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Debs

Ace

  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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Tuesday, April 24th 2007, 10:17pm

Losing faith

Hi Everyone

I've not been on here for a while but its great to see everyones good news and all the new babies.

I have lost all faith in having another baby now and have stopped taking my pills and i have also cancelled 2 hospital appointments. What is wrong with me? is this normal to feel like this? I have another appointment on the 1st May but i don't see any point in going as i have not been getting my 21 day bloods taken because ive not took any of my tablets so my results would be wrong anyway.

Is there anyone else that has gone through this or am i being silly? I know i need to stick with it but i am fed up of the dissapointment every month and it is destroying me.

I'm grateful for any advice

Thanks

Debs x


TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP
:happy:

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x

JENSQUI

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Posts: 7,427

Reg: Feb 26th 2007

Location: Edinburgh

Children: one very special daughter

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2

Tuesday, April 24th 2007, 10:51pm

RE: Losing faith

HI Debs,

i'm sorry i can't offer any specific words of advice as i am not in your situation. however, it sounds to me like you are in need of a little time out. probably not forever, but just to give yourself time to breathe and recoup some strength. month on month disappointment really takes its toll and you end up with your life revolving around symptoms and signs from your body that could mean just about anything! why not go to your appt on 1st May and just explain how you are feeling and why you haven't taken your pills.
'treatment' of the psychological side of infertility is needed just as much as the physical side. and by 'treatment' i don't necessarily mean drugs or counselling - just awareness that it is affecting your quality of life and addressing that in any way which helps such as giving the whole thing a break for a while.

try not to lose your faith - there are enough stories on here to give us all faith. but don't beat yourself up about feeling like you haven't got the strength at the moment. you will get it back, your situation isn't hopeless and you're not alone.

take care xxx


me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
BFP Jun 08 - early loss
BFP Dec 08 - HB & CRL ok @ 8 wks, but sac too small, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Apr 09 - Martha born 9th Jan 2010
BFP Feb 12 - Eliza born 13th Oct 2012

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "JENSQUI" (Apr 24th 2007, 10:52pm)


Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

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3

Thursday, April 26th 2007, 9:10pm

RE: Losing faith

I agree with Jen, Debs - she says some wise things! It sounds like you just need time out from ttc. It's not the end and it certainly doesn't mean you'll never have another baby, but just time for a pause. Luckily your age means that you have time on your side. It's the perfect time with summer coming up maybe to look at having some lovely months with your child and your DH/DP and doing things for yourself, then see how you feel about all this.

Sorry I can't help you Debs as I've not been in the same situation but I hope others can share their experiences too.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

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Reg: Sep 24th 2006

Location: Up to my armpits in ironing

Children: Three gorgeous daughters!

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Thursday, April 26th 2007, 10:50pm

Hi Debs

TTC does hurt so much when you're not getting pg month after month. I've got no magic answer to make you feel better, but I just wanted to send you a huge :hugs: . I think Jensqui's advice is really good, but the decision is yours and you've got to do what is right for you. Whatever you decide, we're all here for you!

Take care hun, I hope you feel better soon!

blowkiss


Angel baby April 07, Angel baby December 07, DD1 August 09, DD2 March 11, DD3 October 13

Debs

Ace

  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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5

Monday, April 30th 2007, 9:07pm

Thank you so much for all your kind words.

I am going to go tomorrow and i am going to be honest with my cons, then i will see what she thinks aswell. I think i do need a break from it all for a little while anyway.

I will let you know how i get on tomorrow.

Thanks again xx


TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP
:happy:

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x

Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 9:42pm

Hope tomorrow goes well and you feel like your consultant has listened and understood you.
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Pootle

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Posts: 7,078

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Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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7

Tuesday, May 1st 2007, 12:39am

I hope your appointment goes well.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


dwarf

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Posts: 1,283

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: in my own world

Children: ds 2yrs

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Tuesday, May 1st 2007, 9:55am

Hope the appy goes okay. I understand how you feel. I think what adds to it subconsciously is you know you have been pg before so you feel even more like you are failing when you are not. Doesn't help when the whole world ays virtually the same to you too. I know what you mean about not feeling up to another bfn etc. Maybe the cons might suggest diff drugs or something?

Hope you feel better after the appt.
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



Debs

Ace

  • "Debs" started this thread

Posts: 218

Reg: Mar 15th 2006

Location: Scotland

Children: 2 DD 11 & 3yrs old. DS born 16/11/12. 2 natural 1 iui

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9

Monday, May 7th 2007, 9:56pm

Hi Everyone

Well i went to my appointment and my Cons was brilliant, I have decided to take a break for 3 months and then when I go back in August I can either continue with the Tamoxifen for another 3 months or get referred for IUI. I think I will go straight to the IUI. We will have to pay for it ourselves at £400 a shot but it will be worth it if it works. I am feeling more positive now and my Cons was so understanding.

I want to say a big thank you to everyone for their support/kind words it really helped.

Thanks Again

XX


TTC 5 Years
Me 30 - DH 32
DD - 8
1st IUI 25/10/08 BFP
:happy:

Our beautiful little miracle finally arrived on Tues 14/07/09 :D Baby Cara x

JENSQUI

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Posts: 7,427

Reg: Feb 26th 2007

Location: Edinburgh

Children: one very special daughter

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10

Monday, May 7th 2007, 10:03pm

HI Debs,

pleased that you are feeling much better - a plan always helps!! looks like it might be a good summer so here's hoping there's 3 months of sunshine to help you get nice and relaxed and ready for IUI.

:xxx:


me 38, DP 44, ttc since 2005
BFP May 07 - HB seen @ 8 wks but CRL only 7 weeks, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Jan 08 -m/c @ 11 wks (D&C)
BFP Jun 08 - early loss
BFP Dec 08 - HB & CRL ok @ 8 wks, but sac too small, m/c @ 9 wks
BFP Apr 09 - Martha born 9th Jan 2010
BFP Feb 12 - Eliza born 13th Oct 2012

    United Kingdom

Posts: 15,284

Reg: Sep 24th 2006

Location: Up to my armpits in ironing

Children: Three gorgeous daughters!

Thanks: 100 / 90

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11

Monday, May 7th 2007, 10:23pm

I'm glad you're feeling better Debs! It sounds like you've got the right consultant and a really good plan!

Enjoy your break and good luck with your treatment!

blowkiss


Angel baby April 07, Angel baby December 07, DD1 August 09, DD2 March 11, DD3 October 13

Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

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12

Monday, May 7th 2007, 10:26pm

So glad the appointment went well. A three-month break sounds good - not too long, but enough for a breather. :)
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

Pootle

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Posts: 7,078

Reg: Mar 31st 2007

Location: By the coast

Children: 2 beautiful girls.

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13

Monday, May 7th 2007, 11:14pm

Glad the appointment went well and that you now have a plan of action. Enjoy your break and fingers crossed for the IUI.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


Posts: 354

Reg: Mar 13th 2006

Location: scotland

Children: 1 DD

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14

Tuesday, May 8th 2007, 6:34am

Glad everything went ok at your appointment. Will keep my fingers crossed everything goes well with your iui.

Enjoy your break, sometimes I think we need it :]

Take care x
1 DD
2 X MC 07 ECTOPIC 07
IVF MAR 08 22 EGGS,FROZEN DUE TO OHSS
FET AUG O8 BFP BUT ECTOPIC
FET MAR 09 - BFN

Posts: 192

Reg: May 5th 2007

Location: At my lovely home

Children: Care Notts

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15

Tuesday, May 22nd 2007, 9:04pm

Hi Debs, I have just read through your thread. So glad you are feeling more positive now you have a plan. Have a great summer with your family, I am really concious that I just want to get too tied up in TTC and forget to cherish every minute of my son growing up it all goes so quickly. I have lots of friends who are on thieir third all since I started TTC for our 2nd and it does break my heart every time I hear about another but I have to pinch myself and remind myself how amazingly lucky I really am. although sayng that it does not stop the longing. :xxx3:
Clare

Me 37
DH 36
Beautiful Son 8yrs
TTC 5 1/2
4th ICSI Nov 08 - BFP!!! Its Twins!!!
Lily and Freddie born safe and well 13/07/09

mrs_smiff

Superstar

Posts: 5,387

Reg: Jan 10th 2007

Location: Somerset

Children: 5 kids aged 21,18,14,13 and a little miracle born April 09

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16

Wednesday, May 23rd 2007, 10:33am

I am so glad that you feel more positive after seeing your cons. I think we can get so bogged down with trying so hard to do everything that we need to conceive and when it doesn't work, it feels like a personal failure. I know I felt that way. I think taking a break is a great idea. You will go back into it feeling hopeful and positive, and refreshed for not having worried so much for 3 months.

Keep us up to date, and have a good rest from the hormones!!
Me 35,DH 36 (Severe Oligospermia.).
4th ICSI :BFP:
I have 4 lovely big kids
Thomas Derren (Thom) July 1990
Luke Benjamin August 1993
Harley John Oliver June 1997
Alexandria Aimee Jay (Alex) July 1998
Lochlan Cassius James April 2009 (4th attempt at ICSI)



dwarf

Star

Posts: 1,283

Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: in my own world

Children: ds 2yrs

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17

Wednesday, May 23rd 2007, 12:12pm

Good for you. So much of the time decisions seem to be made for us due to the circumstances and it must be positive to make them yourself. The iui sound like a bargain too!! Mine is 974 + 122(hosp fee)+ drugs. I'm moving!

good luck
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



Posts: 1,805

Reg: Oct 7th 2005

Location: x

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18

Wednesday, May 23rd 2007, 12:37pm

Debs - some advice on having come out the other side of the TTC journey....

1) start taking your temperature and charting, so you know your body - this really helped me when I lost hope to gain some feeling of control

2) if you havent already, get DH to get a sperm analysis - IUI is pointless if he hasnt got any swimmers. I know he has made one child already but sometimes his quality can experience a rapid drop

3) do what you are doing and take a 3+ month break - at your age (26) quite honestly you could take a year if you needed to. you're blessed with your youth to have some headspace room.

4) HSGs unfortunately dont tell all - I had endo which didnt show up on the HSG but once that was cleared post c-section I conceived #2 child naturally! I wish to god that I had insisted on a laparoscopy as it would have saved me years of heartache & treatment (& money).




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