One biological child, next with DI??

Annie79

Newbie

Posts: 13

Reg: Jan 26th 2009

1

Monday, January 26th 2009, 7:08am

Hi all,

First of all - sorry about the English, as I am from Norway...

Me and my husbond has got a daughter conceived after 4th TESA/ICSI (sperm extracted from the testicles due to azoospermia). Have tried 5 more cycles for another baby without any positive pregnancy tests, and got the horrible message last summer: they can't find sperm in my husbond anymore, completely empty and most likely it is because of too many TESA's resulting in scaring tissue... :bawl:

It has been quite tough, but we of course adores the miracle we already have gotten and focuse on her. Nevertheless, it is very hard not to want another child as we have already tried desperately for so long. How can I/we turn off that desire/wish. Well, as my husbond is really negative to adoption, he could be open for DI, so we are talking about it and have recently started seeing a psychologist. It is not an easy decition, since there are emotions that we do not know how will be in the future. Main concideration is of course if my husbond will feel as much for the new baby as he does to our daughter.

The last months I have searched/googled for anyone being in the same situation. But I can't find them, just couples that used donor eggs for the second one. Are there anyone on this forum who has done it??? Or have heard of it before? Are we crazy and should axept what has happened and just move on now? Should be the easiest alternative in some ways, but I think my heart will bleed.. Are a bit desperate to hear about/read "happy" stories of the theme...

Thank you for reading, and hope for comments.

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Eeyore

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Monday, January 26th 2009, 8:26am

Hi Annie

Welcome! One of our team members, INDIECHICK is expecting twins after DI

I'll let her know that you are here!

I hope you like it on here, we have very friendly and supportive members that are sure to make your TTC journey that little bit easier, I hope you feel right at home with us all soon.

Here are some links that you may find useful.

There is an abbreviations section HERE so you know what we're all going on about.

There is a ** GETTING STARTED - FZ FACTS, TIPS & HELP ** thread HERE this contains everything you need to know about getting started on FZ and a few guidelines too.

There is a how to search section HERE so you can get the maximum benefit from the forum.

There is an IUI/DI section HERE so you can chat to other going through IUI.

There is a donor chitter chatter thread HERE which is where a lot of people that have donor sperm or eggs hang out.

And finally!! Have you seen that lots of our members have fancy names in their signatures? If you’re interested in having something similar it’s really easy to do. Have a look HERE to choose a style. If there isn't one you like there, let us know the kind of thing you'd like and we'll try and create one for you.

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Wishing you all the luck in the world with your TTC journey, I hope you get your BFP soon!!

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Annie79

Newbie

Posts: 13

Reg: Jan 26th 2009

3

Monday, January 26th 2009, 8:35am

Hey Eeyore,

Thanks for the warm welcome! And thank you for the helpful links, I'll make a signature when I've got more time, was in a hurry when registering this morning.

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Torisen

MEMBER

Posts: 3,468

Reg: Jan 1st 2006

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Monday, January 26th 2009, 10:02am

Hej och valkommen!
Jag ar Svensk men bor i England och har lite erfarenhet i omradet om du vill prata!

I think it is a great idea to talk to someone.
It is tricky when you started off with a biological child and then to result with using a donor. But it is tricky no matter what you do.
I used a different donor from my first child and the one I am currently expecting. It was awful to find out that we could not use the original donor any longer but I spoke to my GP and she really helped us to think things through.

The most important thing is to be open with your husband and talk about things!!

I ended up going to Denmark due to donor regulations (they are still anonymous there) and a similar gene pool to me so if you want some more information then I am here for you!

Take Care!

ICSI Jan 2006 - BFP
MC one twin at 6 weeks
DS born in Oct 2006
BF DS 10 months 3 weeks and 5 days
FET 11/07, ICSI 12/07 (ABANDONED), ICSI 2/08, IUI 5/08 - BFN
Clomid IUI 7/08 BFP MC a twin... again

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Indiechick

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Reg: Oct 25th 2007

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Monday, January 26th 2009, 5:42pm

Hey there Annie

Sounds like you have had a tough time recently! Like Eeyore said I'm a success story but it took a long time to get to this stage. There are so many things to consider and both of you need to be 100% sure that this is what you want to do, sounds like you are doing the right thing by exploring your feelings. Dh and I are so happy we made the decision to see this through because after all of the tears it is worth it. I understand things are a little different as you already have a child but DI is definatly a viable option.

Come and join us ladies here ** DONOR CHITTER CHATTER ** you can feel free to discuss your thoughts and feelings and be reassured that you will always get a friendly ear from people who have felt the same!

Good luck!
x

3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP

Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076]

TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

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Sun Flower

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Tuesday, January 27th 2009, 1:56pm

welcome

look forward to chatting to you in the donor chitter chatter section xx

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Annie79

Newbie

Posts: 13

Reg: Jan 26th 2009

7

Thursday, January 29th 2009, 9:13pm

Hi again,

Hope to get more time here on FZ, but you know... days go by... I posted on the Donor chitter chatter though, but hope someone like me and dh pops by and sees this thread one day.

Torisen - I'll send you a PM!

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+one

Newbie

Posts: 7

Reg: Jan 27th 2009

Location: northern ireland

Children: one beautiful daughter from IVF icsi

8

Friday, January 30th 2009, 9:21pm

hi I am in a similar position. Though in northern ireland there are know sperm donors, so could wait on list till I become menopausal. We had IVF ICSI with sperm from EEJ husband has no sperm due to Spinal injury. Daughter born 2007. Desperate for 2nd child. Further EEJ showed NO sperm following two attempts. TESA not suitable. Now on list for Donor. I know how you feel. I am sure like me you thought one would be enough but it has made my drive to have another even more. :bawl:

so want to be a mummy again!!!!!!

;-0

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Annie79

Newbie

Posts: 13

Reg: Jan 26th 2009

9

Friday, January 30th 2009, 9:57pm

Hi +one,

Yes, I saw your post on the Chitter chatter pages, and replied to you there, think it was yesterday. Must admit I was reliefed and glad to read that there are others in the same situation as us! I have searched quite some time, and here you are...

Wish you didn't have to go through this though, I know how hard it is. It has been like hell some periods, but we feel that it's going better now and that DI is a probable path now.

It's correct what you say, I also thought one child would be enough, but I guess that the desire is so strong because you and I already know how much a kid means and what joy it brings to life. It is so hard to stop wanting the 2nd one, even if it would be an easy way out in some ways, not having to deal with difficult emotions with respect to father/child bonding etc.

Too bad there are no donors in Northern Ireland! Is it an option for you to go abroad? There are no waiting lists in Denmark, and lots of donors. D-IUI costs a couple of hundred £, not too much even if you have to add flight tickets. Compared to D-IVF in Northern Ireland which I would think is far more expensive. Just a thought!

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Indiechick

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Posts: 5,851

Reg: Oct 25th 2007

10

Saturday, January 31st 2009, 10:45am

Hello and welcome +one

So glad you have found each other as it seems you have a lot in common!

x

3rd IUI - 08/08/08 - tested 22/08/08 BFP

Scan 09/09/08 - 2 [zx076]

TWINS!
2 beautiful boys born 16/04/09

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+one

Newbie

Posts: 7

Reg: Jan 27th 2009

Location: northern ireland

Children: one beautiful daughter from IVF icsi

11

Saturday, February 21st 2009, 8:23pm

RE: One biological child, next with DI??

Hi annie, I am in a very similar situation. We conceived our DD after our 2nd icsi, for male factor infertility DH has high level spinal cord injury. Our DH is now 22 months. We desperately want another child but two EEJ has revealed no sperm and doctors are unwilling to repeat procedure. They also feel TESE would not give a better result and feel it is to high risk due to bleeding etc. We are now awaiting counselling for donor however no donors exsist in Ireland. We have now met a couple who require a egg donor and are willing to be sperm donor in return. This will only be possible if blood results for CMV are okay. In the meantime we wait. My DH feels he will have no issues of loving the second child any less, we just desperately want a larger family.
PM me if you want to chat

;-0

This post has been edited 1 times, last edit by "+one" (Feb 21st 2009, 8:25pm)

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Annie79

Newbie

Posts: 13

Reg: Jan 26th 2009

12

Sunday, February 22nd 2009, 2:19pm

Hi one+,

I've sent you a PM!

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Annie79

Newbie

Posts: 13

Reg: Jan 26th 2009

13

Friday, July 26th 2013, 11:10pm

More than 4 years have past since I started this thread, and we were through a lot of thinking and emotions back then.

Long story short - we went through 6 cycles of donor inseminations, 2 ivf with donor and 2 cycles with frozen embryos. Finally got the positive pregnancy test and now we have 2 years old TWINS! : D

It was a tough time in our life going through everything, but at the end it was so worth it.

Their dad loves them just as much as he loves our eldest child, and it is really no problem that we used donor.

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Net

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Saturday, July 27th 2013, 1:16am

What a lovely end to the story. Congratulations! Thanks for coming back and updating xx

NET

ICSI Feb 2011- :BFP:

m/c
FET Aug11 & Nov 11 - cancelled pre ET
FET May 2012- :BFP:

DD born Feb 2013
FET Feb 2015 :BFP:

DD2 born Nov 2015

MY DIARY

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louise78

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Saturday, July 27th 2013, 7:37am

Ditto to net's comments - lovely to hear the final outcome

congratulations!

6x cycles of clomid bfn
2X iui bfn
1x ivf - identical triplets - miscarried triplet at 9 weeks, lost my other two beautiful boys at 23 weeks - passed away shortly after birth 17th June 2010.
4x FET 1 early loss
1 natural early loss.
2011 Nov immune cycle FET bfn
2012 Jan immune cycle ivf bfp baby7

Ds arrived safely 1/10/12 : D

2013 Aug immune cycle FET bfp confirmed miscarriage at 8 weeks
2014 Jan immune cycle bfn
2014 April immune cycle bfn.
2014 July fet bfp ❤️ seen at 7,9 and 11 weeks