Hi Maria, thanks for the assurance that this is normal. It makes me feel
better to have an answer to my posed question, and to know that this
seems to be the same across the uk.
You keep referring to 'facts and evidence', and I'm unsure what facts and evidence should be produced? In the first pregnancy I went to the gp to ask what to do next, was told to make a midwife appointment, and they said they didn't need me to do a test for them. If the miscarriage had been spontanous and at home, what evidence would they have had for that one? I don't feel like I am lying about about my circumstances, just the actual test....that doesn't mean I am a terrible person. Just because the system doesn't recognise clinical evidence, but only chemical based analysis, surely doesn't mean I don't deserve the same treatment as someone who had not been scared into not taking an actual pregnancy test, which after all are not 100% accurate anyway?
There is nothing in my medical history, other than perhaps the finer
details of my first pregnancy, ie: measurements of fetal pole, that my
gp/gynae know that Zita does not. She has a full copy of my bloods,
husband's SA, history of periods, cycles, etc, ect...there is absolutely
nothing more in my medical records, and in some regards quite a bit
less. I am not being referred to a fertility consultant. No such thing
exists where I live. I am being referred to a general gynaecologist, who
deals with everything. I used to work in the appointments section of
the hospital, I am aware of their proportion of miscarriage
investigation compared to other conditions, and it is minute. There is
no speciality for it here, as it's not called for on the same scale as hysterectomies, teenage STDs, abortions, etc. I
can completely appreciate this, as the NHS need to spend wisely, and if
this is where there is little call, then they cannot recruit
disproportionately. I have discussed this previously with Paul Entwistle
and he fully agreed that a general gynaecologist as they exist in my
area will have very limited fertility knowledge and practise, in
comparison to a fertility consultant, or even a general gynae who does
not have to spread him/herself so thinly across so many disciplines. Therefore I will disagree and continue to feel that my choice to seek guidance from Zita and her team of qualified fertility drs was, and continues to be, the right decision.
I
absolutely realise that I will receive no help with my thyroid from the
NHS, and have never even considered bringing it up to any NHS dr. I am
aware there would be no point. I merely mentioned it out of interest,
and on the off-chance that someone else reading this may comment on how
any treatment of their own boarderline result (all be it privately)
helped them achieve a successful outcome.
'Recurrent miscarriage
testing will be offered to you for free when you have three proven
miscarriages, like everyone else.' I take objection to this
statement....no not like everyone else! Of all 3 friends of mine who
have similar fertility woes (they are all in different areas of the
country) have all received swifter, more empathetic, and thorough
investigations than I am yet to receive. One had been trying for
13months and was given full intitial bloods, another had been trying for
15months and had had two losses and was given full bloods, vit d test,
and full level 1 immunology, Another had been trying for 20 months, had
one loss and was given all stated previously plus a lap and dye. None of
these women had any gynae history, nor did any of the basic results
come back as abnormal to spur on further testing, other than the second
one who discovered through day three tests she had PCOS, but was still
ovulating and had good progesterone. A test, like I have said, I am
still yet to have. I also have a good friend who went to her gp before
ttc, to say she was concerned at how light her period was, and was
immediately given full day 21 and day 3 tests. These are all 'in person'
long standing friends and not forum friends might I add (just in case it
is thought I am taking these examples from a maybe less general group,
if you catch my drift). So you can see my 'real life' comparative
situations have made me feel like I am being short-changed, this is part
of the reason I posted the question.
I feel your post pits me against my fellow girls, this
is not the case, I am not objecting to waiting as long as others in a similar position have to, I am objecting to the system. I didn't ask if you thought it was ok for me to try and push other women
out of the way to queue jump, I asked if the wait to see a gynae
was standard, rather than the gp doing the tests. I have absolutely no intention of trampling on others to get ahead, I merely wanted to find the lay of the land, hence why I
posted asking you informed ladies your experiences, and didn't plow in
all guns blazing to my local board.
I am relieved that my experience
is 'normal', but saddenned also. I completely disagree with the
sentiment that 'that's how the NHS works.' This doesn't automatically
make it alright. It is wrong that you had
to wait for 6months to see a gynae after 2 miscarriages and over the age
of 35. It is wrong that we foot the bill
for health tourists (totalling to more than a quarter of the yearly health budget) to have health treatment in the uk because our government cannot do their job properly, while cancer drugs are regected,
waiting lists for urgent cases grow and grow etc, etc. To say that's just the way it is isn't helpful to our society. We should be angered by this, we should stand up to it. Can you imagine if women were still seen as second class citizens, there was a time when it was said, that's just 'how it works'.......we know that doesn't make it right. When I have the energy, and have climbed out of the hole I find myself in, I intend to make my voice heard when it comes to fertility provisions and access in the uk. I will never say, 'tough, that's just how it is.' Yes we do need to make the best of things, but that doen't mean having to pretend that it's all ok.
Also thanks for your insight into temperature charting....I have doubted myself long enough and I won't let you tell me I am not worthy of investigation as what I experienced was invalid because it doesn't suit your ideal of how one tests for pregnancy. I have charted for a long time, know my cervical mucous, I ALWAYS get a positive opk prior to a very clear temperature shift, I know how long my lp is, I know when I'm late, I know what my miscarriage pains feel like in comparison to my period pains, I know what the weighty feeling on top of my uterus means, I know what the the dead remnants of my tiny baby looks like in my hands. These I experienced and charted on the four further losses. I didn't want to believe it could be true, I wanted to be able to fix this problem myself, I did not want to turn to the very people who sent me from pillar to post during my first loss. I haven't fixed this problem myself, and pretending it wasn't happening didn't help. So I won't put my head in the sand anymore, and won't allow anyone to make me feel my experiences were invalid, and strike off those tiny lives as nonentities. Thanks...your dismissive attitude has made me face reality, made my conviction stronger, and will help propel me forward to get answers.
The msgs from you have seemed in places quite antagonistic. But the above thank you is genuine. Having to defend my position has made me stronger. I also genuinely appreciate you taking the time to post back, even if some of it seemed pretty harsh to me.
Now on to the last post. It is lovely to hear that your friend has had such a positive outcome. I love to hear such wonderful stories, I pray every day we'll get there. I know little of your journey, but at what ever stage you are I wish you all the very best and every happiness. If I don't hear back on this thread I hope to speak again sometime in the future, perhaps on better terms