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Morganna

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Reg: Jul 1st 2007

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Sunday, July 22nd 2007, 8:17pm

Adopting and medical conditions

Hello all,

Myself and my OH are still in the early stages of our TTC journey, so we are not attempting it currently. However we talked about adopting even before we started TTC and so it is something we may one day want to attempt, even should we be able to have a child of our own.

I've been talking to my sister alot, as although she has three children of her own, she is very keen to start the process of adopting a child from overseas (probably China) sometime in the next few years. So we've both been looking into it together and discussing it keenly.

So although we are obviously not looking into it for right now, I would like to know if its remotely possible, should we want to pursue it at some point. I know its all dependent upon whats happening at the time, i.e your health, financial state, you passing the home check, etc.

However, what I basically want to know, is would we ever be allowed to adopt as my OH has diabetes type 1?

I know you have to have a medical and that your health is very important. However, have any of you attempted adoption, or even heard of anyone attempting adoption, who had a pre-exisiting medical condition of some sort?

The only thing I've been able to find, is a UK website that I can't seem to find now, that says if you have diabetes you will need to alert them to this and further discussion, and consulting of medical professionals would be required. That made my OH feel hopeful, as it didn't say an outright "No".

We are most interested in adopting from abroad, if this was at all possible. I have read the guidelines of many of these countries, and they all mention various medical conditions or health problems that mean you can not adopt. However none of them mention diabetes.

I did think about asking our county council, and I have requested their publication on overseas adoption. But is it much too early to ask them about this? Should we wait until we are actually ready? I feel like maybe we should, which is why I've not asked them yet.

My OH is 44 and his diabetes is well managed.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Morganna" (Jul 22nd 2007, 8:47pm)


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Sunday, July 22nd 2007, 9:12pm

you need to be able to be fit and healthy enough to see any adopted child through to adulthood at least. You could try ringing your local authority adoption agency if you really wanted advice, each one differs. There is no hard and fast rule it is down to what you have to offer and your health is a player but the thing is, adopting is all about the childs needs rather than the adopters, so they will only approve people if they are confident all will be fine, saying that for domestic adoptions there is a shortage of people for sibling groups, ethnic minorities and older kids so some people can be fast tracked.

It would be worth phoning up and speaking to the duty social worker though.

In terms of international adoption from the UK mainland you would have to pay for it all and I can't say how the countries concerned would view any medical conditions. best ask a social worker. as I say it varies from one place to another but the basic thing is fit and healthy enough to provide a child with strong (and potentially difficult) parenting through to their adult years, and once you are approved you will be "in competition" (it isn't about reaching the top of the list) with other couples- but in saying that your dh might be diabetic but everyone has something going on don't they? it may be you are in a better financial situation/ have more experience with children/ have a desire to support a child with special needs etc. and one step on- a diabetic child? well what a great resource you two would be for that!

can I ask why international when there are so many children here needing parents? rufus is in NI and its what is the way to go there. It interests me why people in this country would overlook children needing a home here to go abroad?
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



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Morganna

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Sunday, July 22nd 2007, 9:53pm

Hmm, thats all very interesting, thank you for the reply.

Regarding being fit and healthy enough to see a child through to adulthood, my OH has already raised two children (now in their teens) and did this with no problem.

Afterall, having diabetes doesn't mean you are any less active, it basically comes down to just needing to inject insulin after each meal and to check your sugar levels regularly. Getting, and staying, fit is vital to diabetics - you have to be in good condition to avoid later complications of diabetes, so diabetics have even more motivation than the rest of us, to be healthy!

There are complications from diabetes that it is possible to get, but these happen if you are not in good control of your blood sugar levels, are overweight, etc. Plus, these complications tend to happen much later in life, i.e when you're an elderly person.

So there is no doubt in my mind whether he would be fit and healthy enough. However I am concerned about them having a knee jerk reaction when they hear the words "type 1 diabetes". I have no idea how they will view it.

I've looked into how international countries view health conditions, and they seem fairly flexible. They all have long lists of health conditions and problems, but diabetes is not a part of any of the lists. However, it seems to be something that the UK is concerned about. Thats whether I suspect the problem may come up, on the UK side, i.e being approved.

But as you say, everyone has something, don't they? And wow, I'd not even thought about having a diabetic child! We could definately raise said child appropriately.

Regarding your question as to why I'm interested in international adoption, it is not that I am ruling out possibly adopting from within the UK. That is something I will be willing, and happy, to look into.

But why am I also very interested in the prospect of adopting internationally? Lots of reasons, really. For a start, I am mixed race and so the idea of bringing up a child of another race, to have such a positive race-related childhood as I had, appeals to me. I feel I would have so much to give to it. However, I know I could possibly adopt a child of another ethnic background in the UK, so its not just that.

I am half Indian and in India, the practice of female feticide has eliminated approximately 50 million females, according to UNICEF. I would love to be able to adopt a child from India, again I feel like I have so much to give them, considering my happy inter-racial childhood. Said child would fit in beautifully in our big family.

**post edited by Team Admin - statement made deemed to unsuitable for this site**

However, even if its not from India, there are so many babies and children all around the world without homes. We could provide such a good one.

Lastly, I’ve been advised by a social worker and an agency, that some of these countries are more flexible than in the UK, in areas such as age, health, etc. They also told me that the length of time it would take might be quite a bit shorter than in the UK, which may very vital to us, as we want to carry on our TTC journey first, so who knows how old my OH will be by the time we're ready?

Like I said though, I’d still consider adopting from within the UK…


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Morganna" (Jul 22nd 2007, 9:55pm)


Ethel

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Sunday, July 22nd 2007, 10:23pm

HI

You will still have to go through the adoption process in this country first, ie prep days, home visits, panel etc and then go on to the international bit after. If def will not be quicker for you.

Our international girl is away at the mo but I am sure she will advise you when she gets back.


Morganna

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Sunday, July 22nd 2007, 10:49pm

Hi Ethel,

Hmm, a social worker I know said that even with the UK side of things, it would be quicker. I presume they were talking about getting a child assigned and placed stage, being quicker? I don't know!

However, after a very informative PM from Vegemite, I am now doing a lot more research about UK adoption! Its all very interesting!

I've been looking at adoption agencies that cover my county and its fascinating. I'm making my way through http://www.adoption.org.uk too and discussing it with my OH, who is very interested in it too.

The diabetes thing is concerning me, and that adoption.org.uk says if there is a big(ish) age gap between the partners, they have to take that into consideration. I'm in my 20s and my OH is in his early 40s. So I wonder if that would be a possible problem.

Also, in the past, my OH had some awful mortgage financial problems in the past, when he lost his job and was put on the sick, for bad depression, by his GP. In the end, his house was repossessed. My OH has never even had a credit card, so it wasn't any debts in that sense. Just the bloody house mortgage. Do you think that would cause a problem? We're both financially stable now and no debt problems.

We're thinking about looking into the process a bit earlier than we were thinking. What do you two think? Is it best to give TTC years and then turn to adoption? Or, if your heart is open to adoption, what about considering it earlier?

- Morg


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Morganna" (Jul 22nd 2007, 10:52pm)


Morganna

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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 7:32am

I'd just like to say, that after the line "I am half Indian and in India, the practice of female feticide has eliminated approximately 50 million females, according to UNICEF." in my post, there was another line explaining, very very briefly, what is happening over there. However its been removed by a member of the Team Admin.

As this is a vital and very, very important reason why I am so interested in adopting from India, I want to point out that it was there originally, so you can understand that there was more to my reasons and as there is no note from the Team Admin that a line has been removed in my post, unlike in my sperm bank post, unless you saw it before it was removed, you wouldn't know it was ever there and therefore would not know there was more to my reasons.

As half of my family come from India and I have lost female relations to this pratice, its incredibly important to me. To be honest, thats why I find it a bit upsetting that its been removed but theres nothing I can do about it. So I just want to state that this is more to one of my valid reasons stated above and hopefully you can imagine (or guess) what I was talking about.

- Morg


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Morganna" (Jul 23rd 2007, 7:33am)


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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 7:48am

The reason why no note had been added to your edited post by 7.32am was because a PM was not sent to you until 7.20am and we simply had not yet got around to adding the note.

As a team, the moderators, super-moderators and admin team of FertilityZone work extremely hard to keep the site as an informative and supporting fertility site for its members.

It has been decided the graphic content you included in your post is not suitable for the site, as was explained in a PM to you.

Morganna

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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 8:05am

It wasn't graphic. I also explained it incredibly briefly and truthfully.

However, I'm not debating that. I have no wish to argue about it with you. As I said, theres nothing I can do about it but I wanted to say on this thread, that I had more to one of my valid reasons which I can't mention, so I'd like anyone reading and considering my reasons for being interested in international adoption, to remember that there is more to one of my reasons and to bear this in mind.

That is all and I can't see why that would be a problem.

- Morg


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Morganna" (Jul 23rd 2007, 8:12am)


Ethel

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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 8:38am

Hi

My husband is 11 years older than me and nothing was mentioned about the age difference at all - sure you will be fine.

Also they look at your financial history now not in the past - they just want to see your mortgage statement or rent statement to check paying on time and just what you earn etc and any savings etc so sure you will be fine. They will do a crinimal check on you both, ask for personal references, work references and also a medical.

I cant really advise you on what to do ie treatment first then adoption etc - its very early stages for you at the mo so i wld wait to see what drs say etc. But as soon as you start the adoption process you are agreeing to not continue other methods of ttc naturally.

I have been ttc for 8 years and decided cld do no more treatment and had deep down thought about adoption for a long time. I personally do feel i wasted alot of time ttc but 8 years is a long time.


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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 8:38am

As already explained, the team feel that your statement was graphic and not suitable for discussion in this forum.

We are sure that the members here are aware that all prospective adoptive parents have their own personal reasons for chosing adoption from overseas and that is not changed by your graphic comment being removed.

Morganna

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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 8:46am

I don't think you understand me. All I did, was post here to say that there is more to my valid reasons that I posted above. What is the problem with doing that?

As I said, I do not wish to debate with you about my statement. I disagree but theres nothing I can do about it, so a debate would be pointless.

However you seem to have a problem with me saying "There is more to the reasons I've stated above. Please bear this in mind when reading my reasons." I don't understand what is wrong with me saying that?

If you do not have a problem with this, then can't we either just leave it or discuss it via PM?

- Morg


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Morganna" (Jul 23rd 2007, 9:01am)


Morganna

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Reg: Jul 1st 2007

Location: Midlands

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Monday, July 23rd 2007, 8:50am

Hi Ethel,

Thanks very much for your reply, its was very helpful and comforting.

I'm so glad that the age difference for you was no problem, and that they only look at your current financial state.

I think we'll need to think a lot, and do more talking, about how long to TTC before looking at adoption. As you say, its very early stages and we will definately be trying to find out what the problem is with our fertility.

However we're very keen on the idea of adoption, so I think we'll need to think about it more. Have you ever heard of anyone going (almost) straight to adoption, rather than TTC? Or adoption first, than TTC?

I emailed, last night, a local adoption agency and enquired about my Other Half's diabetes. I'm anxious for their reply, I hope it doesn't take long.

Thanks again

- Morg.


TTC our first baby together.
Me - Possible fertility problem (PCOS?)
Him - Diabetes type 1
baby2

Posts: 2,625

Reg: Sep 26th 2005

Location: kent

Children: 6 yr old gorgeous girl, single mum now

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Wednesday, July 25th 2007, 9:07am

morganna- some people just decide tx instn't for them and do go straight to adoption- but this would be explored fully by the social worker concerned. I think they would probably be happier if you had explored the reasons behind any possible fertility issues but they certainly wouldn't expect you to have had tx. We didn't have much tx - it just wasn't for us.

with regards to timescales for international adoption- ethel is right, you do go through the same process and it can only happen so fast- you still have to wait for a prep course, do the home assessment etc which takes time. Depending on the country you may not wait long to be matched, but then we were linked with a child within two weeks of being approved and some couples actually go to panel to be approved, and matched, at the same time- its all unknown really- everyone and every child is different, so there are no guarrantees either way.

I can understand now why you are so interested in international adoption- and you would also be deemed a valuable "resource" (thats what they see us adopters as!) being mixed race as there is always a shortage of adopters representing ethnic minorities. good luck whatever you eventually decide!
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



** CLICK TO SUPPORT FZ **


Posts: 2,625

Reg: Sep 26th 2005

Location: kent

Children: 6 yr old gorgeous girl, single mum now

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Wednesday, July 25th 2007, 9:10am

Oh also meant to mention they will look seriously at dh's depression history too- and the financial stuff, they will need to be sure you can provide a stable financial situation.

They will also ask for a reference from his ex about his parenting and possibly interview his two children.

cheers
veggie
adoption...after a typically long journey, approved November 05, linked with strawb December 05, Brought our princess home May 06, aged 21 months

single mum since dec 08, and very grateful for the FZ support through the whole lot xx



** CLICK TO SUPPORT FZ **


pickle

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Wednesday, October 17th 2007, 9:58pm

Hi

I'm new here but I just wanted to say my sister has type 1 diabetes, and is registered partially sighted (she has 1 eye left) and she has adopted 2 gorgeous children
Nicki




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