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  • "gambouk" started this thread

Posts: 133

Reg: Oct 24th 2008

Location: south wales

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Thursday, November 27th 2008, 4:56pm

embryo transfer dilemma!

Hiya all
I really don't want to upset anyone who hasn't any children and is trying so hard, so I'm hiding out on this board as I think it may be a situation unique to those with kids already. I've had IVF following sterilisation; I have two daughters from my previous marriage and my current DH and I would love another child together. However I've always insisted that one embryo be put back - two kids of primary school age is a handful and one more would be just about manageable I reckon - any more would be a disaster! However I didn't bank on only two of my eggs fertilising successfully - we'd planned to freeze some as a Plan B. So these two embryos are all I have and all I'm going to have - I'm NOT doing this again! When we got to the clinic for egg transfer yesterday I was told that it was better for me to have both put back since they wouldn't freeze just a single leftover egg and that the chances of carrying twins were 30%. So we decided to do it, but now I am totally panicked. I would be gutted if I didn't get pregnant but on the other side of the coin would be really upset if I found out I was carrying twins! I feel so guilty that my ideal scenario involves one of my little embies not making it. I probably sound like the biggest of selfish cows and I think myself lucky that I got this far. Apologies for the rant, there's nothing I can do if it does happen, but I feel completely blindsided by this!
gambouk xx
gambouk xx

I am 36, have 2 gorgeous daughters aged 10 and 6 and have now completed my family with twins!




Calypso

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Thursday, November 27th 2008, 5:10pm

Hi Gambouk
I think you're very sensible for giving it such a lot of thought and consideration - I mean you have also got your children to think of. As you know, I had a disappointing result yesterday, and had one embie put back. I did actually say to my mother on the phone last night that, the positive side of that was the almost zero chance of me having twins now.

It's true that people desperate to have their first child, don't worry about conceiving twins, but that doesn't mean it isn't a scarey thought! Not to mention the increased risks during pregnancy.

HOWEVER, I think with just two embies and no chance of freezing, putting two back was the right thing to do to maximise your chance of success (I would have had two put back like a shot and I would by far prefer just one child). At the end of the day, if it is twins you will love them and adapt to their demands, because they won't give you a choice! :snigger: Good luck hun - don't worry! xxx





Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about learning how to dance in the rain



Jan 08 Fibroid removed. May 08 IUI - BFN :sadface:
Nov 08 IVF 7 eggs (just one fertilised :sadface: - BFN
May 09 ICSI 1 - 7 eggs (two fertilised) BFN :sadface:
Aug 09 Another fibroid removed
Nov 09 ICSI 2 - 1 mature egg (it fertilised) BFN :sadface:

My journey is now over

kar1

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  • "kar1" is no longer a member of FZ

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Thursday, November 27th 2008, 6:55pm

i personally think that if you really don't want twins then only have single embryo transfer

clinics are now having to reduce the rate of multiply pregnancies and will soon be suggest SET for many that are thought to have a good chance of success. I will always have 2 due to so many failed cycles.

i think the choice you made is a personal choice, you have made your choice now and nothing you do can control what happens so try and chill out and relax, its out of your hands
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

kar1

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Thursday, November 27th 2008, 7:10pm

i see your from south wales

where did you have your treatment?
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

  • "gambouk" started this thread

Posts: 133

Reg: Oct 24th 2008

Location: south wales

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5

Thursday, November 27th 2008, 7:58pm

hiya Kar1 and Calypso
thanks for the input! i think that it came down to a decision that had to be made in minutes (i was prepped for ET when they told me about the situation!) and I think that, all things considered, it's a calculated risk. At the end of the day I'd rather have twins than nothing at all!
i'm at the LWC in Swansea.
xx
gambouk xx

I am 36, have 2 gorgeous daughters aged 10 and 6 and have now completed my family with twins!




kar1

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Thursday, November 27th 2008, 8:02pm

good luck and i hope you get the outcome you want

my dh works is swansea
TTC 12 years

2 early losses

lots of ops and tx

both tubes removed

5th fresh short protocol
:BFP:

Tyler May born 5/5/2010 by emergency c section. Tyler is our sunshine

Jodie

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Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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Thursday, November 27th 2008, 8:05pm

Hi and congrats on being PUPO!

Its a hard choice to make isn't it? Personally, I was scared to death about the idea of twins but more scared at the thought of no pregnancy. I thought better for my DD to have 2 siblings than none.

I know there's evidence to prove that putting one or two back makes little difference to a successful result but in my mind I felt that putting two back gave me a better chance. As it happens I only had 2 embies, 1 of which was pretty duff, so I had them both put back in thinking that we'd just cope, as you do, if both stuck.

Kara's right - you are where you are, decision made, deed done, so you need to try and switch off the tortuous analysis (easier said than done I know!) and relax and hope for a lovely BFP in a couple of weeks. Deal with what comes after that when/if you need to - one step at a time!

Wishing you lots of luck.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


Welshbird

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Reg: Mar 8th 2008

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Friday, November 28th 2008, 7:17am

Hi Gambouk,

I too am in EXACTLY the same situation as you. I have 2 children from a previous marriage, have been steralized and re-married a wonderful man who has no children of his own.
I want nothing more than to be able to give him his own biological child. My 2 girls are a lot older than ur 2 chilrden and are 20 and 18. They hav known my hubby since they were 12 and 9. They accept him as a father, and he treats them as his own. They dont see their real father ... but thats another story lol ..

We too were in the same dilema as yourself ... BUT - after a lot of thought, we decided on 2, and that if the 2 took, then it was meant to be. I understand totally about your children being in primary school and not being able to cope. However, you HAVE to give yourself the best chance. Just because you have 2 children naturally, doesnt mean that 2 embryos will stick .... you will be very lucky if 1 does (tho i truley hope it does)

What im saying is, when i first did IVF back in 2006, i thought it would be a breeze, i knew the tx would be hard, but i didnt think for ONE minute that it wouldnt work. After all, i have had children, i can get pregnant (if the clips wernt there) theres nothing wrong with me or DH, it would be fine, we would maybe get twins, wot the hell - it would work, we would have our family!

Wrong!!!

How wrong was i - i felt as if i had been hit by a bus when i got my period a day before my test date!!! I couldnt understand why it didnt work ... how come, i just didnt understand it .... i was heartbroken.

So after a lot of heartache, it took me a long long time to get over our bfn, near on a year until i was prepared to try agin. 2nd time we wernt so lucky, we only got 1 egg at EC but it was a fighter and went on to a 4x cell embryo on day 2 it was put back. Begin the 2ww again ... i got to day 9 and my period arrived again .... i was devastated and blamed the clinic for not giving my enuff drugs, cos we could have got more eggs (i had 12 the first time at different clinic) if we had had more eggs, we would have had 2 embryos put back - number 2 mite have stuck, who knows???

And here i am again, and dare i say it - our last shot. Im 7 days after a 3 day transfer and have been up since 4am with period pains so bad ive had to take paracetomal - and im still in pain - we had 2 healthy embryos put back 1 x 8cell and 1 x 6cell .... but looks like agian it hasnt worked :( im trying not to give up the pma, but its becomming too hard now ...

What im saying is you have to give yourself EVERY chance that this will work .... so having 2 embryos put back is the best thing i feel u could have done. I wish u all the luck in the world hun ... i think its u that lives in Ystrad isnt it?? Well im the one from Ponty, just down the road lol .... us welshies have to stick together ;)

You have done the right thing ... and if by a miracle the 2 embryos do stick, once u hold those babies in ur arms, u know u wont regret it hun .... yes it will be hard, but worth every second of what u have been thru ....

Good Luck Sweetheart blowkiss

  • "gambouk" started this thread

Posts: 133

Reg: Oct 24th 2008

Location: south wales

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Friday, November 28th 2008, 8:40am

omg bec, keep us posted, i hope that it's not going to go wrong for you this time....wishing you all the luck in the world xx
gambouk xx

I am 36, have 2 gorgeous daughters aged 10 and 6 and have now completed my family with twins!







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