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  • "chicks" started this thread

Posts: 1,665

Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: Stroppyland!

Children: DS Born 2002 / DD Born 2010

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1

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:14pm

Age Gap

Well DH and I have finally got back on the TTC band wagon and are looking at repeating ICSI next year for #2.

The concern I have is the age gap between DS and #2, I had always planned about a 3 year gap but that wasn't to be for one reason and another, Jake will be 6 next year. Does anyone else have or know anyone with this size age gap? I am just wondering if it is likely that the LO's will be close or not (should we be lucky of course).

Me - PCOS
DH - Poor Motility & Morphology........
ICSI 2001 - DS / 2009 - DD - Our family is now complete :) :)







KIRSTY G

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2

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:26pm

Hiya chicks, My DS turned 6 about 2 weeks after the twins were born ... like you, we wanted about a 2 year gap, but here we are ... T, my little boy ... was a little funny at first, but because he's 'older', he could tell me what was bothering him ... i.e. that we wouldn't have time to play with him. There's also a lot more you can do with an older child to make them understand. He 'bought' them so many toys while I was pregnant, and got so involved ... coming to scans etc .... he even helped pick their names. In an ideal world you would have a small age gap between your children, and have this vision of them growing up really close, and playing together etc ... but, with a larger age gap there's more of a big bro mentality ... which is beautiful to watch. He loves being abe to help out, and they are fascinated by him. In short, nothing to worry about (though I did)




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3

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:35pm

we have a 5 yr gap and spud loves H so much.....lovely to hear you will be trying for another one,....you make gorgeous babies! :smile:



I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!



Rae

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4

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:40pm

Hi Chicks

My twins were 5 when dd was born and they adored her and there was never a jealousy problem like there can be with younger ones. They do argue a bit now (twins are 14 and dd is 9) but just the usual sibling bickering.

I am trying for number 4 now so if it works I will have a 15 and 10 year difference!

X

Me 40
DP 43
twin boys born '93, dd born '98 [zx076]


  • "chicks" started this thread

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5

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:43pm

Aw thanks ladies, I feel more re-assured now, its funny that things don't always work out how you plan them but I guess in the long run its for the best. Its hard to judge how Jake will be when the time comes, he is good with my cousin's babies but I think he'd be less impressed at one coming to live in his house. But we have a long journey before all that happens.

xxx

Me - PCOS
DH - Poor Motility & Morphology........
ICSI 2001 - DS / 2009 - DD - Our family is now complete :) :)







  • "chicks" started this thread

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6

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:44pm

Quoted

Originally posted by willow
you make gorgeous babies! :smile:



Back at you honey xxx

Me - PCOS
DH - Poor Motility & Morphology........
ICSI 2001 - DS / 2009 - DD - Our family is now complete :) :)







Rae

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7

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 2:59pm

Also it's really nice to have some time alone with a new baby when the older ones are at school.

x

Me 40
DP 43
twin boys born '93, dd born '98 [zx076]


KIRSTY G

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8

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 3:02pm

Quoted

Originally posted by Rae
Also it's really nice to have some time alone with a new baby when the older ones are at school.

x



And sleep, of course :shush:




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Friday, November 23rd 2007, 3:03pm

i agree with that too..... :happy:



I'm running down the road like loose electricity, while the band in my head plays a strip tease!



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10

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 3:27pm

aww nice to hear you will be TTC again soon.

hoping ICSI goes well again for you this time round. all the best hun lurve

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11

Friday, November 23rd 2007, 7:30pm

I wanted a small age gap too but not meant to be! Realistically DD will be 4 ish if we're lucky next year.

A friend of mine has just had her 2nd child - her first is 6. DD1 absolutely adores DD2 and is so proud of her sister, wants to help etc. Its lovely.

Swings and roundabouts both ways I reckon!

x






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DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


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12

Saturday, November 24th 2007, 11:01am

You know I am so excited for you my lovely friend xx and be with you every step of the way.

V's (you know my friend) - M was nearly 6 when J was born and he loves his little brother (they do fight over the play station though!!) 10 and 5 now - like yesterday we dropped J off at school before going M's junior school and M gave J a lovely kiss on the head before he went into class - so lovely - they even share a room at the mo.

Your J is a lovely caring little boy anyway I am sure he will love a little brother or sister to help you look after xxx


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13

Saturday, November 24th 2007, 11:35am

I've got a 7 year age gap between my two and they adore each other -- I do think that it helped that Callum was so involved when I was pregnant - he came to scans - helped picked the nursery (well not really be he thought he did :snigger: ) and when we found out Gregor was going to be a boy he helped choose the name -Callum was so involved before Gregor got here and I really thinked that helped -- we never planned such an age as we started trying when Callum was 1 1/2 but you know there are plus points with such an age gap - I get to spend time with Gregor when Callum is at school and get to spend time with Callum when Gregor has gone to bed - or quite often I leave Gregor with DH and take Callum somewhere - like the pictures where Gregor can't come - so I get to spend special time with both my boys on their own as well as time for us all together.

Every morning when I drop Callum at school he gets out the car and then opens Gregor's door so that he can give him a kiss -- I don't tell him to - he just does it --

I don't think you will have anything to worry about Chicks --- everything crossed for next year xx
DS#1 FEB 1999 (CLOMID)
DS#2 MAY 2006 - MIRACLE !!





  • "chicks" started this thread

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14

Monday, November 26th 2007, 3:08pm

Thanks for all of the kind comments ladies, I do feel much more positive about the age gap now from hearing your stories, I also have some great ideas about how to ensure Jake feels involved when the time does come.

Just waiting to start now....roll on Christmas then we'll be almost ready.

xxx

Me - PCOS
DH - Poor Motility & Morphology........
ICSI 2001 - DS / 2009 - DD - Our family is now complete :) :)







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15

Monday, November 26th 2007, 4:15pm

My DH has a son who is 16 who is a lovely young man so by the time we have our little miracle there will be a huge age gap....great for babysitting :snigger:

ME 32
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16

Monday, November 26th 2007, 7:11pm

like you leanne if we ever have any more it will be a 16 year gap for us

( but we will have someone to take them to school..lol)

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17

Wednesday, May 14th 2008, 10:54pm

RE: Age Gap

My brother and I are six years apart (I'm the older) and we've always been very close.

More so than siblings I've known who are closer in age, who just tended to fight all the time.

8868dee

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18

Thursday, May 15th 2008, 5:25pm

hi my name is de
my dd will be 7 may 22 and we have been ttc#2 for 2 yrs
so we'd ave an 8 yr age gap if we got pg now i dont think its matters that much i think it can be better for the baby and child coz they each get both one on one attention and attention together. where as if they born within a yr of each ohter its harder to give one on one attention

de x x x



De:34 DH:36
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19

Friday, May 16th 2008, 11:59pm

My first two boys are 3 years apart and fight like cats in an alley! My 3rd so was born when the older boys were 4 and 7, and there was never any jealousy from the older boys. My 3rd son adores my eldest son now, and they are 7 years apart. If we manage to have another child, there will be at least a 10 year age gap between my now youngest and the baby, and a 19 year age gap between the baby and my eldest. My 9 and 10 year old are great about it all, and they want to be able to help out and stuff, and there's always the fact that they will be at school when I've got the baby so I will have him/her all to myself for at least some of the day.

Any age gap can be made to work, I personally think a bigger age gap is great.
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



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20

Tuesday, May 20th 2008, 6:17pm

I used to want a 4-ish year gap. Now my DS is 7 1/2 and quite frankly I would settle for any age-gap now, it's not a primary concern anymore.

I know a few people with a 6-10 year gap, and although I would have really wanted it to be a bit less, beggars can't be choosers and all that.

I admit I do get a bit wound up now when people say 'well if you had another now they wouldn't play together anyway'. Like I don't know that! So what am I supposed to do? Forget the idea completely? :angry:

(I hasten to add these people usually either have 2 or more kids closer together in age, or no kids at all.)

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21

Monday, August 11th 2008, 4:43pm

RE: Age Gap

My brother and I get on very well, always have. I adored him when we were younger, he was my "baby brother" and I loved looking after him.

My DH has a brother 3 years younger and then his mum had two m/cs - her last child, DH's sister, was born when DH was 10! They get on really well too - he's 26 and she's 16.

This post has been edited 5 times, last edit by "ArthursMummy" (Aug 11th 2008, 4:48pm)


Kezza

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22

Monday, August 11th 2008, 7:04pm

Hiya!!

Im 10 years older than my wee sister. My mum had problems conceiving 2nd time around and was told it would never happen! She bought me a puppy and a few weeks later she found she was pg!

I was just so happy when my sis was born as I always wanted a sibling. I was also able to help mum and dad out quite a lot!!

We are really close, especially in the last few years. We prob get on alot better than DH does with his brother who is 15 months older than him (so competitive with each other!)

xxoo
Kezza
DS born 03/12/09

donz

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23

Tuesday, October 21st 2008, 9:14pm

Hi there,

I have a couple of friends who have had a similar age gap (voluntarily) with their children and everything is fine with them.

I used to worry about this also as ds is 7 in February and my baby is due April/May but one friend was explaining to me that although there is an 8 year gap between her two boys she found it was extra special because they didnt feel they had to compete and they just purely loved eachother to bits and were very close. I found that this was one of the best things anyone had ever said to me and the best way of explaining the advantages.

34 DH 31
TTC 5yrs
1 x IVF BFN
1 x FET BFN
3 x Clomid BFN
2 x I.U.I BFN


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24

Wednesday, October 22nd 2008, 9:04pm

Donz -- you are going to have the exact gap I have with my boys ... Callum was 7 in February 06 and Gregor was born in May 06 :D and they get on brilliantly :D
DS#1 FEB 1999 (CLOMID)
DS#2 MAY 2006 - MIRACLE !!





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25

Monday, October 27th 2008, 4:20pm

RE: Age Gap

Hi
I have a 7 year gap and it has worked out fine. I think what ever age gap you have there are advantages and disadvantages!! I have just spent a lovely half term week with my 14 year old and now doing it all agin with my 6 year old - just doing different things!
Hope that helps!
Vicky
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26

Monday, October 27th 2008, 11:07pm

Well there is now going to be a 9 year age gap between my DS and another child if I am lucky enough to have another.

I do find it funny that people are mentioning a 3-4 year age gap as being big! That to me is completely normal; there's almost 5 years between me and my brother and we get on really well. Never thought of that as a big age gap!

Like I said before, any age gap would do me now :sadface:

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27

Monday, June 29th 2009, 8:56pm

Hi thanks for this thread. It's made me feel quite a bit better about the windening age gap, if my treatment is ever successful.

I thought I wanted a two year age gap and here I am not pregnant again (yet :innocent:) and my son's two and a half. If I hadn't had a miscarried in March 2008, I would have had what I thought to be the perfect age gap, so that's point of some sorrow. However, my friend got pregnant at the same time had her lovely little boy (now aged 9 months) and whilst I would love to be in her shoes, it does look absolutely awful in terms of the amount of work and stress - and she's ten years younger than me - I wonder what sort of a wreck I would have been if it had happened.

So, I may have a larger age gap, if we get lucky with the treatment. Or I may have a lovely only child and still feel incredibly fortunate. We'll see....


R x







Me 41, DP 42
Diagnosis PCOS and old age!
DS 11/06 (clomid)
Mm/c of natural pg 03/08
1st IVF 02/09 (ectopic)
FET 08/09 :BFP:
cs booked for 20/04/10




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