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TraceyR

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  • "TraceyR" started this thread

Posts: 11

Reg: Jan 11th 2007

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 12:22am

Can't seem to cope any more.

Hi. Haven't posted here for a few months. Have three year old son conceived naturally and trying for second for over a year now. Had glimmer of hope in February with BFP but ended in early miscarriage. DH has just got quite bad SA results. At least they seem bad to us, but GP's interpretation was very vague (see male factor thread). Meanwhile I'm continuing to have erratic cycles, spotting before periods, sometimes mid cycle, so no idea when to aim for each month, and I've found ov tests and temperature charting no help because I never seem to get definitive results. Yet pelvic scans are clear, and day 21 blood tests are all normal. I've lost 1.5 stone at Weight Watchers in the last 6 months to be within healthy BMI, and now I'm having cranial osteopathy, but it all feels so hopeless. Another period has just arrived and I feel so angry and useless. I'm literally surrounded by people with babies, especially in my Mum's group where they're all having their second child. I feel so lonely there, as they know my situation, and must obviously feel awkward around me. If they didn't before they will now beacuse I snapped at one of the girls last week cos she was tactlessly gushing about how loevly it is that they've all had baby girls. Feel like just staying away from everyone, but then DS will be missing out on seeing his little friends, as well as missing out on having a sibling. Usually I cope well, and can feel positive that next month could be our turn, but in recent days I've just wanted to cry about this all the time. Sorry to go on, I know other people on here have been through much worse heartache, but I thought if I wrote soemthing down I might clear my head and be able to eventually get to sleep tonight.

Rhube

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Posts: 27

Reg: Nov 7th 2006

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 3:00am

Hi there - I am in just the same postion as you...we have a DS who will be 3 soon and we have been trying for no.2 for almost 2 years. Time isn't on my side and as each month passes I am losing hope.

All the mums I know from having DS are having or have had number 2 (some are on number 3) and when I see them I feel so sad.

I haven't told many people we are having these difficulties but am sure they look at me and just think I don't enjoy being a mum that is why we haven't had another.

I can't imagine DS growing up without a sibling and we have also started to look at adoption.

We are going to start IVF in June and if that doesn't work .... well we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

Are you seeing a consultant about your erratic cycles.....I have spotted before my period for years and was told it was a progesterone problem ... I take progesterone pessaraies 48 hours after ovulation for a couple of weeks.

Stay positive...you did have a BFP recently and there is no reason is can't happen again....

Rhube x




TTC number 2 since August 2005. Me 41, DH 39.
IVF No. 1 June 2007 - BFN
Due to start IVF No. 2 Feb 2008

Chilli

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 8:05am

Tracey I am so sorry you are feeling this way, it is difficult to understand why these things happen and sometimes we need to just let off steam.

I hope you got a good nights sleep and today seems brighter.

Good luck with your next cycle xx

    United Kingdom

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 12:13pm

I just wanted to send you a big :hugs:

This journey is a hard one, and one that a lot of people don't understand. The one positive thing is you've got all of us here for you when ever you need us.

I really hope you get the family of your dreams soon!

Good luck!

blowkiss


Angel baby April 07, Angel baby December 07, DD1 August 09, DD2 March 11, DD3 October 13

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 12:15pm

RE: Can't seem to cope any more.

Hi Tracey

Sorry to hear your feeling down. We know how you feel, especially when people are talking about having babies or wanting another girl or boy. Sometimes I want to say you should think yourself lucky you are having babies no problem.

It seems weird that your BBT didn't show you when you are ovulating, but the positive is that you Are ovulating so maybe bedding around every other day from day 9 of your cycle may help.....

Try and stay positive, like Rhube said you have been pregnant before and it will happen for you again...normally when you least expect it.


XXX
TTC naturally, five miscarriages 2006-2009, Immune issues

BLONDIE'S IMMUNOLOGY DIARY

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "Blondie" (Apr 30th 2007, 12:15pm)


dwarf

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Reg: Oct 4th 2005

Location: in my own world

Children: ds 2yrs

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 1:45pm

Hope youare feeling better. You are not on your own. A close friend of mine started trying at the same time as us. Her little girl is now 2 months and still no hope for us. Like you said everyone seems to be pregnant from my 1st time mum's group or the baby massage class I went to.

Also could quite happily punch all those who keep syaing ' when are you going to have number 2?' or'You better start thinking about the next one '. Don't seem to think about much else!

When I start to feel down about it - which is pretty often these days as I am convinced the iui is not going to work - I make sure I do something fun with ds as this does take my mind off it.

Think positive chick - you are doing all the right things. Wish I could lose a stone and a half!! Well done.
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



Posts: 830

Reg: Sep 13th 2006

Location: Hastings

Children: One daughter

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 1:51pm

Hi Tracey, I'm so sorry you're feeling so down and I'm sorry to hear about your mc in February too. Although it may not feel like a good thing, at least getting that BFP showed you can still conceive. Well done on the weight loss too - that's amazing.

I'll check the male factor thread as I know male results can be very misleading and GPs very vague. We did some stuff to improve DHs which I posted about in male factor thread back in January.

If your af isn't regular have you tried acupuncture or IVF to get it regulated? I swear by acupuncture for all sorts of fertility and other health issues and my best mate had very irregular afs but used reflexology (far more relaxing and less invasive than acu) to regulate her cycle helping her conceive her two boys.

Also Agnus Castus works very well. I took agnust castus for about 6 months and my cycle which was anything between 26 days and 36 days came down to a regular 28 days within about 4 months.

I hope you can find something to help - in my experience the alternative health stuff seems to work really well.

take care,

Emilia

This post has been edited 2 times, last edit by "Emilia44" (Apr 30th 2007, 1:52pm)


Pootle

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 7:40pm

Hi Tracey

I'm another one trying very hard to conceive a second child, and am getting more despondent all the time. Its so hard isn't it, especially, I think as people just assume that you have CHOSEN not to add to your family. And I'm also fed up with people asking me if we're going to have any more.

Anyway, just wanted to say keep your chin up and come and talk to us at any time - I think its an amazing group of women on here and although I'm a relative newbie, I've found so much support here already.

x






My family is complete...I am grateful every day

DD1, natural miracle, 2005
DD2, IVF miracle, 2008


Posts: 2,235

Reg: Feb 11th 2007

Location: Cornwall

Children: My children are wonderful!

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 8:08pm

Hi Tracey,

Haven't anything to add to the comments already made. We have been trying for no. 3 for 4 years after conceiving 2 with little effort. I feel awful when I see little ones and you have to put on a brave face and all but inside you are just crying.

I have told most people that we are trying, not very successfully, just because it stops them asking. It felt like I shouldn't need to but in the end it made life easier.

J


Me 39, DH 40 Children, Lucy and DS (7)
Lucy lost in car accident 8th April 2002
TTC 6 years - ICSI x 4 - :BFN: x 4







Spider's Diary


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Reg: Sep 27th 2005

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Monday, April 30th 2007, 9:46pm

Tracey, I echo what the others have said. I'm sorry you're having such a hurting time of it. It's both frustrating when things aren't working when there seems to be no good reason, but also theoretically good news that everything seems to be in working order. I just hope it's a matter of time for you, and a short time at that.

Hope you sleep better tonight.
xx
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D

dwarf

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Reg: Oct 4th 2005

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Children: ds 2yrs

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Tuesday, May 1st 2007, 1:30pm

A questionEmilia... what is Agnus Castus? What does it do? Who is it for? Where do you get it?
Me pcos. Ds born nov 2005 - 1 round clomid.
TTC no2 since April 06.
6 rounds clomid (skinny womb lining + vaired response),
3XIUI, 1X IVF.
BFP 29/12. All fingers and toes crossed.



Rufus

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Reg: Oct 3rd 2005

Location: N Ireland

Children: One son, aged 8, daughter 1

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Tuesday, May 1st 2007, 3:02pm

HI there, sorry you feel like this. I totally understnad, given that ds is 6 and we lost a baby that would be just over 4 now. It is so hard. Esp when people who have had one since you then have their second etc. But it does get easier and there are other ways. Don't give up hope - but I really and truly know that awful feeling. Much love Lesa xxxxxxx
Keep smiling :happy:

TraceyR

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  • "TraceyR" started this thread

Posts: 11

Reg: Jan 11th 2007

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Tuesday, May 1st 2007, 8:39pm

Thanks for all your wonderful support. It helps to know we're not the only couple having this problem, because that's what is often feels like. I've managed to keep my mind off it a bit since I posted. I woke up feeling down yesterday but made a resolute effort to spend quality time with DS and took him to the seaside. Today I've been engrossed in work. Think I'll try to get hold of some agnus castus, as well as supplements for DS that were suggested on the male factor thread. Are there any precautions or side effects with the agnus castus? The iregular cylces are certainly one of the key difficult issues because of never knowing the "target" time, then not knowing when to expect period - so I'm in limbo for ages and start noticing lots of non existent pregnancy symptoms while I'm waiting! I wanted to have reflexogy but couldn't as I have some veruccas. Not sure about accupuncture as I'm a bit phobic about needles so the thought of it freaks me out a bit. That's why I've gone for the cranial ospteopathy. The osteo thinks he's found imbalances that could affect fertility, and that the treatment is improving them, but my cycles are no better so far, although I think this period has been a bit less painful.

I've done the same as you Spider regarding telling people - ie be quite open so I don't have to constantly dodge questions about having a second. Sometimes I think I talk it about it too much though and people who haven't got the problem will start finding me a TTC bore. Then you can just see them thinking those patronising comments that they dare not say - "you just need to relax..." or "at least you have DS..". Sometimes I think we should have a break for a few months, but I'm just too scared of the ticking clock against both our ages (me 35 this year, DH 46 this year) and against the age gap between siblings. Also I think if we don't try we might miss the month when fate has decided its our turn and our chance will be forever lost - silly isn't it?!

Anyway, overall I'm feeling stronger to face it all again for another month, and not tearful today - maybe the premenstrual emotional hormones have faded away!

Hope we'll all get some good news soon. X

Posts: 2,291

Reg: Sep 27th 2005

Location: UK

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Wednesday, May 2nd 2007, 9:52pm

Tracey: :hugs:
Had a total of three fresh IVF cycles and three frozen transfers (embryos and blastocysts)
m/c @ 11 weeks in 2007 DS1 and DS2 born from fresh IVF cycles :D
:D




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