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  • "jen84288" started this thread

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Reg: Aug 24th 2008

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Thursday, January 3rd 2013, 10:36pm

getting a 5 month old to sleep alone (without using a cry it out method)

hi ladies - I have 2 DDs. DD1 is 3.5 years and although a handful in the day, she goes to sleep in her own bed at night at 6:30pm no problems and wakes again at 6:30 am. possibly a result of quite a rigid routine from early on. my parenting style has changed quite alot since and i have taken more of an 'attachment' parenting approach - i breastfeed DD2 who is 5 months old on demand, we co sleep and follow a very lose routine (if any at all). This seems to work well over all as dd2 is very placid, easygoing and flexible but we do struggle at bedtime. I like the idea of co sleeping still although i wish she would go down to sleep without me. Unfortunately i have gotten in the habit of putting dd1 down to bed and getting into bed at 7ish with dd2 and watching tv quietly while she doses. for a few nights DH and i have tried unsuccessfully putting dd2 down to sleep in her co sleeper crib (well feeding her to sleep) and going downstairs but she only wakes about an hr later and realises we're not there and cries. we are currently looking for a bigger house so she doesnt have a room of her own yet so will have to say with us (but this does make feeding in the night alot easier anyway) - i chose to co sleep as i thought i would have a better chance of getting sleep at night with breastfeeding and having to get up at 6:30 with dd1. As it happens co cleeping has made the night wakings very easy to deal with but she wont sleep at night without us being with her :S (naps in the day work okay though) Any suggestions?
DH poor motility-Excellent SA following change in diet
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Friday, January 4th 2013, 11:22pm

hi again jen,

i had and still do to certain extent have the same problem. but now youngest is 2 and a bit, if i lie with him till hes asleep, i can creep put of the room and get me time from 7.30 till 10 pm, then he starts stirring. the only thing that has allowed me this window is time unfortunately. as you know me from jealousy thread, you know we still co-sleep now.

just a little thought though, do you turn tv off when you leave the room or do you leave it on quiietly in the background? please dont be offended as you probably have that covered, but if you do turn it off, could that be one of the triggers in her subconscous. if you dont then im stumped and i think it will be a 'time' thing.

hope someone comes alog soon with some better answers

take care

jade x
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

  • "jen84288" started this thread

Posts: 512

Reg: Aug 24th 2008

Children: 2 daughters

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Saturday, January 5th 2013, 11:07am

thanks jade - i was thinking exactly the same thing this morning. I do have the tv off when we go downstairs so maybe having it on quietly in the background would help. I will try again tonight having the tv on - she seemed to go off alot earlier last night (7:45 ish) but i was lying in bed next to her :S As much as i love co sleeping i think ive created a monster haha. On the flip side though i dont think i would have coped exclusively breastfeeding without co sleeping xx
DH poor motility-Excellent SA following change in diet
BFP:26.09.08

Posts: 1,614

Reg: Aug 1st 2009

Location: burton on trent

Children: 4 boys 3 living 1 deceased

What's Up?
Life is getting there - mainly good days

Thanks: 114 / 32

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Saturday, January 5th 2013, 7:29pm

indeed on creating a monster lol. but exclusive b/fing is hard not co-sleeping, i know. i exclusively b/f youngest and co-slept, just to sleep. withn 3 weeks LO learnt how to wriggle to permanently exposed breast and suckle without disturbing me. maybe turning tv off is the 'disturber' as she is obviously used to going to sleep wth it on.

i saw a funny thing last night. i have a hook and eye on the outside of my bedroom door for when 5 yr old goes to bed. he sneaks into my room if door isnt locked. so i went up the stairs to find my 5 yr old had dragged his pillow and duvet outside my door and was fast asleep on the floor, outside my bedroom, bless him. so i picked him up and put him in my bed, then youngest and finally me on the edge. 5 yr old briefly opened his eyes and said "i was waiting for you". yeah think i noticed that rotf

good luck. try keeping tv on, but if not i feel it will be time and time alone.

jade x
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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Sunday, January 6th 2013, 1:04pm

My DS has always been terrible at self settling and I was determined DD would be different!! Although I have never coslept they both stayed in our room until 6 months. From very early on we have used a musical light projector every time she goes for a nap or to bed that she associates with going to sleep. It has worked really well and when she moved rooms recently it moved with her! Something like that may be worth a try.


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  • "jen84288" started this thread

Posts: 512

Reg: Aug 24th 2008

Children: 2 daughters

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Sunday, January 6th 2013, 10:28pm

aw jade - its all part of the fun isnt it lol ...many nights DH and i wake up right on the edge while little madam is spread out. C also has easy access to the boob so i dont even wake when she feeds. Tonight has gone a bit better again - i bathed the girls at 5:30 - something im going to do at around that time every evening and then lydia went at 6:30 and i lay with lottie and fed her to sleep. she woke an hour later quite hysterical :S and i went up and lay with her until she drifted back off. I did this a few times (left the tv in our room on tonight and sat downstairs) and although i was up and down the stairs she did seem to start her night time at around 7 which is good. Peviously she'd dose then wake for a bit and finally go to sleep around 10 when we do...so (reluctantly) i am starting to form some sort of routine A question for you jade...did you find with co sleeping that your LOs went alot of time between feeds in the day. C used to be a frequent day time feeder but she wont feed for the sake of feeding - only when hungry. In theory this sounds great but when i am trying to go somewhere and want to feed her just before we go out i cant always get her to feed. Lately she has been going 4 / 5 hrs without feeds in the day but i am starting to suspect she is filling up at night as it is so readily available. She is not on solids yet but still gaining weight. Just wondering if this is normal?

Thanks for the tip jasper - i just dug out lydias musical light projector and for the last couple of days i have been putting Lottie down for naps in lydias bed and then at 6:30 / 7 ish in her co sleeper crib (even though she ends up in our bed) Hopefully she'll associate me putting her in her crib with it being night time. Shes actually quite a good self settler for naps but not when she goes to bed for the night as she wakes up after about an hr thinking it was only a nap...i suppose she's just used to having someone right next to her right the way through the night...i just keep reminding myself that she wont be 18 and still wanting to sleep in our bed....i hope! lol xx
DH poor motility-Excellent SA following change in diet
BFP:26.09.08

Posts: 1,614

Reg: Aug 1st 2009

Location: burton on trent

Children: 4 boys 3 living 1 deceased

What's Up?
Life is getting there - mainly good days

Thanks: 114 / 32

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Monday, January 7th 2013, 2:23pm

hi jen,

unfortunately no i didnt find that, i would have been very relieved lol. john from birth until 6 months old was literally latched on and suckling every 1.5 hours, day and night. he fed really well at night (most times suckling for over an hour at a time), but in the day i think he used me as a dummy. was very hard trying to juggle housework,shopping, playing with toddler with a baby constantly on me, but you learn to do things 1 handed ;) on the 2nd january 2011, he was nuzzling into the boob ready for a feed and when i went to latch him on, he turned his head away and refused point blank. he kept doing that all day, soi went to the chemist and got baby rice and formula (he was hungry, just turned away from me), fed him some rice and formula and he slept for about 3 hours!!!!! i tried to give him boob juice throughout the night and he refused again, so in the end i gave him a 7 oz bottle which he whacked and slept the rest of the night away. so i thought on the 3rd jan, you're done. started weaning in earnest that morning. tried to give hm b/m a couple of times during the day, which he refused again, so didnt bother again. within a week, most of the milk was gone. but i honestly dont know ig going 4/5 hours in the day is normal, it probably is, if like you suspect, she is filling up at night. also, wth gaining weight, i wouldnt imagine its harmful. hopefully someone will be along who knows a little more than me and can answer your question better.

i am glad that last night was a bit better for you. i bet after climbing the stairs a few times, you wished you lived in a bungalow ;) , i know i do sometimes ;)

hope tonight goes well for you

jade x
After a long hard infertility journey, i am now reluctantly done

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