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Monday, April 25th 2011, 3:18pm

Author: basilbrush


hi Molly Well firstly let me say me and DH had depression and were honest and upfront about it, We had to have a medical so your husband will be better off declaring it and being upfront as it will come out. Our agency were great as part of our homestudy we had to write an essay about what we learnt about ourselves from having depression and what spport techniques and straegies we would use in the future to prevent it again. We passed our medicals and also passed our panel. HOWEVER.......checky ...

Sunday, April 24th 2011, 1:33pm

Author: basilbrush


Hello I dont mind at all you ask away and dont fret as Calypso said what yoru doing now wont be what you may be doing in a years time or when a child arrives. So wait and see what the next 12 months bring, I understand your need to ask as I worried hopelessly about everything and my life has changed somewhat from what I started on the journey with. So wait and see and then ask away!! BASILXXXX

Sunday, April 24th 2011, 1:23pm

Author: basilbrush


Hi Weasley You know its right your mind should be racing as its a massive step. I have been on the adoption treadmill for 2 years now and nearly placed with children (see my diary for the latest saga of matching). However there are lots of good books out there, little steps for Big People by Celia foster, A childs journey through placement by Vera Fahlberg, trauma attachment and reslience by Kate Cairns. All good books and will help you realised what its about. A lot of t hese children have had ...

Sunday, April 24th 2011, 12:54pm

Author: basilbrush


Hello Lovely Have just read through your threads, its great that your husband has been prepared to be open about the possibility of adoption. Its true that everyone needs a different space and time to come to terms with things, and I know that for some women, we jsut want to move on to the next step, but my DH and sounds like lots on here like to take their time and cointemplate. Not being able to have your own biological child, is a massive massive shock and its taken me years to accept that I ...

Sunday, November 29th 2009, 7:38pm

Author: basilbrush

We have applied ...

Hi No idea re laws in Northern Ireland but good luck am nearly at the end of the process myself and we have panel in 16 days to go. If can always PM me or pop into my diary if you wanna ask any questions. Good luck its been an amazing and so far joyous journey. Basil

Friday, September 4th 2009, 8:28pm

Author: basilbrush

Fostering -

Hi just read your post and can understand your excitement - hope it all goes really really well for you.

Friday, September 4th 2009, 8:13pm

Author: basilbrush

Unsure of future

Hi emma I read through your post and also the responses and agree with them. I too cannot have children and am now half way through our adoption process. Adoption process is designed to help you through this and decide whats right for you or not. It is very hard and I am 41 nearly and have no reason why I could not conceive really and that is really hard. I am excited about adoption and looking forward to it, but there is always a small part of me that will have longed to be mother naturally but...

Friday, August 21st 2009, 9:12pm

Author: basilbrush

Adoption vs. IVF

Hi there I think you ahve to decide what is right for you and DH and you will find the answer sooner or later. I had fertility treatment and it did nto work, and I had a miscarriage which was heartbreaking and took me a long time to come to terms with. with hindsight I would have skipped the fertiity and got on with adoption but only because 6 years of trying later I know it did not work!! But hey thats hindsight for you. Adoption is not an easy route and you are not guaranteed a baby by any mea...

Tuesday, July 28th 2009, 10:00am

Author: basilbrush

Provera /AF question

Hi Taken it to introduce a AF and actually got pregnant while taking them as well, although sadly miscarried. Your AF should turn up after about 3-4 days and do a preggie test just in case if it does not as I was pregnant when my brown discharge turned up and not a full on bleed but being a doughnut had not realised!! Goodluck

Tuesday, June 9th 2009, 10:45pm

Author: basilbrush

Finding people I'd rather not!

BT I would ask your agency why if you cannot trace him why they cannot and if its that long ago why the heck do they want it?? Just sent you an e-mail about this as its very weird why they want them. They have enhanced checks and I would just say you cannot trace him no idea where he is, you will need to find him. They would have access to CRB and electorall roll registration etc etc and could do it. If not its tough luck on them............ Hope this helps - prob not but I have given my best th...

Tuesday, June 9th 2009, 10:41pm

Author: basilbrush

Hi all...Our Journey..

Do whats right for you and your family

Tuesday, June 9th 2009, 10:39pm

Author: basilbrush

want to get the ball rolling.....but very scared

Hi I am about a 3rd way through the process so if you wanna ask away just ask...... tBouncy Tigger is right you have to fill out a dangerous dog questionnaire which all dog owners fill out and they will do an enhanced CRB so just be honest and upfrontg with them about it. They will find out through checks and references so the best thing to be is honest, it wont go against you, but our VA said you must always declare everything as if something comes up you have not told them they wont like it. I...

Sunday, May 17th 2009, 11:53am

Author: basilbrush

womb lining thickness

Hello Unsure where you are in treatment at the start of the treatment cycle your womb lining should be down a min of 4-5mm and this would be your base scan start point. They might leave it longer for it to shed down more as 14mm would be what it could get to once you are having treatment. For a baby to implant it would be between 8-16mm apparently any less and it might not happen and anymore it might not happen but depends on your Dr and protocol. Unsure why they canot measure it more precisily ...

Sunday, May 17th 2009, 11:48am

Author: basilbrush


Hi Just read your thread, I am on met, done nothing for me and then once I stopped all tx treatments and was on my own so to speak, I upped my dose to 1000mg am and pm i.e 4 x 500 tabs and strangely I had a cycle for 5 months!! gone a bit wonky again now though. I seem to have AF's s that once they start they just dont stop and then seem to have a week or two break and start again, it has helped with that side, still fat though!!

Sunday, March 1st 2009, 3:47pm

Author: basilbrush

where can you apply to adopt?

Hi sunflower I am just starting on my adoption process so the other girls have more or less answered most things. We are going with an agency, the LA has a long wait list, we had to wait 6 months till fertility treatment ended to allow for grieving, we then had to have another home visit to open our case again(as they had closed it) and then in November was told about 6 months till we get a SW and then in Jan told another 8 mnths. However since Nov have been enquiring with agen...

Saturday, February 14th 2009, 10:53am

Author: basilbrush

Can I adopt

hi Zoe yes it woud affect your IVF attempts. when you adopt your fertility treatment have to have stopped and you ususally have to wait 6months - 1 year depending on the agency or LA that you go with to allow you time to grieve for the child you will not cannot have. Most would not even contemplate adoption with you still going thru any kind of treatment and they would also require medical checks etc which would clarify when the treatment ended anyway once you have your private medical. To adopt...

Monday, February 9th 2009, 10:42pm

Author: basilbrush

work and adoption

Thanks vegemite. I really appreciate all this help with information. becky

Monday, February 9th 2009, 10:27pm

Author: basilbrush

work and adoption

thank you both sooooooooooooo mcuh you have put my minds at rest no end. I could not go to Bristol on Friday as the information day was abandoned due to snow so have to wait till this Thursday and then we have to still wait for the update from my local authority on the updated home vist. Just found out some more old friends are pregnant, really happy for them but just feel so frustrated, I want to my journey to start, just waiting for a social worker is soooooooooo annoying and I am just frettin...

Wednesday, February 4th 2009, 10:08pm

Author: basilbrush

work and adoption

oh thank you so much both of you, its such a comfort to hear your words, I am in a right old pickle. I actually read your diary Marlene and it really did make me giggle particularly the bits about husband speaking unsupervised. I know what you mean there...........I do get a bit worried I chat too much but thats me, thats how I am. DH is very quiet, reserved and thinks. I hope your panel goes well you must be sooooo excited? Well it must be really nerve racking as I know how much you ...

Sunday, February 1st 2009, 2:18pm

Author: basilbrush

work and adoption

Me and DH are waiting for social worker, we had to have a 6month wait after fertility treatment ended and ring them again which we did and on Thursday 29th Jan social worker came round for informal chat just to see where we were etc and to see if we were ready to proceed once they get a social worker. Anyway topic of work came up, me an DH do have some savings not huge amounts but we both dont earn huge amounts but enough to save. We have carefully considered work options and I will take my full...