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Alexp

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Posts: 23

Reg: Sep 21st 2007

Location: Nottinghamshire

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1

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 2:11pm

Fsh level in over 40s and hurting beyond despair

HI Again.

I have so many questions I need answering as the Drs and hospital I attend are all but useless in helping.

I was told after a clear normal hysteroscopy that my FSH level was 11.3
Recently I have Aps , Lupus, Antibody and genetic tests which have also come back clear.

I had a girl at 17yrs old and a boy at 20yrs old normally with morning sickness

Then I lost three babies in my mid twenties, I told the DRs that when I fell pregnant that I felt really ill and flu like at 3pm in the afternoon. I was fine in the mornings. They said this did not mean anything .
Then I went on to have a successful morning sicness pregnancy with Proluton injections. I did bleed alot however and was on bed rest. I had a little girl.

I have since remarried and after a successful reversal found in Dec last year I was expecting again. I felt flu like once again so told them. They would not supply the Proluton but gave me a tablet Duphaston instead. I tried to tell them what would happen and that could I have tests done. They refused ! The baby was dead on the scan at just under 12 weeks. Gutted.

( Im not ashamed to say how it affected me badly to the extent it shocked myself. After drinking a bottle of wine and a bottle of Sherry in an hour , I decided to cut myself with a stanley knife. I came to later, with FAt Useless Bitch carved into my arm. Yes I can remember doing this but needed to punish myself. Im sat crying now at the thought of what I had done. I hid this for 3 weeks from even my husband.) He was so shocked that he refused to try again for another baby)
Needless to say I have not done this again. Yes I feel to blame , Yes I feel useless and a failure but the fact that people had noticed the scars and stared at me as if I was a freak has stopped me doing this again.

I did however fall pregnant in April and had morning sickness- brilliant, but I had a slight show and then a scan- no heart beat but perhaps too early for one. Wrong I lost the baby that day.

Not once had I been offered tests or counselling. So on my follow up scan I claimed Discrimination. The fact that I am 43 and had children already , was the reason they did not want to help. I have always worked and paid my dues so I should see something for it.
It worked I saw the Top Fertility specialist within two weeks and had tests and Cameras within 8 weeks.Trouble is they still do not know why the babies die. All he said was my FSH level was 11.3 and for my age that was right. I had to again tell him that I had lost three in my twenties. Im sure they do not read through your files. They have discharged me now until I maybe fall pregnant again. Then of course they will give me an injection, aspirin and a bacterial vaginal gel. Why the bloody hell didnt they give me this before in that case.

Is this FSH high as standards go

Sorry to maon on but Ive had no one to talk to over all these years, so this is a release for me

Alex
A A PArsons

Posts: 912

Reg: Jun 15th 2007

Location: UK

Children: Soon I hope

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2

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 2:26pm

Hi Alex , i can not answer your question about FSH level, but i want to say how sorry i am for what has happened to you. :hugs:
Have you had any councelling now? If not you need to come to terms with your losses.
I hope you now have the support of your clinic and wish you the best at TTC. FZ is very friendly and there are a lot of friendly people and great advice and information here to help you.
I hope things get better for you soon and you finally get your little one xxx

Me: 39 DH: 36
TTC #1 since Feb 2004
AMH level 7.7
Endo & Fibroid removed Sept 09




Eeyore

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3

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 2:39pm

Hi


A 'normal' FSH level is usually under 10, whereas an abnormal level is anything above 25 (under 6 is excellent, 6-9 is good, 9-10 fair, 10-13 diminished reserve, 13+ very hard to stimulate)

There is a thread HERE which has lots of info in


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Alexp

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Posts: 23

Reg: Sep 21st 2007

Location: Nottinghamshire

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4

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 2:45pm

HI.
No I have'nt had counselling at all and was never offered it.

I must stress I am truly lucky to have three children from a previous marriage and was blessed then, but its the hurt I feel after the losses that hurt. I do get " well you do have kids, Its not meant to be, others are not as fortunate"

I honestly do understand how they must feel at not having any, and its more about the grief I feel for the ones I have lost. This husband is so so special Im older , wiser and more patient and just want part of him to share our love. Corny I know
but true.

I have quite a few friends who cannot conceive and know how they are hurting too but find it hard to talk to them because I feel guilty at having the three I have got.

(sorry but will come on line later I have to go to work now

Thanks for your reply

Alex
A A PArsons

JENSQUI

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5

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 3:30pm

so sorry to hear of your losses Alex. I don't think the fact you have other children diminishes the hurt you feel when you lose a baby.

sorry to ask a question on what is such a painful memory for you, but have you ever discussed the cutting / drinking episode (sorry, can't think of a good word to use) with a dr at all? I can see that this shocked you such a great deal that you haven't done it again but I really think you would benefit from counselling to come to terms with the grief you feel for your lost babies.

I don't have any advice for your situation but you will always find someone on here to listen to how you feel xxx


me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
BFP Jun 08 - early loss
BFP Dec 08 - HB & CRL ok @ 8 wks, but sac too small, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Apr 09 - Martha born 9th Jan 2010
BFP Feb 12 - Eliza born 13th Oct 2012

mrs_smiff

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Reg: Jan 10th 2007

Location: Somerset

Children: 5 kids aged 21,18,14,13 and a little miracle born April 09

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6

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 3:32pm

Alex, you poor love, you have been through so much. It's no wonder you struggle to cope when you feel like you have been dismissed out of hand by the medical profession.

I also have children from a previous relationship, I was sterilised in 2000 when my violent marriage broke down, and only a year or so after having my daughter. I regretted it immediately. I can remember coming to in the hospital thinking, no, what have I done? I remarried last year to a fab guy who doesn't have kids of his own and would dearly love to be a daddy to his own baby. He has a very low sperm count at times with low motility as well so we haven't yet gone down the path of reversal for me. we had one previous attempt at IVF with ICSI earlier this year and we are now waiting the results of the second attempt.

Let me say this one thing though, and if you don't leave this site with anything else other than this, I will be satisfied.

JUST BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAVE CHILDREN DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS PAINFUL WHEN YOU STRUGGLE TO CONCEIVE!!!!

Alex you have been treated so badly by doctors in the past and you probably wont get any answers from anyone now unfortunately. The upside is, that you have managed to conceive recently. I know you had another devastating loss, but the chances are that you will manage it again. When you get pregnant again, I would stamp my feet from the outset until someone listens. If you still have the name and contact details of the last fertility specialist you saw who gave you the tests, I would get in touch with him as soon as you know you are pregnant.

With regard to the self harm before where you felt so low you cut yourself, believe me, you are not alone. Is there any chance you could speak to your GP about a referral to Adult Mental Health services in your area? They will be able to offer you counselling, someone to talk to, someone to make you make sense of what happened to you. It helps, trust me. As someone with a long battle against depression, and scars just like you to show for it, I talk with experience.

The most important thing to do now is to keep talking with your husband. Tell him how you feel about all the rejection from the docs before, and get him on side to get you through this. Tell him that part of your healing is going to be to keep trying for that much wanted baby. You aren't too old yet. Most clinics accept women up til age 44 and some overseas accept women older than that, so while you don't have a great deal of time, there is some. Could you afford private healthcare? If so, try and get a consultation with someone to discuss your concerns. Would you consider using donor eggs? If so then the chances for you are much higher.

There is hope Alex, there's always hope. Take care. x
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



Alexp

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Posts: 23

Reg: Sep 21st 2007

Location: Nottinghamshire

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7

Saturday, September 22nd 2007, 4:49pm

Thankyou for your replies I cant begin to Thank you all for being so understanding.

No I wont go to a counsellor or a Dr about this as we have applied to foster and it wouldnt look good on the records. Just because I did this once does not mean that I would do this to a child or anyone else. But they will not see it that way.
Im okay now and got through the last loss alot easier. I decided from the start not to build my hopes up too much. It did shock me and I have the words to remind me not to go there again. I dont normally suffer with depression or nerves so I put it down to the extra hormones and subsequent change.

Im actually quite pleased then with my FSH result especially at my age. I would love to try again but am very wary. I tell people Im not bothering again because that is what they want to hear me say. I would keep trying until I gave my husband what he so wants and deserves.
The only positive factor is that my youngest was conceived and born in between these losses.

We cannot afford private health care, my eldest daughter who is 25 has offered her eggs but they have part of my ex husbands genes so we wont go there. But what love she has for us to offer. My sister has offered to surrogate with my eggs and Tonys sperm but we cannot afford to do it- so back to the bedroom we go

And if I cant have one at least we can give other needy children the Love and support we could have given our own. We have so much to offer.

Im so glad there are others to talk to its helped loads.

BIG THANKYOU
A A PArsons

Posts: 1,315

Reg: Apr 23rd 2007

Location: London

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8

Monday, September 24th 2007, 6:37pm

Hi Alex
Im so sorry to hear all you have been through. Although counselling might help you, I can totally understand you not wanting it on your records as you want to foster. If you went for counelling privately, would it go on your records? I had some counselling when my mum died suddenly leaving lots of unresolved issues and it helped me a huge amount - as far as I know it isnt on my medical records as I didnt tell my doctor.Your daughter is obviously a really special person to offer her eggs to you, what a wonderful gesture! I wish you lots of luck on your journey, and as Mrs Smiff says, never give up hope.
Let us know how you get on
xx
dizzyduck
Me 42 DP 40
TTC 3yrs
IVF Oct 07 and Jan 08 - both poor response & converted to IUI - BFN
May 08, Aug 08 and Oct 08 natural :BFP: m/c at 6, ,5 and 9 weeks :sadface:
May 09 another shock natural :BFP: Perfect little boy born 12 feb 2010.

Pootle

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Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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9

Monday, September 24th 2007, 8:47pm

Hello Alex, I've just read your thread and wanted to reply.

It was me that started the thread that Eeyore has posted a link to, because I also recently had a high FSH result. I freaked out a bit to be honest! And, I also am very lucky as I have a beautiful child already - but as Mrs Smiff says - just because you are already blessed does not make it painless when you are unable to conceive.

Anyway, I've calmed down quite a bit since my original posting (!) and done some research and it seems that FSH levels can fluctuate from month to month. Perhaps you should demand another FSH test from your GP surgery?

Also, it seems that there are things that may help reduce FSH levels - acupuncture, starflower and wheatgrass are the ones I keep coming across! Not sure how much credibility these things have but worth a shot in my book. At the very least, trying to impact positively on the results makes me feel more in control and much better.

Wishing you lots of luck and remember that there's always someone on FZ to listen.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


Posts: 356

Reg: Apr 2nd 2008

Location: England

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10

Monday, April 7th 2008, 6:48pm

Hi Jodie

I am new here and would like to know how high your fsh was when you got that lovely positive result. I have children, but have re-married and woud love to share that something extra special with my DH. I have been told that I have high fsh, but really don't feel it wil stand in the way of me getting pg, because I have read so many stories in which women with high fsh go on to have babies.

I hope that your dreams do come true and lots of babydust to you.


Angie :happy:
:goodluck: loads of babydust babydust and :sticky: jilly

Posts: 2,235

Reg: Feb 11th 2007

Location: Cornwall

Children: My children are wonderful!

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11

Tuesday, April 8th 2008, 6:23am

h


Me 39, DH 40 Children, Lucy and DS (7)
Lucy lost in car accident 8th April 2002
TTC 6 years - ICSI x 4 - :BFN: x 4







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This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Spider" (Apr 8th 2008, 6:23am)





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