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  • "emmababe" started this thread

Posts: 268

Reg: Apr 15th 2008

Location: birmingham

Children: three children before being sterilised and now fourth one is 5 now thanks to ivf

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Tuesday, February 18th 2014, 4:17pm

am i being selfish

I'm 41 this year and have three older children and one whos nearly five from ivf but wanting another baby I know I have kids but I love them and could kick myself for getting sterilised after my daughter was born that's why we had ivf before and had our lovely little boy Charlie I think it would be selfish to have another baby but sit crying wanting another would it be fair on Charlie even though he loves his niece to bits please help



Posts: 1,614

Reg: Aug 1st 2009

Location: burton on trent

Children: 4 boys 3 living 1 deceased

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Life is getting there - mainly good days

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Tuesday, February 18th 2014, 5:09pm

hi emma,

if you are then I am too. I am 41, have a nearly 18 yr old, a 6 yr old and a 3.5 yr old and im just about to embark on another round of frozen embryo transfer. all mine are boys and though I would dearly love a girl, I would be happy with either. I don't feel my family is complete yet. and im not ready to quit, so why should I? my nanna had her last baby at 43, so why cant I?

I say, if that's what you really want - go for it. ask yourself this, do couples who have no difficulties having children question whether theyre selfish or try to justify having another one. I doubt it. so why should we? if you have the means and wherewithal to pursue your dreams then I say go for it. you only live once!!!!

good luck honey

jade xxx
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

chaz84

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Reg: Oct 1st 2013

Location: northern ireland

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Tuesday, February 18th 2014, 7:48pm

Hi emma I know how u feel im in the same boat as u but my youngest wud b 5 now but he died of leukemia age 2 wer on the waiting list for ivf treatment ive 3 older children aswell id love more children just not one more a couple more. We went to get me sterilisation reversal but the hospital told me I was taking the early menopause had the same tests done at the ivf clinic and im not so u go for it ur not being selfish hun. Its only natural u go for it.x

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Chaz84

Posts: 1,193

Reg: May 30th 2010

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Tuesday, February 18th 2014, 11:25pm

You are not selfish. I am just so sorry for your sterilisation - same goes for you chaz and my heart goes out to you little one who died.

How did it happen? Did you get proper counselling? Were you pressured into it? Whising you all the luck in the world xx

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