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  • "Nessie455" started this thread

Posts: 6

Reg: Jan 31st 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Sadly no children

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1

Wednesday, February 20th 2008, 12:09pm

Adopting/Fostering HELP!!

Hi to all,

I hope you can help. Sorry its a bit long. I have PCOS and we are unsure to go for IVF due to such the low success rate and heart ache. We will continue naturally and just keep trying.
We have looked at fostering, but after having both Private and council agencies visit us to talk, we have been told that basically, if we do not want a teenager, disabled child or have 2 spare bedrooms for sibling groups then they may not be able to foster. We wanted to foster young children, but in my area, they don't need foster carers for younger children. SO we have decided fostering is not the way to go.

After long discussions, my partner and I have discussed the possibility of adopting a child from abroad, possibly Bulgaria, but we dont know where to start.
We both love children and would dearly like our own, but if that isnt possible, Adoption would be the next best thing. Our local Adoption agency charges for registration without any guarantee of finding a suitable child especialy to adopt a British Baby which is impossible.

Can anyone please point me in the right direction. Do you have to pay for adoption in Bulgaria? Any advice appreciated.

Thankyou
Nessie
Nessie
Life is what you make it.

Posts: 2,625

Reg: Sep 26th 2005

Location: kent

Children: 6 yr old gorgeous girl, single mum now

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2

Wednesday, February 20th 2008, 12:18pm

RE: Adopting/Fostering HELP!!

Quoted

Originally posted by Nessie455
Hi to all,

. Our local Adoption agency charges for registration without any guarantee of finding a suitable child especialy to adopt a British Baby which is impossible.

Can anyone please point me in the right direction. Do you have to pay for adoption in Bulgaria? Any advice appreciated.

Thankyou
Nessie


Hi Nessie, I'm surprised that a local authority charges- it must be a private agency.

The chances of adopting a young child ae actually pretty good, have a read through the adoption diaries on here.

Adoption isn't without its complications but can be a wonderful journey and my dear daughter is no way the "next best thing" to a birth child, she is our everything.

try checking with your local council fostering and adoption services, as for international adoption, you will have to pay a fee to be processed- even by the local authority- they prioritise finding families for children in their care, whereas processing you for international adoption is seen as a "service" they provide as an extra and therefore you pay.

good luck with your journey
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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Rufus

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Posts: 1,259

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: N Ireland

Children: One son, aged 8, daughter 1

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3

Wednesday, February 20th 2008, 5:11pm

Oh Nessie - some agencies just are so unhelpful. One of the girls in my course is currently trying to adopt form Bulgaria. Country wise I don't know if it is a great choice, but if you want to find out more please pm me.

You will have to pay for your home study assessment and probably visa amnd some legal costs, I can find out more if you are truly interested. The dfes website is good and if you want to do some research I will help you out.

Hope you find the right answer for you, love Lesa xx
Keep smiling :happy:

kar1

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  • "kar1" is no longer a member of FZ

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4

Wednesday, February 20th 2008, 9:50pm

hiya nessie

i really think you need to explore your feelings concerning IVF/ adoption!

Neither road is easy to take and please if you feel an adopted child would be the next best thing i really think you should look into IVF first.

IVF can be very successful, you could even try IUI
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

  • "Nessie455" started this thread

Posts: 6

Reg: Jan 31st 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Sadly no children

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5

Wednesday, February 20th 2008, 10:59pm

Hiya,

Thankyou for your reply. Having re-read my post, I realise that when I said "the next best thing" I think it seems to have made the impression that the child would be the "next best thing".
I really didn't mean the child. It was just the way I typed my post. Of course an adopted child would be our son/daughter and I have absolutely no reservations about this. I meant the best avenue for us to take would be adoption as opposed to fostering.

Thanks

Nessie
Nessie
Life is what you make it.

Posts: 3,072

Reg: Dec 18th 2007

Location: Bath

Children: one perfect little miracle baby boy - now trying for a little brother or sister !!

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6

Wednesday, February 20th 2008, 11:03pm

Hi Hun whatever you choose i wish you and DH the best of luck xx xx


IVF 5th time lucky
- BFP
Trying for No 2 - BFP


  • "Nessie455" started this thread

Posts: 6

Reg: Jan 31st 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Sadly no children

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7

Thursday, February 21st 2008, 10:04am

Quoted

Originally posted by Sammysue
Hi Hun whatever you choose i wish you and DH the best of luck xx xx


Thankyou Sammysue :smile:
Nessie
Life is what you make it.

Posts: 2,625

Reg: Sep 26th 2005

Location: kent

Children: 6 yr old gorgeous girl, single mum now

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8

Thursday, February 21st 2008, 11:34am

nessie- it might be worth enquiring with your local authority if they do concurrency- it is where you have a newborn placed with you under "fostering" arrangements then if the baby is unable to return to the birth mum you adopt the child. It takes a special sort of person as you have to be able to commit to meets with birth mum etc and times for her to try to bond/ prove parenting skills but it is great for the baby as they don't end up with as many changes. worth enquiring about if you are serious, and determined to have a "baby". Other than that I would say your chances of adopting a healthy toddler are just as good in this country as exploring international adoption- the trend seems to have moved a bit in tems of early intervention and lots of people are being placed with very young children/ babies these days.

You do need to be very sure in y our mind what you want though, as it is a difficult albeit very rewarding process. Every aspect of your life is looked into, you reasons for wanting to adopt are explored and questioned in detail, and it is emotionally draining. worth it if you are sure you are ready, but maybe a bit more finding out about treatment options might be a better start.
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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  • "Nessie455" started this thread

Posts: 6

Reg: Jan 31st 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Sadly no children

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9

Thursday, February 21st 2008, 11:41am

Thankyou vegemite,

I hadn't heard of concurrency fostering. I will do some research about it.

Kindest Regards

Vanessa
Nessie
Life is what you make it.

Ethel

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Posts: 1,646

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

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10

Thursday, February 21st 2008, 1:19pm

Good luck on your journey and please keep us informed how it is going


  • "Nessie455" started this thread

Posts: 6

Reg: Jan 31st 2008

Location: Manchester

Children: Sadly no children

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11

Thursday, February 21st 2008, 1:26pm

Will do Ethel, Thankyou. I am so glad I found this site.
Nessie
Life is what you make it.

Ethel

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Posts: 1,646

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

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12

Thursday, February 21st 2008, 1:33pm

Good

not sure if you have found the diaries section

http://www.fertilityzone.co.uk/board.php?boardid=137

but everyone is on different stages and Rufus is doing international





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