008, 8:39pm)


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Thursday, August 28th 2008, 11:59am

Hello!
How are you girls? Thought I would stop by and check in, see how you are.
I have a bit of a hangover today, went to see REM last night! They were great, even better seeing them in our own town!
B, I PM'd you back but not sure you got it?
Fee, how are you feeling?
Buhito, are you back from your holiday yet?
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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86

Friday, August 29th 2008, 12:04pm

Hello ladies

and sorry for not have written earlier but work here's been hectic since I came back, and I've also been sick... :poorly:
I came back from diving in Egypt with very high fever and swollen feet (very glamourous) :pout and DH had to take me to the hospital on Monday. apparently I have some little wounds on my feet that got infected and the infection got internal, so I've been one week on antibiotics...

First of all, Fee, I'm so sorry for all what's happened, as I was reading down I really hoped to read, YES I'M PREGNANT!!!! but at least if conception happened once, I'm sure it will happen again...

Mel, don't be scared and be hopeful, it's really difficult to face this again (I'm terrified at my Spet appointment) but we have to do it. When we have our baby in our arms, we'll forget about it all

Bunny, enjoy those hols and bring that fsh down! Maybe if we make an average between you and me we'll get to a normal level!!

And finally some news on my ttx front. I got my af "naturally" this summer for the first time in 15 years. Well naturally is with the pills Dr House prescribed me back in July but it's the first time she comes without the pill or without hormones. DH is really excited that my body has reacted to this and thinks we will get pg naturally... laugh1 I'm not that optimistic but do reckon it's a good sign. Anyway, let's see what my dr tells me on the 9th of September... I'm terrified!!!

Loads of kisses for my favourite ladies!

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Monday, September 1st 2008, 9:16am

Yay, Buhitos back! We have missed you!
Sorry to hear you were poorly on your hols, that doesnt sound like much fun :poorly:
I have my day 19 appointment this Friday, scary. A.F is due next Thursday so drugs should begin about 3 days after, with e.c being the end of Sept! Bit more hopeful about things, I guess you have to have hope or else what would be the point??
What is your 9th Sept appointment about? When do you think you will be trying again? Great that your a/f is regulating itself normally, I take this as a good sign and reckon your dh could be right! Lets keep our fingers crossed.
Hi Bunny, are you about? I sent you a PM last week replying to yours, I hope I havent upset you, havent heard from you since??
Fee, how are you doing? Been thinking about you :hugs:
We are having some work done on our house today, so lots of noise to disrupt us working, mind you it doesnt take much to distract me from work!
Take care girls, speak soon.
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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88

Monday, September 1st 2008, 10:22am

Morning girls!!!!
Mel, so you're about to start... OMG, you must be so excited, I think this is going to be your chance and we will be celebrating by mid oct a new :BFP:

My appointment on the 9th is with the new doctor who will treat, the researcher who is the only one telling us that we will be able to conceive a child of our own and not to go to egg donation. So on the 9th, we will go to Valencia to see what protocol we should follow and if I'm lucky I might start straight away with the shots. AF is due that day... smile2 if the pills have worked again...

What about the rest of our troupe??? Fee, bunny who are you both?
Big kisses!

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Monday, September 1st 2008, 8:39pm

Hiya Ladies

Have been doing a good job of distracting myself, seeing friends, buying bicycles!!, and going on long walks to clear the head.

Went to see a councellor at Zita West on friday. Was good to get it all out with someone trained to help you get through this. Cant say i feel amazingly better but good to cry it all out. Would recommend it.

Buhito... sounds like your holiday got ruined too... horrid. I am not sure you saw what happened to me, but thats all behind me now thank god. But how amazing that you got your first natural a.f. This is some good news indeed.

Mel, emailed you back. So we are gearing up. I have to say am very envious. I want to get on with this now. Have you had another appointment or is that next thursday.

Fee if you do log on, just want to say am thinking of you and hope that the big black clouds move away soon and you can think about what to do next. Are your little Kittens growing fast... mine is almost like a full grown cat. Its amazing and she is so adorable.

Ladies good luck with your appointments. Let me know. Me.. well I have just got to hang around a bit, chill out and get this damn fsh down. Good excuse to pamper myself though. Am going to start reflexology. I am not expecting miracles but if it chills me out that would be good.

Take care

Bx

Fee

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Tuesday, September 2nd 2008, 12:09am

Hi Ladies,

Welcome back Buhito, sorry you were ill on your hol's.

I'm ok emotionally just physically taking a bit of a beating at the moment. Everything is happening 'naturally' so i am glad i don't have to have any medical help. Bloody hurts tho!

We would have been having our second go in three weeks so things are abit up in the air at the moment. I am very tempted to keep trying naturally but i hope it was not just the fertility drugs that made it happen last time.

Mel, good luck, i am excited for you :smile:

Bunny, enjoy your reflexology, i have always fancied it.

Fee
Me 42 Dh 41 Blighted Ovum 2006
1st ICSI (June 2008) Failed Fertilisation
Surprise Natural Pregnancy (July 2008) lost Sept
Surprise :BFP: March 09 please stay with us [zx076]
Heartbeat seen 2.5.09 9-10 weeks woohoo
6.12.2009 Samuel born 5.12pm 6ib 12oz :boy:

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91

Tuesday, September 2nd 2008, 9:26am

Morning ladies,

I probably did not explain myself right, we did enjoy our holidays, diving 4 times a day (that was really cool though exhausting) and got the infection on our trip back, so that's why I've been absent for quite some time, but kept thinking about you girls!

I do know how you girls feel, as I have to confees I'm a bit gloomy these days. I'm terrified about going through it all again and getting a third zero fertilisation, though I know I have to do it. I've "behaved" quite well during the summer but as the 9th approaches I get more nervous and sensitive... Yesterday DH told me that a friend of ours got pregnant and I started crying like a baby. He does not understand these kind of reactions, so I think he got a little bit mad at me, but I just couldn't help it... is a year and a half of treatments not enough? I sometimes don't understand what did I do wrong to deserve this... humph Anyway I think I might need to get some counselling or I'll drive DH mad...

Sorry for the long speech but kind of needed to get it all out.

Fee, I keep thinking about you and how hard must that be, but at least it happened once, so you know your body is able to conceive and you'll make it this time! Huge hugh for you! :hugs:

Bunny, I just read what happened on your hols... OMG! Are you OK now? What a brave decision to stop working. My job is quite stressful, but I think I would stress myself more if I was not working, I don't know. I might have to consider it. thinkthink As for books, have you read a thousand splendid suns or the kiterunner? The story is quite hard but I just couldn't get my hands of them... I've been reading quite a lot of Spanish authours recently but I'll search at home to see what other books I can recommend.

Mel, you're almost about to start. I'll keep thinking about you all these days and praying :angel2: (though I'm not really religious) so that you'll get a 100% fertilisation. I've also read your story and you should not even consider that the abortion at 16 has anything to do with this. There are zillions of girls who have had an abortion and then have been able to conceive so don't even go there. Though as the girls suggested it may be good to get some counselling and get it all out.

And I better get down to work now... :comp: Big kisses for my favourite girls!

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "buhito" (Sep 2nd 2008, 9:27am)


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Thursday, September 4th 2008, 3:27pm

Hello!
Sorry Buhito, I guess I just got hold of the fact that you hadnt been very well and forgot to say how wonderful your holiday sounded! We are used to bad news on this thread arent we! Diving sounds fantastic, I cant dive (deaf in 1 ear and not allowed, plus a bit scared actually!) but I went snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef a few years ago and that was amazing.
Sounds like your thoughts are completely normal and the same as ours. I have a lot of breakdowns! X(
The pressure that ttc puts on a relationship is tremendous, its a wonder anyone comes through the other side still together. Steve and I have had a very stressfull few months what with ttc, work (or lack of) etc
This time round it feels different, very surreal. I suppose it will hit us more when we start with the injections again? I have cut out wine and been drinking lots of milk and taking the pregnacare etc, apart from that I dont know what else I can do.
Did you see that I recommended a book called "Inconceivable" by Ben Elton, to Bunny? Its really good, we can all relate to it and it is so funny :snigger:
The woman really portrays how desperate for a baby she is and will try almost anything! Worth a read.
Hope you are all doing well?
I will post tomorrow after day 19 appointment! OMG day 19 appointment again? Already?? Where did the last 5 months go?
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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93

Sunday, September 7th 2008, 10:29pm

Hiya Ladies

Just watching Murray and Nadal in the US open and thought Buhito, my new spanish friend, you might be watching.

How are you all. Where in the cycle are you both Mel and Buhito. Mel have you started injections yet? When do you start. Likewise Buhito when do you start again. I am hoping to start my next cycle at the beginning of october. Thats if my fsh comes down. Trying to do the usual relax... etc.
Going to try reflexology ... not because I am expecting any great miracles but to see if it will help me relax.

Had a few arguments with dh myself. But talked it all through. Golly so tough eh.

thinking of you all...

come on Murray!!!

Bx

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Monday, September 8th 2008, 11:57am

ha, ha, bunny I was of course supporting Nadal, but don't know what happened to him yesterday as he didn't play as well as he usually does... Well, he probably has to leave room for others to win, ha, ha.

I'm going tomorrow to Valencia and will report in detail. Af came this week-end, three days earlier than expected which for me is a very good sign as I've never had it with anything that was not the contraceptive pill or the hormones so it seems that the clomid + metformin is working for me.

And how are you all? Mel, how was your day 19 appointment??? Fee, how are you feeling? Bunny, october is almost here now!!!!

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Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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95

Tuesday, September 9th 2008, 1:28pm

Hello ladies!
Sorry I didnt reply yesterday but I was whisked away for a romantic night at a hotel with Steve! It was our 1st wedding anniversary and he had booked it up as a suprise which was lovely :smile:
The appointment went well on Friday. We had the embryologist in that actually did the ICSI on my eggs the last time! She said that my eggs were fine that time and the sperm on the day was ok et etc... still no explanation tho. She did however say that she wouldnt advise doing a 50 50 split with ivf and icsi next time, just do all icsi ?( We have decided to just wait til after e/c and see what the sperm is like and decide from there. She said that it could have been just very bad luck and what happened is something that happens in 1 in 100 cases. And as long as I am making eggs and Steve has decent sperm then there isnt really any reason for no fertilisation. Anyway, I told her to look after my eggs and be very careful with them etc and she was really sweet. I have a feeling they will be monitoring the process more closley this time. A/F is due in a couple of days and I have to ring the clinic on day 1 to make appointment for day 3 to check lining and then I start 1st injection day 3 aswell. So e/c should be 25th/26th September (thats if there are eggs at all this time, with my luck I am not taking anything for granted!)
Finished "Inconceivable" now, its a briliant book, I definitely recommend it.
I am glad that you are both not far behind me with the next attempt, I am very proud of us all for trying again, we are certainly a bunch of fighters eh!
Anyway, by for now, stay in touch!
xxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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Reg: May 7th 2008

Location: Madrid

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96

Wednesday, September 10th 2008, 9:53am

Morning ladies!!!

:goodnews: You won't believe it but I started the shots yesterday!!!!!! As you are reading I'm in the process now and e/c could be next wednesay 17th or Thursday. :thumbsup2:

As you'll remember I had yesterday my appointment in Valencia with Dr House, yes he is the best researcher for complicated cases but he is as stroppy as Dr House. He said he can't give me any info until we do a cycle with him but he thinks it's all very weird, well I did not get out of ther with any answers, but I am positive that if there's anything to find, he'll find it. sherlock

He said it's excellent news that I had AF twice this summer and that I might be able to conceive with the clomid+metformin but given the antecedents he preferred to do another ICSI.

So given that yesterday was day 3, he asked me what medication I had at home and given that I had Pergoveris, I yesterday put my first inyection (450 of gonal FSH and 225 of Luveris LH). This is triple the dose I had last time!!!! :scared: and next monday I have my first control.

So all is going very quickly and hopefully by the end of next week we'll have some answers!!!!!

MEl, so glad on your romantic night and good luck with tx!!!
Fee, bunny, where are you?

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Reg: Mar 17th 2008

Location: Southampton

Children: One step daughter

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Wednesday, September 10th 2008, 4:15pm

Buhito!
OMG! I cant believe you have started again, I had no idea that it would be so soon for you, did you expect this? You are doing a very short protocol this time arent you? Is it just 1 week of stimms then e/c? Have they called it "antagonist" protocol? Thats what I am doing but stimming for 2 weeks and no down regulation, they said that any embryos have proven to be better quality with this process, thats if there are some embryos!
How are you in your self? I must say I am very proud of you, you seem so brave and positive about it all, it makes me feel quite weak as I am not coping very well at all :bawl:
I have convinced myself that we wont get any fertilisation again, last night I was in tears (uncontrollably sobbing) and wondering whether I could actually go through with it.
You have given me some strength today tho and I will try to be braver :O
I am glad we have each other, please feel free to PM me if you need me at all, I will be there for you.
Take care
xxxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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Location: Madrid

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98

Wednesday, September 10th 2008, 5:51pm

Mel,

don't worry, I panick as well and I am not coping that well. I have actually convinced myself that there is a very high chance of no fertilisation, but at least I know that if this happens, my doctor will investigate it and give me an answer, this is what makes me feel that it is worth trying this time. But poor DH has had to handle my crying many days now...

I've always done the short protocol, i.e. no d/r, and this time round I am taking triple the dose of hormones, so that's why I think it'll be much quicker. In fact the Dr told me, everything will be done by next wednesday/thursday, which surprised me as I generally take two weeks to get there.

Was I waiting for it to be so quick? I have to confess that something inside of me was desperatly hoping it would be like this. In fact when I started the clomid I calculated that I would get AF Sept 9th, just to start on those dates, but dh had managed my expectations and told me it would be impossible for it to be that quick, so great surprise!!!!! Along with another great surprise which is that this Dr will help us get NHS funding for this tx, so another great surprise!!!

Feel free to PM whenever you want, in a week we might have loads of answers!!!!
xx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "buhito" (Sep 10th 2008, 5:52pm)


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Reg: May 5th 2008

Location: London

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99

Thursday, September 11th 2008, 7:31pm

Go girls go..... happydance

Golly we all could fill lakes with the tears we have cried. :bawl:

Be brave ladies. It will take every bit of your courage now to get through the next few weeks... but we have done it before and we can do it again... :yes:

I wish I could be going through it with you ladies again. This waiting is soooo annoying. I am going to have reflexology tomorrow and hope this will help me :pray:

I am thinking of you both... thinking positive things. Try and be strong and relax ladies... easier said than done but dont work yourselves up so that you get so tense. Spoil yourselfs, manicures, pedicures, chocolate cake, girly films... this next 7 days, Fee and 14 days, Mel should be days to spoil yourself, make sure you have at least one treat each day to look forward to.

Come on girls, i am here for you.... all for one and one for all.... high5

Bx

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "bunny2tot" (Sep 11th 2008, 7:34pm)


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100

Friday, September 12th 2008, 12:16pm

Hello!
Well here we go again....
A/F arrived this morning so I have rung up and got to go in for a day 2 scan tomorrow, nice! Am hoping it will just be a belly scan what with a/f being on the scene! Nice :rolleyes:
So Sunday I will start the injections again. Had a bit of a go at our consultant yesterday, we have been given some very conflicitng advice from the clinic. When we went in last Friday the embryologist came in to talk to us about whether we were going to go for 50 50 split etc. Anyway she basically advised to go with all ICSI, which is different to what the doctors have said. I am sure this is why I have been soooo upset lately as just so confused. They are sort of making us decide what we want to do, surely its up to them being the professionals to advise/tell us!!!
Anyway, we are desperately hoping DH's sample on the day will be good enough for IVF as that is what I feel I would rather. His morphology had gone down last time to 92% and they have said 10% and above (normal forms) is ok for IVF so fingers crossed. He has been eating healthily for a long time....
Bunny, how are you? Has your FSH come down at all?
Buhito, how are you feeling now, you must be on about day 4 of shots by now?!
Its all go on our thread isnt it! I dont think anyone else looks in on this thread do you?
Take care
xxxx

First ICSI April 08 - 9 eggs, zero fertilisation :bawl:
2nd ICSI Sept 08 - 10 eggs, 100 % fertilisation ?( - BFN tho
Natural FET January 30th - BFN
NK Cells Test 22nd April - Result - Normal.
ICSI 3 - November - BFN



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