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  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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1

Sunday, June 15th 2008, 9:43pm

TTC #2 with unexplained infertility

Hello everyone,

My name is Sally, I am 33 next weekend, DH is 32 and DS is 4, conceived naturally after 6 months of trying.

We have been trying to conceive #2 for 3 years in July, we have had 2 failed attempts at IUI and are now waiting to start IVF.

I just don't know of its the right thing to pursue. We have been told by the consultant that we should try IUI for 6 attempts or IVF whatever we want to try, but IUI would be expensive to complete 6 and then have to go for iVF so we figure it would be cheaper to just try IVF first, but feel like we perhaps shouldn't need IVF as we have nothing wrong with us.

Obviously something must be wrong or we would be falling pregnant. I have tried everything, diet, acupuncture, reflexology, homeopathy as well as medication. No-one has ever suggested we try clomid, but I read all the time on here that you all try clomid first, why have we not been recommended this?

I look forward to getting to know all you lovely mum's trying to fulfill their dreams of providing a sibling for their wonderful first child
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

Posts: 224

Reg: Apr 28th 2008

Location: The North

Children: One daughter

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2

Monday, June 16th 2008, 6:52pm

Hiya, I also have a 4 year old, so frustrating having to have treatment this time when it was fine last time.

I really don't know enough about IUI or IVF to suggest you pursue one over the other- I suppose that if you have both options, try and work out which feels best for you and keep discussing it with the consultant and your DH.

As for clomid, you should suggest it and see what they say! It might not have sprung to mind if you are ovulating on your own but it can still be prescribed I'm sure.

Good luck with everything, I hope you have some success soon with whatever you choose to do!

x
TTC naturally.
Severe Endo & Adhesions.
Excision of Endo June '08.
Baby girl born May '09!

Soooz

Star

Posts: 3,154

Reg: Apr 3rd 2008

Location: UK

Children: 2 sons - Natural shock 99 & ICSI miracle 04

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3

Tuesday, June 17th 2008, 4:42pm

Hi Sally - I had my 9 year old ds conceived naturally and unplanned but were then told that my husband's sperm quantity and quality had deteriorated badly to the point where after 3 years of trying we saved for our icsi treatment and had our ds in aug 04. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason for it - my dh hadn't been ill although he does sit down all day for his job, but the quantities and qualities are so low now we have been given no explanation.

I think going straight for ivf is a good idea; but i guess this is because it worked for me first time.

Good luck with your decision
:xxx3:
:flowerbasket:

Proud mum to two sons - natural unexpected in 1999 :8o: and ICSI in 2004 : D

We must let go of the life we had planned;
to have the life waiting for us

Pootle

Megastar

Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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4

Sunday, June 22nd 2008, 12:20am

Hi! I have a 3 year old daughter and she was conceived naturally, and easily! Like you we wanted our wonderful child to have a sibling but things weren't that easy!

I had 5 cycles of clomid, as I wasn't ovulating properly. If your consultant thinks you're ovulating regularly then that is likely to be why he hasn't suggested clomid. You should ask - its unfair if it hasn't all been explained thoroughly to you!

We skipped IUI and went straight to IVF - I felt that time was running away from me a bit and wanted to get on with things - different for everyone though! Take your time, talk to your consultant and look round FZ - I found out loads here!

Wishing you lots of luck.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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5

Sunday, June 22nd 2008, 8:12pm

Thanks for all your help really good to see that we're not alone and that you have had a positive outcome with IVF congratulations.
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

Posts: 161

Reg: Apr 28th 2008

Location: Wales

Children: 1

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6

Sunday, June 22nd 2008, 9:43pm

Hiya; I too am in the same boat trying for my 2nd. Me and my Dh have also been TTC 3 years in July, when we had no trouble at all conceiving our son.

It is a horrible thing to want a sibling for your child so desperately isn't it? And secondary infertility is seemingly so common now, makes you wonder why eh?

My DS is 8 in September and I feel so sad that he has grown up this far without a brother or sister and may well never have one; that thought kills me.

Let's hope we find some answers and solutions eh?

Vicki x

  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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7

Sunday, June 22nd 2008, 9:53pm

Hi Vicki,

I know what you mean you just assume you can do it again. Have you been recommended any particular treatments?
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

Rufus

Star

Posts: 1,259

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: N Ireland

Children: One son, aged 8, daughter 1

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8

Monday, June 23rd 2008, 10:36am

HI, Sorry you haven't had the hoped for outcome yet. It is so hard to know the right thing to do. We tried clomid and IUI 4 times, but unsuccessfully. We could've had another 4 goes on IUi (as I had ovarian drilling in the middle and they started counting from 1 again). However, I have PCOS and endo and while that is by no means easy - at least I know my chances! My ds (7) was conceived once I had treatment for endo - so I did think it would be ok again.

I can honestly say the best thing for us to have chosen was to follow the adoption route. I have never felt better about any of the treatments we have chosen to try before and although it is long and hard to wait - I know the outcome.

I am not trying to force your hand to adoption, honestly! Just don't feel you have no options. We were alwaya going to adopt, I just thought I would have about 3 or 4 kids first! The best laid plans ....!

All the best in your decisions, any questions, just ask, Lesa x
Keep smiling :happy:

dwarf

Star

Posts: 1,283

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: in my own world

Children: ds 2yrs

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9

Monday, June 23rd 2008, 12:35pm

I had clomid to conceive ds as I have pcos. Luckily it worked firts time. Apart from us both being a couple of years older and more tired, nothing about our situation changed. However trying to conceive again was not so easy. After 5 mnthsclomid on high dose was still not ovulating. Paid for 3 iui ( was told normally worked within 4 if it was going to work, although that has not been the case or some of the girls here). Went for ivf and it worked. I was surprised at how much lower success rates were for iui, but then it works for some and not everyone needs to jump staright to ivf though.

tbh found that ivf first round using a different clinic and pharmacy was not disproportionately more than the final round of iui when we had lots of drugs.

I would make a list of qus for your consultant.

Good luck. Remember because you have conceived and carried one child, the odds are in your favour - as is your age.
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



Posts: 161

Reg: Apr 28th 2008

Location: Wales

Children: 1

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10

Monday, June 23rd 2008, 10:43pm

Quoted

Originally posted by louis2
Hi Vicki,

I know what you mean you just assume you can do it again. Have you been recommended any particular treatments?


Well it seems I'm not ovulating so will probably be going down the Clomid route for starters once I have my appointment with the consultant (in about 8 weeks' time). But have to check a few other things first; and my DH is going for his sperm test this week as there's a question mark over that as well because of medication he's been on in the past.

All good fun, eh? ?(

  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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11

Tuesday, June 24th 2008, 8:38am

Its so frustrating isn't it, I sometimes think it would be better to have something that isn't working right so I would have an explaination as to why I'm not falling pregnant at least then you can take medication to make the body function properly. I have no problems what so ever, I ovulate every month dead on time and af arrives the same time every month, I even feel when I ovulate. DH has super sperm and has actually been asked to donate!

AAaaaaah X(

Hope everyone is nice and calm and full of PMA

I'm trying, I'm due to ovulate in the next week but I feel like I'm rebelling this month not even wanting to try, DH keeps trying and I keep running away, I think I'm just avoiding the heartache that is inevitable again at the end of the month.
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

  • "philippa_s" is no longer a member of FZ

Posts: 2,854

Reg: Jan 12th 2008

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12

Tuesday, June 24th 2008, 9:19am

Hi Louis

Just been reading ur last post and wondered if you have had ovualtion comfirmed by blood test. The reason I ask is that I had regular periods and had ovulation pains mid cycle yet when I had a lap and dye (on day 13 of a 26 day cycle) there was no sign of ovulation. Also confirmed by a blood test after this.

If you haven't it may be worth a go but if you have no worries

We also skipped IUI and went for IVF after clomid due to impatience more than anything else, thought it would more or less guarantee I would get a embie at least, oh how wrong I was lol as didn't respond to the drugs so cancelled in the end.

Good luck

P x
2 gorgeous girls and 1 on the way

  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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13

Tuesday, June 24th 2008, 8:05pm

Thanks hun,

Yeah I have had that blood test and when we had the IUI's I was scanned and checked every other day around ovulation and then implanted when I ovulated so its all working well!

Congratualtions on the great news, I'm sure we will get a BFP soner or later just have to wait patiently. Something I don't do very well..........
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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14

Tuesday, July 8th 2008, 7:48pm

Well I have 4 days until the dreaded witch comes to town. Pretty sure we're unsuccessful again, have to say I am so sick of trying now. I wish I could just give up I really don't want to try anymore.
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

dwarf

Star

Posts: 1,283

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: in my own world

Children: ds 2yrs

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15

Tuesday, July 8th 2008, 7:55pm

everyone gets impatient with it all..and frustrated - it's only natural. Don't give up yet. It can and does happen for lots of people.
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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16

Sunday, September 7th 2008, 10:12pm

Hello again.

I know it has been a long time since I last wrote but I have been trying to forget about this whole thing and just let nature take its course, but if I don't get my feelings down I think I'm going to explode.

This week has been a difficult one for me, my DS has started school and it is breaking my heart not seeing him, he's loving it at school and I'm being really positive in front of him. I've also just got my period today which is always a nightmare and to top it off one of my close friends has just rung me and told me shes 4 weeks pregnant, I can't believe how insensitive she is. She knows we've been trying for ages and how upset I am by the whole thing, I knew she was trying but its only been 3 months. Its not that she is pregnat that bothers me so much, I'm really pleased for her, and I won't have to deal with it too much as she lives miles away from me, but it was the way she told me. I answered the phone and she just blurted out I'm pregnat before she even said hello! I have just spent the last 3 hours sobbing and my husband is bloody useless, he said are you alright and I sarcastically said never been better and that was it back to watching the footie!!!

I could bloody murder him right now, I don't even want to sleep next to him I might suffocate him with a pillow.

He just doesn't understand, this afternoon we were talking about this months IUI and I said I don't know how many more months I can takethe let down of not falling, and he just said well you might have too! and that was it?!!

Please somebody make me feel better, I don't want to talk to any of my friends nobody understands
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

Posts: 356

Reg: Apr 2nd 2008

Location: England

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17

Sunday, September 7th 2008, 10:32pm

Hello Louis

I don't know if I can make you feel better, but I want to say I can understand what you are going through and remember your husband is a man, which has a lot to do with his reactions to you. big :hugs: have some :chocs: and :flowerbasket: on me :goodluck:



Angie
:goodluck: loads of babydust babydust and :sticky: jilly

Posts: 98

Reg: Aug 10th 2008

Location: The Far North

Children: 2 gorgeous little girls!

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18

Sunday, September 7th 2008, 10:33pm

Hi Louis2

I think I am maybe in the same boat as you. I feel like the whole baby issue is mine and my 'DH' is just here for the fun. I stress about things not happening and he doesn't seem to notice which really upsets me and I find myself getting really annoyed about petty things. I can honestly say I don't like the way I am becoming at times. I'm sure it is the pressure and the feelings of pure helplessness but I would like it to end. I find it difficult talking to my friends about it too. I have shared how I feel with my younger sister who has been a great support but it's like admitting failure and I don't like to do it.

At work, one of the girls is pregnant and I am delighted for her. But she is completely in a baby world and talks no stop about it and often lies back and rubs her tummy at breaktimes and lunch. I have to say I find it hard some days and I know I will this week as I feel really hormonal. I'm on day 3 of 100mg clomid and it appears to be severely playing around with my hormones. I am generally quite upbeat but I have been feeling quite down the last few days. I felt the same last month for about a fortnight.

I don't think men have the same outer emotions as we do. I know I wear my heart on my sleeve but my husband never shows a thing. I find it really hard and I can imagine me having the same 'are you alright?' conversation with my husband as you describe. I think maybe we need to be more forceful of how we are feeling with our other halfs. I know my husband needs me to tell it to him like it is. There is no point in pretending that it's ok and hoping he'll read between the lines because he can't/won't!!

I really feel for you and am willing to chat more if you want? Take care.

x L x





[zx160]I love my gorgeous girlies!
They are my whole world![zx160]

  • "louis2" started this thread

Posts: 603

Reg: Jan 18th 2008

Location: norwich

Children: 1 son 8

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19

Sunday, September 7th 2008, 10:39pm

Thank you I know you are right and I know I should talk to him but I'm not sure he'll actually be able to help me, he just doesn't understand the constant sadness that trying for a baby brings me.

Its really helpful to hear I'm not the only one feeling like this, not that I would wish my feelings on anyone. I just don't know what to do. I'm having some hypnotherapy done on Tuesday morning, boy has she got a hard job to do this week, and I'm seeing my GP on Wednesday so I don't think I'll bother wearing mascara this week at all!

I really hope we can find some happiness real soon xx
DS: 8
TTC: 7 years
3 IUI 3 IVF all BFN

Miracle natural pregnancy 2 months into adoption
Baby girl due 10th Sept. 2012

Pootle

Megastar

Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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20

Sunday, September 7th 2008, 11:41pm

Hi, I'm sorry to hear about your rotten day. Its hard isn't it to hear about other people's pregnancies.

My DH and I had a really difficult time whilst we were going through the clomid and the IVF - found it hard to communicate and I felt he didn't really understand why it was soooooooooooooooooo always in my mind or my motivation for wanting to go through it all. Things came to a head earlier this year and we're trying hard to communicate more and provide each other with more support. Not easy though.

Have you thought about starting a diary in here? Its really great to get all your thoughts out and you'll get lots of support from people who do understand.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


    United Kingdom

Posts: 235

Reg: Jun 25th 2008

Location: Cornwall

Children: DS May 06 & DD Sept 09

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21

Monday, September 8th 2008, 10:45am

Hi Louis,

Have just been reading your post and can really relate to it. It all sounds so similar, allthough I am not trying at the moment as have just had m/c and have got to wait, but D/H just says nothing about it.

I really hope that things work out for you and I agree that spilling your thoughts on :FZ: can really make a big difference.

Wishing you lots of :goodluck:


06/01/09 hpt :BFP:







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