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  • "vickylou82" started this thread

Posts: 428

Reg: Apr 2nd 2010

Location: manchester

Children: hoping for children one day x

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Monday, June 14th 2010, 7:10pm

oh my god

Hi everyone,

just didn't know who to turn too, i think i must be the most selfish woman on the planet at the moment,
I've been ttc for over 7 years and we've discovered we need ivf for male factor infertility. I've always kept grounded about it all and belived the most important thing is me and my df relationship remains solid. We've been planning our wedding for 2 years and are due to be married in six weeks, my parent's and brother live in australia and are coming home, i was over the moon as i haven't seen them for years.
3 weeks ago my sister rang me to tell me she is getting married a couple of weeks after me, which was fine, they have only been together a year but are happy.
She has just rang me, she's absolutly over the moon, She's just done a test and she's pregnant, i feel like someone has just kicked me in the chest. I told her how happy i was for her but i had to force the words, tears were welling in my eyes and i felt sick, how horrible am i.
I feel like it's all worked out perfect for her and i almost feel like joke, at my wedding it's gonna be all about her, her wedding, her baby.
This isn't like me, i have never cried about not being able to have kids. She said she's coming round tomorrow but i don't thing i could hold it together, i don't want to spoil her precious moment, and i don't want to her to remember it by me being jealous. I know i need to stop being a selfish cow but it hurts so much, i can't even say to her that i need some time as she is over sensitive and hurts easily. The other thing is she started trying for a baby almost straight away after meeting her partner and i'm the one who told them how to chart, gave them fertility monitors, helped her check symptoms and told her what to asked and explained what tests she may have, so what the hell did i expect. I'm sorry for going on and on, just need to get some perspective don't i :-(


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There's only one thing more painful than having a baby!................ Not being able to have a baby xxxx

ME-28 DH-34
MFI
TTC 8 YEARS
1ST ICSI JUNE 2011-
:BFN: :tears:

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Monday, June 14th 2010, 7:38pm

Hi

I just wanted to say please don't think you're reaction is bad to your sisters pregnancy news, it's completely normal! No matter how special someone is to you when someone tells you they're pregnant when you've been TTC so long it's like a kick in the teeth. It's a shock, you feel jealous and say 'why not me?' - it's a completely natural reaction. Does your sister know about your TTC for so long? If so she'll know how you're feeling. I would suggest you put a brave face on and a fake smile and just try to say all the right things.

My sis and I are very close but it still hurt when she told me she was pregnant, I cried and cried when I was alone with DH. Even when she had the baby I was there shortly after and saw the baby be weighed etc and it was so amazing to be involved but I cried and cried the next day coz I was so sad it wasn't me. My niece will always have a special place in my heart though because she's given DH & I such joy and hope that we'd get pregnant and we did with the help of IVF.

I just want 2 stress 2 u that you are not a bad person for feeling this way, it's completely normal and you will find a way through this.

Sending you lots of support and hugs
xxx

2 ectopic pregnancies - 2005 & 2009
beautiful daughter born Sept 2010 thanks to IVF
IVF#3 April/May 2012 - BFN
IVF#4 in Oct/Nov 2012



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Emo

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Reg: Mar 28th 2010

Location: Surrey

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Monday, June 14th 2010, 8:21pm

Oh Vickylou, this is a really tricky situation and of course you feel jealous. Infertility is not fair in any way and can bring emotions in all of us that we are not proud of sometimes. You are allowed to feel how you are feeling because 7 years is a long wait. I'm sure you know that your wedding is going to be as special and amazing as hers and you are definately not selfish.

I think you can show your sister really how absolutely happy you are and how much you love her but I'm sure she will understand if you tell her that hearing that she found it so easy to get pregnant was hard.
:cuddle at this tricky time.

xxxxxxx

    United Kingdom

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Reg: Apr 26th 2010

Location: Kent

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Monday, June 14th 2010, 8:33pm

How can you be a bad person when you spent all that time with her, sharing all your knowledge and tips about conceiving a baby. You're clearly a very kind and generous person. How you're feeling is perfectly normal, when my best friend fell pregnant it was sooo hard! But I told her the truth, that I was thrilled for her but sad for myself.

Thinking of you and hope you have an amazing wedding xx
IVF April 10 - AF arrived 3 days before OTD
ICSI June 10 - AF arrived 3 days before OTD...again
ICSI Feb 11 - AF arrived 8 days before OTD
ICSI Oct 11 - BFP then mc at 7wks
ICSI Mar 12 - BFP 06/04/12 [zx076] Samuel James born 05/12/12

Rico

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Monday, June 14th 2010, 8:36pm

Hi Vicky,
I know just how you feel all my sister does is moan about her three gorgeous boys and demands that i help her out and look after them all the time - i have begun refusing as it just hurts so much that she moans so much about what i want so much - it is good to just get it off your chest though!!

Don't worry i'm sure your time will come and as for your big day it will be special even your sister will make it so as she will know that for one day it is all about you and her time will be later!!

Wishing you loads of luck and feel free to moan away as we all need them sometimes!!

Take care [zx127]

My Diary

1 IVF/ICSI failed to fertilise May 10 :bawl:
2: IVF/ICSI October10 (BFN) :sniff:
3: IVF/ICSI Feb 11 - OMG a very cautious :BFP: :bawl: Another little soul lost M/C 7 weeks :bawl:
4: Full fresh ICSI/SSR/IVF Feb 12 xfingers :BFN: :tear:
5: :goodnews: IM Barcelona for DE Oct/Nov 13 - :BFP: :heart: seen many times :loony:
Our miracle is here bab22 30/6/14 :thumbsup2:

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